exstasy


and every night when i lay here
for a million unceasing
but nevertheless - faithful - hours
waiting for you
i etch your shadow on the skies of dark
into the floor beneath my bed
no less glimmered and brilliant
i stare at the horizons bleak and desolate
awaiting the sun
my counterpart the eminent, my alibi of death
i feared that life was but half of infinity
that this dream would thread a black-hole needle through my soul
appearing to your eyes only as a mirror would
frustration and loss based on empathy
the imprisoned reality
twisted by the maelstroms of guilt
i should have let her go
before temptation lusted my euphoria
snakelike, a form of blithe treachery roaming inward
and tonguing the inner thigh of my conscience
whispering softly, a voice, a tone of dissatisfaction
with the perfection of the graces that adorn your beloved countenance
without which i cannot remain pure and true
but burdened with such vast displeasure i can no longer stay
frustration and loss based on ecstasy
whereupon in the dawn of night
you glow that much brighter, that much farther
away from this insensitive world of misgivings and wanderers
as a misplaced devotion would
betray those bitter and since-forsaken memories of a lonely brokenhearted seclusion
unfathomably intense nightmares
ever-torturous, the teasing of my imagination
the lesser and ordinarily inconsequential tone of voice
spoken in rhymes, of demons and rogues, of innocence seldom led astray
it is because of this that i can swear to no further promise that a moment of the past
shall epitomize one of the future, for i dare not foretell as to which direction
to which heart my love shall course
i can only amend
the misguided empathies which lie in the milieu of
frustration and loss
for a fraction of eternity
those incessant, perpetual hours i spend
lying awake in bed
all alone
waiting for you




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