Come and Gain the Knowledge of Phong, Our Children |
 Now, we have Phong, the wisest sprite in all of Mainframe. He's the Command.Com, you know. WAS. Was the Command.Com. That's Dot's job now. Well, he made her Command.Com! That counts for something Okay, so Phong's a wise, powerful sprite who helps his friends, or "children" as he calls him, in protecting Mainframe. And you have to beat him at Pong to get wisdom. Well, you used to, anyway. He had to get rid of that rule because Enzo couldn't beat him. Hehehehe...Bob always beat him! That's because Mr. Supercompter was used to more complicated stuff. He probably played Doom a whole lot. So? He still beat him! And if you refer to Bob as "Mr. Supercomputer" in a negative way again, you're walking home! Hey, DOT did it. And I wouldn't trust you to drive ME if you had the last car, van, or truck in the universe with the last full tank of gas. She's madly in love with him, so it's allowed. Hey!! Why not? Do I HAVE to remind you about the LAST time I let you drive home? I'm sure those people didn't want that mailbox, anyway. The judge seemed to think differently. How soon we forget! Hey! I paid my debt to society, all right! The past is behind me. And no one has to know about the OTHER time you let me drive, so don't start. You've proved my point well enough already. This is why, even when I DON'T have the last car, van,or truck in the universe with the last full tank of gas, you let me drive. Well, at least we both learned how to change a flat from my adventures. Anyway, back to Phong... Phong. Right. Phong is like a reject from a karate kid movie. But I give him credit for being able to forsee the possibility of having a large Nullzilla on the loose. Good point. But he is kind of forgetful. I mean, how can you FORGET the disruptomatic?? Well, YOU did forget your explosives kit at home that one time. Which is when we needed it the most, I might add. But I was sick!!! That doesn't count. We managed without it... Thank goodness for my hand-held blaster, right? You ALWAYS try to take credit for that one! Well, like you said, you were sick! It's not my fault sneezing ruins your aim! At least I didn't hit YOU. Much. I know. I have the scar to prove it. Can we just move to the next picture, please? *sigh* We're not doing much with this one. What the hey.
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The Fountain of Wisdom lies at the top of that skinny neck.
Now, what else should we say about Phong? Remember that one alternate future in which he's a crazy, old hermit? Well, he's kind of weird in the present...All those readme files he quotes. That's his "wisdom" I guess. Comes with his old age. And I'm surprised the alternate future didn't make you distressed, what with Bob being a null and all. He was an awfully cute Null!! I guess Phong was kind of cool on the alternate future...Didn't he have a windshield collection? Something like that. And one big lens for glasses. Phong's kinda crazy anyway... He looks like it in this picture. But it's a good crazy. Not everyone can pull it off like he can. Or we can. Are you insinuating something? Me? I was just casually referring to our... unique mental states. I figured as much. I'M not the crazy one!! I'M not the one in therapy! That was all your idea! I'm just a concerned friend, like Phong is towards his "children." Are you talking to me like that again?? You know what happens when you talk to me like that!! Stop the psychiatric stuff. Stick to ReBoot!! All right, I won't talk you you like that if you count to ten and lose your tone. And YOU'RE the one who digresses. I have to put us back on track. That's what I pay you for! I have yet to see one cent from this alliance, by the way. So, no, it's NOT what you pay me for. This is a labor of love. Awwwww...you mean you love me? I love you, I love ReBoot- I'm bursting with love and affection, DARN IT! Now how about we cut to next picture? Hehehe...Well, thanks for that outburst. I think it's high time we went to the next picture. |
Of course he's a leader. He's got a desk!
Okay, but I call dibs on explaining Phong's disembodied head! Hey! We drew straws, and I won!! What are you trying to pull on me? Straws do not matter! Calling dibs is the ultimate law in the universe, and I called them two weeks BEFORE we drew straws, remember? I used my telepathic powers to call dibs even before I knew we were doing this page! So there!! Actually in Genesis it says, "And Raven created dibs, and saw that it was good." When did you learn how to read? Same time you learned that dental floss does not constitute a food group. Hey! That mint stuff is pretty good. And that lasted for about a week, thank you very much. All right, how about this: I'll let you describe how he lost his body, and I'll discuss his reconstruction. Fair? Well...I like the reconstruction part better! So we'll switch, okay? :) Thanks. :) Phong was in the Principal Office when Megabyte attacks. So, in an effort to allow Dot and the others to get to safety, he stayed behind to stall the virus. He succeeded, but Megabyte isn't a friendly guy, so the virus ripped Phong's head off and les it float in a jar. He tortured Phong and tried to get codes for stabilizing a tear out of him. Your turn. Phong tried to resist Megabyte, but with the help of some high-tech equipment and Herr Doktor, Megabyte eventually got the codes. He really had no need for Phong after that. When Bob returned to Mainframe and found out Phong had stayed behind with Megabyte, he KNEW (and no one else figured it out) that Phong was more valuable alive than deleted to Megabyte, so he figured there was a chance to save him. He found Phong's head easy enough, but nothing else. Hack and Slash found Phong's body in the trash, and said it smelled bad. :) I love that part! So they put Phong back together... ...and he was alllllllllll better. And then he gave Hex a PID, much to his chagrin. Hehehe. She was all over Phong! "Thank you Phong, where should I pin it?" That's an INVITATION!! I will not think about that, I will NOT think about that... What? She wants him! She does NOT! Did you see her asking Bob where to pin it?? Matrix?? Dot?? NOOOO. It was Phong! Well, he's the one who carries around the PIDs like a kangaroo. And I think the only reason you're saying this is to get over you-know-who. What? I have *NO* idea what you're talking about! Haven't I already had the "denial" discussion with you? And didn't we agree you wouldn't mention that again? All right. Fine. You were just born shippy, okay? Now, the system crashes and restarts...And Phong takes a bunch of pictures. The End. He does enjoy seeing Bob and Dot make out... So do you, you know. Well...Just the Bob part! Really. Umm... you do realize it would be a bit difficult for him to make out with himself. Hey, I'm always available. Although, that would be something to see... That would be something to make one go blind... Just because YOU haven't dated since Megabyte was thrown into the web doesn't mean you have to be bitter! I am an independent woman who, unlike certain people, has better things to do with her Saturday nights than lure the psychopaths out of the loony bin. It was just that once! And I only did it because you dared me to. It's not my fault you didn't pick "Truth!" Well, I was afraid you'd ask me about...Never mind. I...uh...forgive you. Thank you. Now, my friend, please wrap this up for us, won't you? Okay. Stay tuned--Our delusional ramblings center around Enzo next. Why? Because we're going in order. So until then, faithful visitors, GOOD NIGHT. And God bless. |
