Whose Line Is It Anyways?

NOTE: This is a work in progress. It is not finished yet.

~Chapter 1-Party Quirks ~

Announcer: This is Whose Line Is It Anyways?

*crowd cheers*

Announcer: Once again with your author and host Christina B.

*More applause as Christina waves and runs behind her desk.*

Christina: Welcome once again to Whose Line Is It Anyways? The game where the points don't matter just like a deformed piece of melted plastic. It doesn't matter, I don't even know why I still give out points. I'll just have to ask the producers about that one. Anyways, today's show, as was promised is with members of the Fellowship from Middle Earth. After a quick lesson on improv, they are ready for you. Now please welcome the hobbits Frodo The Blue Eyed Baggins and Sam I have a posy for Rosie Gamgee.

*The crowd cheers as Frodo timidly waves at the audience, followed by Sam who waves at Rosie and his 13 children in the audience.*

Christina: Next we have Aragorn Man of many names um.son of Arathorn.

*Aragorn walks out purposely and sits next to Frodo.*

Christina: And last but not least Legolas "Stalked by fangirls" Greenleaf.

*The crowd applauds loudly and some girls whistle at the elf, causing him to roll his eyes.*

Christina: Anyways our first game for tonight is called Party Quirks. This is for all of you. Legolas you are hosting a party and the other three will come in when I ring the bell. Legolas you have to figure out the strange personalities and quirks the others will be portraying. When you are ready, you may start.

*Frodo, Sam, and Aragorn go to the edge and read their cards, while Legolas goes center stage.*

Legolas: Yes my birthday is finally here. You would think after more than 2000 of them I would get sick of celebrating, but one can never celebrate too much. Now just where are my guests.

*Ding dong.*

Legolas: Ooh someone's here!

*Opens imaginary door and Aragorn steps forward. A sign flashes: Hypochondriac (means you imagine you are sick all the time just to get attention)*

Legolas: Aragorn old buddy, old pal, how are you?

Aragorn: Not well I'm afraid. I have an inflammation in my cerebrum and I may have fractured my radius.*

*He steps forward and falls down.*

Aragorn: Darn those tarsals!! Oww!!

Legolas: Okay, that's. interesting.

*Ding dong.*

Legolas: Another person..hello Frodo.

*Sign flashes: Thinks he should be king of the hobbits. Frodo looks up at Legolas condescendingly.*

Frodo: That's Frodo son of Drogo Baggins to you, you mere common elf.

*Ding dong.*

*Legolas opens door and Sam cautiously steps forward. Sign flashes: Sees Imaginary Things.*

Legolas: Hi Sam.

Sam: *Spots something in the distance and has a look of terror on his face.* Aah run for your lives, the evil hobbit eating monster is coming. Come on Mr. Frodo, lets hide. *Pulls Frodo's hand as he tries to get him to run away. Frodo pulls his hand away in disgust.*

Frodo: How dare you try to apprehend me, you servent. You are only a Gamgee, so there fore you don't have the right to be near a Baggins. Now bow before me!

Sam: Look, I'm only trying to help. Ok its going away by Aragorn now, I think you are safe.

Aragorn: It bit me! Oh no, it punctured a vital organ.

*Aragorn falls down and shudders every 10 seconds.*

Frodo: And he thinks he's fit to be royalty! Ha!

Legolas: I've had enough of Frodo the.king?

Christina: Close enough, he thinks he should be king of the hobbits.

*Frodo smiles and goes back to his seat. Legolas moves on to Aragorn.*

Legolas: And I am sick of people who think they are always sick.

Christina: Have a more specific term for that?

Legolas: Hypochondria.

Christina: You got it.

*Legolas approaches Sam, who is pretending to shake hands with someone.*

Sam: Thanks Mrs. Galadriel Ma'm. That dirt stuff and the Mallorn seed really made the Shire purtiful.Really?...More dirt?...You are too kind.

Legolas: Stop imagining things Sam.

*Buzz.*

Christina: *Still giggling.* Good job, 500 points to you all.

~Chapter 2-Whose Line~

Christina: Next we are going to do a game called Whose Line. This is for the hobbits.

*Frodo and Sam get up.*

Christina: What's going to happen is Frodo and Sam are going to act out a scene. Then every once and awhile they will read lines that we earlier asked the audience to donate. The scene is you find out that you are long lost twin brothers.

*Frodo and Sam go to Christina's desk and grab their lines.*

Frodo: Hey you look familiar; as a matter of fact you look like me.

Sam: Yeah I know, it's almost reminds me of that time when my mother said.*Reads sheet.* I am mentally unstable.

Frodo: Well she must have been to loose me at a circus when I were 2.

Sam: So you are my long lost brother that mom said she had misplaced.

Frodo: I guess so, but you know what they all say.*Reads sheet.* let's party like its 2003!

Sam: I see, but my wife won't approve. She always says.*Reads sheet.* I smell like a moose in heat. *Glances at Rosie with a sheepish smile.*

Frodo: Um.ok. I just think that. *Reads next one.* school sucks.

Sam: I don't think so, but I believe that.*Reads sheet.* I'm king of the world. (AN: Obviously a quote used from Titanic)

Frodo: I'm not sure I buy that but.*Reads sheet.* trumpets are awesome.

Sam: Really? I'm more of a saxophone person myself. But what you've got to understand is that.*Reads paper.* I see London, I see France, I can see your underpants.

Frodo: Well, if you can see them so well then what color are they? Huh? What I'm trying to get across is what Bilbo would always say.*Reads sheet.* take me to Disney World.

Sam: where's Disney World?

Frodo: I don't know.ask Bilbo.

Sam: You know what the Gaffer would say about this?

Frodo: No, what?

Sam: He said.*Reads sheet.* the itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout.

Frodo: Really? Well I think that.*Reads sheet.* I have hotpants for you. (From musical Anything Goes)

*Buzz.*

Christina: That was great 900 points each just because I love hobbits!

Aragorn: Christina that's not fair, that's blatant favoritism.

Christina: In Whose Line Is It Anyways, the points never have and never will matter. And I will give you 500 points Aragorn just because you amuse me. Oh and finally 100 points to Frodo for that trumpet quote, (AN: read my profile and you will understand) hehehe. *Glances around suspiciously.* Anyways now we will go to our commercial break.

~Chapter 3-Newsflash ~

Christina: Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyways?

*Crowd cheers.*

Christina: For the next game we are going to do a Newsflash. This is for Frodo, Legolas, and Aragorn. Legolas and Frodo are going to be the anchors for a news show and Aragorn is going to be out in the field. The two of you are going to describe the scene for Aragorn without giving it away. Aragorn is going to stand in front of a green screen. We can see what's happening, but Aragorn can't. When I buzz Aragorn will have to guess what he thinks is behind him. When you guys are ready, go.

*Aragorn steps in front of the green screen with a microphone while Frodo and Legolas sit at the desk.*

Legolas: We are sorry to interrupt the regularly scheduled showing of Survivor: Mordor to bring you this special report.

Frodo: Right. At this moment our reporter Aragorn is out at the scene. Let's go and see what he has to say. Aragorn?

*The scene is the Battle of Helm's Deep from The Two Towers.*

Aragorn: Thanks Frodo. What's happening behind me is.well its too graphic to even begin to describe.

Legolas: You can say that again.

Frodo: How did this all start? Ooo. That's gotta hurt!

Aragorn: Yeah. I'm sure it does. Well to tell the truth I think it happened after Elrond announced he was a cross dresser. It all went downhill from there.

Legolas: How are you protecting yourself from everything?

Aragorn: Well, when I have my handy little sword Anduril nearby I'm all set to face.well anything.

Frodo: The wizard's little toys are quite busy, aren't they?

Aragorn: Yes, the Uruk Hai are doing the things they do best. Killing innocents and eating each other.

Legolas: Would this have been a lost cause without all the reinforcements?

Aragorn: Yes it would have.

*Scene flashes to the one of Aragorn tossing Gimli into the Uruk Hai.*

Frodo: Tossing people is not very nice Aragorn!

*Buzz.*

Christina: Where are you Aragorn?

Aragorn: Helm's Deep?

Christina: You are correct! 600 points to you all, even to Sam, just because I am feeling generous.

~Chapter 4-Scenes From A Hat~

Christina: Okay for the next game we are going to do Scenes From A Hat!

*Pulls out three-cornered hat.*

Christina: At the beginning of the show we asked the audience for scene suggestions and we picked the best ones and put them in the hat. The first one is: What you think the audience is thinking right now?

Sam: I have to pee!

Aragorn: *Pulls off teenage girl air.* Those guys are just sooo funny.

Legolas: That Legolas is hot.

*Girls cheer and he just rolls his eyes again.*

Frodo: Legolas you big-headed hottie. You know everyone wants you. But anyways on to me. How about I wonder if he wears contacts.

Aragorn: My wife needs to stop giving Legolas googly eyes.NOW!

Sam: I didn't know that hobbits were THAT short.

*Buzz.*

Christina: How you tell a kid about the Lord of the Rings.

Aragorn: This bully who would go by the name Sauron would send his little friends out to pick on others.

Sam: So this bad little boy Sauron stole all the blocks from the other little boys and girls.

Frodo: In preschool this kid Sauron made this Ring out of playdoh. Then he thought he could control us all with it. The weird thing is that it worked.

*Buzz.*

Christina: Newspaper headlines.

Aragorn: Ring drowned, King crowned!

Frodo: Gollum: A Life of Fissshesssss.

Legolas: Dwarf women a myth. Details inside.

*Gimli in crowd: Hey!*

Sam: Gandalf the Grey, or is it White?

*Buzz.*

Christina: Speak of the devil! The next one is Gandalf's secret diary entries.

*A big ooooo from the audience.* Aragorn: I should bang that stupid fool of a Took's head on a rock! Though it probably wouldn't hurt him!

*Pippin in the audience pouts as Merry taunts him.*

Legolas: I stole Saruman's color! Nah nah nah nah nah nah!!!!

Sam: Should I shave my beard? NO! It makes me look ominous!

Frodo: Maybe I SHOULD have turned Sam into a spotted toad.

*Buzz.*

Christina: Wonderful, a million points to you all and when we come back I will announce a winner.

~Chapter 5-Hoedown~

Christina: Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyways? Today's winners are Aragorn and Frodo.

*Crowd cheers.*

Christina: For the last game we are going to do a Hoedown. Any suggestions?

*People call out random things.*

Vacations

Hobbits

The President

Food

Christina: Hobbits!

*Frodo and Sam exchange a nervous glance.*

Christina: Now Frodo, Sam that's not necessarily a bad thing. Remember I like hobbits and if I could I would be one! Oops. did I just say that out loud!!!

*Looks around nervously and Frodo and Sam give her strange looks, which she ignores.*

Christina: Ok, um, Frodo or Aragorn decide who wants to sing and who wants to sit at my seat.

*Christina joins Aragorn, Sam, and Legolas, while Frodo sits behind the desk.*

Christina: Ok! Lets do the Hobbit Hoedown with the assistance of Eowyn on the keyboard.

*The Hoedown music starts.*

Legolas:

From the first time I heard of the hobbits four.

I realized they were only three feet off the floor.

Traveling with hobbits will always give you a thrill.

Especially that one time when Pippin took a spill.

*Everyone starts laughing and Merry taunts Pippin (again!)

Sam:

I am a hobbit, proud to admit to it.

Smoking Old Toby and planting quite a bit.

We are very pleased to be simply the way we are.

Filling our faces and getting drunk at the local bar.

*The 4 do-si-do around the stage.*

Aragorn:

Hobbits are strange, that much is true.

Of the world's happenings, most don't have a clue.

Little did they know that Frodo would save them all.

Now that we have won this war, I want to have a ball.

Christina:

From that one time I read the first Tolkien book.

I learned of the fateful Baggins and that one crazy Took.

And I always loved Frodo's gorgeous eyes.

If only he was taller I would want to date the guy.

All: Want to date the gguuuuuuyyyyyy

*Christina starts blushing madly and so does Frodo. Christina can be heard muttering "Me and my big mouth!" The rest of the audience (and Fellowship) is getting a kick over it and laughing their heads off. Finally Christina regains her composure, but doesn't make eye contact with anything but the camera. *

Christina: Thank you for watching Whose Line Is It Anyways? And just next time for.*Thinks a moment* um just next time. Goodbye.

~Chapter 6 -Let's Make A Date ~

Announcer: This is Whose Line Is It Anyways?

*crowd cheers*

Announcer: Once again with your author and host Christina B.

*More applause as Christina waves from her desk. Seated next to her at the desk is a female hobbit.*

Christina: Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyways? The game show where the points don't matter. They matter as much as Gimli's piece of Galadriel's hair. Tonight's show is hobbit night, because as you all know I'm obsessed over hobbits.

*The hobbit next to Christina inches away a little. Christina turns and rolls her eyes at her. *

Christina: Not you Meg. Anyways since this is hobbit night, Aragorn and Legolas will not be improvising.

*Screams from angry fans.*

Christina: Chill out people they are still here...they have to be here since we are have already paid them. Aragorn is now our keyboardist and Legolas will be doing the drums.

*Crowd settles down and Meg gives Christina a dumbfounded look.*

Meg: Is that the REAL Legolas?

*Christina nods, and Meg gives a quick glance at him. Legolas smiles at her and she faints. Christina rolls her eyes.*

Christina: That was my hobbit friend Meg. She's very um excitable. Since we have a bunch of hobbits tonight, I asked her to join me at the desk today as my assistant.

*Another female hobbit in the crowd yells out.*

Hobbit: What about me? Don't you like me too? Meg and I are joined at the hip you know! *pouts*

Christina: Shut up Lily. Lily and Meg are the female version of Merry and Pippin, quite hyper. And Lily feels a little left out, maybe next time.

Lily: But there won't be a next time!

*Meg wakes up*

Meg: What happened?

Christina: You fainted

Meg: Why did I...*sees Legolas* oh

Lily: Haha Meg, you fainted on national um website thing.

Meg: At least I don't get lost every two seconds.

Lily: Hey!

Christina: Ok knock it off you two. They are so much like Merry and Pippin it's scary.

Merry: We take offense to that.

*Pippin looks confused but nods anyways.* Christina: Can it you two or you won't get that lifetime supply of mushrooms.

Pippin: Mushrooms, did you say mushrooms?

Christina: Later Peregrin. Obviously Merry and Pippin, are filling in Aragorn and Legolas' spots on the panel. And I'm supposed to give some funny description of everyone, but since SOME people *Eyes Lily, Meg, Pippin, and Merry* decided to argue, we don't have time for that. So lets get right into our first game, Let's Make A Date. Since we have all guys, Pippin will be the pretend girl trying to pick a date from the three bachelors.

Sam: But I'm not a bachelor!

Christina: You are today. Anyways, Pippin will have to figure out the mysterious identities about each of the bachelors.

*The four hobbits get out their stools and Merry, Frodo and Sam grab their cards and read them.*

Meg: *To Christina* Can I ring the buzzer?

Christina: MY BUZZER! That's my favorite job..maybe later. *winces*

Lily: *Whispers to Meg* Are you going to let her stop you?

Meg: Do I ever?

Christina: You know I can hear everything you are saying. Hobbits sure whisper loudly.

*Lily and Meg pout, but then as Christina turns her head Meg smiles a mischievous smile at Lily.*

Christina: You know, I never had this much grief when you two weren't around, yet I will admit it will never get dull.

*Lily and Meg stand up and bow.*

Christina: Ok that's enough. Take it away Pippin.

Pippin: *In girly voice that makes everyone shudder.* Bachelor #1, where would we go on our first date.

*Screen flashes SMEAGOL-GOLLUM in front of Sam.*

Sam: Takessss me to the place where the precioussssss livessss. Thatssssss where hobbitsesssss

Pippin: Ok, you need to stop talking like a snake. Bachelor #2, same question.

*Screen flashes ELF WITH EGO across Merry. He puffs out his chest and looks condescendingly to Pippin.*

Merry: Why would I take you, a simple-minded hobbit anywhere. Oh yes! I forgot you mere mortals just like to fawn over me. You may do so, just at a distance.

Pippin: That was rude! Bachelor #3, what will you give me on our first date.

*Screen flashes ON TOO MUCH CAFFINE across the screen.*

Frodo: Date hehe I'm going on a date! Woohoo!!!! *Frodo stands on his chair and spreads his hands open wide. I'm king of the world!! Mwahahaha!!!!

Pippin: That's enough Bachelor #3...#1 would you give me everything you owned, just to see me happy.

Sam: I will getssssss you all the fisssshesss that you can eats, but the preciousssss issss MINE! My ownssesss!!!!

Pippin: Bachelor #2, would you give me a puppy all of my own.

Merry: *Looks annoyed.* Why would I give YOU something. I must save all I have for my fine hair care products. Plus I refuse to buy a fleabag!

Pippin: *Acts like he's crying.* Can you be anymore insensitive!

Merry: Want me to try?

Pippin: Bachelor #3, would you always love me forever and ever.

Frodo: Sure thing doll face. *hops up and down on his chair. Then he jumps off and runs to Meg who eyes him warily.* Hehehe, don't I have a pretty sword! *Pulls out Sting in front of Meg's face, she faints.*

Christina: *Slaps Frodo in the face, making him give her a dumbfounded look.* Frodo, do I have to call security on you?

Frodo: I was just getting into character.

Christina: Next time when you get into character don't use swords.

*All of a sudden they hear a loud squeak. Christina turns to look at Meg, who had been woken up by Legolas and was now blushing furiously, especially when Legolas smiled at her. As Legolas goes back to his drum set, Lily starts laughing and pointing at Meg. Meg looks about ready to kill Lily.*

Christina: Knock it off you two, anyways have a clue who everyone is?

Pippin: Um.Sam is Gollum?

Christina: Yep!

Pippin: Merry is.an elf?

*Legolas makes a sound in his throat and folds his arms like he's insulted.*

Christina: A better description please.

Pippin: Um..is he Legolas?

*Legolas grips his bow, but with a glance at Christina he stops.* Christina: What does this elf act like?

Pippin: Uh.like he has a big ego?

Christina: There you go...took you long enough.

Pippin: Hey!

Christina: What about Frodo?

Pippin: Um, a drunk guy?

Christina: Nope

Pippin: He's hyper?

Christina: Close enough, it's he had too much caffine.

Pippin: Oh.

*BUZZZZZZZZZ*

Christina: Meg, I told you its MY job to press the buzzer, you just..assist in um other ways.

Meg: Like?

Christina: Do you want to clean a toilet?

Meg: No thanks.

Christina: Then drop it, and no touching my buzzer!

Meg: OK, I promise. *Crosses her fingers behind her back, and Lily has to stifle a laugh.*

Christina: Moving on.

~Chapter 7 -Questions Only~

Christina: The next game we are doing is a..

*All of a sudden a loud scream came from Meg who also jumped.*

Christina: What is wrong Meg?

Meg: An ant was on me!

Christina: Was it red?

Meg: No

Christina: They stop interrupting my show!

Meg: Sorry.

Lily: Haha, you are afraid of ants!

Meg: Can it Lily before I set one of Shelob's kids on you!

Lily: Hey!

Christina: Stop it now!

Lily: Why?

Christina: Cause you're supposed to listen to me...I invited you!

Meg: Actually I invited her, you gave me two tickets remember!

Christina: But I did give you tickets. And Lily wouldn't be here if I didn't give you tickets.

Meg: Aren't you supposed to start the next game Christina, not argue with Lily.

Christina: Shut up Meg, ok the next game is Questions Only. This is for the four of you. First up is Sam and Frodo. Ask as many questions as you can based on the subject I give you and when you get stumped Merry or Pippin will step in. Your scene is at a theme park. Let's make it Cedar Point. *Gets goofy expression on face* Cedar Point is the best!

Lily: *to Meg* What is Cedar Point?

Meg: Oh I know its cedar with a point.

Lily: A cedar point is a theme park?

Meg: I guess so.

*Christina rolls her eyes.* Start please, before they lower our IQs!

*Lily and Meg shoot her scary hobbit looks that Christina fails to notice. They start whispering.*

Frodo: Have you ever been to Cedar Point before Sam?

Sam: *Shakes his head* Have you?

Frodo: Do you want to ride the tallest and fastest coaster in the world?

Sam: What's it called?

Frodo: Is it called the Top Thrill Dragster or Dragster Thrill?

Sam: I'm not sure Mr. Frodo.

*BUZZ and Merry steps forward.*

Merry: Do you like this ride?

Frodo: How would I know?

Merry: Have you ridden it before?

Frodo: No I..oops!

*BUZZ and Pippin steps forward to face Merry*

Pippin: Do they sell mushrooms anywhere?

Merry: Do you want to try that interesting mushroom growing on that French fry?

Pippin: Is it tasty?

Merry: Do you think it might be poisonous?

Pippin: Can you hand one to me?

Merry: Is it normal to see 20 Pippins?

Pippin: Do you feel like you head might explode?

*BUZZ*

Christina: Only those two would get completely off the subject!

Meg: What about us?

Christina: What about you?

Lily: We always get off the subject! Way more times than them! *points at Merry and Pippin*

Merry/Pippin: Hey! Meg: She's right, we the most mixed up,craziest duo ever!

Pippin: Nu uh

Meg: Yes huh

Pippin: Nu uh

Meg: Yes huh

Christina: Ok that is enough, when we return these hobbits will be under control..I hope