“You look lovely darling,” the mirror assured her.
“I look like a child playing dress-up in her mother’s robes…” Morgan said as she surveyed herself.
“Hmpf! Last time I checked seventeen was still considered a child… there’s no getting around that.”
Morgan worried her bottom lip between her teeth. She knew that Madam Malkin had done a lovely job on the dress robes and that they certainly made her look well-dressed enough to be the perfect little ornament for her husband’s arm that night… but it didn’t make her feel any better.
“I take it you remember how you will be expected to behave?” Snape asked as he joined her.
Morgan nodded mutely as she remembered the last death eater function she had attended with him. She suddenly found herself feeling very cold. “Do I have to go with you?” she couldn’t help asking.
Snape frowned at her, “if you intend on asking me that every time…”
“I’m sorry I can’t seem to enjoy their company the way you do!” she spat angrily as she turned on him. She was trembling from a combination of fear and anger and hopelessness, which only increased as her husband crossed the room to stand in front of her. Dear lord… he’s going to strike me… She squeezed her eyes shut as she turned her head away.
“You seem to enjoy walking a very thin line.”
“Expressing a dislike of spending my time with death eaters hardly seems to be pushing any limits,” she said slowly as she raised her eyes to look at her irate husband.
“You seem determined to learn the hard way. But you will learn your place eventually, even if I must break that damnable Gryffindor spirit of yours first.”
“You will never break me,” she hissed through clenched teeth.
“I’ve broken any number of women for the dark lord, a child such as yourself should not prove to be too much of a challenge.”
Morgan clenched her hands into tight fists, “Never!”
“Dammit! You will do your duty whether you wish to or not, even if I have to hex you into doing so!”
“I… I…” Morgan felt a sob catch in her throat and she quickly turned away again as tears formed in her eyes. I can’t do this! I can’t go back! Not after the way I was treated the last time. Not after how I was watched, and talked about like I wasn’t there. Not after the way they touched and groped me as though I were an object or a piece of livestock bought for breeding. “I can’t!” the last came out as a strangled cry as images filled Morgan’s mind. She felt herself retch and if she hadn’t had an empty stomach she would have been sick.
She tried to fight off the hands that closed roughly around her shoulders, but she was too disoriented and too upset. She was vaguely aware of being pushed down into a chair.
“Take deep breaths,” Severus instructed her in a firm voice as he pushed her head down between her knees. “Breathe Morgan,” he growled as he tried to get through to his wife who was nearly in hysterics.
Morgan was barely aware of her husband’s deep voice coming through as she tried to follow his instructions.
“You are going to pass out if you do not start breathing Morgan,” Severus used the tone he took with students in his classroom, “you need to calm down.”
Morgan took one unsteady breath, and then another. She slowly evened them out and became aware of her surroundings again. Particularly the firm hand at her back and the way there were hands there to steady her as she sat back up, still shaking slightly.
“That was a pretty little panic attack,” Snape remarked in an unreadable tone of voice as he stood up from where he had been kneeling on the floor.
“I’m sorry,” Morgan whispered as she looked down at the ground, wishing it would just open up and swallow her. She sniffed as several tears fell.
Severus swallowed the harsh words that had been on his tongue. Kneeling in front of his young wife once again he gently cupped her chin in one work worn hand, forcing her to look at him, “I know you do not wish to accompany me, but it is necessary.”
“Please, don’t make me,” she pleaded in a soft voice.
“I wish I did not have to.”
Morgan looked into her husband’s eyes and was shocked by the regret she saw in them. He may not love her, but she realized that he did care about her in some way, even if it was only the desire to protect a lost child. She suddenly wanted to do something that she never had before, and acting before she could stop herself, she practically threw her arms around his neck as she sobbed against his shoulder.
Severus was shocked to suddenly find his wife clinging to him when she had spent most of her energy since their marriage trying to avoid his touch. Not knowing what to do with her he moved one hand to awkwardly stroke her hair and tentatively rested the other at her waist, not knowing if she would pull away or not. Knowing that they didn’t have much time left to get ready he gently pushed Morgan away from him once her tears seemed to have abated, “clean yourself up,” he directed in a stern tone, “we will leave as soon as I’ve changed, now that you’ve soaked this set of robes through.”
“Severus?” Morgan looked up at him with large eyes. Suddenly realizing that no matter how much she didn’t want to have anything to do with the death eaters, she had to. It was necessary for their very existence that this charade be pulled off.
“What is it?” Snape tried to control his voice so he did not yell at his already emotionally exhausted wife. He did not need her breaking down on him again.
“Thank you,” she whispered so softly that he almost didn’t catch it.
Severus gave her a curt nod of acknowledgement before turning away.