“Viviane?!” he was far more desperate now. He jumped over the debris on the floor and flung open the bedroom door. She wasn’t there either. It was getting very hard to breathe.
“Colin?”
He recognized Arthur’s voice. He bolted back into the living room, nearly falling over his own feet in the process. “Have you seen Viviane?!” he caught hold of the door frame to keep from skidding into the ousted Minister of Magic.
“Easy there,” Arthur offered him a steadying hand. “She’s just over with Molly having a cup of tea.”
Colin felt his pulse starting to return to normal and his chest wasn’t feeling quite so restricted. “I just thought… with the way the apartment is…” he gestured to the ruin of the living room.
Arthur smiled weakly, “that’s her story to tell. I’ve only heard bits and pieces of it, but I think that Molly has gotten the entire story out of her by now.
Colin nodded dumbly. Now that he had far less to panic about he wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself.
“Maybe you’d like to come next door and fetch your wife. I’m sure she would like your support right now…” Arthur prodded.
“Right,” Colin shook himself and followed Arthur out into the hallway and to his and Molly’s apartment. He hadn’t even crossed the threshold before a sobbing Viviane had thrown herself into his arms. He hesitated a fraction of a second before wrapping his arms around her in return. He mouthed his thanks to Molly, who was in tears herself, before steering his wife back to their own rooms. She was such an inconsolable mess that he ended up lifting her in his arms and carrying her across their now treacherous living room determined to put her straight to bed. He could get information later if he needed to. Even if this was because his mother-in-law had finally… he stopped that thought, he was far more concerned about his wife at the moment. He could only imagine the sort of news that would prompt this response from her.
He methodically stripped her and wrestled her into a nightgown before trying to tuck her under the covers.
Viviane slapped at him as he continued to fuss over her, “I’m fine… just a little upset is all…”
“Umm-hmm… a little upset doesn’t justify the storm that hit our living room. Don’t even try that one on me.”
Viviane sighed, “well, sit down,” she wiped at the last of her tears, “this may take awhile… and stop looking at me like that! I promise I will be fine.”
“Your mother…?”
“The same. She’s still the same…” Viviane tried to push that thought away for the moment, otherwise she would never get through this. There were only so many painful thoughts one could bring to the forefront at a time.
“Well?” he sat down on the bed and took her in his arms. He took her hands in his, feeling how cold they were. And she was shaking. He wasn’t sure if it was because she was chilled or if she was that upset.
“I’ve finally had it out with my father… really had it out. He threw me out…” she felt Colin’s arms tighten around her and rolled her eyes, “not literally, honestly… but he made it perfectly clear that I am not allowed back under his roof, which includes Hogwarts… ever.” She took a deep breath to steady herself. “Which means that he doesn’t want me visiting Mum…”
“From the beginning?” Although he could imagine Severus Snape doing something like that, he would have never actually imagined him doing something like this.
“Minerva owled me, she’s concerned about Olivia. Apparently it’s been days since Dad has even seen her. He’s left her entirely in the hands of House Elves and Draco Malfoy. No one can even confirm that she’s been eating three times a day, let alone getting to bed at a certain time or anything else… Minerva wants to guarantee that Olivia will be taken care of, and I don’t blame her. I never thought that Dad would fall to negligence…
“Apparently Aunt Graine already asked Dad if Olivia could come stay with her at Minerva’s prompting. Minerva has no idea what the response was to her offer, but Graine told her that she wasn’t even going to try to ask him again… so she asked me to look into it, figured I’d be in a little bit of a better position to do the asking and to actually get results…” She rested her head on Colin’s shoulder, relaxing slightly as she tried to distance herself from the situation. She sighed deeply.
“I take it your offer was not appreciated.”
“It was not.” Viviane stretched out her legs, “I waited around for hours for him to come back from… wherever it is that he’s been spending his time. And I told him that I was worried Olivia wasn’t getting the attention she needs, so I would be perfectly willing to let her come live with us for awhile. He just glared at me… like he was insulted that I even dared to suggest he wasn’t handling everything as well as he could be… basically, an argument erupted. You know what our tempers are like…”
Colin was smart enough to keep his mouth shut and not comment on the Snape family temper. He didn’t particularly want it aimed in his direction. And with his wife in the temper she was in, and with all she’d been through that day, her temper was most likely balancing on a very precarious edge. He had absolutely no intention of doing anything to tempt it.
“And then, right at the height of the argument, we pulled our wands on each other,” she gave a short bark of laughter that almost had a touch of madness behind it, “I actually thought he was going to hex me…” the laughter dissolved into tears as she buried her face in her hands. “I was scared for a moment… I just froze, standing there with his wand pointed on me. I don’t think I could have come up with a single spell of my own if I had needed to… and then… then he just lowered his wand, told me to get out and not come back. Well… that’s the shortened version. You don’t need to hear everything that was said…”
Colin set his jaw in a hard line, “I think I’d like to hear everything that was said.” Father or no, no one had any excusable reason for treating his wife like that. That it was family that had done this to her… that made it even worse. He was angry. Although he was usually very slow to anger, once he was at that level, he could rival any of the Snapes.
“And I think I’d like to keep you around for awhile, and not get your fool head blasted off because you have some archaic notion that you have to defend my honor. I just… I never realized that Mum was the only thing holding our family together…”
~~~~~~~~~
“Mr. Malfoy?” Olivia dragged her fork through the syrup on her plate, drawing pictures in it as she pushed bits of pancake around. She’d tried to explain to Misty that she didn’t feel well, but wasn’t sick. The House Elf hadn’t understood. She didn’t know if her tutor could make her feel better. She hoped so, because she felt like he was the only one she had left. She’d witnessed the argument between her father and Viviane the night before, and had spent a sleepless night curled up with Tristan wishing that she could just disappear. She didn’t like that she was making people unhappy. She’d caused her father and her sister to fight, and now Viviane could never come back…
“What is it Olivia?” Draco was trying to make sure she ate her breakfast, but she’d been such the little chatterbox lately that he had to remind her to keep eating. He had a feeling this would be one of those days. The funny thing was, he didn’t really mind. The Gryffindors, and other Houses beside his own, that he had gone to school with would be shocked. His fellow Slytherins wouldn’t have. He’d developed a knack during his last few years as a student for looking out for the younger ones. It was because he’d been trying to emulate Snape as much as possible.
It was a bitter pill to swallow, realizing he was filling a vacant hole because the man he idolized was no longer acting in such an imitation worthy manner. In some ways he resented it. But he also knew that he owed it to Snape, for all that he had ever done for him. If it hadn’t been for the Potions Master… he shuddered to think about what could have become of him, of what most certainly would have been his fate if he had blindly followed his father’s example.
There were many who were in the same situation as him, who owed their lives to Snape. Not just their lives, their way of living. He’s saved at least two generations of Slytherins now. It was funny, the other Houses continued to ostracize the Slytherins, but they were, or had been, the only House who had someone actively trying to save its members from their own families.
“I’m sorry,” he realized that he had been ignoring his charge. However easily it was to get lost in the past he tried to avoid it. But the past was the only place he had to conjure up happy memories from. Then he had had friends and a Housemaster who was the best parent he could ask for. Now he was alone, always alone, even in the company of others. “What did you say?”
“Why doesn’t Daddy love me anymore?”
Draco nearly spit out his tea and had to swallow quickly, “your father loves you,” he automatically responded, although it took him a few seconds to regain his composure enough to do even that.
“No he doesn’t…” Olivia dropped her fork. “Is it my fault that he doesn’t love me anymore?”
“Your father is just under a lot of stress right now. I’m sure that he will be back to his normal self before too long,” Draco felt bad for lying to her. But what else was he supposed to do? He couldn’t tell her that her father was being selfish and wallowing in his own grief. He didn’t know what to do for her. She was just as alone as he was. And then a brilliant idea struck him. He was incredibly proud to have thought of it, “if there is something your father would normally do, but can’t right now, why don’t you tell me what it is and I’ll try to fill in. Just for the time being, until he’s back to normal. I know he wants to be with you, but he has to watch over your mother now,” there, the truth stretched just a little bit, but a commitment to do what he could to make it better. She deserved it.
Olivia shrugged, “can I go play now?”
Draco sighed, “I suppose,” he watched her go and gave her a few minutes to get a head start, intending on following her to make sure she didn’t come to any harm. But by the time he went looking for her he couldn’t find her. He knew there were any number of places in the castle and on the grounds where she could be, and it would be nearly impossible for him to find her, so he tried not to worry too much. Instead, he went to the library to research tracking spells. He intended to place one on her, as soon as possible. He was taking his new responsibility very seriously. It gave him a new sense of direction and purpose in life. Two things he had not had in a very long time. He welcomed their presence. He once again felt as though he had a purpose.
While he contemplated what he could do to keep Olivia safe and well, she was down by the lake. She had friends there. The pretty lady braided her hair, something that only her mother and Viviane had done for her before, while the man told her funny stories, trying to make her laugh.
“We have a debt to repay,” the lady whispered to her companion as Olivia looked for smooth stones so that she could continue learning how to skip them, “I intent to make sure that we pay it in full.” She watched Olivia playing along the shoreline, where ice still clung to the rocks and frosted most of the lake. But she didn’t feel the cold now, “I owe it to my family. I will repay the debt…”
~~~~~~~~~
Severus sat alone in his office. He had reduced three third year Hufflepuffs to tears the hour before. He might have been a bit harsh in his criticism of their work and in his reprimand when he stopped them from adding the lacewing flies before an accident could occur. But he wasn’t about to let the lot of them destroy his classroom do to a failure to follow instructions. He was so well versed in his job that he noticed everything that his students did, even now. He just did not take the care he usually did to make sure that feelings remained unhurt. Not that he was overzealous on that account on a normal basis. But now, he did not have the time or energy to waste on preserving the feelings of his students. Even his Slytherins had looked distressed during the class. “What have I done?” he asked himself. But he wasn’t referring to the atmosphere that he had created in his classroom.
He pulled out a picture that he kept locked in his desk drawer. He would never risk his reputation by displaying it in his office. It had never been in his nature to do so. He looked down into Morgan’s face as she smiled and winked back up at him. Taken just a couple of years after they were married, she looked so young, and happy… Viviane looked exactly like her, and he had just cut her out of his life. He wasn’t sure which one would be more painful. The fact that he had completely detached himself from the one person who so truly looked like Morgan, so that even if his wife died, he could still see her face… or what it would be like to keep seeing Viviane, to keep seeing Morgan in her… and knowing that it was all gone now. To be constantly reminded of what he had had…
And then there was Olivia… she had asked him to read her a story last night. And he had said ‘no’ far more harshly than he had intended. But he just… couldn’t. He couldn’t go on as though Morgan wasn’t lying there up in the Hospital Wing. He just couldn’t. He had done as much as he could, making sure that he kept her here. It would be what Morgan wanted, he was sure of it. What would she think of him if he sent Olivia away because he could not care for her on his own? He had made sure that Misty knew to look after her, and of course there was Draco. He trusted the younger man to make sure that his daughter was looked after. It was all he could do, and it was for the best… he wasn’t sending her away, but he was not subjecting her to his presence either. Yes, it was the best he could do. He was sure of it.
He put the picture away. He couldn’t bear to look at it anymore. But he kept torturing himself with it anyway. He wished the fates were kinder. If they were he could be holding Morgan in his arms right now, enjoying another night with her, knowing that he didn’t deserve her, but knowing that she loved him just the same. Instead she was barely hanging onto life.
If the fates were kinder he wouldn’t value his life at so little. But he didn’t realize that. The image he saw of himself was distorted. The mirror reflected only the outside façade, the mask he had put on for the world. It never showed his potential… It never showed the man that Morgan saw.
His mind was firmly set. The world was lost to him. Minerva had tried insisting that all he needed was time. That was a cruel joke. All he had now was time. A never ending stretch of it. Empty time, now that Morgan was not able to fill it. His loss was comparable to what it would be to suddenly lose the ability to breathe. One truly didn’t realize the value of what they had until it was gone. But now that it was gone… he truly felt that loss.
“Daddy?” Olivia poked her head in the door to her father’s office. And seeing him there smiled, although not as widely as she used to, before rushing to his side. “Daddy, do you want to come see what I did today? Mr. Malfoy took me up to the top of one of the towers and I…”
“Not now child,” he cut her off. He felt the slightest twinge of guilt as Olivia’s face fell. But it was better this way, better that she feel disappointment over a lack of attention than for the sort of attention he felt capable of giving her now. He could keep her safe, he knew that he could, and that was all that mattered now.
“Oh… ok…” Olivia chewed on her bottom lip as she shifted from one foot to the other, “will you come tuck me in tonight?”
“I have to patrol tonight, child. Some other time…”
“Ok…” Olivia paused for a split second before turning and fleeing back to her own room. She didn’t mention that she had retrieved her toy cauldron earlier in the day and had played with it, almost hoping that he would catch her, at least it would have been attention of some sort. Right now she would have been happy for anything, even if he would just get angry at her. She didn’t understand it, but she knew that she wanted to at least be acknowledged in some way.
After Olivia left Severus roused himself enough to grade a stack of essays before meeting Black for their patrol. As usual, he was not impressed with the work that his students put forth. Normally he would have contemplated what it would to get through their thick skulls. But now, he didn’t give it much additional thought, just accepted it as an everyday occurrence.
One thing did catch his attention, if only for a brief moment before he pushed it away. Dierna’s work had slowly been slipping in quality. He thought briefly about confronting her about it, but settled for scrawling ‘not up to your usual standards’ and a much lower than normal grade across the top of it in red ink, before rising from his chair to meet Black.
He hoped he didn’t have to listen to anymore incessant prattling from the man tonight. Black was convinced that the teacher who had taken Morgan’s place, he vaguely remembered her being introduced to him, Professor MacLeod he believed it was, and Aagensen were in league together. Somehow connected to Voldemort and spies within the school. He didn’t see it… of course he hadn’t been looking very closely of late either…
~~~~~~~~~~
