Viviane had never been so grateful to have Colin there, his arm wrapped around her waist to hold her up, whispering words of comfort that she couldn’t quite register against her hair. She felt guilty about how she had treated him recently. But she couldn’t quite get over her independent streak. She was determined to handle things on her own, but he wouldn’t let her. And she loved him desperately for it.
“Alright, let’s go,” Colin had a canvas rucksack thrown over his shoulder. He held out his hand and gently squeezed his wife’s fingers as she took it. “One day at a time darling, we’ll get through this yet,” he assured her softly. He had become her rock in a sea of indecisiveness and regret. It was a job he took seriously.
“I wish he would let me take Olivia…” Viviane fretted as Colin helped her slip her cloak around her shoulders. He even fastened it for her and made sure that the worst wrinkles were smoothed out.
“What did he say when you asked about it?” Colin knew that his wife had confronted her father about her youngest sister and it had not gone well. As much as he wanted to look out for Viviane, he was glad he hadn’t been present for that conversation. He had no desire to cross Severus Snape. Especially with what he must be feeling at a time like this.
“Not much,” Viviane sighed as she tried to locate her gloves. It would be a bit of the walk up to the school after they apparated and she didn’t want to be cold. “He just told me to leave well enough alone. But I can’t imagine that it’s good for her to be there. Dierna and Serena still have school to keep up with and I know that Dad isn’t looking after her like he should. He is so self consumed at times that he makes things worse than they should be!” She swallowed down the bitter tears that were threatening again. It wasn’t as though they did any good.
“It’s always hard to realize that your parents aren’t quite the people you thought them to be. They have faults as well,” Colin reminded her.
“I know. I just wish I didn’t feel the responsibility to fix all of those faults.” She wrapped her arms around Colin’s waist, “let’s just go. Standing here and worry about it won’t fix a thing.” They disapparated together. It was easier that way. The horrible feeling of disembodiment and the spinning sensation of it tended to throw Viviane off balance and she was likely to end up in a heap if there wasn’t someone there to hold her up on the other end.
There trudge up to the school was a silent one, both of them knowing that there could be much pleasanter ways to spend their Christmas. But they didn’t have any choice in the matter. They met Kamen partway through their walk and the three of them continued on in silent companionship until they reached the entrance to the school.
“I got something for Olivia,” Kamen broke the silence, “I figured we should do our best to make this as… normal… as possible for her. It’s been nearly a year since…” he tried to shrug off the cold but it was more than skin deep. “I know that we aren’t in the mood for any sort of celebration, but she should have something. I think she needs it. Someone should get at least a little bit of joy out of Christmas this year.”
“I’ll help you if you want,” Viviane said as she reached for Kamen’s hand.
“Help me with what?”
Viviane looked down. Both to keep her tears from showing and to watch her footing on the uneven steps leading down to her parents’ quarters. “I know you haven’t told Olivia exactly what is going on, and she doesn’t need all the details, but she needs to know the truth. I’ve already fulfilled my part of our agreement, but I’ll help you with yours if you want.”
Kamen sighed, “should we do it tonight?”
“Might as well,” she squeezed his hand. She had always been relatively close to her siblings, except for Olivia, who she just hadn’t spent time with, but this had pulled them all even closer together. At the first landing they met Dierna, and the four of them continued on together. Other than Dierna mumbling that Serena was already waiting for them down there they walked in silence.
“Kamen!” Olivia was the first one to greet them as they entered the living room. It was both a comforting and a painful place for them all to be. It was such a strong reminder of their mother, her personal touches were everywhere, softening the room that had formerly been their father’s alone.
“Hey kid!” Kamen caught Olivia as she threw herself into his arms. “I’ve got something for you, but I think we need to sit down and talk first.” He quickly shifted his eyes to Viviane, and she quietly confirmed that it was best to get this over with. Then they could go on, everything would be out in the open, or at least as much as Olivia needed to know… “right then.” He lowered himself onto the couch, Olivia still firmly attached to him. “Do you remember how we talked about how badly hurt Mum is?”
Olivia nodded solemnly.
Kamen looked to Viviane, who had sat down next to him, for support. When he locked eyes with her he finally realized part of the reason their father no longer spent any time with them in these rooms. Viviane was there now much of the time, and she looked exactly like their mother did in the pictures from her first few years as a married woman. There were almost no difference, put pictures of them side by side and they could be twins. He had a feeling it probably tore at his father’s heart. He wished that his father could see it as a blessing instead of a dagger, but he also knew that it wasn’t in his father’s nature.
“You said that Mum was hurt very badly and that she was sleeping so that she could get better. She will wake up, won’t she?” Olivia turned trusting eyes to each of her siblings in turn. But none of them would look at her. Dierna and Serena, who had settled on the floor by Kamen’s feet were staring at their hands. Kamen and Viviane were both watching each other, and Colin was staring into the fire, “won’t she?” she repeated, tugging on Kamen’s robe.
Kamen wished with all his heart that he could say yes. “Olivia, all of Madam Pomphrey’s tests say the same things. Mum is dying.”
“But we can still hope for a miracle, it’s always good to have hope,” Viviane added. She opened her arms to Olivia who crawled into her lap. She gently stroked Olivia’s dark curls as she sobbed in her arms, her own tears weren’t far behind. She could hear Dierna and Serena both sniffing, and Kamen was trying to hide her own tears. “We still have each other,” she asserted firmly, “and we all know that Mum loves us, no one can take that away from us.”
“She’s right,” Kamen quickly wiped at his eyes, “we still have each other. Here kid,” he handed Olivia a poorly wrapped package, the bow slightly askew.
Olivia kept her head on Viviane’s shoulder as she unwrapped the bracelet. Little rabbit charms hung from it. “I wish Mum would wake up for Christmas…”
They couldn’t know it, but several stories above them Morgan’s breathing was growing weaker as Severus kept watch by her side.
Viviane wrapped her arms around Olivia who was looking at her new bracelet through red-rimmed eyes. One by one she locked eyes with each of her siblings, all the while feeling Colin watching her. In the distance she heard the tower clock, high above their heads, chiming the hour. It was midnight. It was Christmas. Their father was ignoring them, leaving them to their own devices while he sat by their mother, whose hold on life was slowly fading. She began to hum as Olivia cuddled against her, softly at first, and then growing stronger, as she reached the verse she started to sing in a soft, but clear and true voice that somehow kept from catching:
“Through the years
We all will be together
If the fates allow
Hang a shining star
Upon the highest bough,
And have yourself
A Merry little Christmas now…”
She hoped the words to the song would be prophetic. She hoped that they would all be together.
~~~~~~~~~~
Christmas at Hogwarts was subdued that year. Minerva noticed that none of the Snapes appeared at the meals that day. She wished she could say it was because they were together. But she had already conformed from Poppy that it wasn’t so. The children had been to the hospital wing briefly, but it was Severus who remained there alone, keeping his vigil.
Poppy had also reported that Eric seemed to be doing as well as could be expected. But the injuries he had suffered would never really leave him. If he had been a younger man, in better health, he would have been able to make a full recovery. As it was… it was likely that he would never leave the hospital wing again. Minerva wasn’t thrilled about that prospect, and Poppy had firmly and consistently been expounding about what she thought of Eric staying in her hospital wing.
After much deliberation she had told the staff members who lived in Hogsmeade to not bother coming to the school today. It left them short a few hands if an attack came, but she doubted another one would come again so soon.
“I’m surprised to see the lot of them all up here today,” Poppy jerked her head in the direction of the Slytherin table. “There’s only about half of them that have families worth claiming anymore. The rest of them have either been disowned or are orphans. I would have thought that they would huddle together down in the dungeons today, not come up here. They’re really a sad looking group, aren’t they?”
Minerva looked at the Slytherin table. It was a tiny crowd, hardly any members remained in that House now. And they were silent this morning. Noticing the determined set of Mark McKean’s chin she had a feeling he was behind the attendance of the House in question. Despite her initial reservations he really had turned out to be an excellent choice for Head Boy. She realized that Poppy had been talking at her again, “I’m sorry Poppy, could you repeat that?”
“Can’t you order Severus out of my infirmary? He’s there almost all day and for at least several hours every night. He needs to take care of himself. Potions for alertness will only keep him going for so long, and I doubt he’s been eating much of anything. If you don’t do something about it you won’t have a Potions Master left. He’s determined to follow Morgan right into the grave.” She snorted, showing her clear distaste for that attitude. “It’s just not sensible. I never acted like this when I lost my Henry, I grieved and moved on. Not to say that every year hasn’t been painful, but I didn’t lose my head over it. You kept going when you lost your husband as well. Severus is so good at control, I would think that he could handle his grief, not let it control him.”
Minerva stirred cream into her tea thoughtfully, “but Morgan was the first person to ever truly love him. They have overcome more obstacles since their marriage than most people see in a lifetime, and Severus had faced even more on his own. She has kept him alive all these years, without her he doesn’t think that there is any reason to live… at least that is what Albus has been prattling to me about all week. He said he discussed it with one of the other portraits, someone who he said would understand Severus…”
“But what about the children? Aren’t they reason enough to keep going?” Poppy fretted over her tea. “His grief is no reason to ignore them.”
Minerva sighed, “I believe that he feels that since they are well provided for and since they have each other he has no reason to interfere. He really is infuriating at times.”
Poppy snorted, “he is infuriating, but I do still feel sorry for him. As much as he doesn’t deserve it at times. I have patients to see to.” She pushed away from the table and stalked back to her Hospital Wing. Between Severus lurking around the infirmly and Eric’s continued presence she felt in desperate need of a vacation… or possibly retirement.
She mentally went through her schedule for the rest of the day in her head. She would have to make sure that she had Severus out of the infirmary by seven o’clock that night, the children had requested a private visit with their mother. And Severus hanging over their shoulders, looking more miserable and dour than ever, did not make any of them feel better.
“I was wondering when you were going to come back,” Eric growled as soon as he caught sight of the mediwitch, “that last painkiller you gave me has completely worn off. Be a dear and give me something with opiates in it this time.” He drew on his pipe and blew out a ring of smoke, his attention on it as it drifted towards the ceiling instead of on Poppy.
“I don’t know how many times I have told you not to smoke that thing in here.” She marched over to him and snatched the pipe from his hand, “and I don’t know how you keep getting it back. I really am going to destroy it this time. And I am most certainly not giving you anything but the standard pain reliever I keep for the students. You’re already too much trouble as it is.”
Eric sighed heavily, “as you wish madam. Although I don’t know how you can expect me to recover if you deny me my little indulgences,” he gestured to the pipe that was now firmly gripped in Poppy’s hand, “please have a care with it, it is an antique.”
Poppy snorted as she placed the offending object down on the next bed and brought her unruly patient a beaker of sticky green pain relieving potion. She made sure he downed every drop, even if he grimaced as he did so. “Alright then, let me get back to work,” she held out her hand for the now empty beaker, but instead of handing it to her Eric grabbed her hand in his and pulled her closer to the bed.
“I know we continue to cross each other, but I do appreciate all your care and attention,” he raised her hand to his lips before releasing it.
Poppy blushed as prettily as any love struck fourth year as she reclaimed her hand. “You’re a horrible man!” but the words lacked their usual bite and she turned away from his bed just a little slower than she usually did. “Horrible man,” she muttered under her breath as she went about her business.
Eric smiled to himself as he watched her swish away in a swirl of skirts. He wasn’t sure if he was more amused by how angry she was about him smoking the pipe again or by how flustered the innocent kiss on her hand had made her. He suspected the first was more amusing, but the second was far more gratifying.
~~~~~~~~~~~
