However, something seemed a bit off with his students, and he wasn’t sure what it was. They had been huddled in a group by the door when he came out, and they had stayed huddled together even in the tropical conditions of the greenhouse. “Shall we get started then?” he asked as he rubbed his hands together, hoping that a bit of work would bring his students around.
“Elora didn’t come back,” One of the Ravenclaws finally said.
“Neither did Aurelius,” a nervous looking Hufflepuff added.
“A sixth year from our house,” Serena put in, “Drusilla.”
“A fifth year,” Mark added, scowling as he thought about the defection of his fellow Slytherin, it was like a wound left to fester, “Aquinas.”
Neville was silent for a moment, watching as his students hung their heads, all four houses united for a brief moment in their grief and anger over housemates who had made the decision, or possibly had the decision made for them, not to return to Hogwarts. It didn’t take much mental capacity to figure out where they had gone. Voldemort had a high need for Death Eaters.
“I think there will be a slight change in the lesson plans today,” Neville opened the door to the greenhouse again and ushered his students outside. He joined them after staring blankly at a large red bloom hanging above his head for what felt like an eternity, hoping for some sort of inspiration. He moved slowly as he shut the greenhouse door, making sure it was locked out of habit, and then sliding down the wall to sit, leaning up against it.
“Why did they leave?” Dierna finally asked.
“I can’t answer that,” Neville told her, “you’d have to ask a Death Eater, and even then you might not get an answer.” He caught the sudden movement out of the corner of his eye as Dierna and Serena turned to each other, he knew what they were thinking, “I would advise against it,” he told them, “from what I understand… and he never much liked me so that isn’t saying much… Dumbledore is the only person who ever got that story out of him.”
“They abandoned us,” one of the Hufflepuffs finally spat, “does loyalty mean nothing to them?! Hogwarts is…”
“Our home,” a Ravenclaw finished, “Didn’t they even think this through? What a horrible decision to make…”
“It’s the coward’s way out,” Mark said darkly as he glared at the ground. He picked up a rock and threw it as hard as he could at the lake.
“They’re the enemy now,” Serena said, tears filling her eyes, “we’re going to meet them in battle.”
Neville looked around the circle of seated students that had formed around him, and couldn’t help wondering why they had come to him for answers. Others would have filled them with dreams of hope and glory, Snape wouldn’t have answered as single question. The least he could do was give them honesty.
“Will we be asked to fight… or even… kill… our fellow students?” the Ravenclaw asked.
“I won’t harm a member of my own house!” the Hufflepuff declared.
“That’s just it,” Mark said as he heaved another rock at the lake, “they’re not your housemates anymore, they’re not Hogwarts students. They are Death Eaters.”
Silence reigned for the next several minutes. There were several sniffles from the girls and the boys were all glaring intently at the ground.
“You have to make your own decisions. No one, not your housemates, not your professors, not your family, should choose where your loyalties lie. I just hope that you make the right choice. You’ll probably not have a chance, or far too many chances, to regret it if you don’t.”
The students all stared at him, still looking hurt and lost. Not one of them daring to say anything. They were too torn.
“I think class is over for today,” he felt like he should at least assign some reading for their next class, but couldn’t bring himself to do so. “Go back to your Common Rooms, be with your housemates, and write to your parents. Keep your friends and loved ones as close as you can.” He didn’t need to add that if Voldemort struck before the Christmas holidays some of them would never see their parents again. They already knew that.
As he watched the 7th years head back towards the school, still huddled together in a tight knot, he couldn’t help wondering, and hoping, that in the midst of tragedy some of the barriers between the four houses might come down.
~~~~~~~~~~~
“You do it,” Dierna said as she tried to push Serena towards the door, “you’re supposed to be the responsible one now.”
Serena grabbed hold of the doorframe, holding herself in place, “no way. He’s just going to get angry, you go.”
“So it’s ok if he’s angry with me, but you don’t dare put yourself in danger… fine, I see how it is…”
Serena sighed, “that’s not what I meant. You can always claim that you wanted his advice on something potions related and then ease into the topic. I have no excuse for being down there.”
Dierna tried to remain strong, but could feel herself caving. Ever since Herbology that morning they had been discussing, whenever the opportunity arose, on how best to raise the subject of students who left school to become Death Eaters with their father. There didn’t seem to be any good way to do so and they were now arguing over who would have to do it. Not even their father’s assumed reaction of violent rage was going to stop them. They were too desperate.
“Please, I’ll let you copy my Transfiguration homework for a week,” Serena opted for bribery.
Dierna sighed, “fine, I’ll do it. But if all that’s left of me is what fits in a matchbox I’m holding you personally responsible.”
“Agreed, and I’ll give you the most spectacular funeral Hogwarts has ever seen. Plus I’ll scout out an excellent location for you to come back and haunt.”
“The boys side of the locker rooms,” Dierna said over her shoulder as she headed out the door of their dorm. She rushed through the Common Room to avoid any stops for conversation, if she didn’t go right now she was going to lose the courage. All too soon she found herself facing the door to her parents’ quarters. Before she could stop herself she took down the wards and stepped in.
“Is something wrong?” Severus set his papers aside and stood up to better observe his flushed daughter.
“I’m fine, just wanted to talk,” Dierna said as she tried to calm the way her heart was pounding. She was scared. Her parents never talked about their past encounters with Voldemort, she didn’t know what to expect.
Severus narrowed his eyes, quickly discerning that there was more going on here than Dierna was admitting, “sit down,” he gestured to a chair across from his own as he resumed his seat.
Dierna sank into the chair and stared firmly down at her hands, methodically twisting her robes between her fingers without really seeing what she was doing. She was so wrapped up in how to phrase her first question, and Severus was so intent on trying to figure out what his daughter was after that neither one of them heard Morgan quietly enter the room and take a seat by the wall.
“We didn’t really do much in Herbology today…”
“Is that commentary on Professor Longbottom’s teaching ability?”
“No,” Dierna let her eyes flicker upwards for a split second before firmly fixing her attention once again on her lap. “We… we talked about the students who chose not to return this year.”
Severus instantly stiffened.
“We were trying to figure out what could have possibly possessed them to leave, why they would want to become Death Eaters and join Voldemort. But we couldn’t figure it out. It’s just so…”
Dierna stammered for a minute before falling silent. She let her gaze flicker upwards once again. “I want to understand.”
“It is nothing you need concern yourself with child, go to bed.” Severus’ voice was tight, and overly controlled.
“Why did you become a Death Eater?”
There it was, out in the open. Morgan found herself holding her breath as she waited to see what her husband’s reaction would be. It was a question she had asked before, but had never received an answer.
“Go back to your Common Room Dierna,” Severus said, a bit harder this time.
“Why won’t you tell me?!” Dierna’s voice was shrill with emotion as she stood, hands balled into fists, “
“It is none of your concern!”
“It most certainly is my concern!” Dierna cursed the tears that had seemed to just appear, coursing down her face, “my boyfriend, who I love dearly, was nearly killed. My oldest sister has been forced to go into exile, hiding so that she can remain alive. Nimue is in Greece, because it is too dangerous for her here. We all know that Voldemort would like nothing better than to see you dead or worse. When did this stop being my concern?! When was it ever not my concern?!”
“Dierna, listen to me…”
“No, I am tired of listening. I’m scared Dad.” Dierna practically begged him with her eyes to do something, anything, to explain, to make her feel better, to tell her that it would all really be alright, even if it was a lie. “I’m bloody terrified. A girl, one year younger than me, didn’t come back to school this year. We all know why. She’s one of them now. She’s a Death Eater. What happens if my housemate, who I lived down the hall from for five years comes back here when Voldemort attacks? What happens when she aims her wand at someone I love, at someone I’ve seen everyday in the Great Hall?! I’m scared.”
“Go back to your Common Room.”
“So that’s it? You won’t tell me anything. I want to know why people I’ve sat in class with are now on the other side. What if...”
“The way a Death Eater’s mind works is nothing I ever want you to hear!” Severus wrapped his hands around Dierna’s upper arms and shook her in a rather non-gentle fashion. “It does not concern you and I never want to hear that question again. Is that understood?”
“What if more people go?”
Severus didn’t respond, but his eyes were darker than usual.
“Why did you become a Death Eater?” Dierna’s voice was soft. She wanted to understand. She needed to understand. It was all too horrible for her to comprehend on her own.
“I will not answer that.”
“But…”
“NO!” Severus released his hold on her and stormed out of the room, robes billowing behind him.
Dierna cringed as the door slammed shut. Her tears were coming harder now. She felt even more lost than before. And scared. And completely alone. How could any of them stand up to an enemy that they didn’t understand? And how could they possibly hope to ever understand them when the one person who could offer that insight refused to speak on the matter?
“It’s not fair,” she muttered as she kicked at the rug, whose intricate pattern she suddenly found quite offensive. “It’s just not bloody fair!”
“It wasn’t very fair to put him on the spot like that with no warning either,” Morgan said softly, making her presence known.
“Mum…” Dierna swiped at her tears, hoping to hide them, “how long have you been there?”
“Long enough.”
“Guess I better go back to the Common Room…”
“Stay here for awhile.”
“When Dad comes back he won’t be happy that I’m still here,” she sounded absolutely heartbroken.
“He won’t be back for awhile,” Morgan assured her gently, “and I think we need to talk.”
Dierna joined her mother on the couch, and was soon lying with her rested against Morgan’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“What for?” Morgan asked as she wrapped an arm around her daughter.
“For asking Dad that question. I knew that he wouldn’t respond well… and well... you always take his side when there’s a disagreement of any kind…”
Morgan sighed, yes she usually did take Severus’ side. But then he was usually the one in the right. However, that was not a point she was going to argue with her daughter at the moment.
“Can you tell me?”
“What?”
“Can you tell me why he…” Dierna stopped before she could finish the question.
“No, I can’t.”
“But…”
“First off, I don’t know, and even if I did it would not be my place to tell you. He has never told me much about why he became a Death Eater or what he did as one. Even when he was spying for the Order he wouldn’t tell me more than was absolutely necessary. He even made sure I left the room before he made his reports. He was trying to protect me and he is trying to protect you.
“And I think there is more to it… Some things you do… they can haunt you for the rest of your life, they are so terrible…”
“Does it ever bother you? Being married to a man of mystery and all…”
Morgan smiled, “your father is no mystery.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“His past is a mystery, that’s true enough. I know that he didn’t grow up in a happy home. Tiberius was… a hard man.” And that was a vast understatement, “He joined Voldemort’s forces and for some reason turned spy. The only people who know more of the story than that, besides your father of course, are dead.”
“Dumbledore?”
“Yes.”
“You said people. Who else?”
Morgan wished she had held her tongue. She wasn’t sure about the second one, but had her suspicions. And she suspected Draco Malfoy. Severus had always taken so much time with him… he had been so hurt when he disappeared shortly a few years after he graduated. He had been devastated when he turned up the year before, a supporter of Voldemort. Severus had fought so hard to avoid that, and he thought he had won that battle. She had a feeling that he saw Draco has his greatest failure.
“Who else?” Dierna repeated her question.
Morgan ignored the question, “your father as he is now… that I can explain. He feels like he has to be a miserable bastard. I think he gets some sort of perverse pleasure out of terrifying students when he is really more concerned with preventing them from injuring themselves. Occasionally the darkness of his past threatens to drag him down, but he has learned how to fight it…” her words faltered there. She had long suspected that unless she had been there on several occasions, particularly when Voldemort was so close to winning the last time, Severus would have taken his own life, or have willingly let the Dark Lord take it.
“I didn’t mean to make him angry tonight. I didn’t want to.”
“I know you didn’t, it’s just that… it’s complicated.”
“Should I apologize to him?”
“It probably wouldn’t hurt.”
“Should I wait until tomorrow?”
“Probably a good idea.”
“I think I’m going to go back up now, I’ve been gone for so long Serena is probably convinced that I really did get murdered this time.”
~~~~~~~~~~~
