Author: Regency
Title: Sing For Me
Spoilers: In The Room, the bathroom scene. This takes off right after that.
Summary: Abbey and Jed just before he makes his choice. With a few declarations of love along the way.
Disclaimer: I own none of the songs he sings nor the characters.
~~~
He huffed shallowly and raised an unsteady hand to his unruly hair. Abbey pushed herself up off the floor and dusted herself off without saying anything.
“I’m gonna run you a bath.” She started walking around the bathroom, gathering the things she would need.
“I don’t want a bath.”
“Yeah, I’m still gonna run one for you.”
“Abigail--
“It’ll make you feel better.”
“Will it make me walk?” She froze in her tracks for a moment, but continued her gathering nonetheless. “I didn’t think so. I don’t need a bath.” She put down the towels she just pulled from the linen closet and turned to look at him.
“I know you don’t want one, but I think it will help.”
“Abbey--”
“Please.” She looked at him pleadingly. “It will help me. I’ll get in with you.” His eyes slid away from her desolately and he looked at the floor near her bare feet instead.
“I don’t think I could even if I tried. And I don’t normally have to try.”
“I know.” She came to kneel beside him again and caressed his cheek with her hand. “But it doesn’t have to be about that. Not tonight.” He looked back up at her, his eyes so lacking the spark that lit her world.
“Then what?”
“To reconnect. You need me to understand and I need to understand. Please talk to me, honey. Don’t shut me out of this. This is happening to me, too.” He exhaled and nodded. He looked up to her, praying that she could understand the things that he couldn’t say.
“I’m weak, Abbey.”
“No.”
“I’m weak.”
“No! You are strong.” She framed his face in her hands. “You are strong.” He shook his head, tears already making their way down his face. He was surrendering. Surrendering to his fate.
“I can’t…I’m not strong enough, Abbey. I’m trying, but there isn’t enough left. I’m not -- I’m not …I’m sorry.” She reached out and brought him to her, trying to shield him from this with her body.
“Don’t be sorry. You are strong. You are strong enough for a hundred men. You are strong enough for me. And when you can’t be strong, I will be strong for you until you get your strength back. I will stand for you. But if you give up, if you give up, you give up on me; you give up on your children, your country, and your friends. I love you, but I did not marry a quitter And if you quit, you will become my worst nightmare.” His breath blew tenderly across her neck.
“What’s your worst nightmare?”
“Someone I don’t even know.” He nuzzled her neck and clung to her back. She was his anchor.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.” She rubbed slow circles into his back, calming him ever so gently. “You’re still taking the bath though.” She could feel small smile spreading across his face.
“But seriously, don’t give up on me, Abbey. I know I can be an asshole, but as long as you’re willing, I’m willing. Please don’t give up on me.” She rubbed a hand through his feathery hair and brushed it back to kiss his ear.
“What would I do anyway? I’ve been with you for thirty-seven years. I don’t know anything else.”
“I don’t know.”
“Exactly.” She leaned back to look into his eyes. “Now, let me run your bath. Hmm?” He nodded. “Good, boy.” She gently rested him back against the side of the tub and leaned over him to run the water. She held her hand under the faucet and adjusted the water until it was just warm enough, but not too hot. “It’s ready, babe.” She pressed the back of her hand to his cheek and waited. “That hot enough?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. We’re going take your clothes off, now. You wanna get your shirt while I get us some more clothes to put on?”
“Yeah, all right.” She stood up and turned back to him. He’d already started undoing his shirt. She loved him so much.
“Oh, and try to keep an eye on the water. Yell when it gets too high.” He nodded and went about undoing his pants. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the water was pretty high.
“Abbey, the water’s up.” She stuck her head in and gave it look.
“All right, I’ll be right in.” She came back in and turned off the water. “Well, you ready?”
“For what?”
“To get in the bath, Jethro?”
“I’m still dressed, Abigail. I’m not getting in there fully dressed.”
“I wasn’t expecting you to and don’t take that tone with me. I will help you.”
“Oh, so no Michael, this time?”
“No, no, Michael.”
“Okay, do your worst.” She sat down beside him and pushed his open shirt off of his shoulders. She pulled his undershirt up and over his head, pausing for a moment to run her fingers through the graying hair on his chest. “Abigail.” She jumped a little and blushed, reaching for his pants and averting her eyes. Of all the times to be turned on…
“Okay, you think you can pushed yourself up a little so that I can get these pants off?” He nodded and braced his arms against the side of the tub. “1, 2...3. Lift.” He grunted and pushed himself up off the floor. She tugged them off with a grunt of her own and fell back. “Woo. Now for the boxers.”
“Yeah, that ain’t gonna happen. I can’t hold myself up again. You can take a bath and I will watch.” She cocked an eyebrow at him.
“You’re a little voyeur, aren’t you?”
“If I’m watching you, yeah. Drop trough, gorgeous.” She gave him a naughty look before unbuttoning her top one at a time with a wink and a sway. “Ooh, strip tease. This is my kind of rehabilitation.” She drops the top behind her, revealing a silk and lace black camisole. “Very nice, now off with the skirt.”
“Aww and I thought you liked it.” He chuckled and motioned still.
“Come on, I’m getting older here.” She undid the zipper and let it fall to the floor. He licked his lips and stared at the matching panties with a captive interest. “Keep going.”
“You ordering me around?” He dragged his eyes from south of the Mason-Dixon line to her face.
“Um, yeah. Drop it.”
“You sure you can handle me?” He nodded despite the circumstances. “Okay, I guess.” She toyed with the hem for a while, prancing around in front of him. He groaned and dropped his head back on the rim of the bath.
“I give, I give. Let’s get me naked and get in the tub. I can’t do this voyeurism thing.”
“Aww, why not?”
“I’m a hands-on kind of guy.”
“I do know this…from experience.” She smiled at him secretively. Though there was no one else in the room, she liked pretending that just the two of them shared something that no one else knew about. There weren’t many things that existed that way anymore.
“Wonderful memories.” That seemed to bring him down. He couldn’t help but wonder if maybe they’d never get to make more of those memories. Abbey sensed this and paused to smile at him.
“And we will have years to make more memories just as wonderful.”
“You sure about that?”
“No, but it’s as much a prayer as a promise.”
“For who?”
“For us.” They searched each other’s eyes for a long moment. He finally nodded his assent. “Now, can we please get you out of those boxers, otherwise, you’re getting in all the way?”
“Fine, once more with contrivance.” He lifted himself up again and she tugged his boxers down his legs. He landed on the mat with a light thud. She patted his knee absently and it jumped to both of their surprises.
“That can’t be bad.”
“That’s good.”
“Depends. Did you feel me touching you?”
“I don’t know. Try again.” She did, not noticing the sly look in his eye.
“Yeah, I felt that.” And he did. He knew that he would. The feeling had come back there earlier, otherwise, he wouldn’t have tried to stand at all. He didn’t have muscular control, but he had limited feeling south of the border. That could work his way.
“So you’ve got some feeling, a lot of feeling, or limited feeling?”
“Some in the thighs, but limited below that.”
“Anything above the thighs?”
“Yeah, there’s some stuff happening there.”
“All right, but don’t think that means that there will be any recreation happening here tonight. We are going to bond and bathe.”
“That’s fine. But can we please, for the love of God, get in the bath? I’m getting rug rash here.” She grinned and tugged him up gently by his arms, supporting him around his waist. She realized immediately that this couldn’t work.
“Okay, I gotta put you back down. I’ll get in first and then, help you in.” That took a moment, but they got Jed situated back on his butt-print on the floor. She quickly discarded her underwear, unheeding of his popping eyes and pulled him back off the floor.
Still supporting him, she stepped into tub and pulled one feet into the tub. She barely held him up when his knee buckled, but she managed. He dragged his other leg into the tub and dropped it.
“Now what?”
“I’m going to turn you around so that you can rest against me.”
“Okay.”
“Ready?”
“Yeah.” She eased them both down into the steaming water. She reclined against the end of the tub and pulled him against her chest. She kissed the back of his head and breathed his scent in.
“How does the water feel?’
“Perfect. It’s even better with you in here with me.”
“Oh, yes. I think this was quite the idea.”
“I agree. Not like you really need me to like the idea. I’m in here now.”
“Exactly. I got you babe.”
“Don’t force me to sing.”
“Oh, what are you gonna sing?”
“L is for the way you look at me. O is for the only one I see…” He waited for her to take over.
“V is very, very extraordinary…” They continued together.
“E is even more than everyone that you adore. Oh, L is for the way you look at me. O is for the only one I see. V very, very extraordinary. E is even more than everyone that you adore. Oh, L…” They chuckled at their little attempt at a concert. Neither was ready for the quality time to end yet.
“Do you remember that song they played for us at the New Hampshire Inaugural Ball?” He thought back for a moment and nodded. “Do you know the words?”
“Yeah. I had Charlie look ‘em up for me. It just kept playing in my head and I couldn’t recall the words. I’ve read the words so often now that I can see them.”
“Sing them for me.”
“I can’t sing.”
“You just sang.” She rested her chin on his shoulder and pouted. “Sing for me.” He sighed and gave in. She hummed in time to his song.
“Oh, my love, my darling
I’ve hungered for your touch
Alone, lonely time
And time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine
I need your love
I need your love
God, speed your love to me”
She tightened her arms around him. “I like it when you sing. You should put out an album.” She pursed her lips when he started to quake with laughter. She’d just wanted to lighten the moment.
“I would single-handedly end the music industry.”
“Maybe, baby. I like your voice though.”
“Thank you. However, you are biased.”
“Yep.”
“Sound guilty.”
“Why bother? No one would buy it.”
“Yeah, well…” He slid down in the water, bracing himself on the sides of the tub.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing much.”
“I thought we were going to be honest.” He sighed tiredly. He didn’t know what to say.
“Can I sing?” She hesitated.
“Yeah, of course.”
“Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?
I’ll find my way through night and day,
‘Cause I know I don’t belong
Here in heaven.
Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart, have you begging please,
Begging please.
Beyond the door there’s peace I’m sure
And I know there’ll be no more
Tears in heaven.”
She cried silently and her tears mingled with the droplets of water on his shoulder.
“You’ll be all right. We’ll be all right. We’ll be right here in heaven.”
“As long as you’re with me.” He thought for a long while, running his fingers across the clear surface of the water. “Abbey, I’m going to do something tomorrow, something you’re not going to agree with.” Abbey tensed behind him.
“What?”
“These talks are going wrong. I have to approach him. I have to do something before we run out of time.”
“Someone else can come and finish the talks.” He shook his head vehemently.
“It needs to be me. I need to do this. I know this will disappoint you--”
“No, no. I’m barely even surprised.” She could feel his mix of surprise and confusion. “I know you like I know the face I see in the mirror. I know you need to do this. I just want you to understand that you could very well exacerbate your condition. Are you willing to go that far? To take that risk?” He wasn’t quiet for long.
“Yeah.”
“Okay, then. There’s no other reason for us to talk about that then. Are you pruning?” He looked over his shoulder at her. “Your hands, are they shriveling up?”
“Oh.” He looked at them and there were a few extra wrinkles here and there. “Yeah.”
“You wanna get out?”
“Not yet. I wanna stay in a bit longer.”
“That’s fine. Just rest your nerves. Tomorrow’s a big day.” She poured water over his chest and shoulders. “I’ll wash your back and you can think. Whatever you do, I’m right behind you.”
“No pun intended, of course.”
“Of course.” She kept up the washing for a few more minutes, but she was really starting to look like a dried cherry. “Okay, I look like spoiled milk with mold on it.”
“Nice visual.”
“Thank you.”
“We can get out now.”
“Thank God.” She pulled him up and sat him on the rim of the tub, whirling her toe in the water to pull the stopper with her foot. “Now we’re out.” She stepped out of the bath. Now to dry off. Abbey sighed. The hell with it. “You wanna get in bed naked?” His eyebrow went up of it’s own volition. “And wet?” It went up higher. “With me?” He just gazed at her with wide eyes. “Well?” He shrugged.
“Sure.”
“Great, lean on me.” They trudged to the door before Abbey held him back. “Michael, we’re good, you can go now.”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll be right outside.”
“I know.” The door closed softly. “Now, we can sit.” Jed was a little dumsquizzled.
“He was out there the whole time?”
“Yeah.”
“He heard me singing?”
“He heard us singing. Calm yourself. He won’t tell your secret.”
“He doesn’t have a recorder on his, does he?”
“Jed.” Her tone told him to stop being ridiculous.
“All right, all right. Lead on, MacDuff.”
“You’re not normal.”
“And that’s not news.”
“True.” She sat him down on the bed and turned down the covers so that he could wait for her unexposed. She pulled the covers up under h is chin and kissed his nose before sauntering back to the bathroom to clean up. He had to admit to enjoying the view.
When she came back, dressed in a silk robe, she found him snoring softly cuddled up to her pillow. She shimmied out of her robe and crawled in next to him. She snuggled close and whispered, “I love you,” into his ear. His lips curved into a smile and he wrapped his arms around her with a kiss.
“Love you, too.” She settled down to sleep, but found herself restless. The beat of his heart reminded her of a song.
“Jed,” she pinched his chest. He yelped and came awake.
“What the hell? Abbey, what is it?”
“Sing for me.” He furrowed his brow in drowsiness and confusion.
“What?”
“Sing for me. It’ll help me sleep.” He saw that she was serious and shrugged at the absurdity of such a request. Whatever made her happy.
“Okay. Um…Here goes,” he muttered nervously. He really didn’t like to sing.
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day >
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
Because there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart
He looked down at her to see if his impression of a dying piranha had made her permanently deaf only to find her slumbering peacefully, her warm breath ruffling the hair on his chest. She looked as beautiful as the day they’d met.
Tomorrow would be difficult, but before that time came, there was this time. His time with her. No press, no MS, no facades. Just the love of woman and a man thirty-eight years in the making. A love that had suffered and triumped, but had always survived.
And it always would in the songs they loved and made love to. And in the songs they sang to one another. He would sing for her as long as she still loved his voice and as long as he could remember the words.
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart
The rhythm of their life beat steadily in his chest and it was a comfort to her. Because it would never have to change.
And neither would their song.
Sing for me.
