Author: Regency
Title: Nothin’ But Time
Spoilers: You know, that episode with those letters and numbers that I can’t remember. 7A WF 83429
Rating: PG to be safe.
Pairing: Boy, that’s rich.
Summary: Five children: three lost; one lost forever, one to God, and one returned.
Disclaimer: I own more than you think. Just not Abbey or Jed.
AN: This is one of those stories where I just throw stuff at you and you make up your own backstory. I’m like Sorkin without all the problems.
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Abbey finally seemed to be done yelling. Not that he cared that much. She was pissed at him for a decision he’d made years ago and continued to make for the eighteen following. She was mad; he got that part. He kept giving her excuses to be mad, so he sat there and took it. But, she wasn’t the only one pissed and she wasn’t the only one hurting.
Everything sacred to him had just become everybody else’s business. He didn’t like it, he rarely ever did, but now she had to yell. He wanted to have an outburst too. He wanted to scream, shout, and rail. But he didn’t have anything left to feel with. He was hurting and he was tired and he was remorseful and grieving. He just wanted yesterday back.
“I wanted you to die for lying to me, again. I want you to die now and I can’t shake that feeling.” He didn’t look at her. He only stared at the charm bracelet dangling from his fingers. It was so delicate, fragile. She hadn’t taken it off since she got it on the day of her Confirmation. She used to have growth spurts like crazy. He was always afraid that one day she’d get too big for it. That became her fear and she stopped growing. She got a bit taller, but her wrist remained small and pale, the blue veins leading all the way to her fingertips. She never took it off. She should still be wearing it.
“Do you have anything to say to me? Anything to say at all?” He allowed his gaze to stray to her momentarily, but it slid away absently. He couldn’t think of a thing to say. He couldn’t think at all.
He hadn’t been able to get a word in edgewise since he’d come in. She was angry when he got there and she was still angry. He wasn’t angry; he was outraged. They’d taken his baby. This was more than he could handle a third time. Five children: three lost; one forever, one to God, and one returned.
Was this God’s punishment? He’d shriven, and repented and confessed. What more did God wish of him? What more would he take before the day was done? Abbey was already lost; he was less than confident of his standing with his living children and Susan looked sick. When he’d left her, she’d tried to put up a bold front, but she was breaking and it was his fault. All of this was his fault. Abbey wanted him to die. That made several dozen people plus one. He didn’t even want to live.
The tiny bracelet had a crescent moon for the moon under which she’d been born, a cross for her faith, three angels for her sisters, and a swaddled babe for the Son, her child and her brother. Babies having babies. His granddaughter no longer had a mother. This was a whole new life. Abbey was still furious, his daughter was still dead and he had nothing, but time.
He sighed softly. He wanted to die now.
