The day when you actually start a new endeavor in your so-called life. The day where you actually quit bullshitting around and become what you put off for ten years.
A college student.
At twenty- fucking -seven years old you wanted to make your little sister proud and set an example. Not that eleven-year-old Elyse would ever be disappointed in you. The girl worshipped the ground you walked on. You've been raising her on your own for nine years now. Your mother's over worked body couldn't handle the three jobs to support the three of you anymore and she died three days after Lyse's second birthday, leaving you as her sole guardian since your sister's rat bastard father was a no show after he knocked your mother up. You've been raising her the best you could with your nurse's aid salary. But you always had the desire to do more with your life but Elyse was always top priority. But after she graduated from elementary school, she asked you why didn't you go to college. She wanted her brother to be a graduate too. So now you were going to major in nursing at Gibbons College.
Elyse believed in you. So as long as you had someone rooting for you, you knew you could do it.
You placed your shaking hand on the door leading to the lecture hall, took a deep breath and you opened the door that was also the beginning to your new life.
Psychology 101 was to be taught by TBA, or to be announced. You sighed as you read your bill with your class schedule. You are taking morning classes so you could still be home to make dinner for you and your sister before you went to work in the evening and left her with your best friend since junior high, Joey.
You walked through the doorway and looked up at the ascending room, there were at least a hundred students in there, all of them looking fresh out of high school. You inwardly sighed and chanted Elyse in your brain as you shyly moved toward the center of the floor. You self-consciously looked down at your clothes, happy that you went with Elyse's choice today. The indigo jeans and light blue long sleeved t-shirt not making you look like an old head trying to fit in. The students stopped to stare at you and then your attire. You can feel your face burning up from embarrassment as you walked past the professor's podium but you then figured out that they weren't judging you but trying to assess if you were the professor. When they saw you sit down in the front row, a collective 'oh' was said and the people went back to talking.
You set your book bag in the chair next to you and waited along with the rest of your classmates. The class was to start at 9:10 this morning but the teacher had yet to show up. You looked at your cell phone for the time and saw that it was 9:15. Someone sat down next to you and you quickly looked over.
He was tall with a closely shaven blonde head. He dressed a bit preppyish but that wasn't bad. You smiled in greeting. The obviously younger man looked at you but did not smile back.
"My God, like where in the fuck is the professor? I'm like totally fucking pissed, it's like not even fucking funny. I like got up too damn early this morning for his ass to be late," a girl grumbled from the row behind you.
"Yeah, what have you heard about this professor?" the blonde kid sitting next to you asked the girl.
"Well obviously he can't tell fucking time. And that he's some newbie, like a fucking adjunct or something," she smiled and winked at the blonde, who showed no response to that wink.
"Is that so? You know his name?" you asked the girl who knew more than you.
"Oh my God, you're not the teaching assistant?" She asked you. You shook your head and blushed. You couldn't help to not blush. It was a habit that you never got over. "It's something with a T. I forgot it. It was Timberriver or something primitive like that. I didn't even want to take this class so fucking early especially by some guy who's still working on his like grad degree, you know?" she flipped her hair and blew a bubble with her pink gum. "I might just complain to the department about this asshole," she smirked. "My name's Britney, what's yours?" she politely asked.
You smiled shyly, "I'm Joshua."
The blonde smirked, "I'm Justin. Justin Timberlake." You gaped at the man-boy sitting right next to you. It couldn't possibly be...
"Hello," he boomed from the seat. "My name's Justin Timberlake, your instructor for this semester." Everyone turned to look at the young man as he made his way to the podium. "As Miss," he broke from his speech to hold an upturned hand at Britney, "Your last name?"
Britney blushed, "Spears," she filled in lowly.
Justin lifted an eyebrow at the younger girl, "As Ms. Spears pointed out, I was late. But I decided to sit around the room, to get a feel of the class and students. Please note that you definitely did not disappoint," he looked directly at the big-mouthed girl, who sunk lower in her seat.
Your mind was still reeling from the fact this little boy who probably couldn't wipe his ass straight, was teaching this class, namely you. You felt so bad for Britney who couldn't have known who he was. That was a dirty trick but sighed. What could you do?
"So let's get down to business, shall we? I'm an adjunct. I also am working on my Master's in Psychology and conducting an extensive research project for this semester. So I'm a very busy man. I have a teaching assistant, Ms. Aguilera, who will have office hours for any of your questions. As she hands out the syllabi, I'll summarize for you all. There will be three exams, two papers, a midterm and a final exam that I will use to base your grade on. There will be no make-ups for any of the exams, I'm too busy so don't ask. I also don't accept late papers, so please do try and do them in advance. We will skip chapters from the textbook, so do follow along. I will take attendance for every class. You miss six classes you fail automatically. I don't care if you get straight A's, you miss more than six, you fail." He looked out at the quiet room, carefully taking in the responses.
You gulped as you took a syllabus from the tiny Ms. Aguilera. You loved her vibrant pink shoes. She saw you staring at them and winked. At least she wasn't a bitch like Instructor Timberlake.
"Oh and a very important rule. No cell phones, pagers or beepers on. I doubt any of you are doctors, so kindly turn them off. I find it disruptive and rude when they go off during class. If one should happen to go off while I'm lecturing, I will stop. The owner of the cell or any other device must leave the class immediately, if not, I will leave and whatever I would have lectured that day will definitely be on the upcoming test. Have I made my self clear?"
The class nodded silently. You wondered if it was too late to drop out. If your first teacher was this mean, you were afraid to even imagine the others.
"Christina, are you finished handing out the syllabi?" She nodded her blonde head at her colleague. "Let's begin with Chapter One, shall we?"
You prayed you could survive and quickly took out your notebook.
*`*`*`*`*`*
You trudged through the back door with your arms loaded with textbooks and your book bag. You nearly stumbled from the added weight but luckily Elyse opened the door and grabbed a bag from you.
"Hi Josh! Me and Joey could've helped, you know." She lightly chastised you as she set your books down to the kitchen table. Thankfully she started her first day of junior high next week.
"JC my man, how was your first day?" Your friend asked from the opened refrigerator.
"My first class is being taught by a fu-" you cut yourself off from cursing, remembering that Elyse was in the room, "Uh darn twelfth grader." Elyse smiled anyway, knowing what you really wanted to say.
"You're kidding"
"I kid you not. Supposedly some psychology whiz kid who's working on his Master's. He told us that he was too busy to answer our questions directly. He has an assistant who looks older than him. Oh and get this, I come into class and sit in front of this girl who starts harping about the teacher being late and guess who sits next to us the whole time while she made her speech?"
Joey bit down on the apple he swiped from the fridge and widened his eyes. "Not the kid?"
"Yes the fu...uh, darn kid. He's a total," you look down at your sister who was hanging on to every word, "P-R-I-C-K." You spell out.
"Josh I can spell," Elyse pointed out.
You stick your tongue out at her, "Good. Then you know not to say it." You kissed the top of her dark chocolaty waves.
"Were your other teachers nice, Josh?" Elyse batted her olive green cat eyes at you.
"They were really cool, especially my English professor, Professor Hobe. I told her about the poems I wrote and she wants to actually read them," you couldn't help but gush. You knew that writing was a hobby for you, to say at the most. But when the professor asked everyone about their passions and hobbies, you were more than happy to tell her you wrote poetry and songs. You even stayed after class to talk to her about it since she too was a writer.
Joey smiled and bit into his apple. "Was she hot?" He grinned wolfishly with his mouth full of apple.
You were not surprised by his comment. "Joey she's married," you sighed.
"Did you see any cute guys?"
Your heart stopped beating for a moment. It still took some time getting used to Elyse knowing you swung for the other team. You tried to be extra careful around her but she had overheard a comment made by Joey last summer about your ex, who Elyse thought was your really good friend. She handled it quite well and sometimes when the two of you went shopping, she'd point cute guys for you. It took some time getting used to that as well, her even looking at guys and thinking that they're cute. You wish she were five all over again.
"Um, what did you and Joey do today, Lil' Bit?" You definitely were not going to discuss hot men with your sister.
Elyse would not be easily diverted. "So guess that's a no then, huh?"
"How about we go out to McDonald's for dinner?" You hoped that the offer would help get the attention off of you and the current subject.
"Guess not." Joey and Elyse said in unison.
*`*`*`*`*`*
You hurried up into your psychology class on Wednesday morning. It was one minute to nine but you had a feeling that Timberlake would start on time. You saw the young instructor standing at the podium writing something on the overhead projector. You didn't want to sit in the front of the class but all the seats in the back were filled. There was more space in the front, which was crowded with girls. You move the front row and pass by Timberlake who stared blankly at you for a brief second and went back to his scribbling with his dry marker. You look for Britney but did not see her. She was the only other person who you remotely knew in this class.
The instructor cleared his throat. "I would like everyone to look up towards the front." He turned on the machine. He wrote in bold letters, TURN OFF CELLS AND PAGERS. "Thank you. Now we are still in Chapter one today and hopefully will finish today so we can start Chapter Two on Friday. According to your syllabus, you have your first paper due two weeks from now. I do not except late papers. At. All." It felt like he was talking directly to you. He glanced over at you once again and you inwardly gulped.
"I believe there are about one hundred twelve students in here today. We had a small percentage that dropped the class. I hope I won't scare you off as well. I don't know what you heard about the subject of psychology. Most likely that it is an easy subject but I will definitely make it hard," he smirked. The little bastard smirked and then he looked again in your direction.
Maybe you were imagining things but it felt as if he expected something from you. You never felt more uncomfortable in your life.
*`*`*`*`*`*
"Well Joshua your work is wonderful. Have you ever thought about entering any contests?" Professor Hobe asked you during your free time. You spent time with the older woman.
"Oh no, not really. But I'll think about it." Which really meant hell no. You were so nervous to show it to your English professor but she was very encouraging. But to have to 1) read your written words for others to hear and 2) read ALOUD in front of PEOPLE, you just didn't think that could happen. You smiled politely at your teacher.
"You should, Josh. In fact we have poetry readings every Friday night at 8:00 for this semester. You definitely should try there. Sometimes we even have published poets searching for new talent and yours is one to be seen." She had a feeling her student wasn't going to do it but she would keep encouraging him because she saw something special in him.
"Thanks," you blushed. "I'll think about it. I have a psychology paper due in about three days and I really need to get a head start on it," you gathered your books of prose, songs and poems and placed them in your book bag. "Thanks so much Professor."
"It's Carlene," she smiled at you.
You couldn't help but to continue grinning, "Carlene." You quickly left the room and went to the parking lot for your car.
*`*`*`*`*`*
You got home that day and made dinner as usual. Elyse would come home from school in a little bit and you were going to try and start your paper today. You couldn't believe Timberlake was expecting a paper so soon. Your English paper wasn't even due until next month. You sat down in front of the computer and stared at the blank screen. You were just as blank as the page. If you had to write a song or a poem, not a problem. But this paper was killing you. Not mention the paper counted as ten percent of your grade. You did not want to have a bad start.
You were about to type the first word for your paper when Elyse came through the front door. You turned to greet her. "Hey Lil' Bit," calling her by her childhood nickname. "I'm in here," you called out from the den.
She threw her book bag on the floor next to yours and threw herself down on the couch. "Josh, I don't feel so good."
That sentence hindered you from writing anything that night or over the weekend when Elyse's simple "I don't feel so good" metamorphosed into a 101-degree fever. You've been on vomit, chicken soup and cuddle duty from that Friday afternoon. You haven't had a good night's sleep through the duration. When Elyse finally went to sleep that Sunday night, you had an hour to type out a five-page paper or you'll have to cut your sleeping time short. You looked at the nearly blank screen. Looks like a cut to your sleeping time it is.
So you wrote your paper with quotes and all but after page two you don't really remember what you wrote because you were falling asleep at your computer. You woke up at 7:45 that morning to take a quick shower and print your paper. Elyse seemed to have broken her fever but to stay on the safe side you begged Joey to go to his restaurant later today after you finished your classes and watch your Lil' Bit.
You checked on Elyse, who begged to go to school. She was a brainiac and A+ student, so school was a favorite place for the girl. After you adamantly refused for her to leave the house with her ill self, you waited for Joey to show up. You were ready to go by 8:30 but Joey ran a little late. It took you twenty minutes to get to school but when Joey reached at your house at 9:01 in cab stating that his car broke down on the way and he left his damn cell at his house, you knew you were in deep shit. You just stopped Joey in mid-explanation and told him to tell you everything when you got back.
You hauled ass to school, damn near breaking the speed limits. You shaved six minutes off of your usual twenty minutes traveling time and made your way into the building by 9:16. You prayed and hoped that Timberlake was late today but when you opened the door to go through the back entrance, so not to disturb your instructor and class, you found that the door was locked. Meaning that he was in there. You gulped nervously and ran to the front entrance. You thought of skipping it altogether but your kid professor didn't accept late papers. You opened the front door to the mini lecture hall as quietly as possible but all eyes turned on you as you opened the door further.
"Well hello Mr. Chasez," the instructor smiled sarcastically. You were surprised that he knew your name. "And goodbye Mr. Chasez. I should hope you remembered the rules." A few students tittered quietly at you. You blushed to a vibrant red, more embarrassed than you have ever been in your life. You remembered his rules. After five minutes he would lock the doors. Anyone who came in after that was to have been marked absent because he would not take you in. But you had a good reason.
"But my-"
"You will have to wait until after class to hand me your paper. Ms. Aguliera has left with them and I don't have time to just accept yours." You felt as if you would die right there. All you wanted was to bury yourself in a deep hole. "Now after class. Goodbye." He dismissed you and turned away from to face the class.
You might as well explain why you were late, "I was late because-"
"I really don't care to hear right now. You are cutting into your classmates time, now goodbye." He said into the microphone on the podium. More students laughed out loud at you, making you redder than a tomato.
You turned away from the young man and sighed heavily. You could not believe the nerve of this kid. He could have brought you to the side and told you discreetly to leave. You didn't want to see the kid's face right now but had to hand your paper in.
So you waited.
The class was over by 9:50 but you came in two minutes later just in case any of your classmates wanted to talk to Timberlake after class. But it seems no one was on your side today because a student, the class-know-and-question-it-all was asking the tall man questions. Now you were going to be late for your Statistics class but thank goodness your professor wasn't as anal as Timberlake.
So you stood there being ignored by the both of them. You had a feeling that Timberlake was drawing pleasure out of this. The man took extra time to explain the questions to the overeager girl and even included examples. The girl just kept asking questions some even bordering mundane. You figured the girl had a crush on the instructor and was drawing out their student-teacher time on purpose. You sighed and at 10:05 you were about to silently explode, you threw your fucking paper on the podium and turned to leave.
"Nuh-uh Mr. Chasez. I would like to talk to you." Timberlake looked up from talking to Mary Sue or Mary Beth, you really couldn't care less, and looked at you briefly before he went back to explaining an answer to a question, you would bet your next paycheck on, the girl already knew. You stood a short distance away from the two and lightly tapped your foot.
Oh now he wants to talk, you thought evilly. Fucking figures his bitch ass would want to talk to me now. Why couldn't he have done that when you came in late?
"Oh thank you Mr. Timberlake," the girl gushed and flashed him a view of her cleavage. You inwardly gagged from the girl's obvious display of flirtation. You can't believe you had to watch this shit. Fucking pathetic.
The girl giggled and made her way out of the classroom. You silently dared her to look at you because if looks could kill, she would have been pushing up daisies right about now.
"Mr. Chasez," Timberlake said.
You rolled your eyes and looked at the younger man. You walked closely to the man and held out your paper. "Here you go." You weren't going to add "sir" because you definitely weren't going to give this asshole any more respect than necessary.
Timberlake stared at you again and took the paper from you. "Thank you."
"Is that all?" You asked. You have an attitude but you really didn't give a fuck if it showed in your voice.
"You're not going explain yourself?" He looked mildly surprised.
"You didn't want to hear it before," You said smartly. "Besides I'm late for my Stat class. So is that all?"
"I hope you know that just because I'm obviously younger than you, I can't give you leeway." Didn't you already know this? Weren't you fucking standing in front of him, late for your class? And he had some gall telling you that you were old. "There's no need for attitude, Mr. Chasez. I hope there will not be a repeat of this morning again for the semester. Do I make myself clear?"
You had to leave now before you did something stupid. "Very much so." And you turned and quickly left the room. You were damn near steaming from the nerves Timberprick had.
*`*`*`*`*`*
Three weeks have passed and you've taken your first examinations in all of your classes. You loved each subject even psychology just not the instructor. Ever since that Monday you've sat away from the front. You could not stand to look at the blonde man for too long.
Today was the day you got back your papers back and you were slightly anxious to see your grade. So Timberlake ended the class five minutes before ending time so everyone could collect their papers. You rushed past the milling students, in a hurry to pick your paper up and leave in the fastest time possible but when you read your grade and Timberlake's comment, you felt your stomach drop.
A D+.
A fucking D +.
Timberlake wrote on the top, "Mr. Chasez, I must say I'm quite shocked that you received this grade. It was poorly explained and summarized. Please remain after class today. I would like to talk to you. Is English your second language?"
You felt you throat constrict and sat down in the front row waiting to be joined by other students who received a poor grade but after Ms. Know-It-All left the class room chirping about her A+ you noticed that you were the only one.
"Mr. Chasez," Timberlake smirked. "I'd like to talk to you about your paper. Is English your second language?" he looked at you earnestly.
"No."
"Oh. Well then I would have suggested you to join a tutoring club for our international students. Are you enrolled in any English classes?"
"Yes."
"Really?" He arched his eyebrows. "Well you should spend more time with your teacher or maybe join a tutoring program because this paper wasn't up to par. You were my only student to receive such a score. I'm quite surprised especially since you seem to be a…"
And you blanked out from then, silently nodding or shaking your head when Timberlake asked you questions. You felt so stupid. You have never felt so bad in your life. After Timberlake finished and looked at you with pity in his blue eyes, you silently left and ran to your car. You were cutting all of your classes for the rest of the day. You blinked back tears as you drove home. You made your way into the den and bawled your eyes out.
Elyse had a half-day of school that day and when she let herself in to see you crying on the couch, she quickly hugged you and asked, "Josh, what's wrong?"
You tried to wipe your tears off of your face but Elyse held your arms by your side. Her gold-flecked eyes glittered as she stared into you, giving you the feeling she was analyzing your soul, trying to find what was wrong so she could fix it. You sighed. You never lied to Elyse and didn't want to start now. You couldn't. "My teacher gave me a D+ for my paper. He asked if English was my second language." You couldn't help but to tear up once again.
"Why would he ask something like that?" Your sister asked calmly while rubbing your back. She never seen you cry much and you were freaking her out but she kept her manner soothing. She'd do anything to see you stop. She hated your Psychology professor and silently vowed that if she met him, she'd kick him in the knees.
You sighed brokenly, "He said that my paper was poorly written. And that he was surprised that I would have wrote something like that. Does he have to point out that I'm basically the oldest student in the class!"
"He's just being a P-R-I-C-K."
"Lyse, you know better than to say those words."
"I didn't. I spelled it out. Big difference."
"And same meaning," you sighed. At least you stopped tearing up. "God if my first paper was that bad, how can I write anymore? Maybe I should rethink this whole college business."
"You're not stupid. You're teacher is. And you're the best writer I know," Elyse smiled sagely. "You can't give up just because your mean teacher is being a big time buttface. That won't set a good example for me," she smirked.
"You know better. Besides you can't give up. You're going to go to college and become a hotshot lawyer."
"And you are going to be a nurse. So if you don't give up, I won't give up. Deal?" She held out her hand for you to shake.
"Deal."
*`*`*`*`*`*
So you looked over your paper and definitely saw that your paper wasn't A + worthy. You included your points, you just didn't word them properly. So writing papers when you lacked sleep was not a good idea.
But Elyse was right. Just because you got a bad score doesn't mean that you give up. You brought your paper to Carlene and you rewrote it with the help of Carlene's tips. She showed you your errors but disagreed with Timberlake's grade. She thought the paper was worth a C, a C- just to be harsh. The tips and techniques that Carlene showed you helped you a lot. In fact Carlene was becoming more of a friend than a teacher.
That D+ was your driving force. You wanted to prove Timberlake wrong and have him in utter awe with your next paper. But that was weeks away so you turned your attention to your exams. You were a reading machine, reading any book Timberprick suggested. You tried to never sit in the front area of the class. You didn't want to draw attention from Timberlake but some how no matter where you sat, it seemed that his eyes would find you. He looked at you for short periods of time, more like quick glances but he found you.
You paid him no attention. You left that up to his fan club headed by that know-it-all in the front rows. There always seemed to be a question asked from the front rows. You wrote down notes and studied for this class hoping that high exam scores would make your D+ insignificant. You were listening to Timberlake talk about psychoanalytic theories when you could've sworn your name was called. You looked up and felt about 109 pairs of eyes turned to you not including Timberlake whose blue eyes were boring into you.
"I'm sorry could you repeat the question?" You can't believe he called on you. Why not ask his fan club?
"Yes. Can you describe the Electra complex for me?" He looked at you expectantly.
Well was he going to be in for a shock. "No problem. That is a complex where a daughter feels no woman is competent for her father, basically her mother. She, the daughter, wants to replace the mother's role. The Electra complex is the opposite of the Oedipus Complex," you couldn't help but smile brightly. Ha ha take that!
"Wonderful," he remarked not too brightly and went on to lecturing, still looking at you for small amounts of times.
*`*`*`*`*`*
Midterms were a thing of the past seeing as how you took them weeks ago. The dreaded finals were coming up but you were pretty cool about them. You were averaging ninety in all of your class exams and were currently working on paper number two for Timberlake.
He called on you twice in class after that day back in October. You answered his questions correctly those two times. You couldn't wait to hand in your paper to him. You went to Carlene to ask about your thesis and outline and she cheered you on.
It was a week until the last day till the beginning of Thanksgiving break. That will be the same day you had to hand in you psychology paper. You were walking outside of the building, heading to the parking lot. You had just finished your English class and were on your way to head home when someone called your name. You turned to look around and noticed Timberlake running towards you with a small grin on his face. You wondered what he wanted now, to critique on how improper you walked or what?
"Mr. Chasez."
You couldn't help but think, That's right kid. It's MR. Chasez to you. "Yes?"
"I wanted to know if you enrolled in any tutoring programs available at the school? I know your paper is due in less than a week and I wouldn't want a repeat of paper one again. You are doing remarkably well on your exams but I wouldn't want your papers to hinder your average."
You wished you could kick him just once. You spoke in a calm tone. "I saw where I went wrong on the paper. That weekend was...I really shouldn't get into it. But yes expect a literate paper next week." You smiled sharply and turned to go to your car.
"Wait." You sighed and turned around. "I'm glad you saw your errors." Yep, you would kick him in the shin, if you could. "You never did explain what happened that day." He looked into your eyes intensely.
"You never really wanted to listen then. Good day." You just wanted to get far, far away from the boy. The nerve of him. Being inquisitive now. It's not his damn business. You turned to leave and went to your car. As you buckled your seatbelt in your 1996 Camry, you couldn't help but notice Timberlake was watching you. You were looking at him through your rearview mirror. Timberlake would look more approachable if he smiled. That serious intense staring thing he did anytime you saw him was okay but a smile would be even better. You rolled your eyes and turned on your ignition and drove out of the space, thinking about your professor the entire way as you drove home.
*`*`*`*`*`*
You finished your paper that night and brought it in for Carlene to read over after class Friday. "Brilliant, Josh. This is such a step up from your last paper. I'm not surprised you wrote it since you master poetry and songwriting. You know we are having an open mic night tonight. You really should come. Please? We are offering a $500 prize."
You could use that money to help with Christmas shopping. Elyse kept eyeing this green dress at the mall for the longest of times. She had a Christmas party at her junior high school, which she's going to but not in the dress she wanted. She understood that the dress was out of your budget but if you could scrounge any money to buy it for the girl you would. She deserves it.
"Okay. I'll stop by and check it out." You doubt you were good enough to win the prize but if you could bolster enough courage to read in front of the class, a few more people couldn't be as bad. Right? Oh who were you kidding?
"Oh no, Josh. How about I come over and pick you up? This way I know you'll be there. Plus I can be in the audience for moral support," she offered as an incentive.
"I'm coming." So you were fibbing a little. Carlene looked at you with a smirk on her face. You sighed heavily and relented. "Okay fine. I'll write down my address. What time?" You pulled out a pen and wrote down your address for your friend.
"Great! I'll come by 6:30," she beamed. "It starts at 7:00 sharp. I'll write your name on the set list since I'm heading to the café now." You looked at the paper you wrote your address on and wondered if you should have given her a wrong address. Just hearing that she was going to add your name to the list made it sound permanent and there was no way you could back out now.
*`*`*`*`*`*
The café looked different from this time of night. Or maybe it was the nerves getting to you. You looked around the room and gulped pretty hard at the number of people who showed up. You let Carlene lead you to a table as you kept your head down, watching your jean covered legs make their way forward to the front of the room.
"Nervous?" Carlene asked you as you sat down across from her at the table she picked.
You were right by the stage and you didn't think sitting so close to it helped your anxiety. You quickly turned your back to the stage to answer with a brief, "Yes".
Carlene thought of ways to help calm you down. "You'll do fine. You read a poem of yours for me. This is just the same except with a few more people." Try at least two hundred more people. "You know you never told me what you are going to read. Do you have it picked out already?"
"I'm going to read 'For Elyse'. It means a lot to me and since I'm basically doing this for her, I figured why not." You quickly stared into Carlene's brown eyes. "Do you think that is a good idea? I wrote that when my mother died and it was just a way of healing for me. Do you think I should read something else cause I can just get my notebook from your car and-" Carlene put her calm and steady hands over your frantic ones.
"Shush. I loved that poem so much. I cried when I read it. You put so much emphasis on how you felt and I don't think you should change your selection." she smiled reassuringly at you. "I know you're nervous but you have a half hour wait, so how about I get you some water to drink, okay?"
You nodded and smiled your thanks. You looked down at the sheet of words you memorized years before and silently went over the lines in your head. Not making any eye contact with anyone or anything else other than 'For Elyse'. You didn't notice that you caught someone's eye as well. Carlene came back with two waters in her hand and handed you a cold bottle.
A woman tapped the microphone to signal the start of the night's program. After the Emcee welcomed everyone and introduced the opening act, you began to feel a slight ease as the night progressed. You laughed your ass off at a psych professor's rendition of "All that Jazz" in a Chicago drag getup. The dark haired man made an ugly woman. As you continued to heckle from the hilarious performance you heard your name called out in the speakers, which cut off your laughter.
Carlene gripped your hand and gently nudged toward the stairs that lead to the stage. "Go on, Josh. Break a leg."
You silently stood up and tightened your hold on Carlene's hand before you let it go. You pushed your chair back and quietly made your way to the stairs, your head watching the floor as you made your way up the stairs. The emcee wished you "good luck" as you made your way to center stage. You took a deep breath and raised your head to look directly at Carlene, not trusting yourself to look at anyone else or you might just bolt.
"Hi," you shyly began. "The poem I will read you is titled 'For Elyse'. I wrote it to help me get through a very tough time in my life. Elyse is a very special girl in my life and my poem is about her." You closed your eyes and took a deep breath.
And you began, Lord knows what drove you, but you did. You closed your eyes as recited your written word verbatim. You talked about how you were an only child for all those years before Elyse. And how happy your mother was when she learned she was going to have a daughter. How you chose Elyse's name. How you were the first person she looked at in the delivery room. And how you thought you could only love your mother but when those green gold-flecked eyes looked upon yours, you fell in love. How short her time with your mother was and how you regretted that her father was never around to see her grow up. You took on both roles as mother and father. As her guardian and a best friend. You expressed your feelings and insecurities. Your hopes and dreams for her. And how she is all things good and pure.
And "how she is love".
You opened your eyes when you said your last line. This was the first time you ever looked outright at the crowd. A single tear fell from your eyes as you softly said that.
"Thanks," you whispered into the microphone and smiled with slightly watery eyes. Carlene quickly stood up and applauded you. You expected her to clap, not stand up and cheer so enthusiastically. But when everyone gave you a standing ovation, you were overwhelmed. You bashfully accepted their applause and tried to step off the stage but people kept cheering and patting your back.
You finally made your way off the stage where Carlene left the table to hug you. "I knew you could wow them Josh. That was so beautiful. It was as if your words were a spoken melody." You hugged her back, sort of understanding why she was going on in such a way but not quite grasping how much your words affected people.
You looked at your table and saw unsuspected surprise.
Joey and Elyse.
The two were grinning like fools and Elyse jumped into your open arms. "We surprised you, didn't we Josh? Mrs. Hobe said it would be a big surprise. We hid in the back and saw you the whole time. You were marvelous," she grinned.
"Why thank you, Lil' Bit," you smiled. Joey wrapped the three of you in a bear hug.
"Damn Josh, you have a way with words. I almost cried myself." Joey smiled and turned to shake Carlene's hand. The two made their way back to your table.
"Joey was crying," Elyse whispered in your ear. "Shush but don't tell him I told you." You carried her in your arms as you walked towards the table while people smiled and patted your back.
The four of you watched the rest of the acts. When it was time to hear the announcement of the winner, you already figured you were beat by the female singing quartet. They were good but when "Joshua Chasez" was announced as winner you almost pissed your pants. You sat there quite stunned.
"Josh you won," Elyse clapped excitedly.
"Well what are you waiting for, dude? Go get your check, man," Joey chuckled as he took in your astonished expression.
You walked up on the stage in a daze. You smiled for the camera and accepted the check of $500. You were definitely making a stop by the bank. You were going to deposit that sucker as soon as you could. You walked to the table and suggested, "How about we head home and then we can celebrate, huh? I think Baskin Robbins is still open, Lyse. We can get some ice cream and pig out?" You didn't want to stay in the café for too long. It wouldn't be before long before people would want to congratulate and talk to you.
"You ask like I'm going to say no," Elyse smirked. "And Joey's definitely not going to say no." Joey playfully shoved the little girl.
"Carlene would you like to join us in a winner's sundae? We'd love to have you," You smiled bashfully.
"I'd love to Josh but I have two hungry teenagers at home that I must get to."
"Congratulations Josh!" Someone called out from behind you.
"Whoo!" Some girl started to scream and a few more joined in.
You wanted out of the stuffy room. People were still smiling and calling out your name. You weren't used to so much attention and it was unnerving. "Let's go you guys."
"Hey Josh!" Someone else called out but you pretended to not hear him. You definitely did not want to spend the night talking to strangers. There was only so much attention you could take. You lifted Elyse on your shoulders and tried to move toward the doors as quickly as you could. When the four of you finally got outside, you turned to smile at the woman who pushed you to come that night.
She hugged you once more, "Congratulations Joshua. You were remarkable. Use this night as a reminder to enter poetry contests. You're past good. Nice to meet you Joey and Elyse. You're brother has a way with words." Carlene winked and bid them goodnight.
"Josh there was a cutie in the back checking you out." Elyse giggled after you put her down to walk to your car, which Joey drove to your college.
"Elyse I thought that we covered that guys are not cute. You're not supposed to think guys are cuties until you finish college."
"Josh man, I don't dig dudes but he was good looking." Joey said as he fished your car keys out of his pocket. "And he was definitely digging you. He was staring you down man even before you went on stage."
You rolled your eyes and sighed. "Please the last thing I need is you picking out guys for me. The only thing that I want to talk about is ice cream. That's the only thing that is cute. Now let's go."
*`*`*`*`*`*
You walked into psychology class on Monday. You had your paper printed and ready to be handed in early. You still wished for Timberlake to be absent. Today felt like it would be a good day and if Timberlake were to be absent, it would be perfect. Even if you had to hand in your paper on the due date.
So when you saw your instructor talking to Know-It-All who was nodding and giggling at the podium, you frowned inwardly. Well you weren't going to ask for membership in his fan club, so you definitely weren't sitting in the front. You walked passed the two. You really couldn't see why the girl didn't give it up. She was too...simpering for the professor. Not that you cared but it wasn't hard to see that it was not a match made pair.
"Mr. Chasez," Timberlake actually called your name while talking Know-It-All. Actually cutting the chatty girl off in mid-sentence. You wanted to laugh so badly at the frog face Know-It-All made when Timberlake cut her off but you managed to keep it in.
"Yes?" You wondered what the hell happened now.
"Could you possibly stay a few minutes after class? I'd like to speak with you. If that's not a problem, of course."
You screwed up your face in confusion. "Uh, sure." You nodded and went towards the back. You pondered through the entire class what could your professor want to talk to you about? You got a ninety-seven on you last test...unless he thought you were cheating. The bastard thought you cheated. When Timberlake looked at you during his lecture period like he usually did, you made sure to glare back at him instead of looking away like you normally did. The two of you held each other's stare for longer than usual. You looked down to write down some notes. Timberlake stood in the same spot. He lectured in your direction for the rest of class, which he also ended ten minutes earlier than usual. You walked down the stairs toward the podium but Know-It-All made sure to get there first.
"Oh Professor, I wanted to ask you a question before I go," she smiled too brightly for your taste. How could Timberlake not see the undying devotion in this girl's eye? It was beyond you. It was plain revolting.
"Yes, Mary," he smiled a bit harshly. Maybe the professor wasn't as blind as you thought.
"I wanted to know if my thesis was good enough?"
"Is it the same as the one you showed me last class?"
"Yes."
"Then it should be fine. Is that all?"
"Well yes I guess." You thought Mary was done but she opened he mouth to ask him something else but Timberlake once again cut her off.
"I hope it wasn't a bother for you to wait after class." He told you. Aw, poor Know-It-All got shut up. You tittered inwardly and in your mind you were rolling on the floor but you once again kept a straight face. She sashayed out of the room but she failed to notice that neither of you were watching her.
"No not a problem. I have my paper typed early. I hope it won't be a problem for you to accept it." You handed the paper that you held in your hands to the younger man.
"Definitely not a problem." He sort of smiled. It was an almost grin but those little lips of his didn't make the full trip. You wondered if those lips ever smiled much period. Then you chastised yourself for looking at the instructor's lips.
"I saw you."
Saw you what? "Excuse me?" You figured he was going to go in for the attack but you were ready for him.
"Friday night at the open mic night. You are, I mean, were incredible. My friend, he did the drag act, Professor Kirkpatrick dragged me to watch him perform but I'm glad that I went. You were remarkable. The amount of passion and emphasis you put into you words were exquisite. I never saw or should I say felt a reading like that before."
Your cheeks lit up right on time. "Thanks. Didn't see you there."
"Oh I was in the back. I called you to congratulate you but you were ready to leave out of there with your wife or your girlfriend and I'm assuming your Elyse."
"Well that was my Elyse. And that wasn't my girlfriend. She's my English professor." You weren't going to give him too much information. It's not like you two were best friends.
"Oh." He looked at you with intense blue eyes. Made you feel uncomfortable, like your stomach and your pancreas were having a party internally.
"Is that all you wanted?"
"Yes that was all," he grinned. He actually smiled in your presence. It did wonders for his face. "I bet this paper will be ten times better than the first one."
"I think it is." You looked at the clock on the wall behind Timberlake. It was time to go. This conversation with the professor who made you cry was a bit weird. "I have a class to go to."
"Statistics right?" You looked at his face with a look of 'How did you know?' written across it. He answered you. "I remember from last time I held you in class."
"Good memory. If that's all then I'll be going now. Thanks again for the congratulations." You smiled and hitched up your book bag over your shoulder and made your way out of the door with the distinct feeling of a pair of blue eyes following you. You were too chickenshit to find out if he really was.
*`*`*`*`*`*
"I can't believe it will be Thanksgiving tomorrow, Josh. What are your plans for tomorrow? I've got my clothes packed for our trip to my mother-in-law's. Lord bless her but I hope her uncle doesn't come there. Just imagine a ninety-year-old know-it-all. He has a story for every event that ever took place in history," Carlene smiled as she erased the black board.
You chuckled. "Well I've got a small turkey marinating in the fridge. Elyse and I are going to eat at both our house and Joey's house. So we'll be pretty stuffed."
"Good. You can stand to add a little meat to those bones. And I can stand to lose a few of mine," she chuckled as she sat across from you at her desk. "I hope this won't sound presumptuous but is Joey your boyfriend?"
You widened your eyes. "Oh no. Hell no. Joey and I? Just a big plain no." You didn't want to think such thoughts. "How'd you know I was gay anyway?"
"You forgot that I've read your book of poems. I believe 'What He'll Be' was a telling factor. When you start going into size of, well I'll say genitalia, I figured as much. I have no problem with you being gay. That poem was pretty erotic."
You blushed brightly. "Uh, yeah. I was in a, um, mood that day."
"I bet you were." Carlene winked and could tell that you were uncomfortable. She changed the subject. "Oh I forgot to tell you I met your Professor Timberlake. For what you told me about him, I expected for him to be a nerd with big thick glasses and all but was I surprised. He's hot. I met him yesterday and he kept raving about your poem and how much you've grown in the class. He seemed pretty nice. The way he talked about you, I thought you were his favorite student."
"That couldn't be farther from the truth. Yeah, he's not bad looking. But the cute face is a guise." You shrugged. "I guess he must really like my poem. Maybe it will help when he starts to rip my paper apart." You half playfully scowled.
"Oh stop it. That was an A worthy paper. You'll get an excellent grade on it."
"Yes a normal professor might give such a grade. But Timberlake is different."
She arched an eyebrow. "A good different or a bad different?"
You didn't have to think twice. "Bad."
"But you acknowledge that he is cute?" She grinned.
You looked at her weirdly. "Yeah. So?"
"Nothing. Nothing." She smiled at you.
*`*`*`*`*`*
"I know that everyone was expecting their papers this week but I had an unexpected emergency so I apologize. I'll have all of the graded papers available after 4:00 next Wednesday afternoon." The instructor told the class of the new date.
"But that's like two hours after our final." Someone called out in the room.
"That's right. Good for you." Timberlake said monotonously and rolled his eyes. "Sorry if it inconveniences you. I'll leave a box outside my office door and you can come pick them up after the designated time. I have read some of the papers and they were very good." You wonder if he read yours as yet.
Ah well, the paper was second on your list. The final was number one. You couldn't believe that this was the last class. You've survived this far. You looked up to the podium and Timberlake didn't disappoint. His eyes sought yours once again. And blue locked on blue for the umpteenth time. You quickly looked down but couldn't help to think that you might grow to miss the little shared looks between you two but then you wondered why did you even think that.
You wrote down the change in your notebook and looked up and toward the front when the blonde man began to speak about the final. He was still looking at you when you caught his eye. You batted your eyes comically a few times and Timberlake stopped his speech and looked down at his shoes. When he looked up again you could have sworn you saw a slight blush on his face.
You must have imagined it. But when you caught his eyes once again, Timberlake stumbled mid-speech. Peculiar. You looked again at the professor. You think you like him like this. You smirked and decided to test the waters a bit.
"Excuse me?" you called out.
Timberlake looked at you with wide blue eyes, surprise written all over his face. "Yes Mr. Chasez?"
You smiled inwardly at the expression on Timberlake's face. Surprise suited him well. "I was wondering. Will the final be exactly like the rest of the previous exams or what?"
"Well that's a good question, Mr. Chasez. It will be different than a regular exam. Instead of thirty questions there will be seventy-five. Fifty multiple choice questions worth one point each and twenty-five fill-in-the-blank worth two points each." A majority of the class groaned at hearing this. "I'll also have ten bonus questions on there worth a point each. Thanks for asking, Mr. Chasez." He smiled.
Whoa buddy and did he have a smile. You smiled back. "You're welcome," you answered more brightly than usual. Timberlake's eyes twinkled at you and you couldn't help but stare. Then remembered where you were. And who you were looking at. You didn't want him to get the wrong idea. You quickly looked back down to write notes but felt eyes boring into your head. You chose to ignore that little fluttering in your stomach. You figured that it was nerves or something and carried on, afraid to dare look up again. You held one hand over your rolling stomach and wrote with the other.
*`*`*`*`*`*
Finals were a thing of the past and you were relieved. Everything went well. You studied your ass off and even Elyse helped you at nights with your filled out flash cards. You were sure you were getting an A+ from Carlene and A-'s or A's in your other subjects but you were very iffy about psychology. Timberlake was your wild card grade.
You were going to his office to pick up your paper. You went a day later to make sure that you did not have to encounter Timberlake in person. He made you feel…weird. It was different when you were around the younger blonde. You thought about the stares thrown at you from him for the past semester and that staring, and dare you say flirting, that took place on the last day of class. So you decided to wait until Thursday instead of coming to pick up your paper after your final like the rest of the class would do.
You quickly walked into the department of psychology and looked at the sheet of paper that had Timberlake's office number on it. You found the room door closed, thank goodness and the cardboard box was in front of it. You saw that the pile inside was not big. You searched through the pile and frowned. You checked each paper again, throwing each one back in the box if your name did not appear on the front of it. After you threw the last paper in, you still did not have your paper. Where was it?
Damn it you were going to have to knock on Timberlake's door. You almost took back your wishes for the younger man to not be there. After waiting ten minutes, it was obvious to you that he was not there. You sighed heavily. Did someone steal your paper? Was it marked? Did Timberlake miss it? That couldn't be because you personally handed the paper to the man. So where the hell was it?
You looked up and down the empty hall. You tried to listen for any noises that would indicate that someone would be able to help you but it was quiet. Damn it. You looked to see if anyone tacked a notice about missing papers on the door or surrounding doors but there were none. You frowned about it and then decided to search for your missing paper and teacher. As you turned the corner you walked into someone.
"Sorry sir," you apologized at the shorter dark haired man and squinted your eyes while looking at him.
"My bad, kid. You okay?" You nodded. You knew him from somewhere put couldn't quite place it. Then it hit you. He was the professor who performed in drag at the open mic. Timberlake said that was his friend.
"Yeah I'm fine," you smiled shyly. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Are you a student in my class? Are you failing because I really can't raise your grade any higher-"
You quickly cut him off. "No. No. I'm not in any of your classes. I was wondering if you knew Timberlake. You performed at the open mic night a couple of weeks ago?" You hoped he did or else you were screwed about finding out your grade.
"Yeah I do and yes I did. What of it?"
"You see I'm a student in his class and he left out papers in front his office door and my paper is missing. I was wondering if you knew if he had any more left in his office or if he hasn't finished marking all of them yet?"
"Well I know he finished marking all of them. I was there to witness and I'm sure he left all of them out there. Actually that's my office as well, so we could take a look in there. What's your name? I'm Chris, by the way." The older man smiled genially and led you back to the door with the box of papers. He quickly moved the box out of the way and the two of you entered the medium sized office.
The other man walked toward the desk to the right. "I'm Joshua. Joshua-"
This time it was him who cut you off. "Chasez. Joshua Chasez."
You damned your cheeks, which blushed once again. "Yes that's me." You wondered how the man knew you.
"You won the open mic. Job well done. Never seen Justin get so moved before. Kept talking about-" Chris cut himself off as if remembering where he was. The man stared at you briefly, taking you in. "You know you have a way with words," he changed the subject. "Maybe Justin misplaced it or something. You probably aced it anyway." His eyes glittered like they held a secret.
"I doubt it." The man looked on the younger professor's desk, which was meticulously clean. Not a misplaced paper in sight. Chris opened drawers and file cabinets but found nothing. "I'm sorry Josh. I just don't know where it could be. Have you double checked that box?"
"Yes I have." You couldn't help but pout. You really were curious about your grade.
"Well then your grades should be mailed out by the first week in January. I'm sure Justin will be here before then. How about you write a note to him and I'll see that he gets it. Maybe you should put your phone number on there as well just in case, of course." Chris eyes seemed to beam at you when he mentioned you writing down your phone number.
"Sure no problem." You wondered what happened to your paper. Was it so bad that Timberlake trashed it or what? You shook your head and wrote down a note to your psych professor and included your number at the times at which he should call.
"I'll take it for you, Josh. I will definitely make sure he'll get it," he grinned at you. You wondered what that was all about but Chris did dress up in drag. He seemed like a crazy little fellow. He took the paper with your information and smiled brightly.
You smiled briefly back and nodded. "Right then. Thank you Chris."
"Not a problem Joshua. Not a problem at all." Chris smiled. "I'm sure you'll get your paper back real soon. I'm almost positive you received an excellent grade." Okay it was time to leave this office because you had a feeling that Chris was either crazy or had a big secret. You waved him off and left- silently wondering about the sanity of Chris, your missing paper and what would you do if Timberlake called you.
*`*`*`*`*`*
You and Elyse were adding more Christmas decorations to your Christmas tree. Every year you ended up with a theme but somehow last minute shopping also means buying all of the unnecessary ornaments you could afford. And that extra $500 was a big help to making your Christmas tree nearly topple over from the added balls.
"It looks like it's missing something," Elyse lisped from her perch on the living room sofa.
You moved from the side of the lit tree and stood by her to survey the tree for your self. Beads, glass globes, wooden figures or tinsel covered each branch. But even though the tree was past saturated, there seemed to be something missing.
"You know I think your right Elyse. We never did put on those nutcrackers, how about I go get them from upstairs."
"Okay," Elyse smiled in reply.
You turned and padded through the short hallway and up the stairs. You knew you placed the box of nutcracker soldiers inside the upstairs hallway closet and as you placed your hand on the handle, the doorbell rang.
"Don't open the door, Elyse," you called out but it was muffled because you hurriedly stepped inside the closet to get the box. You weren't expecting anyone tonight, so you weren't sure as to who could be outside.
"I'll get it Josh!" Elyse called out from downstairs.
"No!" You called out and quickly closed the closet door. You ran downstairs and turned the corner to see Elyse opening the door.
Elyse looked up at the tall blonde man on her doorstep. She knew the man from somewhere. "Ooh, I know you. You were checking my brother out at the open mic in the back. Are you gay? My brother is and-"
You quickly cut Elyse from her matchmaking efforts. "Elyse! You know better to open the door without checking or asking me if it was okay! Besides this is Professor Timberlake," you introduced the man to the girl and were in the process to walk toward the girl and ever-staring man.
"You're Josh's psych professor?" Elyse asked and squinted her eyes at the man.
Justin smiled at the girl. "Yes I am and you must be- OW!" Justin hopped on one foot while holding his injured shin. Elyse quickly was in the process to kick the man again in his other leg but you quickly pulled her back from him and frowned.
"Elyse! Apologize!" You looked angrily at the red-faced girl.
"No I'm not!" Elyse quickly steamed. "He's mean, Josh! And he made you cry! He deserved it! Let me get him again!" Elyse struggled in your arms to attack the still hopping man again.
"No! Here take this box and go in the living room, young lady! Put the ornaments on the tree and stay in there until I come back. Do you hear me?" You sternly ordered the still angry girl.
The girl silently took the box from your hand and glared at your injured teacher and stomped her way into the living room.
You sighed heavily and turned toward the open front door where Timberlake bent over rubbing his shin. "I'm so sorry. She's not usually so violent. Are you okay?" You hoped he wasn't seriously injured. You walked and stood in front of the man. You rubbed your shoulders as a gust of cold wind hit you in the chest.
"Not a problem, Josh. She packs a hell of a kick," Timberlake grimaced. You felt your stomach slightly flip at hearing your professor call you by your first name. He never did until then. "I made you cry?" Timberlake pouted.
And your cheeks lit up right on time. "Um, I guess so." You looked bashfully down at your socked feet and then remembered that this was your house and damn it there was no need to get all bashful around him.
He looked intently at you and his cheeks pinked, from the weather or from blushing, you weren't too sure but it suited him fine. "I'm so sorry if I did make you, uh, you know cry. I tend to be a jerk a lot of the times." He looked down and took in your appearance. Since you were home, you dressed down in a pair of gray baggy sweats and long sleeved white t-shirt. He gaped at your chest a little longer than usual and looked up at you. "Uh, could I come in? It's kind of cold out here."
"Sure. Sure. Sorry about that," you stood out of the way and let the younger man pass by you. "I must ask though Timberlake, I mean, Professor as to why you are here?" You stared politely back at the concentrated stare Timberlake had on you.
"I wanted to give you your paper back." The man took a rolled up paper out of his black wool coat pocket and handed it to you, making sure that the both of you brushed hands. And the tingle in your stomach as well as your cheeks set aflame once again.
"Thanks Professor." You wanted to look at your paper but preferred not to have an audience namely Timberlake while you did read your grade.
"Oh I'm not your professor anymore, Josh. I'd love for you to call me Justin." He smiled. "I actually-" Justin stopped as he noticed Elyse glowering from behind you, obviously not putting the decorations on the tree. "Um could we speak somewhere a little more privately," Justin asked while smiling at your sister from behind you.
You turned and saw Elyse quickly pretend as if she weren't glaring at the younger man and walked further into the living room. You turned back to Timber- Justin and smiled. "Uh, sure. How about the kitchen?" You walked in front of the blonde and wondered what else was there to talk about as you led him towards the kitchen. You swore you heard a quiet moan from Justin as he walked behind you but you probably imagined it.
"Have a seat?" You pointed at the five chaired oak table. "Would you like something to drink? I could make some tea or hot cocoa?"
"Um whatever you'll drink, Josh I'll have too," Justin grinned as he sat down on a chair. He watched you flit back and forth to get the kettle off of your stove and fill it with water and then placing the filled kettle back onto the stove.
"Hot cocoa it is," you smiled and to your surprise found Justin was staring at your backside. Justin turned red and looked at his folded hands on the table top. "Um you wanted to talk to me more privately?" You walked to the table and sat across from your instructor.
"Right Josh." He sounded nervous. "I held your paper for a reason. I thought you were going to show up on Wednesday but you didn't. I waited all afternoon for you to show." He looked up from his hands and into your eyes. "I wanted to talk to you about your paper."
"You did?" You gulped. "Was it that bad?" You asked worriedly.
"No, no, no." Justin shook his head vehemently. "Your paper was wonderful. I gave you an A+. I thought we could-" He broke off rather abruptly and grabbed your right hand. "Josh…I like you. A lot." He finished off awkwardly and blushed. "But I didn't give you that A just because I like you. You really deserved it," he finished earnestly.
You started to curl your hand in his but then quickly jerked back. "You're my professor, Timberlake. You can't like me."
"Justin," he staunchly reminded you. "I'd love to hear you say Justin. I'm not your professor anymore. I gave in your grades yesterday. And after I waited for you the other day, I hounded your English professor if she knew your address. I had to give you your paper and see you again."
"And Carlene gave it to you?"
"I had her persuaded. She said that I better be nice to you because she had your number and she'd find out. Was I really that horrible?" Justin pouted.
You stared back him, reeling for the information thrown at you. You honestly answered, "Yes, you were. You made me feel…" you weren't sure if you should finish your statement.
"Yes? You feel?"
The kettle's whistle thankfully cut your response. You pushed away from the table and went to turn off the kettle. You opened up the cabinet in front of you and took out the cocoa mix box. You whirled around and told Justin how you felt, now that a good distance was between you two. "I feel…" You chuckled at your self sarcastically and then finished. "I feel weird. Like you do that staring thing during class and still manage to be a shit to me. You make me feel like stupidity at its greatest one day and then the next day you make googly eyes at me." You huffed out and watched the man who was also watching and seemingly holding onto every word you said.
"I'm sorry. I can't apologize to you enough for being like that. I. I thought that if maybe I were a hardass it wouldn't be as bad, you know? I remember the first day of class. I sat next to you and that girl kept talking about me and I really wished I were a student. You were so nice from day one. And I'm sorry for what I put you through. Can you forgive me?"
You gazed at Justin for a few minutes, the silence speaking volumes between the two of you. You sighed and turned your back to him. You gathered three mugs and set them in front of you. As you prepared the cocoa in each cup, you talked to Justin with your back to him. "How'd you know I was gay?"
"Well at the café when you read your poem, Elyse and I'm guessing and hoping a friend of yours were standing in the back by my table. Elyse kept commenting on how I'd make a cute boyfriend for you and that I kept checking you out. Your friend tried to quiet her down but I happened to overhear." Justin smiled at your back. You knew he was. You could hear it in his voice.
"Yeah Joey's a friend. He's my best friend in fact," you filled him in. "You were checking me out huh?" You asked while walking toward the fridge to get some milk and cream. You saw Justin's blue eyes flash at you.
"Yes, you're beautiful," he gushed and then folded his hands again on the table top. He quickly looked back down at them.
Your stomach did a full out flip flop at hearing him call you beautiful. You never heard that before. "You do? Well you're not so bad your self." You poured both milk and cream in each mug and sprinkled some cinnamon as well. You mixed and smiled to yourself.
You walked to the table and placed a steaming mug in front of Justin. "Thanks."
"You're welcome…Justin," you smirked. "One sec." You walked back to the counter and took another mug of cocoa, intent on giving the mug to Elyse. After you came back into the kitchen, you noticed Justin took you mug and placed it next to his on the table."
"To save you the trip," he grinned.
"Thanks Justin."
"I love how you say it."
"Say what?"
"My name," he gazed earnestly into your eyes. You stopped in your tracks and blushed once again for the night.
"I don't know what to say to that." You quickly sat back down in your seat and he placed his hand in yours. You couldn't help folding your hand over his. It felt right somehow.
"Well I like you. Is there any possibility that you might dig this prick?" He smirked.
"Well after explaining to Elyse that there was no need to kick your ass, literally. I've decided to listen to what you have to say. I think I could like you as well." You quickly grabbed your cup and took a sip.
Justin trailed his finger in your palm. "That's good to know. How about we go on a date? The three of us?"
You widened your eyes at that tidbit. "You want Elyse with us too? That's not a problem?"
"No. I think it's good if she got to know me as well. I think this way she won't want to kick me as much. Plus I really need to see you again. I'm teaching at Pinkly College downtown next semester instead of Gibbons and I need to make sure I see you again."
You beamed. “Then you won't be breaking any school policies by seeing me."
"A smart man is what you are, Josh. I really am sorry."
"That's alright. I forgive you. We can go out on a date. The three of us."
Justin squeezed your hand at hearing that. "Really? Great." He brought your palm to his lips and kissed it. "You know you never told me about what happened to you that morning? What made you late?"
You smirked, "Well if you stick around after our third date, I just might tell you." You winked.
The End