Cue: Cheesy Music.
"Welcome to the Price Is Right! I'm your announcer, Justin Timberlake!" The audience roared to a loud intense pitch at hearing Justin's voice, knowing that three lucky people would be called from the audience and become contestants on the longest running game show in history.
"Out of all these people, I will choose three lucky people randomly to have a chance of winning cash and prizes!" He chirped and the crowd yelled to a higher pitch. "Our first contestant," Justin called out over the blearing cheesy music, "is Joey Fatone! Joey come on down!"
The camera searched the audience for the lucky contestant and found a tall man being group hugged by similar looking heavyset men . Must be family. All were wearing the colors of the Italian flag on their shirts with their first name scrawled across it. A smiling bearded man made his way from his family and grabbed his crotch for the camera. "Hey Mama!" He yelled into the camera and ran his way down the aisle to stand at the first podium in Contestant Row.
"Hmm." Justin couldn't believe the man could grab himself lewdly one second and the next shout out to his mother. "How charming. The next contestant is Christopher Kirkpatrick! Chris c'mon down!" A high-pitched squeak was heard of the thunderous din. "What in the hell is that?"
The camera searched for the source of the high pitched mouse-like squeal and found the person. He was a short, pudgy man wearing a yellow crop top and matching shorts. He was Richard Simmons revamped. He waved animatedly at the camera and was currently being hugged by burly, bearded women who wore bright colored clothes.
"Damn," the announcer said over the blearing corny theme song.
"I'm Christopher!" He yelled in an effeminate voice. "I'm him." He waved his dainty, hairy hands in the air and skipped his way down in his white leather Keds, next to Joey.
"And wow." Justin looked bewildered. He stared unblinkingly into the camera and then drew the next name and felt his stomach turn cold. "You've got to be kidding me." He looked into the camera with his blue eyes ablaze and revealed the last contestant. "Jessica B. Chasez."
A woman walked away from an aisle. She didn't smile or shake anyone's hand. She looked directly into the camera with her forest green eyes and flicked her inky black hair. "Hello Justin," she said in a bored tone. She didn't know the man but the two did share a common bond.
People tried to hug the woman but she quickly moved out of their enthusiastic way. "Please don't touch me. You might wrinkle my Prada," she smiled but it never reached her cold eyes.
"Our host's ex-wife folks," Justin made known quickly. He never met the bitch that continued to try and bleed Joshua dry. Luckily, she never won anything during or after their divorce but she still called the host and tried to reconcile or get him to buy her a gift. "Fucking hooch," Justin mumbled to himself.
The woman made her way in her black stiletto heels to the front, amidst the catcalls, to the front. She pushed and pulled her body in her tight black suit and seemed to carry a smirk on her face for the entire time. Joey tried to touch her and Christopher didn't even glance her way. He was too busy putting on his yellow and white headband that had a big 'Lemon Jolly Rancher loves J.C.' sticker with the host's grinning face on there as well.
Cheesy music blearing at full blast.
"And here's our host of our long running game show, The Price is Right. The lovely, the incredible, the magnanimous, the incomparable Joshua Chasez!" Justin screamed enthusiastically into the microphone.
The host walked to the stage from the left side and smiled. He waved to the crowd in his pink shirt and dark gray suit, fluffing his almost shoulder length chocolate waves with the other hand. "Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!" He greeted the enthralled crowd. He brought the long rod microphone closer to his mouth and smiled for the camera.
"Josh! Josh! Josh!" The crowded chanted.
Joshua waved his hands in the air to settle the audience down. "Please stop it," he asked bashfully. "How about a round of applause for our show's announcer, Justin Timberlake." The crowd clapped for the man who sat in the box on the back wall.
"Thank you Josh." Justin said.
"Oh you're most welcome Justin." He winked and the crowd went wild once again. "Shall we have a round of applause for our first set of contestants?" Joshua looked down to the floor where the contestant row was located, taking a look for the first time. Joshua nearly swallowed the small head of his microphone when he saw the last contestant. He thought his mind was playing evil tricks on him but he'll deal with that in due time.
"So let's meet our first contestant shall we? Now I'm a little perturbed because your name tag says 'Joey' but on your shirt it says Steve." The host directed his question to the smiling man.
"Oh that's easy to explain, there Josh," the man drawled in a thick New York accent. "I'm Joey Fatone. My family is there in the back. We've been fans for years. And I dirtied my shirt this morning when taking a fourth trip down the continental breakfast bar at our hotel. Unfortunately that was my last shirt. We had cleared out the Barbeque All You Can Eat buffet the other night so I had to borrow my brother's, Steve, shirt."
Joshua nodded slowly and looked up at the roaring Fatone family in the center aisle. He cleared his throat nervously and grinned briefly. "How fascinating. Hello Fatones!" The family jumped and down causing a slight rumble in the floor.
"I have a sister, Josh. She's stacked man. She'd be able to do you at anytime you'd want." He offered and smiled. His sister shrieked and jumped for the man, flashing her chest much to Josh's horror.
Josh shook his head politely but Justin answered for him. "He doesn't want her. Thank you very much!"
"Are you sure because she can be available anytime of the day or night."
"Nope that's quite alright!" Justin broadcasted loudly.
"Thank you for the offer but I'm fine in that department. How about we learn more about our second contestant, Chris. Tell us a little bit about yourself. I see you have quite a sticker on your headband. Who or what is Lemon Jolly Rancher?"
Chris batted his eyelashes and shimmied his tubby chest. "Hi Joshua!" He gushed in one breath. "I'm Lemon Jolly Rancher! In fact, me and my girls are the Rancho Cucamonga Jolly Ranchers. We all chose our favorite flavor and decided to represent the candy. We have Grape," a six foot hairy woman shot through the air wearing a purple mini. "And Orange," an even taller and hairier woman towered over the first monstrosity and wiggled her sagging breasts that were currently lying on the floor.
Joshua couldn't help but mutter, "Oh good Lord."
"And Green Apple," an even taller woman than the first two women (if you'd like to specify them as such) cawed like a crow in her lime green midriff. Fortunately, the midriff covered two of her six bellies. Joshua was stunned into silence. "And Cherry and Watermelon, they are twins." The two women were well above seven feet, one adorned in a red bikini top and the other in a pink one. They appeared to have grizzle stuck in their long beards and moustaches.
"Hi!" They yelled and bent over to flash Joshua unwanted skin.
He couldn't help but say a small, "Eek!"
"And that's our little Jolly Rancher crew. We do everything together, work out, eat, talk, and play canasta. We are always looking for new members. Josh we even made you a headband. You are our official mystery flavor." Christopher pulled a white braided headband, similar to his, and held it up for the host to take.
Joshua graciously took the piece of cloth and tried to push it into a pocket but the headband was too thick to fit. He lifted up his buttoned jacket and flashed his clothed horse cock. The entire front row, members from a local high school cheerleading squad, fainted from the shock.
"Hey Josh! Cover up!" Justin ordered and scowled.
"Sorry," he blushed. "And lastly, our third contestant." The host rolled his eyes. "Jessica. What are you doing here? I remember having a restraining order against you."
She arched a perfectly arched eyebrow and smirk. In a cold tone, "Why Joshua you make it sound as if you wouldn't want me here. And you and I both know how untrue that is. It's been a year and three months, Joshie Poo," she said in a mocking tone. "Don't you miss me a little?"
"Not a fucking second." Justin growled.
"Ooh Josh, I think you need to put a muzzle on that bitch up there," she smirked. "Good help is hard to find these days and it would be a shame if a law suit turned up because he can't keep his mouth shut."
"Jessica," Joshua said in a pleading tone, "I don't know how you weaseled your way onto the show but fine you are here. But let me tell you something, Justin is the announcer. He announces. That is his job. Unless he physically harms you, you can't sue him."
"Whore! I am announcing that Jessica B, and the B is for Big Bitch, is a mega whore!" Justin yelled. She screwed her face up and growled into the mic.
"Let's start shall we?"
"I haven't been introduced, Josh. I thought that was the rule."
"You've taken more than enough time here Jessica. Besides, everyone here already knows who you are. The long drawn court battle was the highlight of the newspapers and tabloids thanks to you." He smiled bitterly.
"Money grubbing skank!" Justin stewed.
"Let's play the Price is Right!" The crowd roared and clapped wildly. "Our lovely lad showcasing our products is none other than Lance Bass."
The crowd applauded and cheered while Justin booed. A blonde and buff man swished his hips onto the stage wearing a black sheer dress and a silver thong. He pushed a red velvet cart and made sure to rub himself against the host's backside.
"Watch yourself Lance!" Justin glared. Lance always went far and beyond to catch Josh's eye. But thankfully Joshua gave up taking dips into the tawdry and cheap.
"You're not going to be around all the time Justin," Lance bent his head over Josh's mic. The bleached blonde distastefully closed his mouth over the microphone head and groaned. "Anytime you want a real man to take a crack on your long dong, you call me anytime." He licked his lips and hovered his mouth around Josh's nose. He was about to lick it but Justin threw his loafer at the man.
Josh cringed, "Ew. Fish?" Bass's breath was terrible.
The shoe bounced off Bass's ass and flew all the way to the Fatone family. One of Fatone men didn't know what to do but what came naturally. He ate the shoe in mid air.
Lance swished in the ladies' apparel and stood to the side of the cart. "Ready whenever you are."
"Fucking half a cent hoe!" Justin then began his description of the unveiled product. "This is a 2004 turbo jet top of the line Pocket Rocket Shock-It. This twelve inched, two and a half inched diameter, and stainless steel vibrator comes with its own jet fuel for hours upon hours of fun. It was even tested out before the show." Joshua looked down at his shiny shoes. "It's durable, sturdy and feels like heaven when slid in with the proper amount of lube, also included. This puppy can be available to you in the upcoming months thanks to Cockette Company." Lance flailed his hands over the instrument and stuck the head of the vibrator in his mouth to show its magnificence.
"Um, how about we start bidding? Lance stop sucking off the product." The blonde reluctantly took his mouth off the rod and licked his lips for one last try to entice the brunette. This time when Justin threw his shoe it caught Lance's head. The blonde flipped Justin the bird and sauntered off stage.
"Take that you bitch! Step off!" Justin growled. Josh looked calmly at the back, glancing at the announcer and Justin shut up in mid rant.
"The contestant with the equal bid or closest to actual price of the product without going over will win. So Joey how much are you going to say the Pocket Rocket Shock-It costs?" Joshua asked. He was the picture of serenity.
Joey looked at the microphone in front of him and then at his jumping family behind him. Joshua held onto the velvet cart, to keep from tumbling off the stage. The vibrations from the jumping family would be at least a 5.1 on the Ritcher scale. "Ummm...well I guess I'll say. Ummm. Well. Ummm. I never leaned past the number 59 so ummm. I guess I'll say 59."
Joshua smiled down at the man, "Will that be dollars or cents?"
"Ummmm. I think ummmm." The crowd chanted "dollars" but Joey looked deep in concentration. "I think. I think I'll go with dollars."
"Well God damn." Justin sighed into the mic.
"Great." The host smiled patiently. "Chris what would you like to bid?"
He looked back at his Jolly Ranchers crew and the he-she's were yelling and growling. It was hard to decipher what the beasts were saying so he was on his own. "Um I go with 300 dollars."
Joshua was a little nervous when he smiled. The Jolly Ranchers were hooting and hollering a little too much for his comfort. "Thanks and Jessica?" His face lost his sparkle when he looked at his ex-wife.
"I'll say one dollar. It's obvious these fools are far off. Can't wait to join you honey," she drawled sarcastically.
"Over my dead body!" Justin clucked. His upper lip was sweating from all the tension.
Joshua just shook his head and read his index card. "And the retail value is...sixty one dollars. Joey you are the winner of this round, come on up."
Joey looked around dumbly. He stood there and whistled to himself. People were cheering for him and his family had the building jumping. The man kept whistling to himself and rocked back and forth.
"Hey dumbass! Get the fuck up on the stage! Joey that means you!" Justin announced angrily. There always seemed to be a dumb one every fucking week.
"Ooh!" He plodded his way to the stage, injuring his finger when he tried to grope Jessica's boob. The woman easily bent his finger backwards. He shook Josh's hand and then whispered in his ear, "I see why you divorced her dude. She won't even let you cop a feel. Bitch."
"Hey are you trying to hook up with Josh?" Justin asked loudly from his podium. He held a blunt object in his hand warningly. Joey shook his head quickly. He definitely did not want to incite the announcer's wrath.
Joshua either posessed the super power of ignoring the objects and threats coming from Justin's way or he was oblivious, either way he still had a show to host. "So Joey here is the game we're going to play." The crowd screamed. A large colorful door opened and revealed a new car. Unfortunately, Lance was not deterred. The anxious blonde laid on the red SUV in a matching thong with his ass stuck high into the air. He was lying on the hood of the car face first and grunting like a beast in heat. He had a bottle of lube in one hand and his other on his crotch.
"Do I have to bid on a prostitute? I say two dollars." Joey answered gleefully. He was sure he won the car now.
"This ass isn't for you, Joey. I'll admit you are cute. For three dollars, you can have a ride after Mr. Chasez. For him my ass is free all the time!" Lance grunted into the hood and wiggled his scantily clad behind once again.
"Goddamnit Bass!! Remove your skeezer ass off the car and away from Josh!" Justin arched his hand, prepared to throw the black metal box in his hand.
Lance stood up on the hood of the vehicle and waved his hands in anger. "Stop trying to foil my plans Justin! Joshua will be mine! For half an hour I'll rock his world!"
Justin flung the box Lance's way. "Tramp!" The box traveled quite a distance but the object was not off its target. Lance got clocked in the eye and he fell to the ground behind the prize.
"Now I'm going to give you the first number in the prize of the car." The number 2 was revealed. "Now there are 4 more digits in the car. For every price you get right of the following items I will show you, you will get one more number closer to your car. You only have one card to allow you to miss a number one time. Get the other 4 numbers in the price of the car and it will be yours. Do you think you have it?"
"Nope not really but I'm willing to try." Joey answered honestly. He thought he was going to lose but the items that he had to guess the price for were none other than food. He shouted out the prices for the food before Josh even read the product's name. The SUV was Joey's. "Do I get the food too?"
Joshua never got asked such a question. "Uh, sure I guess." Joey grabbed the box of frozen pizza and tucked in as he walked off the stage.
"It's time to pick another contestant. Isn't it, Justin?" Joshua asked the blonde announcer.
"It sure is Joshua." He read the name of the next contestant and couldn't believe his eyes. Today was unbelievable. First the Mega Bitch and now her? "Kya Kumms c'mon down!"
Joshua looked straight up at the announcer's box like a deer caught in headlights. He hoped and prayed he heard wrong. Because if he didn't, he was sure a bitch fight would be ensued. "What?" He whispered as if in pain.
"WHAT?" Jessica bellowed. "You've got to be fucking joking me!" She roared over the din.
A platinum blonde wiggled her ample tits for the camera and moved through her aisle. Many men groped her buxom body and the girl had no problem with it. When she finally exited the row the camera got to really see all that was Kya. She waved for the camera and smiled over the catcalls. She was dressed in a baby pink bra and matching micro shorts. "Hi!" She waved to happy cameraman in a babyish voice. She made her way to the contestants' row, with the help of the cameraman because otherwise she would have lost her way.
"I refuse to have this...this...HOMEWRECKER in the same vicinity as me!" Jessica bellowed. "I can not believe the cause for our divorce is standing so close to me!"
"Hi Joshua baby! I missed you so much!" Kya squeaked in her baby voice. "I've missed your big cock so much!"
"Kya!" Joshua blushed, embarrassed as hell.
"I refuse to play with your ex-mistress Joshua! She's a tramp to the fullest degree!" Jessica's green eyes looked they were ready to shoot daggers.
"Watch how you talk to Joshua, Kya! You'll end up just like Bass!" Justin warned. He wasn't above beating the bitch down. He knew Kya was the woman Joshua had cheated with when he was married to Jessica. The operative word being 'had'. He'd like Kya to remain his ex.
"I'd suck you off too Justin. It's been two hours since I had a threesome." Kya winked saucily. She thought the announcer was pretty hot as well. "I can make my toes touch my ears. Remember Joshie? I can show you again if you want?"
"No, no. That's quite alright Kya. How about we play the game?"
"Does it involve whipped cream? I'm good at that!" Kya nodded her head enthusiastically.
"I bet you are, you hussy!" Jessica was still sore from being cheated on by the blonde twit. Kya was the reason why she wasn't enjoying the Chasez millions now. The raven-haired woman raised her claw like nails and was ready to scratch the blonde's eyes out but she caught Chris instead. The stubby man screeched but luckily she didn't draw blood. Unluckily, Cherry and Watermelon came up to the front to stare Jessica down. The woman politely shut the fuck up and smoothed her black suit. "Sorry." She said meekly.
"Let's bid shall we?"
Lance, wearing his red thong still, rolled a wooden cart this time while sporting a black eye. He held an ice pack to his eye but when he reached Josh his quickly rubbed the ice over his nipples. "Oh Josh you make so horny!"
"Josh," Kya played with her fake breasts. "You do too," she moaned.
Justin had to resort to his fruit basket. He threw an apple at Lance's other eye and a bunch of grapes at Kya's chest. "I said back off of Josh! He's not interested!" The fruit bounced off the woman's cleavage and Cherry caught it in its mouth. Watermelon had to jump in the air onstage when catching the apple. It rolled down Lance's chest and Watermelon nearly bit Lance's nipple off.
"How about we bid?" Josh asked. He walked to the cart Lance left behind. "Justin what do we have here?" Joshua looked into the cart and knew the product personally.
"This is Vita Lube 2005, Josh." Justin purred into the mic. "This clear, light, luminescent liquid can lubricate the driest of cracks! Its sensuous silky substance can help aid lovemaking ten times fold than any other brand of lube or ice cream." This time Justin blushed as well. "It's top of the line Joshua. It's lightweight and is about a gallon in volume. It can definitely last for, hmmm about a week for the most horniest of couples." Joshua nodded his head and looked at his shoes. "And the contestants can bid now."
"So Kya?" Joshua looked to the blonde woman, who was currently wrapping her hair around her finger. "How much do you think this product is?"
Kya took out a stick of gum and chewed. She yawned and then dug into the back of her shorts' pocket. She took out a used condom and flung it into the air.
"Ew. Cooties!" Chris shrieked and then nervously looked up at the host.
"Kya?" Joshua began sweetly.
"Yes Josh?" She giggled girlishly.
"You have to bid."
She blinked quite a few times and then said, "Oh." She then remembered. She was looking for something in her shorts pocket before but Chris had distracted her. She began her journey through the tight material and found her tube of bubble gum pink lipstick. She applied it onto her lips and then smiled.
"You have to bid now, husband stealer!" Jessica screeched and beat Justin to the punch.
"Josh baby. Why does she have to call me names?" Kya pouted and batted her unnaturally long eyelashes.
Joshua sighed. He knew he would have to explain to the girl. Kya made an excellent mistress but she wouldn't be winning any IQ points in the near century. "You have to guess a price for the bottle of lube."
"Lube? We're going to have that threesome after all?" She asked hopefully.
"Listen hoe, don't make me come down there!" Justin yelled.
"But I thought that was the whole point. I'd love for you to go down on me Justin!" She smiled brightly.
"Please! As if I'd eat fish!" Justin looked like he was ready to dry heave.
"Kya honey just a number. Tell me a number." Joshua asked patiently.
"Three. Like a threesome!" She really did have a one-track mind. The number three appeared on her board.
"Chris? How about you?" Joshua asked.
Cherry was still in the front row. She was sniffing Jessica out. She grunted while chewing on Josh's ex-wife's hair, "Urg Eighteen Dollars!" The woman-man beast shouted.
"I'll say eighteen dollars, Joshua." Chris rubbed his sticker for good luck.
Jessica wanted to say seventeen dollars but she was afraid of Cherry taking a chunk out of her. "I'll say a million."
Joshua asked, "Are you sure?"
"Goddamnit yes already! I said a fucking number! Use it! Just move the fuck on quickly!" She snapped.
"Okay." Joshua shrugged. He read his index card. The retail price for our product is twenty-two dollars! Chris you are the winner!"
Chris jumped gleefully into the air. His Jolly Ranchers were overexcited as well. Cherry jumped into the air as well but forgot she had Jessica's hair in her mouth and she took a chunk out. Chris shook his flabby ass up the stairs and onto the stage. He patted Joshua's chest and then passed out from getting to touch his idol/crush.
When the man came to, he looked dreamily into Joshua's blue-gray eyes. "Oh my gosh, did I faint?"
"Not exactly. A pineapple hit you in the back of the head."
"And it will again if you don't keep your hands off m-the man!" Justin waved a watermelon in his hands.
"I got you! Hands off." Chris said worriedly. He looked to his Jolly Ranchers for help but Justin had distracted them with a live moose. They were currently chomping on his antlers.
The host tapped Chris. "We are going to play a matching game." A large door revealed a barbeque grill and Lance, decked out in pasted on jewels on his crotch. "Do you know the rules of the game?"
Chris was prepared to say yes but then changed his mind. He wanted to hear the sound of his crush's voice. "No." He answered coyly.
"Well each, I guess, they're each products."
"They are!" Justin added.
"Well each product has three digits in their price. I will give six numbers and you will have to fill up either product first. Whichever price you fill up, the product is yours." A six, zero, five, one, nine and another zero were revealed.
"Well I do need a grill, seeing as how my Jolly Ranchers are covered in raw moose meat." Chris thought out loud and skipped in place.
"Please stop that skipping! No one wants your saggy ass!" Justin screeched.
"I'd do you!" Lance licked his own nipple while looking at Chris.
Chris scratched his hairy beer belly in horror. "No thanks. I'll say one, Josh!" The number one lit up over Lance's head. "Damn. Okay how about zero?" The number lit up over Lance's head, before the number one. "Oh no. How about nine?" The nine lit up over the grill. "Great. How about the other zero?" The zero lit up over Lance's head. It came before the zero. A decimal point went between the 2 zeroes, making Lance's price, "0.01"
"Ha ha! You're a one cent whore like I told you!" Justin chuckled.
Chris walked unenthusiastically with his prize offstage.
"Time for another contestant, isn't it Justin?" Joshua asked. The crowd screamed loudly in anticipation. This was their last chance at becoming a contestant.
"You're correct as usual, Joshua. How about... my eyes must be blurred. I couldn't have read this correctly. Nikki NoNo c'mon down," he said in a monotone voice.
People looked excitedly around the audience to see the lucky contestant while Joshua blanched. "You've got to be kidding me."
A redheaded woman moved away from a back aisle. Her brown eyes glimmered when she watched Joshua shiver nervously. She made her way to the center aisle. The woman was dressed from the neck down in black patent leather. Her six-inched matching platform high heels clunked as she made her way forward. She held a black whip in her hand. "Nuh-uh Joshua. What did you forget to say?"
"You've got to be kidding me, Mistress." He gulped. He never regretted not seeing his ex-dominatrix in the past year. He went to Nikki while he was with Kya. He had to leave Jessica because she was a money grubbing, bitchy bitch. So he went to Kya. But while Kya was very flexible and always ready for action, he felt like something was missing so he though maybe if he added a little S & M to the mix all would be solved. Those were the most excruciating three months his life. He thought the yearlong divorce battle was hard but that was a piece of cake compared to Nikki's games of bondage and hot wax.
"On your knees," Nikki cracked her whip. Joshua complied all too easily. It was second nature to obey the woman. "Good boy!"
"You actually slept with her too Josh?" Jessica didn't know whether to laugh or pity her ex-husband. "I could have beaten your ass for free."
Nikki looked to the left of her, "I don't believe I gave you permission to talk. You need a couple of lessons with Nikki. She'll hurt you into shape." Jessica wasn't sure she could fight the woman. The whip looked pretty scary.
Justin wanted to yell at the redhead but he was scared of the woman as well.
"I think I have a cucumber in my car, Josh. If you're a naughty boy, I'll go get it. Now twist your nipples for me and bring out the next product!" She ordered.
Joshua complied and twisted the nubs. "Yes mistress."
"Josh I thought I was your mistress?" Kya pouted prettily. "Do you need any help baby?"
The man ignored the blonde woman and watched Nikki for his next instruction. "Joshua. Just because I think the twit is getting off on your display, you may stop. But get on your knees."
Joshua complied once again. "Yes mistress."
Lance walked out. This time he was just fully naked. Third time might be a charm, the skanky blonde man hoped. "Ooh Joshua, you're on your knees already, Daddy? I have a nice Lance stick for you. It's nice and juicy." He pushed the cart holding the new product behind the host.
Justin couldn't restrain himself. He threw the entire basket of fruit at the man. He knocked Lance out cold. Chris actually pranced onto the stage and collected the unconscious man. It seemed that he has grown attached to his prize.
Justin looked at Joshua on his knees and he couldn't help but get a little hot. He then looked at the description of the product he was to announce and he got even hotter. "This product is a hand crafted glass dildo. It was shaped by a famous glassmaker and curved at a slight angle to perfection. This tool can easily excite the weakest of prostates. It's durable, has a long life and can easily be cleaned for more erotic fun." The glass rod gleamed. It was fourteen inches of fun and its girth was astounding. It could make a cock pro nervous.
"Permission to speak, mistress?" Joshua asked, still on his knees.
"Permission granted, bitch!" Nikki snarled to the man.
Joshua, still on his knees, asked Kya, "How much will you bid, Kya?"
"Do I have to do the number thingy again, baby?" She inquired.
"Yes Kya."
"But I've rode on that dildo before." She stated matter-of-factly.
"I bet you have," Jessica snorted. "Unfortunately, you walking and talking STD, you are supposed to state one of those," Jessica made her voice up to resemble the childish-like quality of Kya's, "Number thingies."
"Well I want one." She was talking about the glass rod but since the show didn't have time to waste, the number one showed up on Kya's board.
"Mistress how much do you think it is?"
"I say 200 dollars, bitch boy. Why don't you play with yourself for me? Touch that donkey dick of yours. Don't take it out but play."
"Yes mistress." Josh slid his hands in his pants. He wasn't thinking about Nikki or Kya or Jessica as he groped his massive penis. He flicked his cock head and moaned.
The entire row of women contestants' mouths watered.
Nikki cracked her whip. "Did I tell you to moan?"
"No mistress." He continued his ministrations, biting his lips from making any grunts.
"Leave Joshua alone." Justin whispered weakly. He didn't like seeing Josh touching himself so openly but he couldn't lie to himself. The view was definitely crotch tingling.
"Then don't before I make you shove that mic up your asshole." Her eyes glittered. She was enjoying the sight too much.
"Yes mistress. Jessica?" His cock stirred in his pants. It was working itself to a full erection.
She forgot to speak and then remembered the game. "I say 201 dollars."
"Permission to take out index card, Mistress?" Joshua's face was getting flushed.
"Permission granted slut! How much does Nikki's cock whore love touching his cock?" She purred.
Joshua felt his pants crotch bite into his arousal. He had to stop touching himself or he'd make Nikki get the cucumber. He shook his fist inside his pants to make it seem as if he was jerking himself off. "The price is," he faked a breathy voice, "$259. Jessica you are the winner. C'mon up."
The black haired woman clapped for herself and smirked as she climbed her way onto the stage. "Take that slut!" She crowed triumphantly to Kya. Kya was too busy being ogled by the Fatone men to even notice. It was hard concentrating on chewing your gum and listening at the same time. Jessica stood over the still kneeling and pretending to be jerking man. "Well Joshua here we are."
"You have permission to speak Joshua!" Nikki was currently groping a hunky dark haired cameraman. "What's your name? You remind me of Josh! C'mere let me feel you out. See if you got something I can work with. Present your cock now!" She slapped him hard on his chiseled chest. "Now I didn't tell you to put the camera down." She ripped his shirt open and Kya nearly came in her nonexistent panties. She had lost them some time earlier that morning.
"Can I have a taste?" She moaned. Kya liked hard bodies. The two women played with the man while Jessica argued with Joshua.
"I'm telling you one more time Jessica. I have that restraining order against you for a reason. You have to maintain a distance of at least ten feet away from me." He tried to recall where the blessed paper was.
"That's right bitch! Get away from Josh!" Justin wasn't was afraid to speak now that Nikki was involved in her threesome.
Jessica was afraid of being injured from any thrown objects so she growled. While she glowered at the announcer, her ex signaled security. The muscled meaty men grunted in their muscle language and looked menacingly at her. She quietly stepped ten feet away from Josh. "Fine. You happy now, you wimp?"
"Don't call him a wimp! Just hurry up and lose so I don't have to look at your harpy ass anymore!" Justin screamed. He was going to rage again but Joshua was staring at him and Justin forgot any words that were going to come out of his mouth.
"Okay then Jessica. We are going to play Plinko. Do you know the rules?"
She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Of course I do. Did you get dumber since I left you?"
"Watch yourself Jessica!" Justin held his belt from his trousers in his hand. He waved it in the air ominously.
"I have to explain the instructions anyway Jessica. Do try to keep away from me." A large white board with many little white picks sticking up in the air was revealed from a large door. "You will have two chips to slide down the board, whichever slot it lands in you will win that amount. You will have a chance to win three more Plinko chips. You can win up to $50,000 in cash. Ready?" Joshua pointed to the stairway that leads to the top of the Plinko board.
Jessica rolled her eyes and saw the muscle men pound their meaty fists against their open palms. She quietly climbed the distance and kept ten feet away from the slender man. She took the two given white round plastic chips and looked impatiently at her ex. "Well aren't you supposed to host?" She waved her hands in annoyance.
Joshua sighed and then calmly said, "Fine. Lance will bring out three products. Each will have two different prices. It will be your job to choose the correct one."
"Think you can handle that you frigid bitch?" Justin asked haughtily. He might as well have a little fun. "What was that Jessica? Can't say anything now?"
The items were revealed and Jessica blanched. "I can't fucking believe this!" She had to bid on kitchen items, the one room in a house she never really visited. There was a kitchen cleaner, a mop and dishwashing liquid. She bid wrong for each item and didn't receive anymore Plinko chips.
"Oh shit you bid $59 dollars for a dishwashing liquid. What a dope!" Justin commented as he belly laughed.
Jessica tried to throw a Plinko chip at Justin and since the plastic discus could have never reached such a distance it fell down the Plinko board and landed in the $0 slot.
Justin laughed even more.
Jessica screamed like a drowned rat. "That one didn't even fucking count! I was trying to hit that fairy and I missed. I want it back."
"Sorry Jessica, it counts. You have on more chance. Play wisely." Joshua warned.
Jessica decided to change tactics. "Come on Josh." She purred and tried to discreetly show him some cleavage. "You and I might have got off on the wrong foot. All of the yelling and bitching was uncalled for. If you could just let this one slide-" She had gotten one foot too close because the security guards tackled Jessica and caused her to drop her Plinko chip down the white Plinko board. It too landed in the $0 dollar slot much to Justin's and secretly Josh's amusement.
The guards dragged her off and brought her to the Big Wheel, where the three contestants, Joey, Chris and Jessica, could have a chance to score a spot in the last and final round. Since only two seats are available, they would have to spin the Big Wheel for up to two times. In those given spins, the total amount must equal one dollar or close to it. If it went over, you were automatically disqualified. Joey was allowed to spin first.
"I don't have to do math right?" Joey asked worriedly. He could only add up to 11 and if he got past that and had to rely on his own brain he would be screwed.
Joshua, who suspiciously came onto the stage with swollen lips, smiled at the man. "Nope you don't have to do any math. Just spin the wheel and we'll add the rest, okay?"
Joey nodded. He gulped and spun the wheel. It landed on thirty cents. "How much is that?"
"Thirty cents." Joshua told the man carefully.
"I spin again or what?"
"What the fuck? Of course you do!" Justin called out over the roar of the crowd.
"Oh." He spun again and got fifty cents. "Joey did good?"
Joshua patted the bigger man on the head. "Yes. Joey did good. Stand over there to the side like a good boy." The Italian man skipped happily off to the side. "Chris it is your turn."
Chris swished his flatulent hips and looked demurely at the host. There was a growl heard from somewhere on the stage. Chris shivered and flashed Joshua a nipple. Josh cringed in disgust so quickly, no one could have detected it. "But this wheel is so big," he drawled in his mouse like voice.
"Spin or lose a limb," Justin threatened. Chris looked to the announcer's box but the man was not there. "Stop being nosy and spin!"
Chris raised his chunky hands to the wheel and it barely spun. The crowd stopped clapping mid clap. He had to stand on the tip of his toes to reach the wheel. "That one doesn't count, does it?"
"Yes bitch! Stop ogling Joshua and get a move on it!" Justin ordered from somewhere unknown. The wheel had stopped on fifteen cents. He jumped up and spun the wheel again but this time the wheel barely inched its way to five cents. Chris sulked and looked longingly at Josh. He pouted and slapped his fatty ass remorsefully as he went to stand next to Joey. The Jolly Ranchers were in an uproar. Miraculously a reindeer was dropped from the air, over the group. The Jolly Ranchers started to chomp on the live beast before it was fully on the floor.
"Yes!" Jessica haughtily cried and walked assuredly to the Big Wheel. "This will be a piece of cake," she whispered to herself. Being on the show made her hungry, money hungry that is. She missed spending Joshua's millions and decided that the endless bank accounts and massive cock needed to be within her reach again. "Oh Joshie Poo!"
Joshua was looking dazedly off the stage but cringed when he heard the wretched nickname. "What now Jessica?"
"I was thinking," she spoke in a demure tone. It didn't go with her shrewd green eyes. She flipped her hair wantonly and smiled. "I think we've been too hard on each other. I think I was wrong for trying to bleed you dry and you were wrong for cheating." Joshua looked on edge as Jessica got closer to the host. "I think you should call off the security guards. I think it's time for a reconciliation. Don't you think?" She stood right in front of the man and dragged her red fingernail down Joshua's pink covered chest.
"Well," Joshua started. He didn't know how to tell her exactly what was going on but luckily he was beaten to the punch.
"That's it bitch! I've had enough of your scheming and plotting ways!" Justin jumped on the stage wearing his announcer's suit jacket, shirt and tie. There seemed to be a vital item missing, his pants. That's right, Justin Timberlake was standing on stage in very thin, light blue boxers. He looked menacingly at the dark haired woman. "Hands off my man!" The crowd oohed and ahhed when finally seeing their announcer from the waist down, especially in such attire or lack thereof.
"You're gay?" Jessica asked in affront. "But, but what about Kya and Nikki NoNo? How could this be?" She asked in surprise while staring at Joshua's pants' crotch. There seemed to be a bulge forming. Joshua had his eyes trained on the announcer the entire time, not even noticing his confused ex-wife in front of him.
"You're goddamned right he is. We're a couple and we love each other. You and all those other broads were flukes. I'm the real thing! So I'm warning you bitch, hands off my baby." Justin held his hands on his hips. He meant business. "You see his mouth? I did that. You see that hickey? I made that. And you see that swelling in his pants? I do that." He licked his lips nastily. "I'm tired of all of you trying to get him. It isn't happening!" Justin got skulked to his boyfriend and Jessica.
Jessica returned her normal smirk, "Is that so? I think you spout too much bullshit. I think, no wait I know, your just an insecure little helper. Look at Josh's track record. He'll grow tired of you like he always does. And you know who he will turn to? Not an employee. So back off kid because this bitch," she snarled, "Will always be here."
"He loves me. He's a dick man. A Justin's dick man and will always be!" Justin put his face in close proximity to Jessica. "So move away!"
Jessica's eyes pierced Justin's blue eyes with a look of annoyance. "No." She stared Justin down as she groped a stunned Joshua's chest. She was bringing her hand downward and before Joshua's hand could stop her, Justin called out for reinforcements.
"Security!" He hollered. The muscle men were there before Justin fully called out their name. They smiled wickedly as they brought out their stun guns from their pockets.
"Ahh!" Jessica called out as she was being subdued. A stun gun was placed on her neck and she flinched in pain. "This isn't!" Shock. "Over!" Shock. "Jo-" Shock. "Shua!" She tried to open her mouth again but security reduced the woman to a quivering mass on the floor. The men lifted her up and took her out of there.
Joshua looked at his lover. "Justin! You're naughty." He dragged Justin into his arms.
Justin growled and lapped at the hickey on Joshua's neck, which was hidden by the shirt collar. "You make me that way. If you didn't have to be so sexy, I wouldn't have to do such things." He bit onto the bruised flesh causing Josh to whimper.
Joshua pushed Justin away by his shoulder halfheartedly. "We have to stop. People are watching and we have jobs to do."
Justin pouted. "You aren't going to do what Jessica said?"
"I've stopped listening to what Jessica said a long time ago. I'm yours. You're mine. And that's that. Now get your ass up there now and announce before I forget about stopping and give the audience a show." The brunette purred and licked Justin's lips.
"Well hurry and host then. I'm a little hot in my crotch from protecting what's mine all day." Justin panted in Joshua's ear.
Joshua nudged his middle against Justin's enflamed clothed dick. "Doesn't feel little to me."
Joey cleared his throat loudly. "Um we win right? So can we play? I need the money to buy a meat market for the Fatone family reunion."
Justin growled and grudgingly pulled away from his boyfriend. "We'll finish this." He sauntered off the stage, adding an extra wiggle just for the host. Joshua took his suit jacket off. He was getting a little hot under the collar. The crowd sighed from not getting to see the romance in the game show turned soap opera continue.
"Yes Joey. We can play now." He told the man simply. "It's time for our Showcase Showdown folks. Our two contestants will compete by bidding on two grand showcases. The bidder who is within $500 of the total price for the showcase will win that showcase and their contestant's. Ready to play?" Joshua asked. He blushed after saying the word 'play' and unbuttoned a shirt button.
The crowd reached a new volume with all the cheering and applauding. Joey, with the help of Chris, walked to the two contestant podiums and stood behind them. Each player looking anxiously at the host. "Ooh! We're going to do that bid thing again? I say $59." Joey said quickly.
Joshua reached his breaking point. It took awhile for him to get there but that comment from Joey did it. All the dumb people were wearing his patience thin. "No damn it!" He cursed. The entire crowd gasped. The host never said such foul words on television. "Just stand there and speak when spoken to." He was turned on and had to wait until after Justin came to fix his ache. And by the looks of Joey, it was going to be a long wait.
"You know Joshua, I never expected you to have a potty mouth," Chris gushed and blushed. He tried to play off rubbing his hairy nipple inconspicuously.
"For saying damn?" Justin called out from his announcer's box. He stealthily got back up there. "And I thought I told you Papaya or whatever fruity candy you are, stop looking at Joshua like that! Security isn't that far away. I have an endless supply of moose and reindeer for your group. You wanna try me?" Chris meekly shook his head and looked at his white sneakers.
"Joey you get to choose whichever-" Joshua stopped in mid sentence and then remembered who he was talking to. If he gave the man a chance to choose, he might still be stuck here a week from now. "You must bid on this showcase. Justin, kindly announce what this showcase includes."
A large door opened on stage and Lance stood there behind a bare background. "First we have Lance Bass, a one man whore house." Lance shook his naked body for all to see. Even with his black eye, he had spunk. "He knows every trick in the book and probably came up with a few as well. The winner of this show case will get a ten pack of condoms, a bottle of lube and an hour's worth of time spent with the whore himself. All this could be yours if the price is right." Justin finished.
"Hey but I thought I won the prostitute. I was ready to have my cherry popped and everything."
"First off a grown and overripe pineapple like you has never had sex? Actually that is believable. And secondly Lance is rented by the minute because he's a whore. Hence his title." Lance nodded his confirmation and danced off beat to a tune that only he could hear.
"So Joey what are you going to bid?" Josh asked and tapped his foot impatiently. Lance started to hump the air and Joshua would loved to have some humping action with Justin.
"Fifty nine dollars," he stated proudly and held three fingers in the air.
"Shit that much?" Justin asked.
Lance flipped Justin the bird and started to thrust even more so into the air. He was so excited that he inched his way toward Joshua.
"Lance!" Justin cried out. He was too close to Josh for Justin's comfort.
"Baby get to the other showcase," Joshua subtly pointed toward his enormous hard on and strained a smile.
Justin didn't even hesitate. "Chris this is your showcase." Another large door revealing Lance once again dry humping the air, this time in a tattered brown cowboy hat.
"You're joking right?" Chris snorted.
"No Banana. How much do you think he's worth?" Joshua asked the chubby man. Chris was taking too long. Justin waved his red tie in the air for Josh to see.
"But Joshua you know I'm Lemon." Chris pointed to his headband for good measure.
"Whatever just say a number." The host started to hop from foot to foot as he watched Justin slip his jacket off.
"I'm not liking this new side of you Joshua. I think-"
"Fine! Chris said two dollars!" Joshua answered for the tubby man. Chris opened his mouth to protest but Justin threw a forgotten eggplant into Chris's mouth. The pudgy elf was knocked out. Lance, being the low skank that he was, saw an opportunity and took it. He sidled up to Joshua's side and started to hump his thigh. It wasn't even a full second before Justin flew down the stairs and across the audience to save his man.
"I told you Lance!" Justin grabbed Lance by his penis and threw the man into the Jolly Ranchers area. The he-she's almost gobbled him up but decided to use him for better use. He'd be Chris's wife. They'd make this whore into a housewife.
"That's it!" Justin growled. He flung an unsuspecting Joshua over his bare shoulder, somehow his shirt was discarded and brought the man to the front of Joey's SUV. "I'm tired of people hitting on you. I distinctly told everyone that you are off limits and yet they push me." Justin snarled and then attacked Josh's mouth with his tongue. He swiped his tongue in every crevice, making the kiss very deep and nasty.
Josh wasn't complaining. In fact, he wrapped his legs around Justin's thin waist. When Josh came up for air, he muttered against the brutalizing lips, "Then show me what you're going to do."
Justin pushed the man to lay on the red hood of the jeep and grinded his straining dick against Josh's swollen shaft. "That's exactly what I'll do. I'm showing everyone here that you are off limits! I'm going to fuck you right here and now!" He ripped Josh's pants off, throwing the offending material away and thanked the heavens that JC wasn't wearing any underwear.
Josh wasn't protesting when Justin wrapped his large hand around his cock. He'd been hard for awhile and needed to get off. "But with everyone watching? Right here baby?" He groaned and thrust into Justin's motioning hand.
Justin slipped out of his blue boxers and nodded. He lay in between Josh's open legs, supporting the man with his own hips. He rubbed their cocks together and the two shuddered. Justin leaned into Josh and whispered into his ear, "I want you to scream my name. I'll make you." And that was a promise. Justin bit Joshua's ear and then sucked on the lobe.
Joshua unbuttoned his pink shirt with shaking hands, seeing the intent blatantly in Justin's eyes. He quaked from desire. After he got the shirt off, he brought two helping hands to Justin's member. He slicked the precum over the thickened shaft and grunted when Justin's cock head came into contact with his.
"Want yours too," Justin whimpered. The announcer brought his hand to Josh's arousal and rubbed as much precum as he could over Josh's purple, swelled cock. The two jerked each other for a few minutes, stopping when the jacking got too intense only to start again.
"Kiss me," Joshua softly ordered. Justin obliged and lowered his torso against Josh's. He slipped his tongue inside the open mouth and massaged his tongue against Joshua's.
"Need." Justin couldn't finish. He was going into overload. It was as if he and JC were in their own passion filled world. They didn't notice that they held everyone's rapt attention.
Joshua knew what his lover craved and opened his legs even wider. "Then take." Justin took his slicked hand off of JC and used two fingers to stretch Josh's anus. Thankfully his fingers met not much resistance. Justin prodded and poked the hole until he could stretch it just right.
"Ready?" Justin already knew the man was ready. Josh kept riding his fingers. He took his fingers out of the hole and swiped a hand around Josh's cock again, making sure to lubricate his hand with the oozing liquid. He rubbed his own cock with both their juices and then lined his cock up to the awaiting hole. Josh pushed forward and Justin pushed in. The two groaned in gratification.
Justin jabbed his way in, at first making shallow thrusts, driving Josh wild. The slender host pushed his pelvis upward to take more of the pumping cock inside. He wrapped his arms around Justin's back and leaned back against the hood of the vehicle. "Deeper," he begged.
Justin pulled himself out. "Turn over." He instructed silkily. Joshua turned to lay face first, ass up on the large jeep hood. Justin plunged back in making sure to plummet Josh's prostate with his unyielding dick. He sped up his movements, knowing with a few more calculated thrustd he can bring the both of them to climax. He burrowed his rod deeper and deeper. He felt Joshua cry the tell tale whimper. "Ready baby?"
"Uh-huh." Josh moaned into the metal, his breath hitching. Justin pulled out and pushed back in with a determined fervor. He felt his own balls tightening and snuck a hand around Josh's waist to jack his baby. "Oh Justin!" He was ready to shoot. With one more stroke from Justin, he did. He shot his load onto the hood and floor. Justin feeling the tightening of anal muscles around his precum oozing member, came hard and deep inside his love. The two shook from their orgasms and were shocked to hear applause and catcalls from the audience.
They forgot about them.
"So did I win?" Joey asked and scratched his head.
"I don't have any fruit," Justin pouted into the man's sweaty back. Guess he couldn't knock the Italian out.
The End