The audience claps and cheers.
"We usually allow our audience to see the three lovely singles but since our TV viewers argued that the audience corrupts the contestant's choice, we are going to keep the contestants from everyone's view," Elle smiled. "Even I haven't seen the boys."
"What?" the supposed sexy single scoffed. "But how will I know if the guy looks like shit or not? I don't fuck around with uglies."
"And you wonder why you're single?" Elle sneered at the bearded man. "The handsome hotties are behind this three sided paper screen making their distorted shadows only apparent," she informed the viewers. "Why don't you introduce yourself so we can learn more about you and the studly singles can also."
"And they better be fucking studly. No one that looks like a dog can have a chance with Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick. I told your producers that I was only interested in pretty boys. And those motherfuckers better be gorgeous!" the stout man bellowed.
"Well aren't you a prize?" Elle retorted smartly.
"You're damn skippy, lady. Now I'm a thirty-three year old Burger King assistant fat drainer and gum scraper," Chris pulled on his lapels. He was wearing a greasy dark green three-piece suit. "I've been working there for fifteen years. I have a ten karat plated nametag, to boot. Plus, I work at my Aunt Libby's Miniature Golf Lot on Thursdays, so you know what that means fellas. All the chili cheese fries you want from twelve to twelve fifteen a.m." Chris winked vilely to the camera.
All of the singles groaned in revulsion. Even the audience and Elle groaned at the description of the man's job.
"Um I'd never have guessed, Christopher," Elle stated rather nervously.
"Yeah, I know I look more like head fat drainer and gum scraper material but the owner's kid had to do something, right? Lucky seventeen-year-old bastard. You know, Elle. You're lucky that I'm into peckers or I'd have to scoop you up," he winked.
"How unlucky of me," she stated flatly. "How about our sexy singles tell us why they should be on a date with Christopher."
"These motherfuckers better be P.Y.T. You follow me? Pretty. Young and Tasty. Cause that's the only type I deal with," he beamed, showing off his spinach stained, gold teeth.
Elle goggled at the gold fixtures for thirty seconds, bringing the show to a minute standstill. "Thank god for censors. I think we should hear from our courageous cuties. Contestant number one, please introduce yourself."
"Hi. I'm Contestant number one and I love having fun," the man purred as he read from the cue card.
The audience did their perfunctory applause as Chris geared himself for asking his question.
"Okay then contestant number one. You sound hot," Chris drooled.
"And I am," he quipped.
"I bet you are. Can I take you home? Just kidding, the other two might be even hotter. So what do you like to do on a rainy day?"
"Cuddle with the one I love," he responded. The audience clapped at the sweet answer.
"Boo!" Chris made a thumbs down sign, "Wrong answer. I like my men to feed me food in nothing else but a smile."
"That wasn't a yes or no question. It was his opinion, his choice. His answer wasn't wrong," Elle advised.
"Uh, the customer is always right."
"Mofo, this isn't Burger King," Elle said sharply.
"It's always Burger King. Always," Chris returned.
"Okay," Elle slowly widen her eyes at the short, hairy man. This was a first for her. "How about we move onto contestant number 2, shall we?"
"Oh yes we shall," Chris slicked his greasy hair back, trying to get his money's worth out of his toupee.
"Um. Hi," a nervous voice began, "I'm Contestant number two and I want to be down with you," gulped as he read from the cue card.
"And I bet you get down too. You sound so sexy with that little boy act. Don't worry Daddy ain't gonna hurt you much. Me love you long time," he winked and stood up to smack the air as if he were smacking an ass. Chris started to air hump his imaginary behind, giving it all that he had. He grunted and sweated like a pig while gyrating his stumpy hips on stage.
Elle grabbed Christopher's hand to stop him and tried to calm down the excited audience.
Fortunately Contestant number two could not see the little man or he would have bolted after viewing the ludicrous wink or gesture from the slimy man.
"So Contestant number two," Chris panted out of breath. The air humping wore him out a bit. "What kind of food would you describe yourself as?"
"Um," a shy, small voice began to answer, "I guess I would say a kiwi. Nice and fuzzy on the outside and surprisingly sweet on the inside."
"Boo! What kind of guys did you pick for this show? That wasn't a hottie answer. Kiwis are ugly and they have those nasty ass seeds. You should have said a hot dog. Firm, plump and juicy, just screaming for Chris to take a bite out of you," Chris yelled at the shadow of Contestant number two.
"I loved you answer," Contestant number one smoothly told the shy man.
"Thank you," Contestant number two blushed and looked down at his feet.
Contestant number one reached out beside him and lifted Contestant number two's face and stared into his eyes, "You're welcome," he winked suavely.
"Again, Christopher you did not ask a right or wrong question. Can you refrain from belittling the contestants' answers?" Elle advised haughtily.
"Whatever," he rolled his eyes. "Contestant number three, let's get a move on."
Elle quickly waved her index finger warningly, "Nuh-uh. I'm the host of this show. I say when we move on to the next contestant. You got it Christopher!" She swiveled her neck and sucked her teeth.
"Must be that time of the month," Chris snickered.
Elle's hand smacked Chris in the back of the head. "Sorry it seems my hand spasmed as I stretched it. Oops."
"Yeah, my mother has the same problem. Sometimes her foot acts up as well. She always catches me in the ass, somehow," Chris informed the angry host.
"Right. Will do. Contestant number three, please introduce yourself," Elle sighed.
"Hello," a deep voice started, "I'm Contestant number three and if you want to have the best time, you need to choose me," the man read from the assigned cue card.
"Damn your voice is sexy as hell! I bet you liked to be tied up. Huh? Make me spank Poppa's ass? You sound like you have a juicy booty too! I like my men with some junk in their trunk. Can you pant for me, Poppa?" Chris hooted at the paper screen.
"No I won't. Why don't you ask the damn question already," Contestant number three retorted.
"Oooh you're a feisty one. I like my sugar to have a little spice, you know what I'm saying?"
"Unfortunately, we all do," Elle returned.
"You know there's Midol for that condition."
Elle's hand clapped the back of Chris' head again, this time nearly knocking the oily man out of his chair. "Oops sorry about that," she lied.
Chris righted himself. "Yeah no problem. So Contestant number three, where is your ideal place for a first date?"
"The movies."
"Damn and you have such a smart mouth," Chris pouted. "Wrong answer, you should have said my Aunt Libby's Miniature Golf Lot. Since I can get an employee discount and free fries for fifteen minutes. These guys are stupid but it's a lucky thing I don't like my men to have too much brains."
"For the last time there is nothing wrong with the answers from the contestants. If these guys weren't gay, I'd be on them like white on rice. The answers were wonderful guys!"
"Hey! Are you hitting on my hotties, Elle? Obviously PMS can't scramble your brain that much seeing as how the supposedly sexy singles are fighting to get a date with me," Chris proudly announced and flashed his two tone teeth yet again.
Elle popped Chris in the back of the head, this time knocking him fully on the ground. "Looks like my hand is acting up something awful. We'll cut to commercial." Elle smiled as she watched Chris fumble to get up from the floor.
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"Welcome back to the Dating Game. We are here with three heavenly hunks and Chris, a thirty-three year old lard scraper."
"Uh, that's ASSISSTANT fat drainer and GUM scraper."
"Like that makes it any better," she mutter not so quietly under her breath. "Anyway, let's hear more from our contestants, shall we?"
"Yeah cause those were some loser ass answers. You guys have to make me want you," Chris got so excited that he had spittle foaming at the side of his mouth.
"Would you like a napkin?" Elle asked. Chris was drooling and sweating all over the chair.
"No, let's get down to business. Contestant number one, describe the contestant sitting next to you and tell me why you think you're hotter than him." Chris read from his index card of questions.
"Well, let's see. Contestant number two is isn't hot at all." Contestant number
"I knew it!" Chris interrupted.
"No, he's past hot. He's fucking scorching. He's tall and sexy. His hair is curly and he's working out his jeans something awful," he placed a closed fist to his mouth and stared the bashful man down. "He's a damn bucket of chicken with the biscuits and gravy!"
The audience and even Elle squealed after hearing the compliment.
"Thank you," Contestant two blushed. He looked from under his eyelashes at the handsome Contestant number one.
'You're very welcome,' Contestant number one mouthed and licked his full lips lewdly.
"And I can't get a sneak peek?" Chris whined to the game show host. He was twitching in his pants after hearing the description. He stood up and peered into the thick paper screen, seeing nothing but obscure shadows.
"Sit down, Christopher. You make me antsy," she warned the sweaty man. She never had a character like him on her show before.
"I have that effect on people," he winked salaciously at the poor host. He sat on the edge of the chair and read from his index card of questions. "So,Contestant number two, describe Contestant number one for me."
"Okay," he grinned. "He's tall and sexy as all get out, curly hair and heavenly blue eyes. He's perfect. And if you don't choose him, you'll be sorry."
The audience cooed as Chris booed.
"I don't think you should be hitting on my hottie. All you guys are hard up for dates so you should be fighting for my attention," Chris advised.
Elle arched her eyebrows, "They're hard up for dates?" she asked cautiously and raised an eyebrow. She peered into the maniacally gleaming brown eyes to vouch for Chris's seriousness.
"Duh Elle. Damn, does that PMS affect your brain as well?" Chris questioned the woman.
She raised her foot, poised to kick the little sweaty man but tried to hold her composure, "Ask the goddamn question. Don't say anything else to me just ask the damn question," Elle warned.
"Fine," he breathed out. He went on to ask Contestant three a question, but he didn't pay attention to Chris at all. He was watching the other two contestants flirting and blowing kisses back and forth.
"Umm hello? Number three what's your answer?" Chris screeched loudly annoyed that the deep voiced man did not pay him any attention.
"What?" Contestant number three breathed out. He turned his head away from the show next to him and looked forward to the paper screen. "Can you repeat the question?"
"Shit are you deaf? Or did my questions tangle you up inside and you're creaming your pants?" Chris hinted licentiously.
"Um, I'll go with the first one because my pants have never been drier," Contestant number three answered quickly. Chris didn't turn him on in any way, shape or form.
"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that baby. I know you just can't wait to get your hands all over the Chris-Man. They all can't. I asked would you give it up on the first date? No I'm kidding. No maybe not, would you?" he asked hopefully.
"No. Go to the next contestant," Contestant three was fed up of the faceless man. With how Chris acted, he was happy that there was a screen to separate them. Chris didn't sound like a prize.
"But-"
"Now," he boomed.
"So I guess you don't," Chris frowned briefly. He perked however when he asked, "So what about the other two of you? Contestant number one? Contestant number two?" he near begged.
"Well," Contestant number one began to growl sexily, "I do but only if the date is really," he brushed his hand against Contestant number two's thigh, "good."
Contestant number two quivered and blushed a vivid shade of red and traced his fingers over the long fingers on his thigh.
"Well then I choose you Contestant number one. Unless the other contestants want to join in and have a hottie orgy," Chris suggested and gripped his crotch. He leaned back into the cloth chair, giving the cameraman an unwanted view. When he leaned forward, he left a greasy stain behind on the back of the chair.
"As happy as I would like for this show to end and as sad I would be for our handsome hunks if they were chosen by you, the questioning round isn't done yet," Elle sighed morosely.
"Well, number two, you didn't answer yet. Do you want Daddy to come over and spank you, you naughty boy?"
"No," he whispered. He feared Chris. And definitely did not want to be chosen as his date. But he wouldn't mind if Contestant number one did.
"Is that a no to fucking on the first date as well?"
"I believe that would be an affirmative, Chris," Elle glibly informed.
"Fine then," he pouted. "I don't like these questions. I'm going to ask better ones cause I'm not getting hottie enough answers."
"I'm not sure-" Elle was cut off by the stocky, wet man.
"This goes out to all contestants, would you rather have a banana, a hot dog or my dick shoved up your ass?"
Elle and the audience gasped.
"I certainly say neither, you pervert," Contestant number three answered. He wanted off the show.
"Hey that wasn't a choice. And I have you know, that I am not a pervert, well in forty-three states, that is."
The other two contestants giggled at the commotion between Chris and the blonde haired contestant number three.
Contestant number one unhooked the microphone off his shirt and turned to Contestant number two, "What's your answer?" he whispered boldly.
"I go with number three. But," he looked into the blue eyes of the other contestant and lost his nerve to finish his statement. "Never mind," he gushed softly.
"No," Contestant number one grabbed the other man's hand and interlaced their fingers, "Tell me."
Contestant number two blushed even deeper and shook his head silently.
"Ok," Contestant number one drawled. He moved closer off his stool and placed his face directly in the curly haired male's face. "I'll tell you my answer. Want me too?" he asked as he searched the man's blue eyes. His eyes showed a mixture of fear and curiosity and a slight edge of lust.
Contestant number two gulped audibly but not too loud to distract from the bickering going between Contestant number three and Chris.
Contestant number one reached out and unhooked Contestant number two's microphone off his shirt. He smirked lasciviously, "Well I'd love to have my dick inside of you."
Contestant number two nearly swallowed his tongue. "That's not o-one o-o-of his choices," he stuttered.
"Thank god," Contestant number one quipped. "So would you mind?"
Contestant number two gasped silently and held his mouth wide open.
"I take that as a no then baby," his blues eyes gleamed wickedly. "Now how about I tell you what I want to do with you and you tell me if you'll let me do those things," Contestant number one's eyes were heavy lidded and he spoke with a velvet voice.
Contestant number two's throat began to constrict. If the heavy lidded man kept speaking to him in that tone of voice, he would be putty in his hands. He nodded dumbly.
He pulled Contestant number two into his lap and trailed his hands on the quiet man's lower torso. "Well, how about you come a little closer and I'll tell you."
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"Fine then. How'd you feel about a dildo shoved in your bum hole? Huh baby?" Chris unbuttoned his collar. He was getting hot from talking dirty to the aggravated Contestant number three.
"I'm not you're baby. I don't care for your pathetic and lame innuendoes, you fucking loser. Why don't you shove all your sad suggestions up your ass and fly the fuck out here. I'm not interested," he huffed, agitated by the dirty little man.
"You haven't even seen me!" Chris screeched.
"And I'm counting my blessings, believe me," he stated succinctly.
"So how about a can of whip cream. It's a warm sticky treat like my cock," he snickered at his perverse joke. He was the only one laughing.
"LOOK YOU NASTY-" Contestant number three began to shout.
"Well, thankfully, it looks like the end of the Q&A session," Elle hurriedly cut in. She wanted the wet man gone.
"But-" Chris pouted.
"Nope. It's time to choose your sexy single, Christopher. Who's it going to be? Number one? Number two? Or Number three?" Elle pitied the contestant that Chris would choose.
"Ok. I choose Contestant number three."
"WHAT? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING JOKING? I DIDN'T GIVE ANY GOOD ANSWERS!"
"Yeah baby boy you didn't but you're hot blooded like a tamale, you sexy thing you. And Daddy likes his sugar babe to have spice, I told you. So come on over here and service me. Just kidding, we can save that for later," Chris gleamed.
"Well, uh, let's meet, Chris' charming choice, Lance Bass," Elle announced to the audience. She began to clap but stopped when Contestant number three yelled in rage.
"THERE WILL BE NO LATER, YOU LOSER! BECAUSE I UNCHOOSE YOUR UNCOUTH, LAME ASS!"
"You can't do that! You're my bitch for the night! Those are the rules! Right, Elle?"
"Actually there's no rule stating that Lance has to go anywhere with you, especially being you're 'bitch', so he has the right to deny your choice," she filled in.
"LANCE! You know you want me! Quit tryna' act coy and bring your steaming ass out here! You're just begging to be plugged baby!" Chris called out to the shadow behind the screen.
Lance had more than enough and ripped his microphone off. He maneuvered himself around from the kissing and groping couple and made his way to where Chris and Elle were.
"Look here you- Oh my God, you're a greasy smidget!" Lance stopped charging and exclaimed when he saw Chris for the first time. He grabbed his stomach and laughed, "You actually think you're worthy of a date with anyone?"
"Well whose the one begging for a date and whose the one doesn't need to?" he replied smartly.
"Well obviously you have to beg for a date, shorty! Who in their right mind would want a grease scraper?" Lance put his hands on his hips and stared the little man down.
Elle stood up from her chair, sensing the hostility between the brunette and the blonde. "How about we meet the other two contestants? They are-"
"You bitch!" Chris screamed like a banshee and tackled Lance to the floor. "It's FAT DRAINER and GUM SCRAPER!!" He held the blonde in a headlock and Lance blindly tried to scratch Chris' eyes out. The two fighting men began to tumble and wrestle around the floor, creating chaos in the game show studio. Elle tried to flag down security.
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"Now if you liked all my suggestions how about you consider taking this big one for me?" Contestant number one asked the man grinding on his groin. The two forgot that they were on a game show and ignored the melee going on in front of the paper screen.
Contestant number two sucked on the other man's bottom lip. He nodded his head while his legs tightened around Contestant number one's waist.
"Well, I was wondering about Chris' choices," he stopped to lick Contestant number two's throat.
"I'm not putting a banana, a hot dog and especially not his dick anywhere near my ass," Contestant number two protested.
"Shh," he whispered into the man's ear. "I'm not talking about him. It's all about you and me. Now how about we take off our pants and-"
Contestant number two quickly shook his head, "There's people here and I'm- I can't do that. I'm." He hesitated. "I just, we can't do that here," he blushed furiously. He looked around, remembering that there was another contestant but Contestant number three could not be found.
Contestant number one smiled knowingly, "Well at least I know that there's a we." He pierced his tongue in between the reserved man's lips. He swirled his tongue so far in the other man's throat, he nearly choked the shy man.
"I don't even know your name," Contestant number two pointed out when they broke for oxygen.
Contestant number one rose from the stool. He unwrapped the other man legs from around his waist and stood him gently on the floor. "I'll tell you soon. Come on and take off your jeans. I bet you have a gorgeous ass to go with your gorgeous face," he complimented the blushing man while unbuckling his pants. He dropped his pants along with his boxer briefs onto the floor and moved to the other man.
"We can't do this here. Maybe back at my place or yours but not here," Contestant number two grabbed onto the other man's hands to prevent him from unfastening his pants.
"I'm naked from the waist down and you're going to stand there and do nothing about it?" Contestant number one rubbed his hand over his semi-hard cock.
Contestant number two's eyes were glued onto the hardening sight. He placed his hands on his pants and pulled them down, along with his boxers, to the floor himself. He stepped out of the pile of clothes. Both men stood in front of each other, naked from the waist down, oblivious to their surroundings.
Contestant number one held the other man's blue eyes while he bent down to fish through his pants pocket. He found the object he was searching for and pulled out a condom packet. He stood up straight and pulled his erection, milking himself. "Come here," he panted out silkily.
Contestant number two walked to the masturbating man and grabbed the condom. He read out loud, "Heavy lubricated. Were you expecting some action today?"
"You never know who you're going to meet. Now, why don't you roll that on me," he hinted.
Contestant number two tore into the condom wrapper. He grabbed the other burgeoning shaft and rolled the condom swiftly onto his meat. After finishing his task, he pressed his mouth into the other man's and tried to swallow his tongue while straddling Contestant number one's waist. As he folded his legs tightly, Contestant number one prodded his finger into the other man's anus, crooking his finger to play with the man's prostate.
"You. You...oh God. You didn't even tell me your name," Contestant number two shuddered out.
Contestant number one pulled his finger out and lined his cock up, his head pressing against the other man's entrance. "Please. I need you to. Please. I," Contestant number two pleaded while holding onto the other man for dear life.
Contestant number one murmured his name into the receiving man's ear as he thrust his hips upward into the tight, hot cavity. He turned and leaned against the paper screen to properly balance the two. He waited for his new lover to get used to his penis and when the other man signaled his acceptance and anxiousness, he began to thrust upward and wildly into the man's hot ass.
"Jesus," Contestant number two cried out in pleasure. He felt so naughty and yet so wonderful being pressed up against a paper screen and being fucked in such a public place.
"That's not my name," the thrusting man panted out and smirked while the other tightened his muscles around his pumping shaft. "Fuck you're so tight."
"I, I didn't. I. I never," Contestant number two tried to finish but he felt an impending orgasm.
"What?" Contestant number one began to pummel himself faster and harder into the sweet tight heat. He was close to cumming.
"My name," he whispered out loud. He tightened his grip, manually and anally as he felt his orgasm building up. "I never said. Oh, my name." he closed his eyes in bliss.
"What is it?" he said in time with his thrusting hips. He pulled his shaft out leaving the tip of his head inside and then forcefully shoved himself back into the welcoming heat. He pushed the two of them further into the paper screen. The two were too far-gone to notice the paper giving away from their forceful actions.
"I'm. It's. I'm. I," Contestant number two babbled. His mind was turning into mush from their lovemaking.
"What?" Contestant number one thrust forcefully into the man once again, this pushing both past the paper screen and onto the floor in front of everyone, the tumbling men, the audience, Elle and security.
The fall gave the pistoning cock more force and the head nearly implanted itself on the man's prostate. Making Contestant number two scream out, "JC! JC! Oh God, JC!" and spill his seed in between the two of them.
Contestant number one came heavily in the man. The two shuddered and quivered on the floor in front of everyone.
"I knew I should have picked one of the other hotties," Chris pouted as he held his black eye.
The post orgasmic couple tried to catch their breath on the floor. "No, I'm JC," Contestant number one told the quivering mass underneath him. He smiled and asked, "And you are?"
"I'm Justin and you're mine," Justin breathed out heavily from under the man.
The End