"Let's meet our contestants, shall we?" Joshua sighed heavily.
*BZZZZ*
"It seems that one of our contestant got a little ahead of himself and pressed their buzzer," Joshua informed the audience. "Sir, I will get to you shortly. Please refrain from-"
*BZZZZ* "Sir," Joshua sternly warned the buzzer happy male, "Please stop. I will get to you in a few minutes. Now, our first contestant hails from Mississippi. His name is Lance Bass. It says here that you’re an assistant manager for the world's first bowling ally & marriage hut?" Lance pulls his lime and mint green lapels on his ancient leisure suit and smiles all of his three teeth for the camera. "Yes siree Bob...I mean Josh. I-" "Joshua," he quickly corrected the hick. "Sorry there, Josh-shoo-uh, I am temporarily assisting the manager at Bobby Lee's World Famous Fast Lanes, where you can marry your honey and make strikes at our lanes at the same time. We'll marry anyone...old people, young people, family members, hogs-" "That's quite enough, Lance." Joshua quickly interrupted, "You did not pay for advertising time. We don't have time to ask you more about yourself, as interesting as it may be. Moving on to our buzzer happy contestant, Joey Fatone." *BZZZZ* "Hi everybody! Ma, look I'm on TV!" Joey waves frantically to the TV camera. Joshua frowns and begins to fog up his glasses, "For the last time, stop buzzing. You press the buzzer ONLY to answer a question. Not to interrupt me!" He breathed deeply. "Now, it says here that you’re from Brooklyn, New York. And you’re the city's oldest high school student," Joshua smirks, "I wonder how that could be?" "Oh, that's right, I'm 25. Well, see the NYC school board has this policy, that after 21, you have to be out of high school, right?" Joey smiles wickedly, "But see the chancellor is my baby's mother, so I gots the hook up," he winks. "Well, we can see where New York's tax money should be spent, don't we?" Joshua asks the camera. "Moving on to our last contestant. His name is Justin Timberlake. He is from Memphis, Tennessee. He's a 22-year-old mechanic and guitar player. Tell us a bit about yourself, Justin." "You forgot something, Joshua," Justin gleams from the contestant podium. "What was that?" "I'm also single. Are you, Joshua...single that is? You're covering the fine part very well." Justin winked to the host. "U-uh...you can't a-a-ask me those type," Joshua stuttered. A contestant never blatantly flirted with him on camera before. Justin interrupted, "You are working that suit, Joshua," he throatily growled, "I wonder how it'll look on the floo-" "Okayyy. Contestants, you can bid from $200 to $1000. We are going to put the categories on the board. And they are, Chocolate, Animals, Celebrities that look like Animals, Music, and Sex. I would like to note that I had nothing to do with these categories, especially that last one." Joshua told the contestants, audience and the viewers of the show. "Not if I can help it," Justin wittingly replied. "Um...Lance, you may choose a category." "Sure thing, Josh-shoo-uh, I'll get down to the nitty gritty. I'd like to have Sex for $200." Joey fell to the floor, laughing at Lance. Justin stopped from staring at Joshua to look weirdly at Lance. "I bet you would," Joshua snippily replied, "The Question is: What is the name for a person who has never had any form of sex before?" *BZZZZ* "Lance?" "Why that's my momma." "No. First, when answering the question, please reply saying either with what is-, who is-, etcetera. And second, it is impossible for your mother to have never had sex." "Are you calling my momma a whore?" Lance angrily asked.*BZZZZ*
"Yes Joey?" "WHAT IS...Lance," Joey answered. "No," Joshua deadpanned.*BZZZZ*
"Justin?"
"Who is a virgin."
"Correct, Justin," Justin licked his lips at Joshua. "You-"
"I know, Joshua. I bet you’re not a virgin though. If you are, I can help change that...you name the time, you name the place."
"I-I cannot answer, y-you...let's change the subject of this conversation. Justin, you may select a subject." "Ok, I'll take you for all of the night," he winked and wagged his tongue at Joshua. "Mr. Timberlake, could you just-" "Yeah, I'm into role-playing too, baby. I'm into whatever gets you off," Justin panted into the microphone. "Look, I-" Joshua blushed. "It's alright. I know you have to act like you don't want me, censors and all," Justin ran his hands down his upper torso, down his tie, into his pants and adjusted his erection for Joshua to see. "I'll take Celebrities that look like Animals for $400."Joshua points to the screen, that had a picture of Britney Spears on it, "This celebrity has been compared to an animal that is a mammal and eats ants."
*BZZZZ* "Yes Joey?" "What is a rat?" "No. I can see you paid no attention to the question and you just based your answer from the picture." *BZZZZ* "Yes Lance?" "What is an alligator, Josh-shoo-uh?" "No, though I see an odd resemblance." *BZZZZ* "Joey, you can not answer again. Sorry." "What is an egghead?" Joey answered any way, he was sure he got it right this time. "An egghead is not an animal, Joey. And, I've told you many times to stop the unnecessary buzzing. One more unwarranted buzz from your side and I'll have to take away your buzzer. Justin, would you like to answer the question?" *BZZZZ* "Now, Josh-shoo-uh, are you sure that she ain't a egghead?" Lance asked in his deep southern accent, "I'm sure I've seen that beast running somewhere in the swamp." "Lance, just as I have informed Joey, you may not answer a question you've already answered. I do not need to hear about your theories or cock-a-mammy recollections of past swamping experiences. We are here to do the show! Now Justin would you like to answer the question?" "Are you free tonight? Damn you look so fuckable when you’re angry. I bet you get real vocal when you're fucked. You are like sex walking on two legs, baby." Justin moaned. Joshua looked into the camera pleadingly, "Help me," he asked in a tiny voice.*~*~*~*~*~
"Welcome back viewers. We are now into the final round with Justin leading. He has $1200, Lance is second, with -$200 and Joey is dead last, with a record of -$19,800. It must be a gift, Joey." Joshua gave up trying to reason with the group of contestants. He wanted the show to end. *BZZZZ* "Joey?" "You're right there, JC. It is a gift and a talent," Joey nodded happily. Joshua paused for a few seconds. "Right, so we left off with asking the final question, which was: 'What is your full name?' Let's see what our contestants wrote down, shall we?" "Ok, Justin you are the leader and we will see what you answered." The monitor showed Justin's answer. Justin wrote: WHAT IS YOUR NUMBER, JOSHUA? Joshua sighed, "Fine. Let's see what you bid." Justin's bid: MY NUMBER IS 555-0131. CALL ME ANYTIME, YOU SEXY BITCH. :oP Joshua gulped softly. "That will leave you at $1200. Now we will move onto Lance. Lance, what did you answer?” Lance’s answer: WELL, MY NAME IS JAMES LANCE BASS. I’M NAMED AFTER MY FATHER. HIS NAME IS JAMES LANCE BASS SR. SO I PONDER THAT MAKES ME JAMES LANCE BASS JR. DID YOU KNOW I COULD SKIN A POSSUM IN UNDER 5 MIN “Looks like Lance ran out of time to finish his long answer,” Joshua replied to the camera. “He did get it right. We might as well see what you bid, Lance.” Lance’s bid: ONE DOLLAR, BOB. “Obviously, Lance has the wrong game show. I’m not even going to explain it to him. And now Joey,” Joshua looks pityingly at Joey, “I am slightly afraid to look at Joey’s answer.” “I’ll protect you, baby,” Justin breathed into the microphone. He began to rub his rock hard cock while staring at Joshua. Joshua looked into the ceiling, “Why me?” *BZZZZ* “Uh, is that a question?” Joey asked. Joshua began to rub his temples, “Ok, what’s your answer Joey?” Joshua chose to ignore Joey’s moronic question. *BZZZZ* "Uh, to the last question or the other one?” Joshua whipped his glasses off and threw them at Joey. “Just show the damn answer on the screen. I will not speak directly to you for the rest of the show.”Joey’s answer: I DON’T HAVE A FULL NAME.
“You don’t have a full name, Joey Fatone?” Joshua asked, astonished at the vapidity that was Joey and ignored ignoring him.
*BZZZZ* “Well, of course I don’t have a full name. I have a name. It’s Joey Fatone…like you said Josh.” Joshua stepped away from his host podium, “You know what? I don’t give a fuck what you bid, you dumb fuck. It’s a wonder that your ass even motherfucking passed preschool, you dumb shit. Get away from this studio right now,” Joshua walks to Joey’s desk and reaches his hands out to wring Joey’s neck. Stagehands flock to the two, to stop Joshua from killing Joey. Joey is turning purple from the lack of oxygen…to his non-existent brain. Lance is yelling to Joshua to hogtie Joey. Justin is on his knees in front of Joshua. He’s trying to guess Joshua’s cock girth. T h e E- You really don’t think I’ll end it like that do you? C’mon, there’s more. Later that evening… The studio, in which Jeopardy was taped, was virtually empty. The screens and microphones were turned off. The audience and crew area was very empty. There were no producers or censors running around in the backstage area pulling at their hair, wondering about the future state of the game show. It was quiet. Well, not all was quiet. On the stage area, there was a lot of buzzing going on. *BZZZZ* “Uhhhhh!” *BZZZZ* “Jesus…faster!” *BZZZZ* “Harder…baby…I need…uh…uh…it!” *BZZZZ* “I…knew…you…were…vocal! Jesus, Josh, you…y-you're soo…fucking tight!” Justin panted. Justin had cornered Joshua after security had pried Joshua’s hands off of Joey’s neck. They sent everyone home but Justin stayed…with Joshua. Justin had cornered Joshua on the Jeopardy stage. He backed Joshua to the constant’s aisle, splayed Joshua face first onto the desk, pulled down both of their pants down to their knees, spat on his hand, mixed his saliva with his own juices from his pulsating cock, stretched the game show host’s asshole and plunged right in. Joshua had been turned on by Justin’s bold and flirtatious antics from the middle of the show. Now his dick was pressed against the contestant buzzer. The buzzer kept going off every time Justin gyrated his hips deeper into Joshua. The buzzer was going off erratically, almost sounding like one single buzz. *BZZZZ* *BZZZZ* *BZZZZ* Joshua would never be able to look at a buzzer on his show the same way ever again. THE END (for real)