Justin began to spend more time at the house, so much time that it wouldn't be unusual for him to be sleeping over at Josh and Tyler's. Not that it would bother Joshua because it suited him just fine.
Tyler on the other hand…
He hated it. He hated not knowing when he woke up if he was going to have to see a smirking Justin lounging about his house, looking at the teen as if he was a piece of filth Justin would love to throw out. He never felt like that before. No one, not even his own brother made him feel that way. And the worst thing about it all was that he still wanted to fuck the bastard who was lovey dovey with his brother and ice cold to everyone else.
Justin's eyes, he learned Justin's name from hearing his brother calling his name out one night, were a blank, cold blue. Tyler didn't like the chills it put in his back so he began to stay out more often, sleeping over a lover's house preferably. It wasn't something he did often because to be honest, he loved his own room, his own bed, his own house. So he began to make himself scarce and stopped staying for weekends twice in a row.
Joshua wasn't fazed. He welcomed it. Now he wouldn't have to worry about Tyler and his friend's getting in his and Justin's way. Sometimes when he came home to find a sleeping Justin on his bed or couch, he'd like to think of them as live in lovers. But that was his deep secret alone, not even Lance knew. He had a feeling of what Lance would say.
Besides the fact that he hasn't been talking to Lance that much…or any of his friends that much. Joshua was in love and he wanted to spend every moment he could with Justin. No one could fault him of that could they? So what if he turned down invitations to parties with school friends? Or had not made up the missed study date or go to any of the following ones with Zander? So what if he hadn't seen Lance in two weeks? Or hadn't spoken to him in nearly a week?
Couldn't he put his friends on hold while he got to know Justin better?
And get to know Justin better he did. The two connected in all the ways possible without connecting on that last step that involved someone thrown on their back, getting their ass slammed.
Fears, wants, dreams, loves, likes and dislikes- mostly all was covered between them. No, Josh did not know what Justin did. He never asked. Justin never offered. It was like a silent agreement between them.
The two men got to know each other, to love each other more when those weeks passed like days. It almost became routine for Justin to stay for a few nights in a row and then beg off for a night or two. Then he'd come back with something, either something of his to leave over Joshua's or a little gift for Joshua. He was never empty handed.
They became a 'them', a unit, a couple in love.
The sun had risen for over seven hours that Saturday and the two continued to stay wrapped in each other's arms in Joshua's big sleigh bed. They breathed heavily against their sweaty skins, riding out their sensual finishes. Hand jobs in the morning became custom for the pair.
Joshua gleamed from on top of Justin. He knew Justin was watching every movement on his face, so he winked naughtily and licked Justin's nipple. He made sure to keep eye contact the entire time.
Justin placed his hands under Joshua's armpits and hiked the man up so they were eye to eye. "Don't start something you can't finish," he sighed.
Joshua brought his wanton tongue back out of his mouth and licked around Justin's lips. He whispered sweetly, "Who said I wasn't going to finish?"
"I'm sorry to say, it is me." Joshua stared, waiting to hear why Justin would turn him down. "I gotta see Joey today. I'll be back as soon as possible."
"Then go now. So you can be here sooner."
Justin smirked and lifted his head to kiss JC. When he pulled away, he said, "I love the way you think." Joshua rolled off of Justin and moved the covers to surround his abdomen. Justin stood up and scratched his ass. Joshua found the gesture oddly endearing.
He watched Justin throw on a pair of jeans from the floor, admiring the view when he bent over. Justin scooped a t-shirt off the carpet and put it, more like stretched it, on. "Uh baby? I think that's my shirt."
"I know. Now I'll smell like you all day." He looked deeply into Joshua's eyes and lifted the shirt off his chest to breathe in the cotton edge. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes to savor. "God you smell so good," he groaned. He walked back to the bed and cupped the back of JC's head. He kissed and groped Josh lewdly. "Think of me," he moaned and made his way out of the room. Joshua didn't move for six minutes as he tried to get his bearings.
*`*`*`*`*`*
Justin wasn't in the best of moods when leaving his boyfriend's house. After he pulled up to Joey's house and nearly busted his ass on an empty beer bottle left carelessly on the brown and green lawn, his mood was not improving.
He kicked the bottle out of the way and walked to the side door of the house. He entered and knew someone else was awake because he could hear Q's big ass mouth laughing from outside. He closed the door behind him and made his way to the dining room.
"Well, well. Look who's here Q? It's J. Where you been hiding bro?" Marti asked as he slapped Justin on the back. Justin slapped back nodding his head in greeting.
"Marti, you ain't know? Ole J here musta found himself some prime pussy." Q humped the air and moaned high-pitched moans to emphasize his point. "That's what me and Shah think." Before Justin could fathom a comment for Q, he was interrupted.
"Q, don't put my name in your guessing." Shah warned from the dining room. He nodded his head, "What up J." Out of everyone in their group, Shah was the coolest to Justin. He knew when and when not to ask questions. He certainly did not say things he assumed, like Q usually did. He waited until things were clear to him or wouldn't say anything at all. Q needed to take a page from his book.
"I've been around," he answered. "Is Joey here?" He came to see his closest friend. The only one who truly knew of Justin's sexual orientation. The only one who could know about the urges Justin felt seeing as how Joey was bisexual.
"Yeah he's upstairs playing Playstation," Marti informed him. Justin nodded once more and headed for Joey's room, which was on the main floor of the house. He walked in to find Joey sitting on his recliner with the game on pause, like he had been expecting Justin.
"Close the door, will ya?"
Justin not only shut it, he locked it. "What's up? You left a message saying it was urgent." He didn't need anyone to barge in, namely Q.
"You know it's kinda sad that the only way to actually get you here, I have to leave messages on your phone, Justin."
"Justin" alerted Justin that Joey was pissed cause he never called him by his full name.
He sat down on Joey's bed and looked at his older friend. "What the fuck is your problem? Hurry up too cause I have to go home." It slipped out of his mouth like second nature.
"Home?" He squinted his eyes in derisiveness. "Home?" Joey shook his head. "This is your home. You seem to be forgetting. Along with a lot of things." Someone outside the room played Jay-Z at high volume.
"Like what?" If Joey would get to the point, he could grab some more of his shit and leave. He knew JC would take him in with open arms.
"Like last week. You were supposed to get that Beemer for me, you remember?"
Justin mentally slapped himself. He did promise Joey a BMW he saw when he was in Myrtle Creek. "So I forgot," he shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. He had waited for Josh to finish working that night and decided to stay there with him too. The job slipped his mind as he had JC pressed up against some book stacks.
"Yeah, you forgot. You forgot that. Forgot that this is where you lived. Been taking your shit little by little outta your room. Have me making excuses to our friends so they won't know you with a boy. Some boy you ain't even know for two good months yet." He wasn't accusing, he was just stating the fact.
Justin didn't like where the conversation was heading. "Joey."
"Joey?" He snorted at hearing Justin saying his name. "You're changing J. What you think you better than us now?"
"Hell no." It was never like that. "I just want to spend time with my boy."
"If you visit him a couple of days then sure. No problem. But J, you fucking live there. You ignore your friends so quickly. This ain't like you man."
Justin stood up quickly letting some his anger penetrate his voice. "So what the fuck am I like Joey? I'm here now ain't I? You got a job for me now? I can do it. Stop whining cause I got a man to spend time with." He tried to not raise his voice but he couldn't help clenching his fists.
"Fuck you. I ain't whining." Joey stood up too and both of them held closed fists as they faced each other. "Really J. Is the ass that good?"
Justin froze where he stood. "Don't speak about him that way. Ever. I told you Joey. Josh is special. We're in love." His voice rang with finality, which unnerved Joey a little.
He decided to take another route with Justin since anger wasn't going to solve anything. He spoke like friend to friend. "So soon? You sure it ain't lust?" Justin was more a fuck 'em and go kind of person. Where was he getting this love crap from?
"I'm sure of that." He got a light in his eyes that Joey couldn't name but he didn't like it. "It's just different. We're different together," he spoke softly.
"Different? J, listen to yourself. Why don't you stay here tonight, alright?" Maybe this Josh was planting bullshit in his friend's head. Maybe he needed to get Justin away from this cat. "We can go over to Marti's girl's party and kick back and chill out."
"Nah. Me and Josh are going to spend the night in." His tone left no room for persuasion. He turned for the door.
Justin spending a Saturday night in and not drink, not party, not even work? "You know I remember that kid I met who had shit to his name and nimble fingers. He became to be sort of a brother to me." He threw himself back in the chair as he watch . "I'm just looking out for ya, J. If you change your mind, call me." Instead of an answer from his friend, all he got was a slammed door.
*`*`*`*`*`*
When Joshua awoke from the stupor Justin left him in, he went downstairs to get something to eat. He frowned when he looked in the fridge. He was in a lazy mood and didn't feel like turning the stove on to make breakfast. He almost moaned when he saw a box of pizza from the other night. He popped in three slices into the microwave and spun to dance to a song playing on the radio. Nearly jumping out of his skin when he saw Lance peering through his kitchen door window.
'Open the door,' he mouthed from outside.
Joshua went to the door with his hand over his heart. "You can't knock, ring a door bell or alert me you ass? I could have sworn I told you a thousand times to tie a bell around your damn neck." He scolded as he let Lance in.
Lance closed the door behind him and followed JC to stand in front of the microwave. "Well I ought to wring yours. Why in the blue fuck haven't I received a call from you in so long?"
"I've been meaning to call you. It's just that with school and work and-" The microwave ended and cut off Josh.
"Josh. Save the bullshit and your weak ass excuses. I think we already discovered that I know you. So say what it really is. Or should I say who it really is. Where is your Justin? Is that pizza?" He opened the microwave door and grabbed a hot slice, still waiting for Joshua to answer.
"Okay fine. It's Justin. He went out for an hour or so." He frowned as he watched Lance. "The reason why I took out three slices was because I planned on eating three slices."
He didn't look up from his pilfered slice. "You still got more?"
"In the fridge." Josh rolled his eyes.
"Good. Get yourself a slice and if there's anymore, can you get me two slices too?" He sat on a stool and ate. "Now are we avoiding each other and I didn't get the memo?"
Joshua went back to the refrigerator and bent to take out the pizza box once again. "Yes Lance we are talking. I'm not avoiding you. I'm in love and when you're in love you want to spend all the time in the world with that person. Justin loves to spend all of his time with me and so do I. What's the problem?" He asked a little defensively as he prepared another plate with three more sausage, pepperoni and mushroom pizza slices.
"There might be a problem with you blowing off your best friend Josh. Or hmm…spending all of your time with him? Are you telling me aside from work and school all you do is stare in his face?"
"We do more than stare," Joshua said smugly. He placed the plate into the microwave oven and started it.
"Well good for you. But you can do other things separately." He took another bite out of his stolen slice.
Joshua leaned haughtily against the counter. "Admit it you're jealous that you don't have a man like I do."
"Uh, hello. I'm a reformed gay man remember. I tried it once, didn't stick. I miss you Josh. I mean if you're blowing me off, hiding Justin from me, Lord knows what you did to your so called friends."
"I am putting the friends on hold for a little bit. That's all," he cajoled. "We just love to spend time with each other. You're making a big deal out of nothing," he shrugged carelessly though everything Lance said made him care just a little.
"Yeah? Why haven't I met the man you're in love with? Josh do you know that you made me meet Ronal the second day after you talked to him? Do you remember how long it took you to say that you loved him? Longer than you are with Justin. You never hid from the rest of society or shacked up with him like you are now."
"Justin's different."
Lance scoffed. "Different? Did you find out what he does? How he affords buying you all those nice gifts?"
Joshua folded his arms defensively and watched the pizza twirl inside the microwave. "It doesn't matter."
"Oh it doesn't, does it? I remember it mattered last time with your ex, Josh. But oh yeah that's right Justin's different. I forgot," Lance mocked.
The microwave dinged and Josh removed the steaming plate. "You've never felt like this."
"I did Josh. There was Jennifer remember?" He was talking about his last girlfriend that moved away to New Mexico. "I loved her so much but I still made time for you and my other friends. It was a healthy relationship."
"We're healthy," Josh said through tight lips. He took his slice and pushed the plate to his friend.
"Answer me this Joshua. I've been in this house for over five minutes now. Where is your brother?" Tyler was a morning person and not only that he liked Lance a lot. He respected his brother's best friend and would always say hello to Lance once the blonde man stepped into the house.
"He's not here obviously Lance." He angrily bit into the pizza.
"Yes Josh but where is he? He's usually fluttering around the house this time." He couldn't remember not having a loud Tyler not making his presence known on a Saturday afternoon.
Joshua rolled his eyes and chewed. "He's been staying out more often now."
"For how long?"
"For a few weeks. He probably found a new girlfriend or boyfriend to play with."
Lance thought it out as he finished off his second slice. "He might be or maybe he's avoiding you two." He remembered the last time he talked to Josh. He told him that Tyler wasn't there back then too.
"Lance! Must you be so dramatic? Tyler likes Justin. You just have to look for the drama in everything. Justin is the sweetest man in the world. He loves me so much. And I do him. Can't you be happy for me?"
"I'd like to once I meet him."
"You will." Joshua finished slice number two as well with a huge secretive grin on his face, "You'll love him. Lance, I think I want to have sex with him."
Lance choked on the bite of pizza in his mouth after he heard Joshua. His wide green eyes bulged out as he struggled to clear his blocked airway. He couldn't even voice his reaction when the door behind him was opened.
"Justin!" Joshua called out as he patted Lance's back. Lance's green eyes bulged as he struggled to clear his blocked airway but he managed to turn to see Justin. Justin stood quietly as he watched Joshua hover over some stranger, some strange man. He could feel something start to bubble inside of him. "This is Lance. Lance meet Justin." Josh gave Lance a swift hit on his back and Lance got the food out.
Joshua's comment splashed a wave of realization on Justin. It was Lance, straight Lance. There was nothing to worry about. He saw Lance fix his eyes on him and croak a request for water. Josh went to get it and Lance mustered a weak "Hey." He chugged the water as he watched his friend kiss Justin and took everything in. Gestures, speech, voice changes, everything because he saw that look Justin gave him before Josh introduced him.
"This is my best friend I blab about all the time Justin. We're having pizza, baby. You want any?" Josh asked as held onto Justin's free arm. He held a duffel bag filled with more of his clothes.
Lance got the feeling that Justin would rather eat with a hungry shark than him. He could sense that was not wanted even if Justin didn't say it or Josh didn't notice it. "You know what? I just remembered that I had to be somewhere." He finished his water and placed the glass into the sink. He moved to the door. "So I'll catch you two later."
"But-" Josh wanted Lance to get to know his boyfriend better. He thought that was what Lance wanted to do.
Lance turned around and ran back to the counter. He couldn't forget his pizza. He stacked the slices on top of each other and said his goodbyes.
"Bye Lance. I'll call you."
"Bye Lance," Justin smiled. Lance saw the happiness in Justin's eyes. He went to his car, eating and thinking about Joshua's boyfriend the entire way.
*`*`*`*`*`*
Joshua was happy that the phone rang. He and Justin were having a scary movie fest and the movie they were currently watching was freaking him out. "I'll get it," Joshua offered and giggled when Justin pinched his ass when he got up.
"Hello," Josh greeted happily.
"Hey Lance. Wait gimme a sec." Joshua looked and saw Justin engrossed with the movie. "Justin, I'm going to take the call. Watch it without me." Justin nodded and kept his eyes glued in the screen.
Josh took the cordless phone upstairs to his room to talk more privately. "Okay. So tell me."
"Tell you what?" He didn't know where his friend was going with this.
"What do you think about Justin?"
"He's very good looking." That was true but Justin didn't make Lance feel safe. The vibes that emanated from Justin during those few minutes around Justin didn't make Lance feel right. "Is he moving in with you?"
"No."
Lance sighed heavily into the receiver. "As good as that sounds, I don't think you're so sure. Don't make him move in."
He frowned. "What would be wrong if he moved in?"
Lance had to finish his case. "And I don't think you should have sex with him." There he said it and it felt good to.
Joshua was now agitated. "Where the hell is this coming from?"
"Look. You say that it doesn't matter what he does and all that other bullshit but it does. And then you say he's not moving in but he is."
Joshua interrupted, "I told you he is not."
Lance scoffed, "You act like he lives there. I don't think you would mind if he did." Then he corrected himself. "No, wait I know you wouldn't mind if he did. Don't you think you guys are moving too fast? When you were with Ronal, you-"
"I am not with him anymore," Joshua said tightly. "Get over him cause I have. Justin is nothing like Ronal. You didn't even like Ronal."
"You're right. I didn't and look what happened? There was something about Ronal that I couldn't trust. And now you're with this one and I can't figure him out."
"Just because I don't have a ten page report on his life for you, you want me to break up with him?" He was crushed that Lance would think of such a thing.
"I never told you to break up with him, Joshua." He clarified. "I think you two could do without seeing each other for a few days. You should try to do some things on your own. So should he. Go out, talk to your friends. You can have a life with Justin and without shutting people out." Lance argued. "
I have a fucking life Lance. I do hang out with my friends. I don't shut anyone out. It's not like I'm locking myself in the house with him. You saw that Justin went out when you came. Obviously he's not shutting himself in too. Why can't you be happy that I'm happy with someone who truly cares for me?"
"I am happy that you are happy. But you're not listening. You're not thinking clearly. You were a cautious person before Justin. And now you're just diving in head first into some rose covered pool, letting all rationality slip away. So maybe if you took a breather just for a little while, you can rethink this sleeping with him decision."
He laughed at Lance's absurdity. "I am being very rational. I love him. It feels so different than anyone else before."
"Well if it is different, you can wait." Lance wondered out loud, "Is he pressuring you?"
"You're not listening to me. You know he's not pressuring me. Justin would never do such a thing."
"Maybe he is and you don't know it."
"Maybe you should stop grasping at straws," Joshua told him stubbornly. If anything, this conversation was pushing him to go through with his plans.
"You waited the entire time with Ronal. And not even two months have passed and you're ready to have sex? Joshua, think about it." He argued a great point but Joshua was past listening.
"I have thought about it. That's why I told you. I thought you would support me and my decision. But you can't cause you have to look at every little detail. If I want to fuck Justin, I can and I will." He didn't need anyone looking out for him. "I don't want to talk to you right now."
Lance pleaded one more time. "I'm looking out for you."
"Yes, yes, yes." Joshua wanted off the phone right this minute. "You told me how you felt. I listened. I told you how I felt and still feel. So I guess we agree to disagree. Bye." He already moved the phone away from his face.
"Don't do anything stupid," Lance yelled. Joshua pressed the end button.
Stubborn thoughts swirled inside Joshua's head. He was past pissed with his best friend. The nerve of Lance telling him to not sleep with his boyfriend was ridiculous to him. Lance was the one who pushed the idea of them getting together in the first place and now when Joshua voiced his decision, Lance rushed to tell him to "have some space" with his boyfriend.
Unbelievable.
Joshua stood up and made his way back down the stairs. He was a man determined. He stopped at the doorway and took Justin in. Lance wanted him to step away from this? This wonderful man who was beginning to mean everything to him? Lance just didn't understand.
Josh slinked back into the darkened room and stood in front of Justin. "Baby you're blocking the screen," Justin said as he tried to look around the thin waist, playfully nipping him.
This made him sure that he was doing the right thing. He lowered himself on Justin's lap and kissed his boyfriend's protests of watching the movie. Justin quickly forgot about the movie as he surrendered to Josh's full lips. Pulling away with a resonant smack, he asked, "What's up?"
"I love you," Josh started.
Justin bit his lip gently. "I love you too."
"I want you."
He pressed his forehead against his boy's. "You have me."
"Yes. But I want all of you. I want to make love with you. I'm ready."
"You sure?" Justin didn't want to push. He remember what happened his first time. He was caught up in the hype with being with an older girl when he was thirteen and when she cornered him in back of his mother's garage, he couldn't wimp out and say no to the nineteen year old girl. It was the worst experience in his life.
"I'm so sure." The look in Joshua's eyes said it all.
Justin searched for the remote and stopped the movie. "Okay." He wrapped his arms around JC's back and moved to attack his lips.
Josh pulled his head back. "Wait. Not right now. There has to be candles and incense and-" Joshua had it planned out, how special his first time would be. He romanticized the event.
Justin held a finger over Josh's lips to quiet him and shook his head slowly. "Now's a good as time as any. We don't need anything more than you and me, only you and me." He moved his head towards Joshua's and let his tongue do some of the convincing in Josh's sweet mouth.
He moved to make Joshua lay on his back on the couch cushions and laid on top of him, grinding their hips and kissing his lips. Joshua looked dreamily into Justin's eyes. "Okay Justin. Let's go upstairs."