Random Quotes
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening. Anything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in rats.
I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it.
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
I've told you a million times, stop exaggerating!
There's no such thing as nonexistence.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
Avoid Alliteration. Always.
I have my doubts about disbelief.
Don't knock on Death's door ... ring the bell and run. He hates that!
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is a little like having a peeing section in a pool.
Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead.
Friends: People who know you well, but like you anyway.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If you are feeling unsuccessful just think about this: eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
the early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten.
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