THE HAGGIS
Documentation on the haggis ( Haggis haggis caledonensis, L.) is extensive but gives varying accounts of its anatomy.
Perhaps the commonest conception of it is as a small three-legged animal having one leg somewhat longer than the others such that it can conveniently run around the Scottish hills in a clockwise direction.
The haggis hunting technique called for great stealth in that the hunter would creep up behind the unsuspecting beast until he approached within three kilt-lengths of it, whereupon he gave vent to a loud sound.When the sound had been made, the haggis, surprised, would turn suddenly around and, now unbalanced because of his new attitude upon the slope of the hill, would generally fall over and be unable to regain his feet before capture.
Suitable Attire for Haggis Hunting
As a result of its greater elusiveness, the haggis began to disappear from the dinner table. Fortuitously, at this time, it was discovered that a reasonable synthesis could be achieved by the mixing of local grains with the finely chopped pluck of a sheep. Even the original appearance of the table-dressed haggis was realised in facsimile by the introduction of this mixture into the sheep's stomach or intestine, thus making it, at the same time. the first boil-in-bag convenience food.
Swimming Capabilities
A little known fact about the haggis is its aquatic ability - you would think that with three legs of differing lengths, the poor wee beastie wouldn't be very good at swimming, but as some of the Scottish hillsides have rather spectacular lakes on them, over the years, the haggis has learned to swim very well. When in water, it uses its vestigial wings to propel itself forward, and this it can do at a very reasonable speed.
Haggis are by nature very playful creatures, and when swimming, very often swim in a group - a bit like ducks - where the mother will swim ahead, and the youngsters follow in a line abreast. This is a very interesting phenomenon to watch,
The long neck of the mother keeping a watchful eye for predator.This does however confuse some people, who, not knowing about the haggis, can confuse it with the other great indigenous Scottish inhabitant, the Loch Ness Monster, or Nessie as she's affectionately known
the tourist can easily mistake a family of haggis out for their daily swim, as Nessie, this of course gives rise to many more false sightings, but is inherently very good for the tourist industry in Scotland.
The largest known recorded haggis (caught in 1893 by a crofter at the base of Ben Lomond), weighed 25 tons.
In the water, haggis have been known to reach speeds of up to 35 knots, and therfore coupled with their amazing agility in this environment, are extremely difficult to catch, however, if the hunter can predict where the haggis will land, a good tip is to wait in hiding on the shore, beacuse when they come out of the water, they will inevitably run round in circles to dry themselves off.
3 Legged Haggis
This process, especially with the larger haggis, gives rise to another phenomenon - circular indentations in the ground, and again, these have been mistaken by tourists as the landing sites of UFOs.
I hope this clears up some of the misconceptions about the Haggis, that rare and very beautiful beastie of the Scottish Highlands (and very tasty too).
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