5/5/02 (kal)
Well, I never thought I'd see it, but today is Matt-O-Mac's 1 year anniversary. The web site itself, I mean. I don't know or care when the person Matt-O-Mac's birthday is, but this website has sentimental value. To all of you, that is. And if it doesn't, I have succeeded in wasting your time. I am currently making a new image for the front page, concerning The Monkey slaughtering a three-year old and his friends and taking his cake for himself (we may be lucky enough to see a morsel of that cake, but looking at The Monkey, I doubt it). In honor of the anniversary, today I purchased the blue album, but because of legal reasons I cannot say what the album is really called or name the band that it is from. But I will tell you that it came with two cds and I got it from Wal*Marts (ah, the deals they provide [assuming the cds have no swears and are popular enough to be placed in the shelves]). This weekend I went to Kyle's house, where I marveled at his partially underground new bedroom. I must have marveled for nearly 27 seconds (give or take 27 seconds)! We mainly listened to System of a Down, Slipknot, and Tool, while headbanging and waking up the next morning with a stiff neck. We watched Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and Beavis and Butthead Do America. Beavis and Butthead was way better. Jay and Silent Bob was funny all the way through, but because of its lack of a plot of any kind, it didn't have an overall funniness to it. I completely lost hope in the movie when Mark Hamill made a guest appearance, dressed as The Cockknocker or something. But B & B had a certain innocence to it, and it was awesome. The fact that it had such a serious plot revolving around two shitheads who want to show you their bunghole (while saying "I have no bunghole") is a riot (pardon my lack of un-gay words... again). Kyle found a dead mouse in his room, and this began the plotting to... PISS OFF HIS SISTER! First, we went upstairs and began to tweak things. Kyle put an oatmeal goatee on Travis from Blink-182, I took the NSYNC and unlabeled cassettes and hid them, and I put some NOW cd in an oddly placed stocking on the wall. But the highlights were the "mouse under the blanket on the floor" and "subtle rearrangement of EVERY FUCKING THING IN THE ROOM". The upside down man became right-side-up... fiendish. The cups traded places... mysterious. The horse faced the other way... ingenious. The cheap green strobe light was left on... ghosts? Kyle also set her alarms for 4 and 5 in the morning, but they apparantly didn't wake her. But this trip to Kyle's house was preceeded by me visiting my cool uncle's house, where I noticed some Tom Waits cds... Then we continued to take my 84 year old grandmother, where she would sleep at our house.............. In my bed! For some reason, she did this last week, too. Yes, my 84 year old gramma. She responds to stimuli... she can walk at a blistering .5 miles per hour... She can recall various incorrect memories about other people that don't exist... She can sleep in my bed. When she had gone, I looked at my sheets and discoverred a reddish-brownish mark. I don't believe it was shit or blood though, but I have no idea what it could be. In the morning, my dad and uncle drove Gramma back to her place in New York, with my grandparent-aged aunt and uncle. I have to go now (well, I mean half an hour ago), because it is a school night after all. Fuck you too.

5/10/02 (kal)
Well, it was difficult to do it, but we went 5 days without updated. Was it as hard for you as it was for me? No, actually, I've just been way too fucking lazy to take the time to get on to the stupid fucking AOL. I can now say what the "Blue Album" I mentioned above was. It is the limited edition Toxicity cd from System of a Down, and it has the normal music cd plus a dvd featuring the video for Toxicity and live videos of Prison Song, Chop Suey, and Bounce. It's like, cool. Actually, I don't have much to say, so bye.

5/11/02 (kal)
Hey bitches and hoes, who wants to own a copy of your very own "Mattsterpiece Theatre Volume I: Idiosyncratic Conversations & Improvisational Music Provided by Kal"? If you do, check out the Pills section to your left. No, not that far to your left. Getting closer, closer, got it! Wait, too far to the right. Left, slow down a little, and........ stop. There you go, go into the page and look for something that pertains to the Matt-O-Mac Store, or as it most likely will soon be renamed, the Matt-O-Store. Yes, clever, isn't it? Hey, I may be doing a solo album soon, but still under the Pills name and still partially credited to Matt, and it will be a theme album. "The Pills Volume IV: When I Rule the World". I will write all the songs, I will play all the instruments, and I will even sing. Yes, yes, you say "kal can't sing, his voice sounds like shit!" Well, I just choose to sing stupidly, I actually won a bunch of singing contests in elementary school. They were all within Mr. Williams' class of course, like I'd go any further than that. But it will obviously be about me dominating the world and everything, and it will probably suck. Well I have to go now, I'll probably write again later today. Screw you.