4/4/02 (kal)
Hey, note the lack of us over the past few months. We've just been really... lazy. I changed the questions on the guestbook, they were still regarding Dan Pottter, so now they don't really concern anything. I also put my drawing of a brutal monkey bashing in a guys head with a baseball bat on the front page, and put his head as a breaker between guestbook entries. We've generally been writing on the Minion Empire, wasting ourselves and people like ours' time. We haven't done any reviews in a while, and we're way due. Matt's WAY overdue for a good review, and I have a month or two on me. I should have at least written on April 1st, fool. But I'm way too lazy. Don't expect much more writing from us in the next few months. But who knows; we may have a breakout.

4/05/02 (matt-o)
Yeah, I think I'll write part of one of reviews today and finish both tomorrow if I can, I have a birthday party to go to. Regarding our recent "slump" so to speak or as I like to call it " we don't give a fuck so you shouldn't either", I guess I'll start writing on the site (there's alot of writing I don't do on the site, mostly during boring classes like English and History and Algebra, etc.) more often since we've gotten such a great demand to write, actually just Alyssa. I guess the site we always recommend, Alice Boris's site, isn't good enough for Alyssa, well you know what Alyssa? Alice Boris kicks ass no matter what you say. And seriously what do we really have to say that we don't already say or that you just can't ask us? What did we have for dinner? Cheese, that's what. That's the kind of boring shit you'll get here (just kidding if that seemed like an attack on you 'Lyss). Regarding the human race and it's problem with monkeys that wield bats (and the ultimate supremacy that goes with that glorious bat), it's a good sign of things to come. I might even make a Pills art page for the site if we get a bunch of drawings and pictures together to do so, until then there's a similarity I'd like to show between the Iron Maiden monster and a certain teacher (if I can figure out how to put the picture up). ach. Kal, you put it up. It's large.jpg. I'll write again some other time I'm just very tired now, I had to watch two movies (training day was really good though).

4/06/02 (matt-o)
I'd write more today, but i've got to release a pack of vicious dogs into the Uconn Huskies parade. I will do a review later tonight (from 10-11p.m. proably), promise.

later that day.....(matt-o)
Can I please change the title of this webpage? I really hate my name as it's title. I hate seeing things like "the creators of Matt-o-Mac" everywhere. Anyway, today I went to a birthday party and took a lesson in rollerblading. I also managed to win 200 tickets from this wierd dinosaur bone machine in one try, in turn for the tickets I won a toy truck set and put it in my easter basket along with the candy, a choclate bunny, a wax cup with a ping pong ball inside it, and my pink floyd cd case (whoever said the amount of stuff in one's easter basket doesn't get larger AFTER easter).
"Lines and the light stream Screaming by the scream Burning down Not me you see me suffer Haunted by your spirit Undead by your spit Taunted by yourself alive Dazed and burning state Hazed and spinning fate Dazed and Burning I say I can't come You say this ain't home Hating this I mouth your name This is not my life This is not my home This is not me I Hate this Your voice in my mind Come home it ain't time Burned down Not me you see me suffer Solace to inspire Lowness to my fire Taunted by yourself alive Dazed and burning state Hazed and spinning fate Dazed and burning I say I can't come You say this ain't home Hating this I mouth your name This is not my life This is not my home This is not me I Hate this" sorry about that, i'm just listening to static-x right now and they are awesome! I burned a cd of all but three of their songs, including two songs that were long and pointless (A dios alma perdida also has just lots of empty space with nothing after) and one song I had to take out to fit on my 74-minute cd. If I had a full 80 minute cd I would have only had to take one song off. A couple of their songs are lyrically short, but they really make up for it with awesome music that sounds like Metal Techno/Rob Zombie. Apparently, according to some monkey on my back, the clocks go back tomorrow at 2 a.m.. Damn. I guess I'll have to sleep in late to make up for it. Note to Alyssa: I was just joking, you don't have to get Alice Boris to defend you.
Ach! I saw that Zoolander movie tonight and WHAT THE FUCK?! David Bowie is in it! As I saw this I destroyed the television much like a monkey would a human (with a louisville slugger). Now I have no T.V.! FUCK YOU DAVID BOWIE! WHY DON'T YOU "Changesbowie" INTO SOMETHING DEAD. "Otsego Otsego Otsego Otsego go Strenghtening shroud of night waiting weak for taste of blood beneath a halo Eternal night I survive Breathe on Inhuman Undying feast of blood now Pulse through me Immortal I'm undying Eternal Undead" Ha. Sorry again. In other news, that review I promised to do won't be done because I left my SYSTEm OF A DOWn cds in my mom's car (cue "Platoon" music and scream at sky, cursing me and my update-lying nature). But I feel horrible about it, so next week i'll do both SYSTEm OF A DOWn and a Tool review, I promise, will do. My cd is almost running out of time on it (I skipped to the part where the "Machine" songs start because I don't listen to those songs enough compared to the "Wisconsin Death Trip" songs) so i'm almost done writing.
I got my glass frames today and picked a pair I like, in a couple days my glasses will be ready and I can have another canadian mint for my troubles.
"Everyone do the concrete slab in the slag heap, doot doot do doot doot doot doot do ......"

"Stop talking"-Alssa (note from kal: there's supposed to be a 'y' in there)

4/9/02 (kal)
You're crediting "stop talking" to alyssa? Do you realize how many other people relentlessly tell you to do so? I myself recall several instances where I have told you to stop talking, but most of the time there are other assisting words to spice up the sentence, such as "shut", "the", "fuck", and "up". I realize that 4/9/02 doesn't fit under the week of 4/1-4/6, but you can just shove that up your ass. Look below this sentence to find the picture that matt was talking about in 4/5 (before he tastelessly began typing static-x lyrics), plus my rendition of Mrs. Large.


The left picture, provided by matt, is of an Iron Maiden album, the creature on the front being Eddy, Iron Maiden's mascot. He's not "the iron maiden monster" matt, have some respect. He's a drawing too! And my picture is of Large, now just try to imagine her hair being a horribly dyed hue of orange, and her being far more wrinkled than you could possible imagine. Death, if you can't read it, is saying "i've had enough, come with me", meaning that she is extremely past her prime, and she actually died in 1908. But seriously, once I get a yearbook I'll scan her real picture and show you the absolute horror that is... Mrs. Large! Say people, do you think Matt is being far too dark for his own right? So do I. Matt, stop it. You just can't have a dark side, you don't have the personality. You aren't depressing matt, your sense of humor isn't dark, your brain is too happy. Stop liking bands too heavy for you, and referring to them as "awesome!", the way you say it just isn't heavy metal. You seriously need some time to grow into your position, you've only REALLY started getting into music since eigth grade. No matt, it's true. All of our other friends and I have been listening to music since at least fifth grade, and I had to sit through country over and over even before that. But you had no real grasp on music until your outbreak last year, in which you liked bands that were right for you. You liked the Beatles, of which you of course had been listening to mindlessly since you can remember, but you began to better understand it last year. And you got into the Doors, and Bob Dylan, and other old music stuff that you liked and began to understand. But then as ninth grade rolled around the corner, you began trying desperately to fit in with the heavy metal scene, but your lack of music experience and too much exposure to Bob Dylan led to you to appear awkward and unable to find a good way to like it. You have forgotten all about the beatles and the doors and bob dylan because people like alice boris don't like them, so out the door. You forget your roots, and you fall over. Like the beatles again for a while. Put away your heavy stuff. Do stuff that feels natural, but don't act on impulse. You're coming over this weekend for a seminar on HOW TO LIVE. I will give you full instructions on how to act, music wise and just plain living. Aside all of this mindless bitching that I'm shitting out of my mouth, this weekend I went to the mall (I know, it's so cliche, isn't it?) and got three or four items, depending on how you look at it. I got Opiate, Tools first EP, which sure isn't worth the fucking 15.95 I had to pay for it, but man it kicks ass. There aren't any dumb or wasted songs, each one kicks major slabs of fat ass. There are only 6 (7, including the bonus song) songs on it, so 16 dollars doesn't seem fair. Aren't EPs supposed to be about 10 bucks? Apparantly FYE doesn't think so, the stupid cunts. According to toolshed.down.net, Tool was supposed to release a live EP called Gammon on April fools day, but they didn't, I guess. But their video Parabola is debuting in 5 days! I hope it doesn't suck ass! I hear it includes Parabol at the beginning, making the track about 8 or 9 minutes long, and if they edit any of it out I'm sending death threats to MTV. But Opiate is really cool, I'll have to do a review soon. Item # 2: Wilderness, the lost poetry of Jim Morrison. It's pretty cool, you can see where a lot of the songs from the Doors get their roots from. According to the introduction, Horse Lattitudes was one of the first poems Jim wrote, and it was somewhere around 9th grade. it is different than the song on Strange Days though, so I don't know any story behind all of that. But next visit to the mall I will probably get volume II of his poetry. Item 3(or 4): A Gameboy advance and Golden Sun. The gameboy is pink, because my sister wanted it and needed to have it in order to play the new mary-kate and ashley game, Give us Your Money. So it's technically hers, but since she'll only play it two times in her life, it's basically mine. I'll just have to live through the pinkness. But Golden Sun is completely mine, it's an RPG that I'm sure I've talked about a few times before on the site, but the previous two items mentioned will not be available to me or my sister until the summer. So die, die, die my darling. Shut up. Ah, I feel I've talked enough today. I just hope you leave disoriented, oh and confused too.