3/9/02 (kal)
Damn, I am the laziest person I know. I've been laying in my bed all day, watching comedy central and AMC, wearing my metallica t-shirt (which has also been my pajamas for the last few months), and listening to all of my primus cds, sometimes twice, as I do every weekend. Have you noticed that I haven't written in about a week and a half? Serves you right, you over-expecting bastards and bitches. Hey, is it just me, or did my mom just walk in? I hope she didn't see the swears scattered all over my computer. I don't think she did, because all she said was hello. Why am I typing this? I should just erase this now. My what utter irony that I don't. As I said, I've been watching AMC, that channel kicks major ass. This morning I watched part of Raiders of the Lost Ark, and then Temple of Doom. It was a breath of relief to not have to watch all those nazis die again in Temple of doom, it was nerve wrecking in Raiders. The thing about AMC is that it has about an hour of movie, two minutes of commercial, then whatever's left of the movie. Definitely not Strictly commershil. What other channel could get away with that without you having to pay extra? None, because AMC is also the only channel that plays Vincent Price and Boris Karloff movies. Hey, what's the last thing I wrote about? You have missed so much of my toil. I served a second detention on Tuesday (yes I know it's a little late to be talking about Tuesday but bear with me), because Mrs. Large forgot her crystal meth that morning. Yes, and my mother had to talk with Mr Tardiff about me not applying myself. I also lost privelidges to anything electronic in the house from Tuesday-Friday. I however managed to pull ahead by giving mon soeur a $, thereby giving me access to guitars and video games, on Friday. Oh damn, I still haven't written about me getting Tales From The Punchbowl and Brown Album on Saturday. Well, I did. There, happy? Actually, they kick large portions of ass, and are sure to replace the mud shark in your mythology. Punchbowl is enhanced, meaning it can be used dans l'ordinateur (if that's wrong, blame it on Mrs Lauden), and it is the coolest thing I've ever seen a music cd do. It features you riding in the S.S.Primus, led by Captain Shiner. You travel to some 14 islands, featuring videos to all of the songs (except Captain Shiner, but you can hear that while traveling to one of the other songs). Plus, it has an island for Pong Hell, pong on speed. It is literally impossible to win that game, I've played hundreds of rounds and never gotten one point. Each round consists of 15 points, and you can go through a round in about 5 seconds. Also, there's an island for a bonus song Hello Skinny, originally by the residents. Get it, seriously, even if you don't like Primus. Hellyeah. And Brown is probably primus' worst cd, but it's still damn good. There's -- i'd never think i'd say it but -- too much use of the pinky slide. I know, I know, pinky sliding is a great technique (matts the only one here who knows what the hell I'm talking about, but fortunately, he's also the only one here), but there's nothing but pinky slide in all of the songs, except for a few solos. Enough about primus, lets talk about me! Since it's been decided that I'm not getting a gamecube for Easter, my mom has willingly decided to let me order "Les Claypool's Frog Brigade Vol 1&2 (autographed)", "Sausage: Riddles are abound", "Les Claypool and the Holy Mackeral highball with the Devil", and "Primus: Rhinoplasty". Since the Frog Brigades are only 25 bucks each(signed!) and all the others are only 10 bucks, that comes to 80 bucks, 120 less than a gamecube. I of course will also find other things to satisfy my needs. Today, my mom went to the mall with a friend (yes, contrary to popular belief, people over 40 actually do have friends), and I gave her $15 to pick up Tool: Opiate (which I just saw there last week), and it had apparantly sold out. I mean, who the hell buys tool cds? And last week, I went to Target looking for Opiate (it had been there the other 10 times i've been there), and it wasn't there. Who goes to target and gets tool cds, namely their 6 song overpriced EP 1992 debut, that no one that goes to target would know about? The music business is out to get me. Don't laugh, you wouldn't laugh if you're been suckered out of getting the one remaining cd from the band you love. So I really need to do some primus reviews, there should be at least one done by the end of this weekend. And by at least, I mean at most. What else? Oh, commercials I hate, look for it tommorrow. But for now, beware the beaver.