News 10/1 - 10/5
10/1/02 (kal)
You know, we've been planning on restarting this site for about two months now, and last week we finally did. We missed several events, such as the anniversary of September 11th (you can probably imagine the pissed shit I'd have to say about that), and other things that I don't even care or remember about. Within the past week, a band has been formed, but little is known about it at this point. Also, I believe a certain Minion Empire is crumbling as we speak. The rise in visitors is followed by a drop in minion economy. Speak no more, Alice Boris! And since the Matt-o-Mac site is ALWAYS at an all time low, we don't have to worry about anything but our own lack of writing (which seems to come fairly easily). I doubt this comeback will last very long, but hey, gloat while you can. The site will soon be at full stride, with several things running. Don't count on it though. I really need to start up the Commercials I Hate section, because there are some FUCKING annoying commercials out there. I've missed so many already though, it may be hard to start. I bid you all adieu, or however it's spelled. For those confused minions, please visit the monkey link, to your left. He will be your new master. F-F-F-F-F-F-F-fuck.
10/3/02 (kal)
Hey fucks, I'm back to update again. Among some of the things we've missed, there is one thing that I regret to inform all of you. Comedy Central has decided to no longer have... Battlebots. Yes I know, it was probably all of yours' favorite show, but it's times like these where we must stand strong and rise above. It was one of the funniest shows comedy central had to offer, with hilarious plots and characters, with unique skits, and of course the love that came from it. Oh wait, that was upright citizens brigade. That show kicked ass! Screw Battlebots, they should have caught on that it sucked on the first season! I would just like to say "FUCK ALL OF YOU FOR NO APPARANT REASON!" Okay, I'm good now. Already within the time we've returned, another horribly stupid event has taken place. Steven Congdon has officially converted to rap. That fucker, now I hate him even more. He says "Oh, rap has a rhythm!" If you'll notice, that's the ONLY excuse rappers have against rock. So I said "and rock doesn't?" And then he mocked the screaming thing that Slipknot does. Okay people, not all rock is screaming. And besides, vocals aren't a rhythm based thing anyways. Unless you're the human beatbox, which none of you obviously are. Hold on, I need to tear out a big fucking chunk of my hair as I sit and hate. Okay, done. FU CKF UC KFU CK FUC KF UCK FU CKF UC KFU CK FUC KF UCK FU CKF UC KFU CK
10/4/02(kal)
Hey there kiddies, gather round. Who's your foremost friend in town? From Main to Maple, the name resounds, PROFESSER NUTBUTTER! It's all right to fear the worm... Okay, As my fellow Wheeler students know, today was the French field trip, though none of the people that visit this site WENT to it. I can say for a fact though, that it blew singe balls. It just reminded me how GAY frenchies are. Oh, oui oui madame. Je suis une homosexual, ho ho ho. Je mange singe balls. What else to say? who cares? I'm already bored of writing. I swear I'm developing a case of ADD, because I can't fucking concentrate on anything. I look at words in a sentence and all I see is: "FSJOI L:K JOIDFSJPSD KL:J :SDIFLJ P DFS: KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL IOSDFJ PSM:FIOSPF SKILL IJPSOF :SKLVMDKILL PSO FD:SLDKILLSDF PSOIDF ILL SDFIOPSDFJ:LKJ KILLK FSDOFPJSDKFILLLKLIJ SPDFOISJDFKILLI FPSDOIFJLSIDFJLIIILKKILLKLJ PFOPSIDJ L:KJIDSKLFJL:KFJP". Fopuck.
10/4/02 (Matt-o)
Hmmm, I viddy Kal has become a violent little malchick with all this I slooshy about tolchcoking innocent people 'till they go blurp, blurp with the red kroovy comin' out their big gullivers. Ha! I didn't go on that field trip, I got to watch " ever after" (insert bullet in head) instead. I didn't really watch it, I spent most of the class talking with others and insulting the movie, which seemed to tick off the substitute a little bit because she claimed she liked it. Gym was horrible, I think any friendship contract should not include enduring horrible amounts of torture, just because the other is willing to do so (subliminal message and inside joke: "I know where you live for the most part..... DIE! You know who you are!). Has anyone noticed that our articles have degenerated into messages no one, not even the creators of the site get all the way through? I guess i'll be a little more expletive in the future, but noright now. At the end of English class there was a debate set up about whether or not reciting the Pledge of allegiance was right. When it came to my turn (I was on the against side) I kinda sucked, which was unusual because usually i'm really good at debating, I was just at a loss of words. What I was trying to say was that the in-light of the terrorists attacks on America, America took advantage of this to promote the nation. Notice the line "took advantage" and the previous line "terrorist attack", that doesn't exactly conduce to a good excuse for a promotion. I also believe that the pledge was something we all did in kindergarten, regardless of law, and that was a time in which we were very carefree and didn't think much about anything. By instituting the pledge with law, the goverment is almost saying "don't worry, god's in heaven and America's safe, don't worry about the government". But let me tell you this, I'll bet that in most any other counrty, they also have a line similar to "under god", you'll just have to figure out and hope (or not hope depending on who you are) who has got god on their side.
oh, the history books tell it
they tell it so well
the cavalries charged
the indians fell
the cavalries charged
the indians died
Oh the country was young
With god on it's side
If you want to know who wrote that and see the rest of the poem, check out the song of the day section. I'm about puttered out, oh and to make sure I say fuck atleast once in this article (I mean not doing that would be blasphemous) "fuck you and your turtle bosworth, Fuck red dog, who since he wasn't infected with the virus I was during our month hiatus, has no excuse for bad grammer."