My two least favorite commercials in the world are the ones with that lady holding a phone saying "don't you love waiting for the sun to go down to make your calls? I mean, what could you possibly have to say during the hours you're actually awake?" and the one where she says "when you sign up for free minutes with your long distance, you get a bucket full of minutes, but if you look, you can barely see the weektime minutes. Oh wait hold on, there they are. (In annoying baby voice that has brought me to homicide) Hello little minutes!" I HATE THOSE TWO COMMERCIALS! She's ugly and completely NOT funny! I wish she would die!
Now it's not in any specific order. Next are the extremeley boring commercials of "The law offices of Roni Lynn Deutch". There's one where there's a boring screen with a maroon frame on the top and bottom and a blue screen in the middle with text scrolling up it. What kind of a name is Roni Lynn Deutch? It's pronounced RON-nee lin Doyt-ch. Doyt-ch? He should shoot himself. What the heck are these commercials doing on Nickelodeon anyways?
Next is a commercial about traveling to wherever you want, probably travelocity or something. There's this lady saying "we went to Canada to see Indians, and that's where we found the Pot-Latch. IT'S NOT A POT LATCH! IT'S PRONOUNCED POT-LUCK! GEEZ! DIE!
Next is a specific part of a commercial. It's for the Shotime Women commercial, when the guy says "more villians", it shows this ugly old lady take out these handcuffs and it looks like she has a sex slave or something. EEEWWWEE! Who'd want to be her sex slave? Even if that's not what it is, she's still incredibly old and ugly and it looks like she dyed her hair dark black. DIE!
Any Geico commercials. They're just not funny, at all. Like the guys parachuting to the site of the accident. Not funny. The I have to keep my identity hidden commercial. Not funny. There must be something in the water theory. Not funny. The Gecko commercials. The first one was okay, but I didn't think they were going to expand on it! Then they changed his voice to make it gayer, then they made it entirely not funny. "Hello, I'd like to change my name to Komodo Dragon." How about........ no. Get some better writers on your staff. Then, DIE!
That's all for today, I don't want to overdo it.
7/17/01
Hey, sorry I skipped a day, but maybe I should regularly skip days because there aren't that many commercials I hate. But I'm gonna start off with a commercial most of you are probably wondering about. I just forgot about it, that's all.
Carrot Top. All of you hate the commercials. I do, you do, they're not funny. Not at all. On the most recent Man Show, he was classified as one of the most annoying people in the world, along with the male flight attendant who thinks he's a comedian, the guy who jogs in place, the guy who watches your lap dance, and someone else I can't quite remember. Look at his face. He looks like a dried fruit, which he is, really. Seriously, take him off the air.
The commercial with Verne Troyer (Mini-Me) and Michael Jordan. I can't remember what it's for, but are they really so desperate that they use two large public figures? It's where Verne says "remember when I hit a homerun?" then Jordan says yeah, then Verne says "remember when I beat you 1 on 1?" then Jordan says "what was the score?" then verne says "uhhhh, I don't remember." That's not funny. And I don't remember what it's for, so in both areas they have failed.
The Taco Bell commercial where that guy starts singing in a Western style, "I'm just a man just a guy just a dude and I'm hungry". then a crowd of people behind him start singing along and they run down to Taco Bell and run into the window and say something about steak. I don't like Taco Bell to begin with, and now they're starting with this crap? You've just kept me from even getting that ice cream taco, which is the only thing that tastes somewhat good. GOODBYE!
Three a day is good, and I have plenty more. See ya.