Holiday Fever- Please don't get offended and sue


(like the look of the page? We're testing new backgrounds now) Matt, here with your pre-holiday wrap up. First let me say a WARNING: I don't celebrate Hanaukah (notice how I can't spell it), Kwanza, or any of those other wacky holidays. So I'm telling you if you do celebrate a holiday outside of Christmas please don't be offended that I don't mention any of those other stupid holidays (Woops!).
Just a moment ago I heard on television that the official holiday shopping season (which has washed away the true meaning of Christmas from the general public) starts the day after Thanksgivng. Notice the word "official". Who exactly dictates the beginning of the shopping season? I thought at first it might be the M.A.L.L., which stands for "Military.Advertisement.Level."L" (we still don't know what the last "L" stands for, our last spy was killed while attempting to infilitrate the evil military outpost when looking at some new test bombs with wicks on them that smell like coffee and strawberry found in one the factions of the evil outpost called "Yankee Candle Co."), that began the season since they all have sales the Friday after Thanksgiving. This idea was nixed since some M.A.L.L.s start the season in july with some stupid "Christmas in July" gimmick(according to these M.A.L.L.s Christ was born in July a.k.a. Lutherans). We still have no confirmed idea as to who exactly starts this season, but we'll keep you posted.

Wacky Foreigners!

I was looking through the sunday newspaper (not looking through articles, but looking through the junk to find the comics of course) when I found the next best thing to the comics, advertisements and articles about video games and holiday traditions. So for those with benefits of eyes and the ability to read i'll write down some of the wacky things people do for Christmas.(i'll add more when I regain the newspaper from my mom)

Some people have a huge feast with their family while leaving an empty seat open (just in case Jesus decides to dine with them, i don't mean that sarcastically, if you think about it, it's a pretty thoughtful thing to do). The feast has...get this... 12 COURSES! 1 for each apostle. All in all it's a nice gesture and all but unless theses courses are small, people are going to need to remove their belt, unbutton their pants, and have a doctor ready to unclog their ateries after this meal.

Well, Polands at it again. Apparently for some Polanders the idea of death by over stuffing isn't enough. In Poland an uneven amount of people at the dinner on Christmas Eve can mean bad luck and....the DEATH OF A FAMILY MEMBER WITHIN THE NEXT YEAR. So if you're Polish and only 5 people show up for your dinner, invite some of your Jewish friends, who will have finished blowing out the minourah by then.The strangest thing about this is that their might be some truth to back this up.

There are more so i'll write those up soon. Maybe i'll do a "12 days of Christmas" type thing. Until then I'll leave you with my Christmas list (so far).

Back to 20/100

My Christmas list