Commercials is morons.
Commercials, as you should know, suck a lot. One thing that pisses me off particularly is a method I call "being a dumbass". Well, that sums it up with a title, but let me specify. Whenever commercials sell a product that claims to enhance your food, body, penis, whatever, they always make the pictures severely out of context. For the before picture of, say for a steak sauce, they would show a black and white picture of a piece of uncooked hamburger. But after applying a dap of A1 or whatever, suddenly the hamburger is a grilled piece of steak, with herbs and parsley, a wine glass, actual grill marks, and instant dumbass. I'm sure anyone who watches the commercial thinks to themselves, "wow, i want steak, but I only have hamburger... and some A1 sauce! According to the commercial, I don't even have to cook it!" So the worthless piece of shit gets salmanilla and fucking dies because he's a stupid goddamned waste of space and listened to a stupid commercial. And with any type of body enhancing pill/machinery, they always show a picture of a dirty, greasy, fat, ugly piece of shit, then a highly attractive, toned, and intellectually talented member of the community. But as if that's not retarded enough for you, I have literally seen commercials where the person in the "before" picture is actually a different person than the one in the "after" picture. It really made me question things. Like, "why are you so goddamned stupid?", "why do you have to suck so bad?", and "why haven't I said fuck you yet?". People are really incompetant, you know? They make me want to chat with Jerry over AOL instant messenger.
Also, you know what sucks? Commercials that still have "jingles". Like this empire carpets or whatever? Their song is their phone number. Something like "1-800-588-2300", but they've got some lameass chicks with bad voices singing, so the "Five-Eight-Eight" sound like "Five-Eighty", and if you just remember the song, you might end up calling something different, like Matt's house. And you don't want that, do you? He's busy getting in catfights with Jerry anyways. But back to the jingles, they all sound like they were written in the fifties, and the fifties were almost as gay as the eighties. We seriously don't bash the fifties enough on this site. What a waste of time, everyone sucked so bad. Except for cool people, who didn't suck quite as much. But I think we all know who the cool people were. So much that I'm not going to tell you. Ooh, I bet you're mad now. You want to know what you know. But I tell you what; you will never know what you know, unless I tell you.
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