Okay, so I was watching TV (nickelodeon, what?), and on comes this commercial for Apple Jacks. Apparantly, there was a poll type thing a while ago, questioning whether kids wanted Apple Jacks to taste more like apples or not. I would have voted for the new flavor, simply in the hopes that the company realized the cereal is shit to begin with. But anyways, the vote came out and the cereal tasted the same.
But soon after, they released a poll asking whether kids wanted blue carrots or brown bananas. Blue... carrots or... brown bananas... I was torn. So much that the thought of Apple Jacks left my mind before the commercial was even over. But time passed, seasons changed, and people got anxious. Just yesterday, a new commercial revealing the results pops on, much to my uncaring surprise. I had forgotten that Apple Jacks exist, let alone the choices, of... blue... carrots... and...
anyways, the winner was blue carrots. What were the results, 10 to 2? What the hell? I've never ever seen anyone eat Apple Jacks. If given a choice of cereals, no one would pick Apple Jacks. If given a choice of horse shit and Apple Jacks, no one would pick Apple Jacks. This is the worst last-ditch effort to get someone to buy a product since Backstreet Boys Volume I: The Hits.
I wasn't even really paying attention when it first came on, I was probably doing something more important, like zoning out, or staring at a bump on the wall. But it came on again today, and I unfortunately caught what they were talking about. I still didn't understand why so many kids were protesting outside the Apple Jacks building, there must have been about... 12.
Most were dressed as blue carrots, and there were maybe 2 holding a brown banana sign or something. But please tell me what the hell blue carrots or brown bananas have to do with anything, let alone a struggling cereal? I would have thrown up simply eating the cereal by itself, but with the addition of blue carrots, there's sure to be a puddle of bile on the floor.
Then at the end of the commercial, some old guy is celebrating, and a thought bubble pops out and says "Still don't get it". Oh good, now they're appealing to my crowd, the ones who don't know, don't care. If you ask me, they should go back to having five kids and a campleader in a tent, yelling "We just do!" or whatever the unmemorable phrase was, as the screen fades to black and you hear the campleader's pants unzipper.
This has been Kal, hating things a little bit more every day...
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