Modern Comedies are so Funny!
You know, there's nothing better than sitting through two and a half hours of black people talking about yo mama. Well, there must not be, because the majority of the population thinks so. Modern comedies are nothing but bullshit wrapped up in a pleasant theme, and tied with a humor on top. Or was it a tumor? But all of the modern funny movies involve loads of ebonics, whether the cast is primarily black or not (but of course, it's illegal to make a movie without black people in it). Look at that stupid recent movie with Steve Martin and what's-her-face-fat-ass-bitch lady (not oprah, the other one). You get Eugene Levy sitting there, being a stupid fucking dipshit, saying things that are hip. But of course, that's what's so funny! A middle aged man with a strange voice saying "You got me straight trippin, boo!" is no cause for alarm. If one drives up to you on the street, be sure to get in his car and eat his candy. Eugene Levy alone is enough to make me drive a pitchfork through my brain. He has the same role in every movie, to be highly exaggerated and to say things that don't sound right. EVERY MOVIE! I hate him and his fucking bearskin rug eyebrows.
Comedies aren't even funny anymore, people are cued to laugh by the tonation of the speaker. Certain hand and body movements, along with that just right 'tude, causes people to think that what was said had some comedic value. It rarely does. I saw this one commercial a little while back, but I can't remember what movie it was for (Ha ha, their ad campaign totally failed), but there was this guy doing some girl, and another girl came in. She's all like "What?" and he's all like "Uh oh" and she's all like "Oh no you didn't". Then the guy says "what, we're just having sex!" That is a very unlikely thing for someone to say, and thus the ability for someone to relate goes down, and it becomes a generally unfunny statement. But wait, the shit is only on the way to the large intestine. She then says, "So, what, I should come back in five minutes?" WHAT THE FUCK? I'm sure a lot of people were like "Whew dogg, five minits is som funy $#!T!" But think about it... Absolutely no creative processes were in the works at that point, because if they really wanted something funny, something people can relate to, something with a shred of wit, she should have said "So, what, I should come back in thirty seconds?" You see, that has humor and edge, because premature ejaculation is funny! Most guys (myself not included) can relate, and an unfortunate amount of girls can too. Saying "five minutes" has no comedic potential in it, it's not an insult, it's not funny, it's just there. And they bothered to put it in the commercial. Nice job, shitface.
Back to 20/100