Interview with Avril Lavigne

Hey guys, recently I interviewed Avril Lavigne, and I thought you would all like to see. This is an in-depth look at the one so affectionately called "the punk rock princess".

KAL: So Avril, how are things going with you?
AVRIL: Oh, kickass, eh? People will kiss any ass if you wave it around in their face for long enough. I guess I was just lucky enough...
K: Shut up.
A: Okay.
K: I hear your record is selling well.
A: Yeah, I think my mom bought it. She's very appreciative of my point of view, which is that I am the most talented person ever.
K: You really think so? Because I've known a few electricians who can strum a guitar better than you.
A: What!? Let me at 'em, I beat people up because I'm insecure and nobody liked me in high school!
K: I've heard you have an interesting live show?
A: Hell no, I just tell people it is, and they believe me. It's not really me singing in the album, it's someone who can sing. Meaning not me.
K: Well, I thought there was something wrong with the fact that you occasionally hit the right notes on the songs.
A: I skateboard, you know.
K: Really? I don't give a flaming fuck.
A: When I'm onstage, I like to fall asleep and think about hamburgers... Mmmm...
K: And a good helping of dipshit?
A: Yeah...
MATT: Oh my God, Avril? I'm your biggest fan!
K: Shut up Matt.
M: Okay. Goodbye.
A: No wait, I have fans? I always wondered who those people were when I stand onstage and menstruate. I don't wear pads, because I don't do what other people do. I'm willing to have a big green spot on the front of my pants if I'm out of the ordinary.
K: Green?
A: Someone never took health class. I'm Canadian. Grrr!

The interview ended at this point, when Avril saw a butterfly and chased it out of the room. She followed it up a tree, but then she fell and broke her neck.

This has been Kal, interviewing a national legend.

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