Hey Arnold: Shut Up.
One day, about six years ago, someone decided to make a very shitty show with no premise, no set character roles, and pathetic artistic interpretation. This show, as you've guessed by the title of the page, is "Hey Arnold!". Hey Arnold! sucks. A lot. Hey Arnold! is one of the worst and poorly created shows I have ever had the extreme misfortune to have seen.
I merely hated Hey Arnold before maybe two days ago, but then, something happened. Something evil... Something stupid... Hey Arnold! ripped off Looney Tunes. "WHAT?! Hey Arnold! cannot rip off Looney Tunes", you're probably saying right now. But did they? Yes. Hey Arnold! ripped off Looney Tunes.
You've all seen the old-skool episodes of Looney Tunes, where Bugs is a composer or star of a famous classic operatic play. And if you haven't, get a life. Seriously. Anyways, the creator of Hey Arnold!, I think Craig Bartlett might be his name, or something totally unsweet like that, decides to pull a major and large RIPOFF of Tex Avery by having the class go to an opera. Already, you can tell this episode is going to be like a side-kick to the face. They get there, saying typical dumb-shit fourth-grader stuff like "oh, operas are totally gay" and gay shit like that. But somehow, they are suddenly swayed by the mere mention of the title "Carmella", in which I think one of them said, "Carmel tastes good". Some trip director totally gives away the entire plot right at the beginning, and when he said something about a handsome man, all of the girls made very forced "oooh" sounds. Come on. It just doesn't sound right on a cartoon. And like fourth grade boys even care about pussy at that point? No. They don't.
The class enters the opera room, and Arnold promptly falls asleep and dreams -- you guessed it -- that he is the lead in the play. Because clearly it would be a disgrace to just show a normal classical presentation in a cartoon. Oh wait, Bugs did it tons of times without sucking, but already Hey Arnold! is falling behind. So in the dream, Gerald (the single black kid necessary for a new york setting) starts singing figaro. Then he leaves. Wow, you're in the edge of your seat already. Then Harold (the fat kid, because fat people are a race of their own and therefore must be included in every cartoon, sitcom, etc.) is dressed as a clown and sings "I'm a fat ugly clown-o". Now at this point, you realize the time put into the lyrical content of the episode. He too, leaves abruptly, leaving Arnold very confused and alone. From there, he is launched into a poor representation of Carmella featuring the cast of Hey Arnold! playing roles of other people. The words are horribly written, like "I'm Arnold and my head is shaped like a football". Wait wait wait. The fact that the main character's head is shaped like a football, and that they constantly acknowledge it during each episode should tell you that something is not right with the way that the creator's mind works. Arnold falls in love with some ugly girl, the animation is horrible, and the scene ends.
SHIFT TO: HELGA
Yes, that's right. There's a character named Helga. And she has a sister named Olga. Tell me that the show's creator wasn't waiting this whole time to make this episode. Man, what a wasted life. So Helga, if you know anything about the show, has a crush on Arnold, while she makes fun of him constantly. Wow, like something like that hasn't been done before. She falls asleep at scene two, being a viking and killing some ugly girl. Her name is "Carmhelga". LAME. Then for some reason she becomes nice and Arnold falls in love with her. BORING. The words added to the original music get cheesier and cheesier, until finally they reach a cheesey climax and gush cheese all over your face. Some dork comes along and has a bullfight and shit sprays on stuff, and then a bunch of people eat tacos and light a menorah. THE END.
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