Chapter 3
I woke up late the next morning with a start. It was the second time I’d woken up that morning. Much earlier I had woken up and finally convinced Maria to make love to me. It had been satisfying, but lacked something I couldn’t put my finger on.
This time when I woke I was alone again. The familiar feeling a dread rushed over me. It gave me this feeling that my visit would only be worse for our relationship and not better.
I quickly took a shower and got dressed, then went in search of Maria. I found her in the kitchen fixing breakfast. “Morning” I said coming up behind her and placing a kiss on the back of her neck. I felt her body tense in my arms.
“Morning” she said rigidly. I took a couple steps back and looked at her confused.
“Do you need any help?” I finally asked.
“No, it’s almost ready. Just have a seat and I’ll fix you a plate” she answered not even looking up at me.
“Maria, I don’t need a maid” I told her. “I need my wife back.” I added softly.
She finally looked at me. I couldn’t help but notice how weary she looked. “It’s okay Taylor, really. Just go have a seat” she almost pleaded with me.
Quietly I turned around and took a seat at the kitchen table. I didn’t understand her lately. With my busy career, breakfast was usually the only meal we got to sit down together, alone, and enjoy. I always helped her make it. I didn’t understand why everything had to change. Even the little things that I never had appreciated before were changing, and I desperately wanted them to go back to normal.
I silently watched her as she fixed a plate of food and brought it to the table setting in front of me. She then took a seat across the table from me.
“Aren’t you going to eat anything?” I asked.
“I already ate” she told me as if it was nothing.
“But we always eat breakfast together” I said. I knew it sounded whiny, but at that point I didn’t care.
“I’m sorry, but I made too much food when I fixed breakfast for my parents, so I ate the rest. I didn’t wake you up because I knew you had a long flight last night and were tired.
It was a logical explanation, she always had one. But at this point it wasn’t comforting me at all.
Wordlessly I started eating my breakfast. I wanted to scream I was so confused. A few bites into my meal I stopped, and set my fork down. “We need to talk don’t we?” I asked.
Maria sighed and rubbed her temples. “What do you want me to say?” she asked.
“What are we doing? Why does it have to be like this? Why can’t we just have a normal marriage? That’s all I’m asking for” I pleaded.
“Taylor, nothing is ever going to be normal with your career” she started.
“Well you could at least try” I interrupted.
“Don’t you dare put this all on me” she raised her voice. “Don’t think this isn’t hard on me. Do you have any idea what it’s like to be torn between your parents and your husband?”
“No I don’t, because when I stood up and read you my vows, I meant every word of them. You mean more to me than anything else in the world, and I would never put anyone before you” I said sincerely.
“Oh, so you won’t put anyone before me, but you have no trouble putting your career before me” she spat.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean. I can’t just quit my job because you and I had an argument” I was finally getting angry. I couldn’t see how she failed to understand where I was coming from.
“And I can’t just leave my parents when they need me the most just you say you ‘need’ me” she said.
“But I do need you, don’t you need me too?” I asked.
She didn’t answer at first. It was like she was taking time to form her words correctly. I noticed tears springing to her eyes. My stomach knotted up, and I was scared to hear her response.
“I don’t need your life Taylor. I don’t need to be the wife of some hot shot rock star. I don’t need to be carted around the country so you can live out your dream. I need to be grounded. I need to be where I belong, and I belong on a ranch in Southern California with the people I love the most” she finally said.
My head spun out of control. I could barely grasp her words. “What are you saying?” I whispered.
“I’m sorry Taylor; I can’t go on pretending this is right. I care about you, but I can’t be with you anymore. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I think things would just be better if we separated.”
