Senile Stories
THE ADS ABOVE ARE NOT MINE. FUCK THEM
This is a website for stories of myself.
Hey I'm a stupid 15 year old. I'm kind of in the punk scene. i can't make any friends cause im a boring shit. Ive been going to shows for about a year now. I live with my aunt and my grandparents. I am a rich fuck. I hate myself. I am such a fuckin poser. I have a job as a camp counselor. My aunt is a huge bitch. I am really scared of her. She don't let me go out at all and I have to sneak out of the house all the time. Sometimes she finds me and drags me back home in her Cadillac. I am deathly afraid of this. She called the cops on me one time when i wouldn't go home. That was bad. I missed most of the show but later i escaped from the house and got to see GBH. That was the only band i saw that day. I moshed until i felt like throwing up. but there was nothing to throw up. SATURDAY 8/2/03 - i am making this site. im not gonna bother how to figure out how to put up links and pictures. i hate computers but im such a fuckin hypocrite since im using one. im gonna only tell stories. oh shit i dont even know how to space the lines. SUNDAY 8/3/03 - I am being forced to take SAT prep courses. i do nothing there. My aunt wasted $800 on it. I went to get my bike back from where i chained it. i went on the wrong fuckin bus and it took me a long time to get there. then it started to rain really hard when i was off the bus. i was surprised that my bike was still there. as i was riding it i saw lightning and then there was a thunderstorm. all the time i rode it i was wondering if i would get hit by lightning cause the bike was metal and so was my belt. i was on the sidewalk riding next to a huge puddle and a car went by and splashed me but i was all wet anyway. i made it back to my house before bitch aunt did. shes actually letting me go to the global threat show on the 7th if my friends go with me. i have to ask her to go to the axis cause she knows where it is. if i went without telling her she would find me and drag me out. if she dont know the place where the shows at, i just run out of the house. (sometimes i have to jump the fence) thats it for todays story. FRIDAY 8/8/03 - I went to the AGT show yesterday. I think i missed the forgotten cause i got there late. we had to wait for one of my friends that claims she showed up but we didnt see her. so when we got in F minus was playing. not too many people. almost no moshing. it was quite boring even though 2 of my friends were with me. i usually go alone. i noticed that i keep seeing the same people at shows and im starting to remember what they look like. im a blind fuck that cant see without glasses. the show ended early. i havent had a good time at a show since last month. for me, punk aint so fun anymore......
SUNDAY 8/10/03 - Things seemed to be better in the past. Now its all shit. Last year, when i started going to shows there was a sense of unity but now the shows feel so dead. or maybe its just shitty old boring me. I dont fuckin know. i noticed that i have a really hard time communicating with people. i cant think of a damn thing to say. this is why i have almost no friends. WEDNESDAY 8/13/03 - Its my last week of work. Im glad cause alot of the little kids at the camp are a burden. They run off when we go places or get left behind and then the counselors (me) have to go get them. They like to beat me up cause I cant hit them back. They call me ugly and they call me grandpa or the mean old lady man but i dont mind that. Thats pretty funny though. little kids screaming "mean old ladyman!!" "Half man and half lady" Hahaha.
THURSDAY 8/14/03 - I have no more faith in the punk scene or myself. I am considering hanging up my boots but I wouldnt know what to do after that. I have done nothing for the scene. I have been nothing. and now I feel that its dead but maybe im the only one that feels this way. I have been the stupid little rich kid with stupid little problems. Running away from my aunt to go to shows. Complaining about things and being a total piece of shit that never has the guts to do anything. I am not true and I have no place in the scene. I wanted to be a punk for so long but I cant ever because things always get in my way. I quit now and I dont care anymore. i might still be seen looking like a punk but i will never be true. with rich aunt in a cadillac. with the cops on my aunts side in case i do anything my aunt doesnt like (running away). with never having to work for anything. getting to live like a rich person and trying to hide it. maybe i should start appreciating all the things that have been done for me but im a stupid fuck so i cant. i have tried to get away from my life for so long but maybe i should just face it. i cant revolt anymore cause i know that i always lose in the end. im almost 16 now and i cant do anything unless approved by my aunt. i do nothing. i used to think punk was this great way of life. it used to be so promising for me when i was a bored little 14 or 15 year old with everything to lose. there was nothing else that i wanted to be. now that i have thrown away the conformist life i can never go back. but now there is no life for me now that nothing has worked out the way i wanted. there is still nothing out there for me. i dont belong anywhere. go skinhead? like iggy? no. i dont wanna be skinhead cause im too short, cant fight, cant drink, cant ever look like a skinhead. if i was physically capable to be a skinhead, i would. i do belive that i need to be phsically capable because if i were a skinhead in my body, id be an embarassment to myself. i cant drink alot since im little. i cant fight at all either. im so pathetic. i have no future. i know that when im older, ill probly end up as something that i dont want to be, (living off my aunt?) or maybe ill end up as a miserable homeless person shitting on myself. as far as i know theres nothing out there for me because i have made it this way. i have done this to myself and i am the only one to blame if im sick of myself and everything else. i have fucked up my own life and now im so fucked over that i cant do anything more. THURSDAY 8/21/03 - Yesterday I went to the sex pistols show at the pavilion. I didnt like the place cause it had seats. Cant mosh or move around. And i wasted 40 bucks on tickets. i also dragged 2 of my friends/band along. The first band, revernd hortonheat was ok but not my type of music. The dropkick murphys played next. i couldnt figure out why so many people like them cause i thought they were kinda boring. Ive heard there stuff on the radio a long time ago and thought it was alrite but never really got into them. i dont trust them since they seem to be mainstream. im also dissapointed in the unseen for playing warped tour. Shit the unseen were one of my first favorite bands and now this happens. oh well. I probly should have never went to this corporate concert but i wanted to see the sex pistols cause i thought that if i didnt i might never get the chance again. well the music was great but johnny rotten seems to be an asshole that thinks hes real cool and up with the times. i saw someone get on the stage and johnny made some comment like "get off my stage. if u wanna be on stage go through what we did to get ours". well he sure is not with the kids anymore. i know those bands just do it for the money but still i wanted to see the pistols. FRIDAY 8/22/03 - Went to band practice. We didnt do much and the bass player wasnt there. I think it sucks cause we arnt into the same kinds of music. i wanna be in an Oi! band. I dont really have the ability to play music that im not really into. We also did another shitty thing. There was a guy that was waiting to meet us at a train station but amara decided not to go cause she didnt plan it. So we left him to wait for an hour. I feel like shit for doing this cause i hate doing this kinda thing to people. it was my fault anyway cause i told him to be there and amara didnt know about it. still it was wrong to leave him there.
Email: stupiduglymidget@aol.com
