Core Values of PCHS

Respect Diversity (so long as what you're respecting is white, honors, Jewish, gay and pseudo-liberal)
Strive for Academic Excellence (outcompete all other students for your position at Harvard)
Be Yourself (Wear dog collars to stand out)
Respect Others (You can't use the terms 'gay' and 'black' here)
Take Responsibility (We're going to pretend you're not sheltered in the illusion of PC-Ville)

Description: you may not identify PCHS as a school, as that label makes too many assumptions about the type of edifice PCHS is. We pride ourselves on being a comprehensive high school, and respect all walks of mankind.

Classes: PCHS offers premier classes such as AP Gym, AP Liberal Morals (i.e. History), AP Social Climbing, AP Intellectual Elitists, AP Lunch and AP Statistics. Anyone who has a mother who isn't pushy enough to get him/her into AP classes will be thrown into the basement and disregarded. PCHS spends very little money on art and music funding because nobody at the school is creative.

Schedule: PCHS operates from 6 AM to 9 PM. A typical class is set up as follows: a teacher spends the first 10 minutes figuring out how to take attendance on her new laptop, the next 30 minutes discussing the formatting of Friday's test, and the last 85 minutes arguing with a student about grades.

Extracurriculars: PCHS offers many extracurriculars for students to put on their college applications. Clubs include: "Help People," "CSPHCHSA," "Help People II," and "African-American-Homosexual-Mexican-American-Transgender Awareness group." PCHS is proud because it scored 52nd in the Division III State football finals last year. The team spiritists of sports are often confounded with the people who wear spikes for attention. The newspaper, "PC High Herald," has won the Prestigious Scholastic Newspaper Award for the past 50 years because the Herald's adviser is also the head of the PSNA. PCHS boasts a "communist" attitude in its publications: one and only one opinion can be expressed in student press.

The building: PCHS, one of the two high schools in PC-Ville, was designed by an ivy-league graduate with no artistic or practical skills. With scores of asbestos, carbon monoxide and cold germs from AP students who can't bear to miss one day of school, PCHS resembles a Russian socialist factory. The social center of the school is Main Stream, a large color-coded corridor. Other corridors are much smaller and force students to walk by hated acquaintances as they peep "Hi, how are you?"

Meet the PC High Parents
See the PC High Herald Web Site
See a More Detailed Course Catalogue
Back to PCHS for another day