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SPEEDER An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and down the halls in her wheelchair making sounds like she's driving a car. As she's going down the hall an old man jumps out of a room and says, 'Excuse me, ma'am, but you were speeding. Can I see your driver's license?' She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a candy wrapper and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her a warning and sends her on her way. Up and down the halls she goes again. Then the same old man jumps out of a room and says, 'Excuse me, ma'am, but I saw you cross over the center line back there. Can I see your registration please?' She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a store receipt and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her another warning and sends her on her way. She zooms off again, up and down the halls, weaving all over. As she comes to the old man's room again he jumps out. He's stark naked and has an erection. The old lady in the wheelchair looks up and says, 'oh no, not the breathalyzer again.' Still in the Rest Home A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say, "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup." Rocking Chair, Sofa or Room Two elderly residents, one male and one female, were sitting alone in the lobby of their nursing home one evening. The old man looked over and said to the old lady, "I know just what you're wanting, and for $5 I'll have sex with you right over there in that rocking chair." The old lady looked surprised but didn't say a word. The old man continued, "For $10 I'll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for $20 I'll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you've ever had in your life." The old lady still says nothing but after a couple minutes, starts digging down in her purse. She pulls out a wrinkled $20 bill and holds it up. "So you want the nice romantic evening in my room," says the old man. "Get serious," she replies. "I want four times in the rocking chair!"
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SPEEDER

Still in the Rest Home

Rocking Chair, Sofa or Room