[A female chinchilla and a male red fox are sitting on a sofa in what is probably a lounge. The chinchilla is wearing an expensive looking green suit whereas the fox is wearing a simple t-shirt and trousers outfit. He is also wearing glasses, a DeMontfort ballcap, and a headset. The chinchilla has leather attache case and is shuffling some papers which don't appear to have anything on them. After a few seconds the chinchilla perks up and starts speaking.]

chin: Hi, my name is Loree Weston.

fox: And I'm Chris Morrison.

Loree: Welcome to the premier of "We're Richter, Too". The show dedicated to showing you the soft underbelly of DeMontfort University's nexus of chaos.

Chris: By which we mean the floor under Richter-3.

Loree: Up until now, we've been faceless, nameless, anonymous students, always glossed over by those nuts above us. But thanks to modern information technology and a creative fanfic author we can share our own stories and try to give you a clearer picture of life at DeMontfort.

Chris: Yeah, we're just as entertaining and diverse as them. We deserve just as much exposure as they do.

Loree: Thats right. Lets go out and meet the wonderful and unsung people of Richter-2.

[The two get up and walk out the door to the hallway. The camera follows them. They walk past a few doors and stop at 204. Chris knocks on the door and a large male coyote steps out carrying a clipboard]

Loree: Meet Darryl. He's our RA and far superior to the violent little shrew upstairs.

Chris: Yeah, he's only beaten me up once in two years and I quickly recovered, with minimal permanent damage, too.

Darryl: I said I was sorry. I thought that you knew that she was my little sister.

Chris: Don't worry. I tried again afterwards and she shot me down. Again.

Loree: Isn't Darryl a sweety? I think he's cute.

Darryl: The only reason I'm going along with this is because you said it would get our funding increased. We really need to repair the ceilings. Almost all the plaster has come off.

Loree: Thank you so much, but we have to move on. See you later, Darryl.

[Darryl nods and shuts his door. The two walk down the hall the other way. As they pass the laundry, a dalmatian in a black vest can be seen standing on a ladder, drilling a hole in the ceiling. All sorts of chemical reagents can be seen around him.]

Chris: Don't mind Ryan. He's just here to help fix the ceiling. Well, that and blow up the third floor's laundry. Just in case this show doesn't take off.

[They continue past the elevater and stop at another door, 209.]

Chris: Do we have to introduce her? You know we hate each other.

Loree: Yes.

Chris: Why?

Loree: Because it will be very entertaining.

[Loree knocks on the door. A series of crashes and muttered curses are heard from inside. After a moment a female squirrel pokes her head out the door. Her brown hair is very messed up and she is wearing goggles on her forehead. She looks quite irate.]

squir: What do you want?

Loree: Susan, why don't you come out and tell the world about yourself?

Susan: Now?! With that son of a &%*$ here?

Chris: The proper term is vixen!

Loree: Yes. We could only get the equipment for today. We have to return it in a few hours.

Susan: Fine, fine.

[She steps out the door and shuts it behind her. She is wearing a well-stained lab coat]

Susan: My name is Susan Loral and I'm a pre-med student here at the great DeMontfort University. Is that enough?

Loree: No. Why don't you introduce us to your roommate?

Susan: [Opens the door and leans in] Elsa, come out here! Loree is pretending to be a real journalist again!

[Chris sniffs the air and wrinkles his nose]

Chris: What were you doing in there? Your room smells like a peculiar mixture of kerosene and formaldehyde. Don't you remember what Darryl said about doing labs here? This place is a two and half story catastrophe generator! Doing labs in your room is begging for death, you imbecile!

Susan: [now even more irate] Bite me, Dogface!

Chris: [snarling] Don't tempt me, Nutmuncher.

Susan: Nutmuncher!?! I'm gonna tear you apart and use your remains for my lab practical, you miserable excuse for a carnivore! [she leaps at Chris]

Chris: Prepare to die, you buck-toothed tree rat!

[Susan lands on Chris and they fall to the ground, off camera. Sounds of fighting continue. Occasional bits of fluff fly up. As they fight, a short grey cat steps out of the room]

Loree: See? We can be just as violent as Richter-3.

Elsa: [with a light German accent] Vhats going on here?

Susan: [off camera] Leggo my tail, pervert!

Loree: Chris and Susan are fighting again.

Chris: [off camera] AAAAAAAAAHH!!! SHE BIT ME! SHE BIT ME! GETTER OFF!

Elsa: No, I meant about the camera.

Loree: Well, we're trying to start up our own series, to try to show things here in Richter Hall from another, heretofore unknown, perspective. We thought introducing you would show that we too have sane, dull people from other countries.

[The commotion off camera stops and Chris stands back up into the frame. He is slightly worse for wear and has lost his headset]

Chris: Haha! I once again assert my place of being higher on the food chain than all of you.

Elsa: And I'm not the only one, either!

Susan: [off camera] I was spitting out your fur. I'm not done with you yet!

Chris: Uh oh. [falls back down. fight resumes.]

Loree: Shes right folks! Meet our other resident immigrant, Vijay!

[Loree reaches off camera and pulls in a very small elephant]

Vijay: [With thick Indian accent] What are you doing! Put me down! I am not some prop you can just pick up and ---

[Loree shoves Vijay back off camera]

Loree: Isn't he great? Well thats all we have time for today.

[Susan gets up. She has lost her goggles, her fur is even more messed up than it was before, and her lab coat has been torn up. She wordlessly turns around, walks into her room, and slams the door.]

Loree: We hope that you'll tune in again for our next exciting episode of "We're Richter, Too!" Remember, this program is a proud production of the DeMontfort Public Broadcasting and is made possible only by skimpy University funding and the support of -

[Chris raises his hand into the frame and points it at the camera]

Chris: -viewers like you.