CD review by Errant
Attempt #1

Jen: So we're at the same Walmart that had us stalked by a sales associate last night, and now we're using their stereo system to review Fat Brians, Molly and I.

Molly: Yes.

Jen: They're screaming.

Molly: (Jen tries to turn it up) No, no, no, no, don't do that.

Molly: Its really hard to review this when you keep changing the speakers.

Jen: OH, This is the best one here.

Jen: They're doing a lot of screaming.

Molly: And just hitting their instruments, not really playing them.

Jen: The other patrons don't seem to be enjoying this, they're looking at us.

Molly: Their just here to buy funnels and stuff.

Jen: They don't want to hear about Billy.

Molly: This is a family store.

Jen: Isn't there a song about family on this CD?

Molly: No.

Jen: Childhood?

Molly: (struggle over volume) I don't think you should do that.

Song: Billy wants to get laid, Billy must get fucked...

Molly: We're playing with the speakers now.

Jen: You just turned it off--

Molly: No, I turned these ones on; it's "The Fresh Prince Song"...

Jen: Oh the song ended.

Molly: Here comes an employee, we must get out ... Okay that'll have to do for now.

Attempt #2

Molly: Okay, we're recording again. This time we're in the audio section.

(volume is cranked up by Jen)

Song: Cuffing Our Pants, Huffing Our Paint

Molly: I don't think you should do that (struggling with Jen over volume).

Molly: I could cuff my pants.

Jen: They're cuffed already.

Molly: Oh, I failed to realize that.

Molly: Billy's next.

Molly: No! I don't think you should turn that up. We're going to get thrown out of here.

Jen: Its okay, we're just trying out their merchandise.

NOISE

Molly: I can't look, I don't think you should turn that up.

Molly: I think it should go down, not up.

Jen: "Billy wants to get laid" -- Is that what he's saying?

Molly: And he "must get fucked." Molly: We're right below a security camera.

Molly: They can't hear us though.

Molly: Electronics just got a call, did you hear that?

Jen: No.

Molly: This is Childhood, "The Fresh Prince song."

Jen: Oh

Molly: I like this one

Jen: The instrumental part doesn't really go along with the vocal part.

Molly: The vocals are too soft.

Jen: I used to watch this show a lot.

Molly: Me too.

Jen: That Will Smith, before he became a big movie star... one sexy mofo.

Molly: That Will Smith...

Jen: What are we doing again? An inaudible review for an inaudible piece of noise? ....SCABIES!!

Molly: That's my favorite one, its up next.

Jen: Mine too.

Molly: NO, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. (struggle over volume) That's way too loud.

Jen: Oh I like this song because the guitar and the whispering, and it sounds like The Twilight Zone.

Molly: Its the best song on the CD.

Jen: Sounds like he's in a bar, and he's drunk, but some bands playing behind him.

Molly: Yea, lounge music.

Molly: Will you turn it down? (volume goes up) Fuck you.

Jen: Fuck you! This song needs to be played loud!

Molly: Stop it!

(Struggle)

Molly: Don't!

Molly: (To voice recorder) She's trying to turn it up too loud.

(fight)

(tape stopped)

Molly: (to Scott) You need to take a picture of this.

Molly: This reminds me of Gary with the opera singing.

Molly: This is A.T.F. Guy

Jen: Tits face guy?

Molly: It sounds like dis.

Jen: Some of the words are so inaudible that we can't figure out what the song is about.

Molly: I don't think they're about aything though.

Jen: Is that thing picking us up? (points to voice recorder)

Molly: Why isn't Scott taking our picture? Make him.

Jen: What's the difference between being gay and being a fag?

(Molly explains how to use camera, then picture is taken.)

Molly: A fag is wicked flamboyant, really really gay

Jen: I thought it was a cigarette! That's because Athol and England are like this (crosses fingers), like brothas'.

Molly: I think there is an Athol in England.

Jen: Yea, probably.

Molly: Train-Crossing.

Jen: Like Train-spotting?

Molly: Yea, but different.

Jen: Wait... do they do drugs?

Molly: No, they don't.

Jen: (screams) TRAIN ... CROSSING!!

Jen: Thirteen associates just rounded the corner and they're ready to take us down, go Molly go!

Molly: No! Really?

Molly: That's not funny, its scary.

(volume goes up)

Jen: (to the voice recorder) Molly's finger is right next to the stop button every five seconds because I keep turning it up and she doesn't like it.

Molly: Its not family music for a family place!

Jen: Its about trains.

Molly: I don't think that lady (points) would like it.

Jen: This is the special song? Who's making the lamb noises? The kid with the light saber!?

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from Errant.Zine
I had no idea what to expect from Fat Brians… they came next. I recall about 2 years ago, seeing a band called Ass Faggots play. They were great. Fat Brians reminded me of Ass Faggots: the chaos, the hilarity, the references to gay sex, and the inaudible noise. Fat Brians were also damn good. Anyone who wanted free CD’s were greeted with a pile of FREE America Online discs. The guitarist (his name escapes me) mocked the emo-core/hardcore scene that his previous band, Edgar, fit in. OH yea they got down to the underwear. Even the fat bassist. I bet he got laid that night. [Molly Note: Jordan is his name-o!]
Bands like Fat Brians and A.S.S. symbolize a bunch of ruthless assholes pissing on the ashes of a dying scene around here
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from Localband
Fat Brians: This was a joke band but everyone seemed to love them. They got allot of crowd reaction.
I thought it was funny when Fat Brian was playing the drums and in one hand he was holding a cigarette and smoking, in the other hand he had a drumstick and was just beating on the drums.

What Fans said:
Question: "What did you think of the band Fat Brians?"
Fan Responses:

"F*cking Funny."

"Funny @$$ shit."

"They should play more P-hall shows."

"I didn't like them that much."

Band Rating:
Crowd Reaction: 8
Music: 2 (I loved it, but their was not that much talent their and I want to be fair to the other bands)
Overall: 20 out of 30