10am
Just arrived at work. Hoping brain might function soon. Gah.
Woke up this morning to find Luke sneaking around our apartment, looking for all the world like he hadn't been screaming my praises with his legs in the air last night. Huh. Like he can get away with pretending to be straight, anymore. Straight, my arse. Don't know too many straight guys who know their prostate as well as Lukey boy does. Or who have been living with their boyfriends for months now, come to think of it.
Hmm. Gina calling. Doesn't she know it's a Monday? Christ, it's only 10am. Cannot possibly be expected to be functional at this time.
10.35am
Just got back from a 'meeting' with Gina. Humph. Humph. Got told off for riding Luke too hard over the weekend. Right, so she didn't phrase it like that, but said she had to assign him to duties involving standing up. Heh. I'm responsible for that. Nyhahaha.
11am
Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. Yawn. I got called in just to do this? Pur-leaase. Like I don't have better things to do. Like Luke. Ahhh...Luke...
11.15am
*Grumble*. Just got called into Gina's office AGAIN to get cigarette smoke blown in my face and told off for not doing my work fast enough. Huh. I'd like to see her try writing up reports while being watching by one's own erection. Not as easy as it looks.
12pm
Bored. Booooored. Borrrrred. Luke's out on duty and the only fun I've had is playing with the minds of the young recruits hovering around my desk. I mean, amusing, yes, but there's a limit to how many times I can ask them to bend over the back filing cabinet before they're going to panic and tell Gina.
2pm
Right. Must stop thinking about Luke. Have had two crims brought in to process so far this afternoon and I've already typed them in slightly wrong. Just read back on one I typed...
Name: John Ashton
Address: 69 Lube Ave.
Offense: Resisting sex...long, hard, delicious sex.
Oops. Better check back on other entries before anyone else notices. Think my subconscious might be elsewhere. Couldn't imagine why...
4pm
ARGHH!!! Knew he'd come to my desk sooner or later. KNEW it. Even though we've been living together as a couple, he still automatically reverts back to his old hetero ways at the station. Gina's the only one astute enough to see through his behaviour.
So, just now I was slouched at the desk, bored out of my brain, trying to amuse myself by thinking of ten new positions to try out on Luke in the kitchen, when - speak of the devil - in came the boy himself. Will recite the conversation for convenience:
Him: "Sarge. (note: LOVE it when he calls me 'sarge'. *DROOOL*) I've nicked blahblahblah from blahblah for committing blahblahblah."
Ok, so maybe I don't pay much attention to the details. Like I care. It's not like I type them in correctly, anyway.
Me: "Right. (typed random words into computer, got underling (aka, new PC under my rulership) to put crim in cell) So...Luke, how have you been?"
Note to self: might have developed slight megalomaniac tendencies from powertrip of being sergeant too long. Should stop intimidating my minio- I mean, those of a lesser rank than me.
Him: (avoiding but blushing, hah!) "Fine. Why?"
WHY??! WHY?!! Because we have SEX is why!
Me: "Just asking. (looked slightly pissy at being confronted with hetero-Luke) What time will you be home tonight?"
Him: "What?! (hisses like is EMBARRASSED of me!) Let's not talk about it here!"
...and he runs off!
ARGH!!! WHY?! WHY?!! Every day he does this! Is very frustrating! ARGH!
...though do want to bend him over the desk and shag him senseless, whenever he does it. Is quite a normal response.
Right. What was I doing? Oh. Paperwork. Yay.
7pm
At long last. Shift's ended and I'm about to leave for home. Am expecting to find Luke there, covered in whipped cream and ready to call me 'Sarge' while begging for my forgiveness. Hmm... should probably not think that in the locker-room. Just scared an underling away by getting an erection. Damn my nether-regions.
7.30pm
Home. Home, sweet home. Am noticing, though, a complete lack of whipped-cream-covered Luke Ashton lying desperately on the floor. Quite rude, that, after my mind had promised it to me and all...
10pm
Yuuuuuuum. Spoke too soon. Whipped-cream-covered Luke Ashton came home eventually. Ok, so he wasn't covered in cream until AFTER he walked through the door. Hardly matters. Am now a sated Sergeant. Also, am proud to note...
Position no.17, Kitchen: Head in sink, arse in air.
4/10 comfort
10/10 climax
Right, off to sleep, then.
**********
7am
Gahh...just got kicked awake by Luke, bloodyanalarsewankerbastard.
7.15am
Huh. Have just been told off by Luke 'I'm-A-Morning-Person' Ashton. ExCUSE me for being grumpy at ungodly hours of the day. It's not the slightest bit natural to have my eyes open now.
8am
Right. Just had sex in the shower with Luke. Will forgive him for waking me up. Hmm. What time was I meant to be at work? Argh. Better call it 9am and pretend to have been busy saving citizens on the way in, if questioned.
9.15am
Was questioned, dammit. Gina called me into her office and accused me of not being here at 7am. *7am*! Who turns up to work then?! I stared at the wall and did my best "I've actually been here since 6am, I'm underpaid and sexually frustrated, I can't help it if you haven't seen me" expression. Failed miserably. Shame. Why does she never fall for that?
10am
Just had the morning meeting which gave news that will ruin my plans of skulking around the shower room and making fellow officers uncomfortable. Apparently there's been a series of robberies of alcohol from various clubs and stores around the area. Whoopdido. Will send underlings to deal with it. Or Luke. Mmmm... Luke as my sex-slave underling. Mmm.
10.15am
Cannot believe Gina. How does she know?!! Can't I get an erection behind the desk ONCE without her noticing and calling me into her office for a lecture on appropriate behaviour at the station? Humph.
10.20am
Maybe she's stalking me?
10.25am
Might test out theory later and give myself an erection and time how long it takes her to come in here and notice.
10.30am
Should do work. Just sent PC's off to find the missing alcohol. Yawn. Completely boring standing behind the desk. Why do I do this again? Oh, yes. Get to handcuff men in uniform. Or was that criminals I do that to? Can't remember. First option sounds more likely and far more enjoyable. Right.
11am
Have amused self by looking up gay porn on the main desk's computer. Hehehe. Yum. Must try out a move I found involving a clothesline. Interesting... Hm. Keep being distracted by silly younger officers wanting to process crims. Humph. Am way to busy to be bothered with such tripe.
1pm
Finally, young PC's have come back and much to my annoyance have not already solved the Mystery of the Disappearing Booze. Do I have to do *everything* around here?!
1.15pm
Just sent Luke off to find said booze. Ok, did it just so I could stare at his arse as he swaggered out the doors. And yes, he did swagger. Yum.
3pm
Luke's come back and told me he can't find the booze either. Why is this? Do they not train people at police academy? Really. Couldn't find their pert little bottoms with the help of my hands, some of them.
5pm
Humph. Just got back from trying to find booze on my own. Failed. Now look like complete git. Have taken to towering with intimidation over all PC's within glare-distance. Nyhahaha. Sent four running for cover. That'll teach them.
6pm
Decided it was time to end my shift and have just arrived home. Obviously cannot be yelled at for this as was meant to be at work at 7am, therefore shift ended at 5.30pm. That seems long enough to be at work, surely.
7pm
Luke just arrived home and gave me an exasperated look for no reason at all. I mean, WHAT?! Can't I lie around in my underwear in my own apartment, amongst a pile of empty takeaway boxes and dirty clothes? ExCUSE me for not being anally retentive about having our apartment constantly looking like a display for interior decorating.
Hmmm... Luke's anal... Mmmmm.
8.30pm
Am now smugly lying in the wet patch (HIS, for the record) after pounding my dear anally retentive boy into the couch. That was, out of interest, after trying out...
Position no.11, Living Room: Head under coffee table, arse in air.
Comfort: 8/10 (was 9/10 but Luke did hit his head while trying to sit up)
Climax: 9/10 (lose one point for being distracted by Luke hitting his head)
11pm
Just have a lovely second dinner of Chinese takeaway while snuggled on the couch with Luke. Was all very romantic. Was so romantic did not even take offence when he told me he loved me even though I was a slob. *SIGH*. Am not a slob, am just not anal.
Hmmm... anal... Mmmm...
12.15am
Right. Must get to sleep. Very difficult while have insatiable love monkey slowly working his way up my thigh with his tongue.
12.17am
Just got told off for writing in my diary while being serviced. Fair point. Goodnight.
**********
7am
Arghargharghargh, bloodylittlechirpyanaltwirp.
7.15am
Right. Am awake now. Just had my clothes thrown at me by Luke. Doesn't look like shower sex is going to happen then. Humph.
8am
I'm at work! Already! Walked in smugly just then and surprised a group of PC's. Heh. Though am slightly put off by their comment that they didn't expect to see me here until 10am.
8.05am
Maybe my shift starts at 10am? Maybe I've been turning up *early*.
8.10am
Just checked. No, I start at 7am. In that case I must remember to be snidey and superior to those PC's, the nerve of them.
9.30am
Just had the morning meeting. Apparently Gina's annoyed because we didn't find the missing booze, and now there's even more missing. Fascinating. Really, I'm so glad Luke dragged me out of bed for this. Yawn.
10am
Back at the desk again. Sent previously-rude PC's off to find the booze. Serves them right. Told them not to come back until they find it. That'll give me more time to look up the internet for more moves to use on Luke. Ahh...I should be promoted. Obviously I have highly evolved time-management skills.
11am
Hehe. Just processed a man named Johnny Rubber for stealing condoms. *chortle*
11.15am
ARGHARGHARGHARGHARGGGGGH!!!
Luke just waltzed in, told me he's going to look for the booze (He can't do that! That's MY job to hand out assignments, the gall of him!) and trots out of the station, bold as brass.
AM FURIOUS! Was just outranked by the boy who was on all fours on my living room floor last night, ARGH! ARGH! Was so shocked did not even call him on it and tell him he wasn't allowed to find the booze, and now all my previously-humble underlings are laughing at me behind my back. Bastards. Is way too early in the morning to deal with this.
11.30am
Have now glared at said underlings and put them all on report.
11.45am
Pissystalkinglungdestroyingqueen. Just got smoke blown in my face and told off by Gina for putting PC's on report for no official reason. HATE being outranked. Tis thoroughly demeaning.
12pm
Just wait until I'm superintendent. Nyhahahaa. Will have all young lithe underlings at my disposal. Will put them all on report constantly. Hehehe.
12.15pm
Bloody Gina. She MUST be stalking me. Just got told off for 'eyeballing' my men. Eyeballing. Am SURE that's not a reportable offence.
2pm
Luke's back! I was standing at the desk looking up, coincidentally, objects that can double as buttplugs, when Luke strode through the door looking incredibly smug. AND to top off a good afternoon, he actually smiled at me and stopped to talk, even though various underlings were hovering around the desk making nuisances of themselves. Love him. Love him and forgive him for previous misdemeanor.
Conversation went as follows:
Me: (doing impressive 'disappointed with superiority' look down at him) "So, you're back, are you?"
Luke: (grinning insufferably. Though was kind of cute.) "Yeah, Sarge. Found some booze."
Turns out he found three boxes full of Bacardi Breezers. Didn't bother asking where. Hardly seemed relevant. Instead asked Luke when he was due home tonight, and...
Luke: (winks and leans in) "I'll be home at seven. Thought you might want to punish me for being insolent before."
PANT! PANT!!! Was all I could do to stop from hurdling the desk and dragging him to the floor and ripping his clothes off!
The cheeky little imp! Cannot believe he set up before just so I will have to punish him! Today has picked up immensely!
2.35pm
Right. The list of possibilities so far...
1) spank him
2) gentle whipping at local sex club
3) Rough sex at a clothesline
4) spank him then go to local sex club
5) spank him then go to local sex club then have rough sex (minus clothesline)
Right. See a theme developing there.
3pm
Cannot believe I still have to stay at work. I've been here since 7am! Ok, it was actually 8am, but that's two hours earlier than usual! Cannot concentrate due to foul depraved thoughts about plans for tonight. Keep getting inopportune erections and having to stand closer into desk. Have already nearly ground myself against two PC's standing nearby. Very concerning.
5pm
Just got back from showing Gina the box of Bacardi Breezers. Am now back in her good books and to celebrate we drank a couple of bottles on the premise that we, being respectable officers of the law, must test to see it is actually alcohol and not just falsely pretending to be our Evidence. Mmmm...Bacardi Breezers. Gina is the only one at the station who knows my obsession with them. Obviously is not a very manly drink and as such cannot let incriminating knowledge of fruity weak alcohol drinks brought into light. Am gay enough as it is.
6pm
Am slightly worried I'm a little tipsy after two bottles. Can't really tell as associated evidence is as follows:
Alcohol makes me randy.
Am randy when sober, too.
Cannot work out how to evaluate evidence any further. Might go home instead.
7pm
Just got home to find Luke already here, having cleaned the apartment to disturbing degrees. All clothes are washed, all semen stains on furniture cleaned, all dishes put away, and once again, the apartment looks like it's been professionally decorated. Don't want to touch anything for fear lifestyle photographers will turn up and accuse self of blasphemy.
7.15pm
Oops. Seem to have offended Luke by staring with slightly panicked expression at Martha Stewart-style home. He's now sulking in the kitchen. Can hear him martyredly muttering about his talents and hard work being wasted on me. Hm. Feel slightly guilty as obviously he made an effort. Better go make amends before chances of after-dinner sex disappear entirely.
7.30pm
Hm. Am lying on kitchen floor. Following conversation just took place:
Me: "Sorry, I didn't mean to look like that. I suppose I still haven't got used to living in comfort and being looked after."
Him: (caves in predictably) "Oh, look, I'm sorry. I just wanted to make an effort..."
Me: "Well... (looks around room, restraining shock at spotting doilies) It's appreciated. I love it."
Him: (beams in way that makes me soppy and love-ridden) "Thanks. I know you don't normally know much about living properly so I'm happy to be the one to show it to you."
Me: (all previous sanity and thoughts of apologies gone as begin a spectacular and spontaneous irrational outburst) "LIVING PROPERLY?!! LIVING PROPERLY?!! ExCUSE me, your Highness, but I'm quite happy living in a plain and relatively sterile area *I* consider homely, without the need to scrub, pull, straighten and plaster every surface and item we own with an anally retentive and more than somewhat camp style, tearing all life and individuality out of it until we can't even enter for fear of treading a speck of dirt onto its beautifully-polished a la mode floorboards!"
Him: (staring with shock as has realised outburst sounded more camp than actual content which was intended to insult said 'camp')
Me: (still pissy at being snobbed) "Snotty little Hobbit." (I realise, in retrospect, that was not the most mature postscript to outburst. I always fall into the habit of mentioning his height when irritated with him.)
Him: (recovers) "HOBBIT?!" (tries to stand tall to prove me wrong. Obviously fails miserably)
Me: (now even pissier and at verbal best, so stand even taller) "Yes! Only good for one thing at that height." (leers, feeling proud of self for witty retort)
Him: (eyes bulge as was thrown by aforementioned highly witty retort) "Well...Well...You're not getting that again (eyes my crotch, oops), and...and... there's nothing wrong with my height. You're abnormally tall. Like Aragorn."
Me: (baffled as obviously don't look anything like Aragorn, shame) "Umm... (feels am not going to win argument if gets into too nerdy topics as Luke far surpasses me on Lord of the Rings knowledge) So... (decide spontaneously to try new tactic) You'd like it if I were Aragorn and you were my little crotch-heighted Hobbit...?"
So... it turns out Luke has a fetish I hadn't known about. Am not complaining.
8pm
Have now moved to the living room and am recovering from second bout of mind-blowing role-playing sex. Ooh, must add:
Position no.18, Kitchen: oral sex against dishwasher.
Comfort: 9/10 (as knees wanted to buckle but would've caused cartilage damage if fell on floor)
Climax: 11/10 (apparently I also might have interesting new fetish. Planning trip to videostore on weekend)
Position no.12, Living Room: oral sex bent backwards over TV cabinet.
Comfort: 4/10 (must take up Yoga classes to improve comfort rating)
Climax: 9/10 (marred slightly by twinge in back from unnatural angle)
Just a moment...wasn't I meant to also punish him tonight?
Right. Will just go deal with that.
11pm
Am sated. Superbly satisfied sated Sergeant, I am. Though, did not realise how much one's hand can sting after spanking one's significant other for an hour. Wonder if that's normal? Maybe my hands are just delicate? Must look up internet at the station tomorrow for advise on spanking technique.
11.05pm
Should note that Luke enjoyed it. He's not even complained about the new batch of semen-stains now present on the couch, floor, bed and, I must smugly add, halfway up the refrigerator.
**********
11.23am
ARGH!! ARGH!! Oh my god why didn't he wake me?!! ARGH!!
11.45am
Luke's on the night shift tonight so he's sleeping in. SLEEPING IN?! He's a morning person! It's against their nature to sleep in! How could he do this to me?! I can't be relied on to wake up on my own! Though, now, I have developed an appreciation for Luke's dedication to waking me in the mornings. Must try not to swear at him when he does it in the future.
12pm
Just had the quickest shower imaginable and stuffed breakfast down and am desperately trying to think of ways to explain extreme lateness to Gina.
1pm
Oooops. Am at work now and even my PC's looked surprised by my lateness. One even had the gall to look disapprovingly at me. Obviously he's new. Better show him why he shouldn't do that.
1.20pm
Hm. Am surprised other underlings did not explain to new underling about how to behave around me in the morning. Or afternoon, as it might be. Suspect they might not like him. Or maybe it's a new initiation dare. Hm. Either way, he's now huddling in the locker room with a nervous twitch and a pile of paperwork he can't even see over. Nyhahaha.
1.35pm
Have I mentioned that I would make a good superintendent? Obviously I intimidate impressively.
1.45pm
Postscript: Will leave hopes of being a superintendent until also develop actual work dedication and ability to complete tasks assigned. And until I can turn up to work at 7am continually.
2pm
No, superintendent is not for me. Shame, as the underling intimidation I do enjoy.
3pm
Now am worried. Have not yet been called into Gina's office for being late. Why is this? Am slightly concerned she has passed out drunk behind her desk in a pile of cigarette ash. Hope not. Twice in one year is not normal.
3.05pm
If Gina can do that and is still an Inspector, then maybe I could be one too! My own new office with Bacardi's stored in the desk drawers...
3.15pm
Oh. Gina just came by and was apparently out looking for the missing booze. She didn't mention my lateness and I proceeded to look frazzled as though have been overworked since early hours of the morning. For once, succeeded in deception.
3.20pm
Gina back at the desk again. Have been informed that even more booze is missing than was yesterday. Have been told by her, after being called into her office, that she thinks we might have a serial boozer on the loose. Right. Won't they be easy to find.
Was then promptly told off by Gina for giving a sarcastic look displaying lack of faith in our abilities to find said needle in a haystack.
We then settled for drinking two more Bacardi's that were conveniently being held as evidence in Gina's desk drawer. Love Gina.
5pm
Am home. Slightly slightly little bit drunk. Found few more bottles of drink in desk and drunk them. Sent home by Gina for good of self and others in Force. Suspect was just because Gina was drunk also and also wanted home to sleep. Right. Where's Luke? Oh, nightshift. Night shift?! WHATABOUTSEX?!! SEX!! Will drink more. Cannot cope with no sex.
2am
Am I stil awayk? Gaaaah, worri of madnes from noo luke sweet sweet botttom. Mus find won or willl need tooo mastab- mas- wankness.
nitey nightt.
**********
7am
Arghohmygodisthatmyheadargh.
7.20am
Was woken up and fed hangover cure by caring, thoughtful boyfriend. Do not know what it is but tastes foul. Don't care as have a caring, thoughtful boyfriend. Glad he's here. Glad, glad, glad.
Hope desperately that I was not sleeping with my hand on my knob when he arrived home (as woke up in said position), as that would be slightly embarrassing, even for me.
8am
Am standing outside the door to our apartment, without any goodbye sex! Was shoved out in undignified manner while trying to grope said shover. Cannot believe he wants to go to sleep instead of having sex! How does he expect me to get through the day?! Cannot possibly cope with this. Is quite unfair.
8.30am
Am at work. Must remember to arrive before 9am more often as catches underlings off their guard.
8.35am
Christ have mercy on my poor hungover body. Yawwwwn.
8.40am
Need to sleep. Adrenaline spurred by attempted sex-session with Luke now has worn off. Now am faced with a whole day of:
a) sexual frustration
b) hangover
c) irritating little underlings
d) paperwork
e) irritating superior officers
f) lack of people to arrest for stealing infamous booze
g) general lack of people to arrest
9am
Just had morning meeting. Apparently the alcohol thief has good taste in booze as now seems to only be stealing Bacardi Breezers. Might start looking for him in gay clubs.
9.05am
Actually, not a bad idea. Wonder if Gina would laugh if I told her the booze-stealer might be found in gay clubs? Hm. I'm willing to take time off this afternoon's work to check out said clubs. All in the name of justice, and all that.
9.30am
ARGH. I am so desperately aroused, this is quite distracting. I was sure I could get through this day without sex with Luke, but it's just hit me. Really badly. One minute I was standing at the desk processing some old man for who knows what, and the next my mind starts thinking about what me and Luke could have done if only he was home last night. Now I have a straining erection to battle along with a hangover. ARGH.
9.40am
This is all Gina's fault. She approved the rosters. She gave Luke night shift. Why does she hate me? WHY?!
9.45am
Fine, so I'm late to work sometimes. Fine, so I am generally rude, pissy or otherwise irritable to all underlings within sight. But that's hardly MY fault. It's all sexual frustration. I just need allocated sexual gratification time rostered into my days. And now, Gina's just made it worse by depriving me of my daily dose of Luke. Cannot possibly be expected to achieve work goals for today.
10am
Am considering putting Gina on report for hideous abuse of officer's rights.
10.03am
Hm. Why have I not thought of putting Gina on report before? Wonder if I can do that?
10.05am
Just looked it up. No I can't, apparently. Shame.
11am
Am boooooored. Little irritating underlings are alternating between avoiding me and interrupting me to make me process people they've nicked. Can't they do it themselves? Then again, it is slightly gratifying taking out frustration in form on verbally demeaning and pissy retorts directed at random criminals as they're being processed. Nyhaha. Serves them right for breaking the law in the first place.
1pm
LUKE'S HERE! LUKE'S HERE! I'M SAVED!
3pm
Now I've calmed down slightly, I'll recite what happened. Luke just came strolling along the corridor, plain clothes as it's technically his day off, and smiled at me before coming up to talk to me. In public. With underlings within hearing distance. Was the most romantic, wonderful, sexy thing he's ever done.
Conversation went as follows:
Me: (shocked at seeing Luke) "LUKE! What...what are you doing here? Not that I'm complaining..."
Luke: (smiling) "Thought I'd come in on my day off and see how you are after your booze-up last night."
Me: (still shocked that Luke is talking to ME in PUBLIC) "Are you feeling ok, Luke? (leans in to whisper) You're being...familiar...with me. In public. Underlings, Luke. The underlings can hear."
Luke: "Underlings?"
Me: (realises fatal mistake of admitting to megalomaniac fantasies) "PC's. I meant PC's."
Luke: (grins) "I love it when you're all power-hungry. Am I your underling, too...?"
Me: (shocked, aroused, and also delighted to find all underlings had taken this moment to go to the back office and leave us alone) "Ohhh...most definitely, Ashton. Nice to see you're willing to put in extra work on your days off. That'll be rewarded."
Luke: (giggles. GIGGLES!) "Looking forward to it, Sarge. (Hm. Wonder if he uses the 'Sarge' to manipulate me or just to please me?) How about I show you just how dedicated I am to serving you..." (motions with his head down corridor in direction of my office)
Me: (still in shock but could not be more aroused without having embarrassing accident in pants) "Now?" (whispers, voice lowers at least three octaves)
Luke: (purrs. DROOOL) "Now."
...and as I moved around to his side of the desk, he turns around and swings his hips in the most erotic way I've ever seen, swaggers down the corridor towards my office, turns around for a second to give a wink and disappears inside the room.
That led to me yelling into the back room to call any and every underling out to man the desk before telling them I had urgent business to attend to and could not be disturbed at ALL.
Must try and stop more spontaneous erections just thinking about what he did to me.
PANT, PANT!!
I went into my office, locked the door behind me, saw the shades had already been closed, and was confronted with Luke slowly unbuttoning his shirt while obviously sporting a raging erection down lower. Gaaaaaah. Lost all verbal control and rushed over to half-rip his clothes off, grope every inch of skin I could, while assisting Luke in his own attempts at ripping the zip of my pants open.
It was FANTASTIC. I was treated to the most amazing, mind-blowing oral sex I had received in, oh, at least a few days, interrupted only with Luke asking me such questions as: "Do you like this, Sarge?" "Am I doing this to your satisfaction, SARGE?" "Do I please you, *SARGE*?" Was brilliant. Was kinky and sexy and incredibly erotic and therefore appealed to all my favourite things.
AND, if that wasn't enough, he then stood up, bent over my desk (MY DESK! I'll never be able to concentrate there again!) in the most beautifully shameless invitation of sex I have ever witnessed for at least, oh, a week. I was still mostly wearing my uniform, which is a major turn on for Luke, and got the pleasure of listening to him moan, groan, pant and muffle one impressive orgasm at my apparently highly-skilled hands (and other body parts).
Did I mention I am pleased I decided to turn up to work today?
Well, I AM.
4pm
Luke's gone back to our apartment now, not before whispering thoroughly foul and wonderfully dirty promises of what I will be greeted with upon my return at the end of my shift.
Wonder if I can get away with leaving now? Might be pushing my luck considering my attendance for the last few days. Hm. Oh, Gina's here. God, I hope she didn't have some kind of camera planted in my office and is about to make me discuss what just happened. Wouldn't put it past her at ALL.
7pm
That did NOT just happen.
The INDIGNITY of it all!
I think I almost would have PREFERRED to have her discuss Luke and my rendezvous in my office, over THIS.
Must calm down. Must not take offence. ARGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
Ok, will explain it in a rational and calm manner.
4pm: Gina called me into her office and asked me, plain as day, whether it was ME who was stealing all the alcohol around Sunhill. ME. She said, because I was the only one she knew who didn't have pints of lager down as their sole drink of choice, that it MUST be me who's hoarding Bacardi Breezers. Cannot believe this. That's not clever police deduction - it's MADLY INSANE REASONING BASED ON LACK OF WANTING TO PUT ANY EFFORT IN TO FIND THE *REAL* THIEF!
4.30pm: I argued the point, huffed and looked as indignant as possible while still being reasonably respectful to a superior officer, but to no avail! She actually made me go into the interview rooms for official questioning!
5pm: By this stage I became the laughing stock of the entire station now my taste for fruity rum has become common knowledge. Various underlings are actually smirking and stifling laughs as they come in and out of the room. Tried glaring at them but for once it actually didn't work as have now lost the complete respect of every one of them. Cannot believe it.
6pm: Suffered through a shocking questioning asking my whereabouts at the times of the robberies. Clearly stated with great restraint involving only a minimum rolling of my eyes and appalled sighs, just exactly where I was on all occasions: At WORK. At the MAIN DESK processing REAL CRIMINALS. Nevertheless, the worst was yet to come.
6.30pm: Was ESCORTED by my OWN underlings, to a holding cell while they debated whether I was guilty or not. My own holding cells! Cannot believe I was put in one of my own cells! (Ok, technically not mine, but I rule over them so is equally as bad as if they were mine). Was mortified at how quickly my underlings turned on me. Not ONE of them stood up for me and said they knew I was at the desk all day. One even had the gall to say he couldn't account for me before the hours of 10am and after mid-afternoon on most days! Littlesnitchpissybastard. Will enact my almighty revenge on him, come Monday.
7pm: JUST got released then after sanity regained its hold over the station. Gina apologised for suspecting me and for letting news of my drink taste spread over the station. Will now have to go to the pub with fellow officers and drink very masculine pints for WEEKS until they forget.
On a plus, Gina did give me a box full of Bacardi's to bring home as an apology. She snuck them too me when no one was looking. Might forgive her soon.
I've been let off shift early, considering. (Carefully didn't mention this was the latest time I usually leave the station) Am just about to find a way to sneak a box of Bacardi's out to my car without anyone noticing. Right. Better make a run for it now.
10pm
Well, THIS night's just FULL of interesting revelations.
Am currently lying at home, curled up naked against an equally naked Luke Ashton, amidst a sea of Bacardi bottles.
LUKE's the thief. Technically. Cannot believe it.
That's THE most romantic thing (albeit, illegal, but will ignore that just for tonight) anyone have ever done for me.
I came home, feeling pissy and miserable, opened the door to be greeted by the site of multitudes of Bacardi bottles amid candles, displayed in a trail from the doorway to the bedroom. Was so beautiful. (Do not mean that in an alcoholic way, I should mention. Just was sweet. Sweet, sweet, sweet.)
Apparently Luke found out about my taste for Bacardi a few weeks ago and found the opportunity to surprise me. I was pleased to hear he didn't actually steal them himself - he just never handed them into me at the station after finding out who WAS actually stealing them. Now, come to think of it, I do remember him coming in what that one box of Bacardi and maybe, just maybe, I should have questioned him further then about the details of that acquisition. Oh, well. That's all in the past now.
I followed the trail of bottles to the bedroom and found Luke, naked and sprawled over the sheets, eyes twinkling, grinning seductively as he carefully poured a small trail of rum down his chest. I, barely believing my luck, stripped naked as fast as possible and proceeded to spend the next few hours slowly licking the addictive liquid poured from bottle after bottle off his naked body. And he paid me the same favour. And now, I am immensely pleased to say, I believe I have Luke hooked on the drink.
Luke's asleep now, lying here with me on our bed. Our rum-soaked bed. It's a mess, will stain and probably smell in the morning, is definitely like one large wet-patch, but for once in our relationship Luke didn't care.
That is the most meaningful compliment he could ever pay me.
Midnight
Might fall asleep now. Can't stop staring at him.
Love Luke. Love the usually anally retentive, occasionally romantic, unadmittedly gay nymphomaniac that he is.
Oh, and:
Position 1, bedroom: missionary position, me on top.
Comfort: 10/10
Climax: 10/10
Can't fault the classics.
**********
THE END.