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Snowman


 
 


    When did he become conscious? Does any sentient being ever become conscious at once, whether at birth or waking from sleep?
    There were vague memories of a universe filled with crystals drifting in breathtaking silence, each separate in space yet together in their swirling, spiraling direction, moving away from the gray above to the white below. The wind dance continued in infinite patterns until finally, noiselessly the crystals fell no more and gathered together in the whiteness.
    The stillness was profound. There was no way to measure time now that movement had ceased. It might have lasted an eternity but if it did, eternity ended with the sound of laughter. The laughter began to shape him, he could sense it pulling him into existence, drawing him away from the eternal stillness to give him form, to give him life. And finally, when he was judged complete, he was given senses: a nose to smell the world about him and eyes to see his Creators. And he was whole at last. He now saw that his Creators had made him in their own image but whiter and rounder and still they laughed and danced around him in their joy at giving life. They danced on the Whiteness beneath a Great Light up above and the dance was the joy of life! But another voice came from the distance and his creators became sad and looked at him longingly before disappearing toward the voice.
    What strange power could silence the laughter and draw away his makers? His sadness overwhelmed him and the light began to fade with his hopes. The loneliness of the darkness was crushing. Had he been brought into existence just to be abandoned? His mind searched for a sign. There were lights up above! Tiny and frail, their twinkling nature stirred primal echoes of the dancing crystals in his memory. Here was the sign. Light was hope. Light would not fail him. And as his faith grew the sky brightened! Soon the laughter heralded the return of the Creators, his faith had saved him. He would never forget.
    The cycles of light continued, sometimes the Great Light was hidden by the Grayness and crystals would fall and sometimes the little twinkling lights were invisible but he always knew they would return and they always did. His faith grew with every passing cycle of night and day and he was rewarded. The Great Light climbed ever higher in the sky and grew in power. And then one day, one gray day it happened. The laughter didn't come. It was the same Grayness that the falling crystals had fallen from but something else fell now, something smaller, faster with no grace to it's movement. The Whiteness faded more rapidly than before...and he with it. Before long his diminishing size couldn't support his nose, shortly after his eyes fell from his head leaving him without any way to perceive the world around him. There was only thought to define his existence to himself now. And even that, his very essence, was ebbing away and his consciousness began to disperse. Thinking became more difficult now, memories were elusive. He vaguely recalled that he once had heard laughter...no, the memory was gone...
    When did he lose consciousness? Does any sentient being ever lose conscious at once, whether at death or going to sleep?
 
 





© 2000 by Michael Sullivan
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