The hermit watched the final television pictures of mushroom clouds with disgust. Let them die in their nuclear armageddon! He was safe in his bunker with enough food to last a lifetime. And books! His only real friends crowded around him in their countless multitude.
    "What to read first? Well, got to make a visit to the bathroom first. OH NO!!! IT CAN'T BE!!! I'VE FORGOTTEN TOILET PAPER!!!"
    Looking around at his friends, he wondered who would make the supreme sacrifice. Spying a box of paperbacks he had shoved aside, his eyes lit up.
    "Hey, Fabio!"