Danny: No, I don't believe you. You're scared to death and I've seen that look before..that night at the dock when you thought I was going to kill you.
Michelle: Danny......Danny I'm not "afraid" of you......I haven't been afraid of you in a very, very long time......
Danny: Are you sure? --May 7th, 1999
It has been two weeks since Nino’s surprise visit. Every time that I am on campus, I keep expecting him to sneak up on me when I least expect it. The slightest sound makes me jump. I am probably being paranoid but I can’t help it. Danny does not know. I can’t tell him because I am afraid that something bad might happen if I do. I can’t let Danny think that I am still scared of him because I am not. I am just scared of what Danny’s family represents. I don’t want Nino to hurt Danny. For the last week, I have been afraid to go to sleep because I always dream of Nino. It is a nightmare that keeps playing over and over; Nino is chasing me, and I cry out for Danny, but Danny is no where in sight.
Two nights ago, my dream seemed so real, that I screamed out in my sleep, and woke up Danny. I can still see his concerned look, and hear his soft soothing voice, but I could not tell him that it was Nino that was plaguing my dreams. I couldn’t because if he knew the truth, then he would feel guilty, and I can’t do that to him. Danny was so wonderful that night. He stayed awake until I was able to drift off to sleep. I felt so warm and safe in his embrace. I could not get Nino’s voice out of my head. "How sweet, he wants to protect you. But Danny can’t protect you all the time, Mrs. Santos.” Danny will protect me. I am safe with him. I can’t let Nino play on my fears. I can’t. I was finally lulled to sleep by the beating of Danny’s heart. It was the most beautiful sound that I had ever heard in my entire life.
This morning before I left for school, Danny tried to talk to me, but I pushed him away. I just wanted him to take me far away from Nino, Carmen and everything. I wanted to be happy. And with Carmen and Nino around, it would hard to do anything without the contast fear of being watched every minute of the day. School is still a good escape from my problems, and I was able to put all my frustration into my work, and things were starting to fall into place.
I felt a lot better when Bill returned to campus. He immediately sensed that something was wrong, and knew enough not to ask. I know that I would have to tell him the truth sooner or later. But I was afraid of his response, he would tell me that Danny is bad news and that his family is too dangerous but I know that Carmen is the only threat. Danny is a wonderful man, and I wish that my family and friends would see that. I felt safe with Bill around. I was glad to have such a wonderful friend. Bill was trying to make a effort to get along with Danny, but he still didn’t trust him.
Now, I can understand how Danny feels. I can’t fight both Danny and Bill, and I refuse to choose between either of them. Bill has always been there for me, and I can’t fathom my life without him. Just like I can’t imagine my life without Danny.
*********
Carmen: Why, why did you take this dangerous step, what were you thinking?
Danny: I'll do anything to be with Michelle
I have been pacing the floor in our bedroom for almost twenty minutes. Mama’s announcement at breakfast shook me to the core. She coolly announced that Bernard was coming over for lunch to discuss “business.” Alarm bells were going off in my head. I could not let Mama know that I was nervous about this meeting because she was already suspicious enough, and it was only going to get worse. I was furious at myself for being so careless. There were some many things that still needed to be done, and if Mama knew, I would never be able to break away from the family.
Bernard was putting myself in a sticky situation by helping me, and I was grateful for his help. Papa had always liked Bernard, and for a time, the Riveras were close family friends. Bernard was a tough but fair man, and he was the one who helped Mama with running the business after Papa died. After Papa’s death, things began to change. Mama started to alienate Papa’s friends and she even turned against Bernard. All she seemed to care about was the power, and she often used violence to keep her enemies in line.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Maria giving a wary glance. I look down and realize that in my anticipation of the meeting, I forgot to put on a shirt and tie. Smiling, Maria brings over a dress suit and tie for me, and says in a humorous tone, “Daniel, the carpet is going to have holes in it, if you keep pacing up and down.” I let out a chuckle, and put on my shirt. As I put on my tie, I notice one of Michelle’s textbooks stick out from under the bed, and I can feel a huge grin spread over my face. I am acting like 15 years old again.
Memories of the other night come flooding back. Michelle had been having nightmares. She thinks that I don’t know that but I do. The other night, I was awaken by her screaming, she was absolutely terrified. It took her over an hour to fall back to sleep. It was nearly impossible for me to fall back asleep with Michelle in my arms. All I could do was watch her sleep.
But something happened last night. Sitting on that bed, with all of Michelle’s textbooks spread all over the place, we shared something special. I had just got back from dinner with Ray at Towers, and Michelle was studying. Normally, I would leave the room when she studied, so she could have some space, but she surprised me, when she asked me to stay.
“Danny! Hi! I am so glad that you are home,” she had bounced off the bed and walked over to me. I noticed the look in her eyes, when she noticed that I was taking some work and leaving,, “Oh, I didn’t realize that you have work to do. Oh, never mind.” I could see disappointment cloud over the glint that had been in her eyes just a minute ago. Disappointed, she stomped back over to the bed.
I was so mesmizered by sight of Michelle in her pajamas that I could not speak. “I was just going to the study so I would not bother you.”
Michelle’s face crinkled in amusement. “So, that is where you hide every night? I had always wondered where you went to. Could you stay here tonight?” She sounded like a little kid at Christmas time.
“I don’t want to bother you.” I sounded like such an idiot.
Michelle laughed. “Danny, you don’t bother me, and plus, I would like the company.”
Elation shot through my body. Moments like these made all the pain of our marriage worth it. The times when we can act like a normal married couple. I nod briefly to Michelle and sink into upolsherted chair. Michelle slowly gets off the bed and walks over to me. With a huge smile plastered on her face, she takes my hand, and tries to yank me out of the chair.
“Michelle, what are you doing? You are going to break your back.”
“You are coming with me. If you are going to do work, you have to sit next to me. And it is more comfortable on the bed. Danny, please!”
I glance to our bed and see all the textbooks scattered in a million directions. “Michelle, there is no room for me. All your books are taking up the entire bed.”
Her beautiful laugh filled my heart. “Oh, yeah. I will move them. I need your help with my homework anyways.”
For the next three hours, I helped Michelle study for Biology. It was a lot of fun. I was a lot like Michelle when I was in college. I felt like I was in college again, and it was so freeing. College was the one time in my life that I had been able to be myself, and forget about being a Santos. As I watched Michelle study, I was thinking about that night at Millenium when I had finally decided to go and talk to her. That was the first moment that I realized that Michelle was a special person. Now, as I await my lunch with Mama and Bernard, I can still smell Michelle’s scent. I can still feel her touch. Memories of last night flood into my mind: Michelle leaning over and giving me a hug, not willing to let go, her fingers brushing a curl off my forehead. Michelle’s lips brushing over my cheek. My hand touches my cheek, and I can still feel the warmth of her lips. Everything seems to remind me of Michelle.
I glance at the clock. It’s showtime. Taking a deep breath, I take a quick glance in the mirror to make sure everything is in place, and I walk into the dining room. Bernard is seated at the table. Mama glances up at me, and her eyes are cool. She looks like she is about to go for the kill. As I slide into my chair across from Bernard, Mama says in an equally cold tone. “Daniel, there is a matter that must be dealt with, and I want it taken care of.” Damn, she knows. Bernard glances in my direction, and gives a quick nod.
To be continued…
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