"Don't, don't promise anything just...just take care of yourself please." May 17th

*********

The feeling of cold water on my cheek wakes me up. I must have fallen asleep. I squint in the darkness of the room and notice Michelle at the foot of the bed studying. I wince as I try to lift my head from the pillow. Michelle glances up from her book and walks over to me. The painkillers that she gave me were starting to wear off and the memories of earlier tonight flood my mind. I can still feel the warmth of Michelle’s hands caressing my bruise. It had taken all my self-control not to make love to her. In that moment, I was able to see the longing that I see in my own eyes.

For the first time in our marriage, I had a sign from Michelle. She wanted me as much as I wanted her. And I was going to do everything in my power to make sure that happened. But now, I have to clean up this mess with Bernard, and make things right before Michelle knows. I can’t risk her life. I had already forced her to make a decision that she hated and I was not going to do that to her again. Never again.

“Danny, you’re awake. You feel asleep and I didn’t have the heart to wake you.” There was that beautiful shy smile that shoots to my heart

I let out a chuckle. “Yeah, those painkillers really knocked me out. So, Dr. San..Bauer, will I be ok?”

Michelle notices my hesitation at calling her Dr. Santos. It hurt so much to say Mrs. Santos. All I can hear is her angry voice “I will never love you, Danny. I love Jesse..” I need to know that she wants to be my wife, and right now, I am still not sure if she does. I am just still scared that Michelle will not be able to love me.

Michelle sighs. “Danny, um, you will be fine. You should really see a doctor. Is there anything that I can get you? Carmen was wondering where you were. I told her that you were working, so Maria is going to be us some food.”

“Sounds good. I am hungry. And I appreciate you covering for me with Mama. I don’t think that I can handle her right now. You don’t seem to broken up about missing dinner with Mama.” I try to smile as wide as my bruised cheek will let me.

“Well, your Mother was not shed any tears that I was not there. And it will be nice to eat with you for a change. I might have the chance to talk to someone else for a change.”

I give her a shy smile. Guilt rushes through me. I think of all those lonely dinners in all those hotels. I missed Michelle so much. I missed being around her. I missed her smile. I missed her. “Yeah, I can understand that. Mama is not one for chatting,” I pause and lay on my hand on hers. “It will nice to spend time with you too, Michelle. Baby, can you do me a favor? Can you bring me my jacket?”

Michelle hops off the bed and reaches for my jacket, which is spread out on the chair, as she picks the jacket up, something falls from the pocket. My breath catches in my throat. I notice Michelle reach down on the floor to get the object. The glint of the gold reflects against the lights. The keys start to make clinking sounds as Michelle waves them in the air. She looks at me with a puzzling glance. Oh, God, What am I going to do now?

“Danny, what are these doing in your pocket? Why do you have two keys in your pockets?”

I try to clear my head. I really need to think straight right now. The keys.. Bernard had given them to me tonight. As he placed them in my palm, he gave me a sad smile. “Danny, these keys are for your future. I am giving them to you now, just in case, something happens.” He held his hand up before I could open my mouth.

“You need to trust me, Danny. I am giving you these keys because I believe that you will do the right thing. I hope that you will. Once I know that you and Michelle are safe, then you will get further information. Danny, it is up to you to tell Michelle the truth. You are the only one who can decide if you can share this part of your life with her. You need to be able to trust Michelle. Can you trust Michelle with your life, Danny? You need to be able to answer that when the time comes.”

Bernard had slipped out of the building and disappeared into the darkness leaving me perplexed. What the hell was that about? I already knew the answer to his question. Despite everything, I did trust Michelle. Her life was my life.

Michelle’s annoyed voice interrupts my thoughts. “Danny, what is going on? Why do you have these keys?”

*******

“I am a man and when you climb into bed with me, beside me, never touching, never touching, I lie there awake, staring into the dark, aware of everything that you're doing, of how you breathe, of the rustle of the sheets and it takes every ounce of my being to not want to reach out to you. I care about you. I desire you. I want to reach out to you.” Feb 9th

I can’t believe that he is not answering me. Anger was starting to overwhelm me. Something was going on. I probably didn’t want to know what was going on, but I was worried sick about Danny. He had gotten hurt tonight and some night, he might not even come home at all. A chill runs through my body. You can’t think like that, I tell myself. You can’t. I watch the expression on Danny’s face. He is remembering something. His face is crinkled in complete concentration. My voice must have startled me out of his thoughts because he nearly leaps into a sitting position.

“Michelle. Those keys.. I am not really sure where they go to. I, I wish that I could tell you more, but I can’t Michelle. I can’t. I’m so sorry.” He is pleading for my forgiveness. Forgiveness for what? I know that he wants to tell me but he can’t. I decide that I am going to trust Danny on this. I just hope that I will not regret this.

“Ok, Danny. I am sorry that I jumped down your back. My nerves are just shot.”

“Thank you, Michelle. I promise you that I will tell you the truth when I know. I just need you to trust me. I need you to believe me..”

I do. I do. I instinctively walk over to the bed and sit down in front of him. I need him to know that I do believe him. In a small whisper, I say, “I do believe you. I know that you will protect me, Danny. But who is going to protect you, Danny?”

Those beautiful brown eyes of his stare into my soul. I can see the concern mirrored in his eyes. Without thinking of what I am doing, I take his face in my hands, and I place a kiss on his lips. I can hear a gasp come from his mouth. Suddenly, I feel so embarrassed. What possessed me to do that? Danny notices my hesitation, and gives me a small smile that sends flutters through my body. He kisses me back with such passion that I am beginning to feel dizzy. His fingers stroke my hair, and I pull my arms around his neck to draw him closer to me. I let out a squeak when Danny pulls me down onto the bed and rolls me under him.

My heart is beating a mile a minute. Danny looks at me for any sign of resistance, and when I don’t give him any, he lowers his lips to mine. His lips brush my cheeks, my collarbone, and my shoulders. My mind slow starts to register what is happening. I have never felt like this before. Fireworks are shooting through my body. I have wanted this for so long that I can’t believe that it is actually happening. My shaking hands find the buttons on Danny’s shirt, and I start to loosen the buttons.

Suddenly, Danny pulls away. His eyes have a glazed look. My mind is so dazed that I don’t realize that he is now sitting next to me. His expression on his face is unreadable. Embarrassment starts to flood my body. I nervously brush my hair away from my face and straighten my shirt. Nobody says a word. The silence is driving me crazy.

With shaking hands, he tries to re button his shirt, but finally gives up when his fingers don’t cooperate. Tears start to fill the back of my eyes. Blindly, I try to get off the bed and walk to the bathroom. Danny grabs my arm and turns me towards him. He notices the tears starting to fall on my face. Gently, he brushes the tears with the back of his hand.

“Michelle. Please, don’t cry. Baby, what is the matter?”

“I thought, I thought that you wanted,” I wave my hands in direction of the bed, “this, but I guess that I was wrong. I have made a total fool out of myself. I want to leave before I lose all my dignity.”

Danny’s face softens. “Michelle. I do want this as much as you. I do. I, I just can’t do this.. Not like this. I need you to understand.”

I can’t stop the tears from running down my face. “I want to.. Danny, it’s just, that for the first time, we got close and..” I can hear my voice breaking

“Michelle. I want this to be special, and I can’t do this now. I’m not thinking clearly, and I don’t want to do something that I might regret or you will..”

“Danny, I don’t regret it.. I just confused, I don’t know.. I..”

Danny pulls me into his arms and soothes me. He strokes my hair and lets me cry. I have no idea why I am crying anymore. Danny kisses the top of my forehead, and says into my hair, “I want you more than you will ever know, Michelle.”

*********

Somewhere outside of Springfield

“I told you to keep me appraised of the situation, and you have forgotten to mention that he has them in his possession. I know the importance of this, and I also know that this is a delicate matter. If it is not handled right, it will be a mess. We can’t allow let him lose. The last person was too weak, so know it is up to him. And I do what ever it takes to make sure that it does not fall apart. I will do ANYTHING to ensure that.”

The print from the newspaper clippings was starting to smug on my fingers. My vision is getting blurry from reading the articles. I have read them so many times that I have them memorized. “Mick Santos, son of reputed mob family Manuel and Carmen Santos, was found dead at a local Springfield beach…” The second article caught my interest. Dated February 18th 1999, it read “Mob Heir Danny Santos Weds Michelle Bauer.”

There was something fishy about this marriage. The word on the street is that Danny had been forced to marry Michelle Bauer, and that he preferred his life as a playboy. Warning bells were going off as I glanced back to the first article to the second. I finally say the question that has been bothering me all day outloud, “So, what does Mick have to do with Danny’s marriage?”

TO BE CONTINUED………….

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