House For Sale
3042 Exchange St. Lawrence, MA
What a house! The action in this neighborhood is so thick, you could slice it with a knife, and coincidently, that's the neighborhood motto. Quaintly located amid other high rises in the neighborhood, you'll see that more neighbors are better as they often keep an eye on each other. You owe it to yourself to check out this treasure of a house and its colorful neighborhood.
Let the soothing Urban rhythms put you to sleep at night. Also, outdoor trash-barrel barbecues are popular. House has washing machine but no dryer as telephone wires are conveniently close to the house. This neighborhood is so state of the art, garbage pickup isn't even necessary.
Need a new pair of shoes? Simply snip a cable wire from a pole. As an educational bonus we guarantee you'll pick up some foreign language phrases within a week or two. Area is also well patrolled by police. Neighborhood valets are convenient and will park your car for you without needing the keys.
As an added bonus, they'll even clean your car out for you.
Too lazy to put on a shirt? Not to worry, the neighborhood has a clothing optional policy. Tired of the clutter in your house? Just leave the door unlocked when you go on vacation. What's that you say? You want to get rid of your family pet? Don't take Rover to the pound, just release him next to a nearby Chinese Restaurant.
A very rich neighborhood. Neighbors are so well-off, they never seem to have the same car. Need to call 911? Not here! Simply look out a window and ask a policeman for help. Worried about cockroaches? Fear not! While other houses may have this problem you never will because the lead paint and unusual amount of asbestos keeps them out.
Also, for your convenience, any medical problems you may experience will be easy to deal with as traveling neighborhood pharmacists will cater to your every need. Also, car radios are surprisingly affordable and easy to purchase.
The neighborhood has an authentic "street zoo" with hundreds of different species of porch monkeys. Tired of going to work? Don't! Just call 1-800-WELFARE and tell them your name is Miguel Sanchez. Or if that doesn't work try using Willie Nelson.
Spend time in the city colorfully referred to by the locals as the armpit of Massachusetts. Just sit back, relax, and let everyone else do your work for you.