Listening to: chorus tape, trying to learn music!
Reading: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
Weather: 50 and cloudy (It’s cold!!)
Trivia: WHICH PLANET ISN'T IN THE CLASSICAL SUITE "THE PLANETS"?
Pluto wasn't discovered until 1930...long after Gustav Holst composed "The Planets." But, then again, he didn't compose a movement about Earth, either.
Cool word: serendipity [n. SER-un-DIP-uh-tee]
Serendipity is the ability to make fortunate discoveries by accident, without expecting them. Example: "The uncovering of the ancient inscribed stones was pure serendipity, since I was actually digging a hole for a fencepost." This word was coined in 1754 by a British author, Horace Walpole, who said he based it on an old Persian fairy tale called "The Three Princes Of Serendip." In this story, the three princes were always making happy, unexpected discoveries. In Old Persian, Sarandib was the name of the island we now call Sri Lanka. The Persian name was a corruption of the Sanskrit Sinhaladvipa (island of lions), which was also the source of the name of the Sri Lankan language, Sinhalese.
Down in the Dumps
I am feeling so low. Everything is getting to me. I could probably do a laundry list of things that are making me feel as if I’d just like to stay in bed and never emerge.
First is school. I should not have gone back, I’m already unhappy. Even the parent of one of my kids mentioned it to me today. She works in our cafeteria as a monitor and she stopped me today to ask me a question. I tried to put her off, as I was on my way to another classroom. She insisted on walking with me, and I answered her questions, then she looked at me and said, "I don’t know how you keep all this straight, it’s overwhelming. There are some days that I see you and you look so overwhelmed and depressed that I can’t bring myself to stop you to talk."
This is not a good thing, if it’s coming across. I thought I was hiding it pretty well when I was out in the general public, but maybe I’m not. It may just be that she’s seeing me in an unguarded moment as I’m going from class to class and am trying to get things straightened out in my head.
There are just so many things at work that are getting to me. Parents who are never happy, no matter how much I do; teachers who are complaining about how low the kids are or how demanding the parents are – I can’t quick fix any of that. I can do my best to try to lighten things up or modify things for the kids, but that’s all I can do.
We have no space to go to when we need to work with the kids, and that is so frustrating. I don’t have a decent computer to use to complete my work, but the work piles up. Even if I did have a computer I have no time to get work done at school.
Our administrators are useless. I have to say my principal is trying really hard to do everything that is right, but the special ed director is such a moron and of no use at all. She is so out of touch with the day to day goings on of an elementary school that she can’t make any informed decisions.
Something happened today that never should have, and if she had done her job last week it wouldn’t have happened. Instead she ignored what needed to be done, and the shit hit the fan today. Her neglect disrupted everyone’s lives and caused enormous turmoil this morning. I was truly afraid that the principal was going to have a stroke.
The reading program I am trying to learn is far too overwhelming and time consuming. I’m hating every second of it. The lesson plans are incredibly involved and take almost an hour to write, then I am so unfamiliar with the program that I know I’m dong a half-assed job trying to teach it.
I hate putting so much time into something that I know I’m doing poorly.
We have to take a two-hour class on Thursday afternoon that starts at 3.30. That makes for an incredibly long day.
Then there’s Michael.
He hasn’t answered my e-mail. I would rather hear a flat-out, "No I can’t meet" than be ignored. I hate it when he does this. And I know he must have seen it as he updated his web page on Monday.
This is really making me sad.
There are many more things that are getting to me. I haven’t even touched on the chorus, my apartment, or my lack of time for myself.
It’s all piling up way too high and is soon going to manage to topple me.
The good news is that I haven’t turned to junk food for comfort.
Yet.
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