THE MEETING
Because this entry is so long, and the event so important to me, I decided to write about it on it’s own. I’ll write about the touristy stuff that we did for the rest of the day and the show we saw in a separate entry.
At four twenty or so Dee and I parted company. That is, after I got her pointed in the right direction to get a cab and I repeated the directions of what to tell the cabby over and over. She has been all over the world, but just can’t seem to handle being on her own in NYC.
I entered the subway at 45th and ended up walking underground to 42nd, as you could only get the subway from Port Authority. Someday I’ll learn the system.
My stomach was doing total flip-flops, I was getting so nervous.
I allowed way too much time. I only had to travel two stops. It looked much further on the map. So that meant I was a half-hour too early.
Ugh. I don’t mind being a bit early, but how stupid looking was this???
I started walking the wrong way when I got off the subway, so that killed some time. I needed to get to ninth and walked to seventh. Then I started wandering in and out of stores because I was so afraid I’d be way too early.
What I hadn’t taken into account was the fact that the hotel operator had not written the address of the cafe correctly. So I ended up walking back and forth, up and down, looking for this place. Finally I was so frustrated that I started stopping strangers, asking them if they knew where this place was. After several blank stares and shrugs, I met a woman who did, and I managed to reach my destination.
Fifteen minutes late!
Now, I’m panicked. Michael isn’t there. What do I do? Wait for him? Assume he gave up?
I decided to wait, as at the very least I needed some iced tea.
I chose a seat near the window, and not two minutes later I saw him walking down the street.
My heart went into overtime, as did my nerves.
When he came in the door and saw me, I stood up and he kissed me (just friendly like, nothing romantic!). He looked exactly the same. I think I’d gained twenty pounds since last year.
(Man, I have GOT to go on a diet!!)
He’s over six feet tall, and I have to look up to talk to him. As I am 5’8’’ that is very uncommon in my life.
He had on dark jeans and a yellowish-beige and black striped shirt. He’s not in the least bit handsome, but his mind is just fascinating.
We talked and teased for over an hour. About everything: his work and some articles he’s written lately that have caused a bit of controversy (he writes for a major publication so he has the ability to really rattle some chains), his trip, his girlfriend (or whatever she is).
I know I’m reading into this, but when I first aske him how he was he said things were just o.k. and it was hard to be in a relationship. I didn't ask that. I just asked how he was.
I’m hoping this means that it's not working out and that it doesn’t lead to anything permanent. I’ll be crushed otherwise, which is stupid, as I know that NOTHING but friendship can ever be between us.
We also talked about my squirrels and what he had missed in my life while he was away. It’s so comfortable to just sit and talk.
He has an interesting life and an interesting mind, so I never can let down and need to really listen and respond without drooling or stuttering.
If I appear to be an idiot and can't carry on a semi-intelligent conversation, he'll lose interest. He knows my writing very well, and thinks I'm funny and enjoys my letters so I have to keep this up in person.
This is not easy when you are nervous and consequently very conscious of every word that trips from your lips and every small gesture.
I really liked the area that we were in, and he took some time to tell me about it. I could live there, no problem.
Not just because he lives there either (notice I said JUST), but because it’s a part of the city that feels safe and seems more like a neighborhood. It was still New York but with a slower paced hustle.
I mentioned a production that some friends of his had done for television but that was never aired in Boston, and that was of interest to several of my friends as well as myself, and he offered to give me his copy.
I was so surprised and of course accepted the offer. I assumed he was going to mail it to me.
Wrong.
He paid for our drinks and we were on our way to his apartment to get it.
I may have been in shock.
He lived right around the corner, so it took no time to get there.
The building has a doorman. I always wanted to live in a building that has a doorman. This is the doorman who tells him when he has a package from me. (I’ve only done that three, no four, times.)
I noticed where the mailboxes were, that the foyer is being renovated and how narrow the hallways seemed.
I was trying to memorize everything.
Michael's apartment was a total mess, and almost a shock to the senses when you first walk in.
The first things that you notice are the floor to ceiling shelves of books, albums, and compact discs. There is barely any space to walk in, and he's got the carpet partially torn up.
His computer equipment and music equipment are all hooked up together and take up a considerable amount of space. The television was on a cart in the middle of the room, sort of angled so he could see it from the computer area. He also had stacks of videos falling all over the place. The tape he was giving me caused a minor avalanche when he removed it from the pile.
He had a couple stuffed animals on the couch (such as it was) and had the toys I'd sent him stacked on some CDs. (I was glad they were there and that he'd liked them enough to keep them. They had been sent as themes for certain things that were going on in his life, or jokes that we shared involving elves, aliens and Frankenstein.)
The entire space was quite small, far smaller than even my first one bedroom apartment. There was a small galley kitchen off the living room, next to the front door. I think the kitchen may have been smaller than mine, which is something I never thought possible!
To the left of the front door was the bathroom, also small, I’m not sure if it had tub, it may just have had a shower. Also to the left was the bedroom (get your minds out of the gutter!) The bedroom was small and the bed unmade (I only got a peek at that, but as every room is right off the living room, it was easy to get a glance.)
They mustn't have any bugs in NYC as his balcony door was open and had no screen. The balcony is also cluttered and the indoor /outdoor carpeting was in pitiful shape. The monsoon like weather of the dy before had soaked it thouroughly. The balcony overlooks a major street, and the reason he pointed it out was because of his pigeon adventure this spring. It was something he talked about for quite a while.
All this is important for me to remember, as I like to visualize where he is when he’s talking about his home, or even just thinking of him sitting at the computer writing his pieces or reading his e-mail.
I was so surprised to be there that I don't think I could take it all in.
I didn’t stay very long, as I didn’t want to wear out my welcome. I also figured that Dee was going to be pissed off that I had been gone so long. We still had to have dinner and get to the theatre by eight and it was now about six thirty.
So he made sure I knew which subway to take and which stop to get off at, then walked me to the door and kissed me goodbye.
It was a wonderful time!
The subway ride back to the hotel was only about three stops, but I still had several blocks to hike. I was huffing and puffing by the time I got there. It was all those steps coming up from the subway that nearly killed me.
Man, I have GOT to go on a diet!
Dee wasn’t too upset with me. She understood more than I’d given her credit for. Her comment of "You find the perfect man and he lives in the wrong city" struck home.
And seems pretty accurate at this point.
if I lived closer I’d make a huge effort to try to see what might work between us.
So that’s the Michael meeting. Worth the price of the entire trip.
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