July 8, 1999
Scene 1: San Cristobel
(Danny is trying to open the front door to the villa in San Cristobel. Michelle's giggling, and Danny's laughing. Surprisingly, they've changed clothes. They must have changed at the airport or something. I know that when I travel I always change clothes a couple times during the same day. And Michelle's hair has mysteriously changed from curly to straight. Hmm...makes ya wonder.)
Danny: Hold on, hold on...(Danny opens the door and he's covering Michelle's eyes, leading her into the villa.)
Michelle: Tell me if I have a step.
Danny: One stairway safely negotiated. (Keeping his hand over her eyes, he turns her to where she's facing him.)
Michelle: Mmm...
Danny: Oh, you're just too irresistible. (They start kissing. Warning: there's alot of kissing and ALOT of giggling throughout this entire scene.) Mmm...And now, for the rest of our lives--
Michelle: (Giggling still.) Wait, wait, wait! Go back.
Danny: (Laughing in a very confused way.) Go back? What do you mean?
Michelle: After negotiated.
Danny: (Uncertain.) And now...
Michelle: Before that.
Danny: What do you...I don't know. You gotta help me out. I'm lost. Give me a hint. (Oh, I just love how he says that he's lost! It's sounds so adorable and sexy at the same time!)
Michelle: (Kisses him.) Does that...does that refresh your memory just...
Danny: (Still kissing.) Oh, yes. I remember now.
Michelle: Just a little?
Danny: Mm-hmm. Senora Santos...
Michelle: (Joking...either that or she's just that stupid, which I very much doubt.) I think that's me.
Danny: Welcome to our home. (Twirls her around to where she can see the interior of the house.)
Michelle: (Kind of in a state of shock.) Oh my God. Oh my God. This is incredible.
Danny: Uh, small, I know...
Michelle: No, this is...this is ours?
Danny: Yeah, it's all ours.
Michelle: (Walking around looking at stuff, opening doors, etc, etc.) I can't...I can't...I can't believe this. I'm--I'm...(Opens the door leading out to what I think is a patio type thing.) Oh...oh my...look at this view. Look, have you seen this? (Yes, it is a gorgeous backdrop, isn't it?)
Danny: (Standing back, looking at "the view." It's so obvious he's looking at Michelle.) Oh, I am. I'm looking at the view.
Michelle: Oh my God.
Danny: It's very nice.
Michelle: I can't believe...I love this. I love this. I love you. (More kissing here.) This is the most beautiful place I've ever seen.
Danny: Well, you haven't even seen the rest of the island, yet.
Michelle: Oh, I don't care. I don't care. I just...I want to be here with you alone together. I mean, this is not...this is not just beautiful, baby. This is paradise. (Scene ends with them kissing some more.)
Scene 2: San Cristobel
(Danny and Michelle are standing in front of the door with their arms wrapped around each other.)
Michelle: I...I can't believe we're married and we are here in out own little hideaway. (Kiss.)
Danny: Mmm...and best of all, we are alone. (They still have their arms wrapped around each other and they step down into the main part of the room. Michelle's walking backwards and stumbles, but Danny holds her tighter so she doesn't trip. It's so cute! And kudos to Joie for being able to walk backwards in 5" heels...that takes talent!)
Michelle: Yes. Well, I keep expecting Dietz to come through the front door with my breakfast. (Giggling.)
Danny: (Kind of laughing.) Oh, fat chance. We actually do have servants, but I gave them the time off because (Starts whispering.) I don't want us to be disturbed.
Michelle: Oh, good idea.
Danny: So we are definitely very alone.
Michelle: Mmm...wait! Wait, wait, wait. We have servants?
Danny: Yes, you'll meet them later. Much, much, much later. (He's kissing her neck, shoulders, and chest.)
Michelle: Wait a second. What am I going to do with servants?
Danny: Oh, you'll figure it out. You know, you'll establish yourself as the mistress of the house...("Mistress of the house"? "Lady of the house" sounds better, in my opinion. Mistress makes her sound like "the other woman" or something...)
Michelle: Mm-hmm...
Danny: And the rest will fall into place. You'll be fine, I'm sure of it.
Michelle: "Mistress of the house." I kind of like that.
Danny: Okay. I want you to relax. Take your shoes off, okay? Get comfortable. I'm going to hit the fridge. I had the cook lay out some hors d'oeuvres. (Do you have any idea how long it took me to figure out how to spell that word?) And some champagne. (Starts to walk away, but then he comes back for one more kiss.) I'll be back in a second. (Another kiss...)
Michelle: Mmm...
Danny: I promise. In just a second. (Actually goes to the kitchen this time.)
Michelle: Okay. (Sits down on the couch and flips through a magazine. The front door opens and Edmund walks in, carrying some boxes. She's startled. And may I just say that Eddy looks damn good!) Oh, hello.
Edmund: Oh, you've arrived.
Michelle: Yes.
Edmund: I...well, I had no idea. I should've knocked.
Michelle: No, it's fine. That's fine.
Edmund: No, I'm terribly sorry. (He actually does sound sorry. Who would've ever thought he was evil? Not I!)
Michelle: Really, it's okay. (She's kind of nervous it seems, like she doesn't know what to say.) I...you know, you can put the boxes over there. (Points towards a table or something. I feel so embarrassed for 'Chelle in this scene! Ordering around a prince...tsk tsk.)
Edmund: Here, madam?
Michelle: Yes. Yes...you know, actually, it might be better if we put them over on that table. Just to get them out of the way.
Edmund: Yes, madam.
Michelle: Uhmm...oh, I have something for you to deliver. (Picks up the box of chocolates.) These go to the bank.
Edmund: Very good, madam.
Michelle: Yes, tey're for the bank manager. They're to be delivered as quickly as possible.
Edmund: Of course. I'd be only happy to take them there for you.
Michelle: Wonderful. I thought my husband had given you all the day off? I mean, it's fine anyhow. I'm very pleased to meet you and I'm sure we'll get along just fine. (Shakes his hand.)
Edmund: No doubt in my mind. (Oh, he is just so devastatingly handsome...not as good-looking as Danny, but still damn fine...)
Michelle: So what do you do around here? What are your...what are your duties?
Edmund: My duties? Well, they cover a wide range.
Michelle: Mm-hmm. Are you a chef? Are you a gardener? A driver?
Danny: (Walks into the room.) Your highness! (I cannot even begin to describe the look of humiliation on Michelle's face! It's so funny!)
Edmund: Danny!
Danny: Good, you're just in time for a toast. So you guys have met?
Edmund: Yes.
Michelle: Tell me you did not just call him "your highness," because if you did, I'm really, really mortified. (Danny looks very confused.)
Edmund: Please, no mortification on my account. It's forbidden by royal decree.
Michelle: Oh, I am so sorry. I can't--
Edmund: No, no. Apologies are banned, also.
Michelle: (Still very humiliated.) I really...
Edmund: Besides, I am not...I am not a highness. Not in the strictest sense of the word. That's reserved for the reigning prince of San Cristobel, my older brother, Richard.
Danny: Edmund's the next in line.
Michelle: Edmund.
Edmund: Yes. But I never answered your question, Michelle. Yes, I am a driver.
Michelle: Oh, no, no.
Edmund: I spent two years in the grand prix. I took seconds in the third, thankyouverymuch.
Danny: Yes, you did.
Edmund: And I'm also an excellent chef. My souffle is...is second to none, and as far as gardening goes, I tend my own vineyard. I produce some of the finest wine in this region, thank you very much.
Danny: Edmund is a man of many talents...and modest. (Oh...I love how he says "modest." *Be still my heart*)
Edmund: (Shakes hands with Danny.) Oh, it really is good to see you, old friend.
Danny: You, too.
Edmund: I'm happy. I'm happy to see you happy. And who wouldn't be happy marrying this beautiful woman? (Boy, he sure knows how to lay on the charm!)
Danny: Yes.
Edmund: And it is a pleasure meeting you, Michelle. (Kisses her hand.)
Scene 3: San Cristobel
(Danny and Michelle are sitting across from Edmund, drinking champagne.)
Michelle: Well, now that I can remove my foot from my mouth, I would like to apologise for ordering the future ruler of the country to deliver a box of chocolates.
Edmund: (Laughing.) I'd be happy to deliver it for you, Michelle.
Michelle: (Laughing.) Oh, no. Please. Please.
Danny: (Yeah, okay, he's laughing, too. Anyone see a pattern here?) No, no. I'll take it over, really.
Edmund: Oh, speaking of presents, that top one is yours, Michelle.
Michelle: Oh, really, you didn't have to do that.
Edmund: Oh, yes, I did.
Danny: Listen to you.
Michelle: What?
Danny: Oh, you're dying to open it. Go open it. (She gets up to get the present.) She's dying to.
Michelle: I can't believe you did this. Thank you. (Opens the present and pulls out this blue dress/wrap thingy.) Oh, oh, this is beautiful.
Edmund: It's one of our native costumes. Woven in the old ways, it's meant to last a lifetime.
Michelle: I...I...this fabric is so delicate. I can't...thank you so much.
Danny: Thank you. It's beautiful. Very nice.
Edmund: Well, I knew you'd end up with a spectacular woman, Danny, but you've outdone yourself. And you, you, Michelle, are going to be the envy of the entire population of San Cristobel. (Try the entire female population of the world! Oh yeah, and Michelle mouths "Oh, really?" right after he says that.) Every woman in San Cristobel set her cap for Danny Santos at one point or another, but he never gave any of them a second look, and now I know why. He was waiting for you. And I'm sure--sure--you'll be much easier to deal with than the other Mrs. Santos.
Danny: Yes.
Michelle: Oh, yes.
Danny: Uh, Edmund and my mother never really saw eye to eye.
Edmund: Don't sugarcoat it, Danny. Your mother and I clash. (They laugh.)
Michelle: (Raises her glass.) Join the club. To know Carmen is to clash with her and I am speaking from lots of experience.
Edmund: Well, I'm aware of what should we call, her rather unorthodox business dealings.
Danny: Oh, uh, now who's sugarcoating?
Edmund: I--I disapprove of all of it, but let's, uh, leave it at that. (Disapprove of it, my ass! Hell, you're her business partner...)
Danny: Come on, babe. Your turn. Make a toast.
Michelle: Alright. (Stands up and Danny/PAS slaps her booty .) Whoo. (See? Told ya...)
Danny: (Barely audible.) Sorry. (Maybe it's just me, but I think that the "whoo" and the "sorry" were all PAS and JL.)
Michelle: To...to you, my...
Danny: To me?
Michelle: Wonderful, darling husband.
Danny: Oh, that is...
Edmund: The good Santos. Different from the rest.
Danny: I'll drink to that.
Michelle: Absolutely.
Danny: Cheers. Mmm, well I guess we'll be toasting very soon to your brother and his new bride. When's the wedding?
Edmund: Well, uh, no date's been set, yet. Richard's out of the country right now and when he returns from the state visit, I'm sure they'll make an official announcement.
Danny: Good.
Edmund: But, uh, I should leave the two of you alone. (Michelle laughs.) May you always be happy, as you are right at this minute.
Danny: Thank you.
Michelle: Thanks.
Danny: Thank you, Edmund. And when uhmm, when you do talk to Richard, give him my best wishes, will you?
Edmund: Yes, I will. Yes, Richard...Richard will be happy. It's his...it's his fiancee. She can be so...
Michelle: (Sounding very curious.) What?
Edmund: Olivia?
Michelle: Well, yeah, if that's her name. It's a beautiful name. What's she like? (Yeah, okay, I didn't get that whole little deal right there. "She can be so Olivia?" Alright...whatever you say.)
Edmund: Olivia. (Yes, I believe we've established that her name is Olivia.) Well, let's just say she can be a very complicated woman. (Yeah, uhmm, Eddy? It's called PMS...)
Scene 4: San Cristobel
(Michelle is walking down the stairs wearing her gift from Eddy. Danny's sitting in a chair.)
Danny: Mmm...
Michelle: Mmm.
Danny: Yeah, baby. (What is it with them and "Austin Powers"?? They must have some freaky fetish that I don't want to know about.) You look...
Michelle: Yes?
Danny: (Pats his lap.) Why don't you sit down and I'll show you how you look. (Okay, am I the only one thinking "compass near north"? Anyways, she sits down on his lap and in the process hits her foot on the coffee table--very loudly, might I add.) You little island girl.
Michelle: Oh, my. (Kiss.) You know something?
Danny: Hmm?
Michelle: This is bliss. I mean, this is just...the perfect definition is bliss. There's nothing to do but spend time together. (And save Reva's sorry ass. As you can tell, I don't particularly care for Reva...)
Danny: This is Heaven. (Kiss.)
Michelle: You know, when I went to change, I couldn't help but notice...
Danny: Hmm?
Michelle: How many rooms there were in this house.
Danny: In your house.
Michelle: In our house. And uh...just so you know, I want to make love in every (Kiss.) single (Kiss.) room (Kiss.).
Danny: Well, I have to tell you, you look very sexy in this outfit, but I know you are sexier out of it.
Michelle: Oooh...
Danny: I know you are. (They kiss, and he starts kissing her chest, shoulders, and neck.)
Michelle: Can you believe this? I can't believe we're away from the madness and the danger. Nothing bad could ever happen here. (Oh yeah, I mean, facing a firing squad is perfectly safe...)
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