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The Unofficial John Fuglesang Appreciation Page - Quotes Viewer's Vote '98
The quotes on this page were taken from the VH1 Special
Viewer's Vote '98.
This little hour de wackiness comes to us courtesy
of VH1's Viewer Vote that must have seemed like such
a good idea in 1998. In it, Mr. Fugelsang resides
in a display window in New York with a group of, I'm
guessing, paid extras standing outside for an audience.
I guess that because they all color co-ordinate and no
one looks at the camera a lot.
Unlike my Rocky tape, I have no good reason for having
recorded this, other than he was on tv and I had some
blank tape nearby (I almost always have some
blank tape nearby).
On the nominees: "Now you're probably asking yourself
"hey, self, how do they pick them?" Well we review
such pop culture baromaters as Billboard charts, sound
scan as well as all the cards, letters, e-mails, threats and
wordy manifestos you send us on a daily basis."
"Now odds are you're gonna pick your favorite artist
on gut instinct because you have formed a
human bond with them, however tenuous and delusional
that bond may be..."
Here there are two sentences I didn't catch all of because
my VCR, trusty sidekick though it may be, is a little
slow on the uptake. I heartily encourage you to tell me
what you think they are. If you also have this on tape, I
run a webpage, what's your excuse?
"...to do my evil bidding."
"...however that is my problem,
and I'm not about to burden you with it."
"Soundtracks have gained respectability
ever since the Bodyguard soundtrack sold 400 Trillion
copies and got that Whitney Houston song a little bit
of occasional airplay, ergo, therefore, hence, to wit,
dig our nominees for best soundtrack."
"I'm not for sex segregation, ok? It's petty politics
like that that kept me off the field hockey team in
high school..."
Introducing male vocal catagories:
"So first, in the immortal words of Oscar Wilde,
let's hear it for the boys."
He puncuates that last line with a wind up and a
punch on "boys." I usually don't give annotated lines
this much room, but as the joke was so spit-take
worthy (especially coming from VH1) I thought it needed
it's own space.
On the Grammy success of Bob Dylan:
"A moment shared by my media hero, Soy Bomb."
This is followed with the closest thing to rolling
one's eyes a person can do without actually rolling
them. He rolls his tounge around in his mouth and
stares at the camera in what can only be referred
to by those who frequant this page as the Fugel-stare.
Whilst vogueing for the diva catagory:
"Chicks dig this."
On the female nominees:
"Now this guy here said before that we should get them
all together in a room and make them mud wrestle for it.
I say this guy is a dispicable sexist pig!"
"I have retired to the safty of the VH1 election
Headquaters behind 6' inches of bullet proof glass
because, frankly, while I am a man of the people, some
of these people here were kinda freakin me out...this
one guy's holding up signs like I'm Katie Couric or
something."
Questions? Comments? Tapes to Trade?
kathleen7@ireland.com
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