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The Unofficial John Fuglesang Appreciation Page - Quotes Rocky Horror
The quotes on this page were lifted from
the VH1 Rocky Horror Picture Show, the film's
premier cable airing.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show: October 30th, 1995.
As you can imagine, while I was a Fugelsang afficiando at
the time, my reason for taping this was the film itself, as
he puts it: "Perhaps the best film ever made about life,
death, fast bikes, sexual confusion and a guy who has
no neck."
Going back now and looking over my "practice tape," as I
thought of it, I noticed some remarkable aspects to Mr.
Fugelsangs hosting job:
1. No leather jacket. I usually like it, or at least
don't notice or dislike it, but seeing Mr. Fugelsang without
it only reminded me he's hiding a nice chest somewhere
in there. Also, maybe this added to his not seeming so
business as usual. He was wearing a leather vest, though,
so maybe he was working his way up to it.
2. Extensive knowledge of the Rocky Horror Picture Show
and it's audience participation lines. Much more than
you'd expect from a mere "
prompter monkey."
3. A smattering of American Sign Language? This will be
horrible news for all of you who come to this page seeking
dispassionate analysis of a fine actor's body of work (or
just his body), for there are few things in the world I
find sexier than knowlege of Rocky, and knowledge of ASL
is one of them. Perhaps Mr. Fugelsang felt it was important
to endavour to learn how to communicate with these most valued
members of our community.
Or maybe he's like me and just wanted to hit on
cute deaf guys.
Either way, I hereby resign any veneer of detachment
I ever attempted to maintain. Especially in regards to this
particular outing due to:
4. He's having fun! I know what you're
thinking, and believe me, I went back and double checked
the tape. But there's just no denying the facts, he's
smiling, he's relaxed, he practically winks at one point...
And not to sound like a gushing realtive when presented
with old photos, but he looks so young! Maybe
this is what Mr. Fugelsang was like before he was corrupted
by Pop Music's incessant insipidness and the Evil Disney
Empire and I just don't remember it, but there's just no
getting around the fact he looks, if I might so observe,
happy.
"Hi, I'm John Fugelsang and it's just a sweet transvestite,
transexual, Transylvanian Halloween on VH1!"
"Why? Why ask why, time is fleeting. So do
stick around for the late night, double feature,
picture show. You're happy, I'm happy, we're all happy,
the banister's happy."
Pagemaster's note: When he's reffing a RHPS line, I'll
be putting it in italics so you know he's not
just becoming really freaky. Also, the pedant in me (that's a
noun, right? It is now) must deduct 1 point here for
refering to the banister as happy as opposed to "sticky,"
but I'll try and assume that was a VH1 call.
"You know, watching Tim Curry I can't think of any
other actor who's so mastered the art of wearing
hospital scrubs and fishnet stockings...except maybe
Hasslehoff."
"Stick around and we'll see what's on the slab
and why Dr. Frank is a man who knows how to enjoy his
work, over and over and over again..."
"We just saw Riff-Raff and Magenta engaging in hard core,
uncut, unedited, unsafe (example here)elbow sex."
Jim as Riff-Raff: "Where else do you get to where great
cosutmes like this?"
John Fugelsang: "Well, I live in the West village Jim. I
could tell you."
"The Rocky Horror Picture Show is the finest film ever
made about murder, rock 'n roll, and incest between
alien siblings...other than Beaches."
"It ain't Gump, folks."
The last good quote, "don't even think about
going away," is only good if you see him do it. This
is the enthusiasm (re: fun) I was reffering to earlier.
When he says that, it's in such a way that I honestly
expect him to pull out Tim Curry's whip prop and thwack
any viewer foolish enough not to listen to him.
Like I said, fun.
Questions? Comments? Inside info?
kathleen7@ireland.com
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