The quotes on this page were taken from an episode of Politically Incorrect which aired March 26th, 1999.



"If you are suffering so much that you cannot stand the thought of going through life in this pain another day -- and I know what I'm talking about because I've seen Celine Dion in concert -- you should be able to have control over your own destiny."

"I'm going to guarantee you that if the poster boy for assisted suicide was not some whack job Ming the Merciless like Kevorkian is, people would feel very differently, because this guy being a spokesperson for any movement is like Michael Jackson opening a day care center."

"That's what it gets to in terms of class with this. I would be willing to be money that most of Kevorkian's clients have been poor people. Not everyone can be Christopher Reeve and be able to afford a higher quality of life when they can't more for the rest of their existance."

Janine Turner: "Where do you draw the line at who we can kill and who we can't?"
Bill Maher: "Anyone who wants it. Freedom."
John Fugelsang: "Or anyone I want to kill. And there's a lot. And Michael Bolton's first!"

On The Learning Channel having their ratings improve more than 200% when they aired "A Wedding Story:"
"You know what? I'll marry Jane, and we'll go up 200% ourselves...I was in Toys "R" Us the other day and I saw a relatively new Barbie doll, University Barbie. And she's a cheerleader. Barbie finally went off to college and the b*tch go pom-poms."

"Their ratings went up by appealing to women. You can make the arguement that this is a really crass way of doing it, by showing a bunch of brides going around doing happy happy bride stuff. This is what the television programers think women want to see, what women are all about, and it doesn't seem that deep."

"But what about the growing problem of prison baby gangs? I'm talking post-natal Crips and Bloods getting shanked by 2-year-olds."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sorry, no matter what, prison sucks hard. Allright?"

"Only one group in American history, there's been one group in this whole country's history that's ever had special rights and that's land owning white males."

"There was a guy running for senate in Arizona a few years ago who wanted to institute a law saying he would not let anyone go on parole unless they got their high school equivilancy diploma. And I thought "that's the firt positive thing I've heard anybody say about the penal system in this country in so long...that it's just a holding pen."

"Now prisons are the biggest freakin' growth industry in this country right now. They're building them left and right. And it's all about holding pens for bad people. We've got an 80% rcidivism rate no one talks about.."

Bill Maher: "That's why prisons are so overblown in this country."
John Fugelsang:"Exactly, because it's consensual crimes for victimless narcotic offenses. They're putting sick people in prison."

On gym classes for 4-year-olds. "Hey, a lot of 4-year-olds have big butts, man. I mean they go waddling in those Huggies, and it's like embarrassing."

Questions? Comments? Good J.F. Quotes? kathleen7@ireland.com
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