EDITORIAL CONCERNING MANOS, HANDS OF FATE
I’m sure you realize that
Manos, The Hands of Fate is the first review uploaded into the B-movie section of the Avant-Garden. There is a bit of twisted logic behind this—namely, my twisted logic.Those of you already familiar with B-movies are most likely a mixed bunch. Some of you may seek out drive-in schlock, the cheapest of horror, or the most idiotic of science fiction. But, I think its fair to say that all B-movie fans have a place in their heart for truly campy trash. Plan 9 from Outer Space, Robot Monster, and Samson Vs. The Vampire Women all spring readily to mind whenever the term "campy" or "kitsch" is used. And those are indeed prime examples of true camp.
Frankly, I’ve had my share of camp lately. With John Waters abusing it and turning his films into the very brand of low-budget schlock he’s trying to spoof, campy classics seem less enjoyable by the day. They seem quite pathetic now. I’ve exhausted whatever fun there is to be had from 50’s sci-fi flicks (Phantom Planet, Deadly Mantis, Beginning of the End) as well as 70’s TV horror films.
So what, then, is the final frontier for the bored B-movie fan to probe? Cult and direct-to-video! The possibilities are endless, and with cutting floor-worthy material like the super-obscurity
Manos, The Hands of Fate and DTV (direct to video) post-apocalyptic Robot Holocaust, the possibilities are also quite hurtful. When the enjoyable flicks fall short, go to the films you’re sure won’t even come close to "sub-par" (my father’s phrase; thanks, pop). It’s that simple!Well, actually, it isn’t quite that simple. Sitting through a painfully bad movie is no mean feat. I do, however, recommend to those of you who aren’t familiar with B-movies to start with terrible films like
Manos. It will hurt—that much I can guarantee to any attentive viewer—but you’ll survive it and from there any other B-movie will seem like a walk in the park.Here is precisely where people develop a distaste for my theories. The natural assumption is that one would want to ease into a new lifestyle (and it is a new way of life; one begins to notice the best and worst of cinema in new and more technical ways, such as framing, lighting, and cinematography) rather than be thrown in violently. Just the opposite is true. To truly detach one’s self from the former lifestyle, one has to sever all connections to said lifestyle. This is why a normal birth procedure is healthier for the child, as he/she is not eased into oxygen gradually because it causes neurological damage that cannot be undone (synaptic activity in the brain is forever slower than normal).
Anyhow, my reasons stand and I am proud of my decision to make
Manos, The Hands of Fate the wine bottle which will christen the ship that is the B-movie section of the Avant-Garden. There will be other times for simple, brainless camp and cheesy schlock. For now, let us soak in the dirty, grimy sludge that is Manos, The Hands of Fate.I ask you once again to ready yourself...
