Note: In general, this is written IC, because I am almost always IC when online and am writing it for online consumption. However, I am nowhere near as messed up as I would need to be to actually beleive even a quarter of this stuff. Wish it, maybe, but not believe, and that's screwed up enough, thank you. How many of you would REALLY drop your life and become your online avatars? I would, that's why I was depressed to wake up from a dream that I had.

A FISTFUL OF AARDVARKS

or

FOR A FEW DROGNS MORE

a.k.a.

THE THE WIERD, THE DEAD, AND THE AARDLY

While I have now changed my profile to have a single, seperate 2P character, it still needs to be noted that aside from being aardly, transformation and screwing up the timeline are my main shticks, and they haven't been touched on much as yet. Here, then, is a listing of all the aards that have been me, in some way or another, and several of the me's that have not been aardly.

Drogn, He of the Typo I - original online persona, the names was a typo for "dragon" perpetrated while writing a year or so before getting online and saved in my Big File of Potential Charater Names, which was lost in The Great Crash of '95. (sob) My typing skills were truly bad, then - what I turn out now without going back and proofreading looks better than what I'd find on my thrid proofreading run back then. HotT was essentially the same build as I now am, but was draconic - basically replace the fur with scales, remove the wings, and replace the head with somthing close to Wyvern Classic's, though where he has two large ear crests I had elvish ears and a single central crest.

Drogn, He of the Typo II - second online avatar, keeping the same name and adopting the form known to GMCA as ClassicDrogn after asking a rec.games.mecha regular what the deuce his ASCII art .sig was - "A wingèd aardvark?" No, it was a winged ant, but that put the idea in my head - when I apologised on the group I included my own new ASCII sig, which was only slightly different than the one I use in my email now - it abided by the 4x80 standard by using tildes as high lines rather than embedded blanks as low lines, which needs five lines, and had slightly larger ears. This was the longest lasting of my selves, going for three or four years.

The Serially Numbered Drogns - Soon after getting into the Superguy scene in a semi-active way, I stole the Time Loop from One Mad Planarian. However, as I was yet to acheive Authorhood, I couldn't ignore temporal paradoxes by retconning them away with Edit - I had to learn how to do it the hard way, by using the Loop to fork reality instead of redirecting it and merge only the desired parts into a new whole, letting the unused bits dissolve to the quantum null-state of the temporal background. The first time I tried, it didn't work, and so Drogn2 was created, who generally does all the maintenence stuff and keeps my little corners of reality ticking along with his own, while I wander around and goof off. He also won the game of janken get my account named after him, the bastard. Neither did the next time - Drogn3. Drogn4, Drogn5, Drogn6, Drogn7 ... up to Drogn36. All basically exactly the same as me, but with no Time Loops. 3, 5, and 6 formed a rock band and later talked 11 and 15 into joining them just before 3 died of a drug overdose and their tour bus was abducted by aliens - I haven't heard from them since. 17 and 18 turned evil, tried to take over the world, and got killed by being crushed under a ten ton tin of Treet (the origin of the now-dropped-from-the-movelist move of the same name), 23-31 were captured by slevers (no misprint) and turned into processed homogenized cheese food products, and 33-36 were eaten by a giant ant, one of THEM. Prime, 4, 8, 16, and 32 killed the ant and did verily feast upon its remains with wine and fine cheeses for a fortnight. Sadly, 16 got a fatal case of heartburn from this. 7, 8, 14, 19, 21, and 22 contained the rest of THEM and turned it into a giant ant ranch, where they live and work to this day raising ants for the pirate fleet of the Hashimoto corporation's formic ops division, led by Ninja Pirate Captain Black Tom Hashimoto. 4, 9, and 20 joined up with them, and only 20 still bothers to check in from time to time - he says 4 fell afoul of a kracken and now has a properly piratey wooden leg. 10 and 12 work for Toho, I'm sure you've seen them playing various roles in the more recent monster movies, usually in some form of costume but usually one lihght enough to still fly in. Their industry contacts landed 13 a villain role in a live action sentai show, but he couldn't deal with the attitudes of the hero actors and quit, but quickly ran out of cash - last I heard he was going to do a small job for some local Triad boss in Hong Kong, but there was a major turf war there and he's vanished. Drogn2 now has a TIme Loop, I gave him one as soon as I'd learned how to make it Loop itself, and he has Looped his own continuity to have been the me that became an Author. It was his idea to make ourselves variable in size, but I was the one who realized ae'd better make our armor change size as well. Drogn2 did not keep up with any transformations after that, however, he likes our current form, and was too busy playing with ZeIni (an RPG he created based on the Superguy chatroom antics - I remember parts of it, but only tiny ones)

Sixchanger Drogn (SixDrogn)- This version is supposedly robotic, but is actually a large block of plastic. It does look like a fairly good robot, at least, but without Editing himself he can only move his shoulders and knees. He transforms into five other forms: A block of plastic with wings that he claims ia a jet (zoom!), a black of plastic with wheels which he claims is a car (vroom), and block of plastic with a handle that he claims is a gun (boom), a block of plastic with treads which he claims is a tank (rrrrrumble), and a giant plastic statue of Snoopy, which does nothing except look very cool in its sunglasses. Theoretically, he also turns into a submarine, but can't remember how to.

Drogana - A female counterpart of Drogn from the Gander Inverted altiverse, so named because it diverged from what I laughingly call my canon continuity when a gander thrown out of a barn by a raider about 1100 AD landed on its back instead of its feet, and was subsequently caught and eaten instead of escaping and being eaten by a refugee, who later would have... but that's not important now. Suffice it to say that the only real difference is that The Man With Two First Names is known there as The Woman With Two Firm Breasts, Gina is Gene, YvonneZ is IvanZ, One Mad Planarian is Regina (apparently something to do with his real name), Eric, lord Sabre is Erica, Lady Sabre, and Drogn is Drogana. The Gander Inverted Altiverse was accessed when I was playing with a new gadget I'd edited up, the Superdimension Yoyo, and did an Over the Rainbow with it avter discovering that an Around The World would let the user teleport and Walking The Dog would put you out of phase and immaterial. Exhibiting remarkable good sense, she decided it was to dangerous to let me play with, reached through the portal, and took it away, then performed a Reverse Over The Rainbow and sealed it shut. Fortunately, I had kept my notes and made another soon after.

Dr. McFeelie - the rather less sane brother of Mr. Rodgers' neighborhood postman, Dr. McFeelie is a little bit of a perv and prone to giving people tranquilisers and or hallucinogenics with little or no provocation. He's often to be heard humming or singing "I Wanna Be Sedated" by The Ramones. Fotunately his stuff seems to have no addictive effects, nor does it give you a down after it wears off.

IronDrogn - a me from the 25th century who came back in time to stop a great menace, but was turned to steel in a magnetic storm along the way. Unlike 6Drogn, he's genuinely robotic-looking, and just dropped out of contact after accpomplishing he mission - he wiped all the datra from a certain research project in Microsoft's World Domination Technologies labs.

UnspeakableDrogn/CthuDrogn - during Great Cthulhu's bitter divorce proceedings with Rosanne Mythos nee Barr he stopped in at the Chapterhouse one evening in search of drinks strong enough to get himself drunk, and as the only other giant monster present we ended up barhopping... Sometime after that it got a bit hazy, and I woke up a few days later with The Headache From Ry'leh, a new set of tentacles, and black ichor instead of blood. Only a few months after that I was splattered across two continents by a gamma bomb, and when I re-formed I was back to normal. I still get the occasional cultist following me around, but after I explain things to them for a bit they generally go away. Or curl into a ball and gibber in a corner. But either way they're out of my fur, so it's okay. It may be that the King in Yellow or Golden Queen wouild be able to sense some residual cthonic energy around me, but unlikely - it's nothing compared to the full force Authorial and innate powers that I have. The only real lasting result of this side trip into weirdness is that I still have a spray bottle of something black and bubbly labeled "Cthonic Water" sitting in the back of my fridge; it tends to glow a sickly greenish-purple if anyone gets close so I haven't yet worked up the motivation to get rid of it, since that would require touching it.

CrystalDrogn - if you've read any version of my profile up to Drogn 1.0 Gold you know who this is, namely me after being vaporised in a vat of sour cream and salsa pork rinds, and resolidified around a chocolate bar. Theoretically, if it had been a dark chocolate bar, the results would have been a more innately powerful but otherwise similar version of myself, but I'm not particularly eager to try it out since getting vaporized like that is more painful than a rabid weasel trapped in your shorts. Trust me, I know. I stuck with CrystalDrogn for another whole year discounting short-term joke transformations.

EvilDrogn - Again, you should know who this is - a verson of CrystalDrogn who was formed around a chocolate bar witrh almonds, and turned evil. After destroying his own native timeline he came to the past and tried to conquer me-as-CrystalDrogn's, but after a prolonged Edit war across more realities than I had time to notice I stranded him at the beginning of time by taking away his Time Loop and giving it to One Mad Planarian, who later forgot about it. How exactly OMP was there is another question, which has never been gone into, but I suspect he'd fallen down after tripping on a plothole. EvilDrogn eventually escaped again when a younger, pre-turning-evil version of himself visited the beginning of time on a dare, killing his younger self and stealing his Time Loop to come back and get revenge. Too bad for him, all this Time Looping had finally fractured reality, and in repairing itself the reverse-time doppleganger XDrogn was created.

XDrogn stopped and destroyed EvilDrogn for good (How he was killed permanently is a secret, because it might work on ME, too) and then hung around as my 2P character for a while (OOC: If I was in two channels of the Calvin chatserver at once, one of them wouold be CrystalDrogn and the other XDrogn) until Anti-Bill (formerly known as The Man With Two First Names) killed CrystalDrogn in a duel where we'd adopted Highlander rules - winner get's the losers Edit, loser loses his head - and CD stayed dead. XDrogn then fulfilled the last of his reverse-memories, killing Anti-Bill in another swordfight before derezzing as he faded from existance, having been linked to CrystalDrogn's. The Authorial Might of CrystalDrogn then passed to...

Lightning CosmoDrogn, a human Character turned Author by the Drogn Force. An armored superhero type on his own, using the armor for protection and to boost his strength and natural energy generation and manipulation abilities. With the infusion of Edit, he manifested an aura of Kirby Dots as well... Unfortunately for him, he derezzed and was not renewed when RL me had a mild identity crisis and dropped all the IC things in his life to avoid making it worse. With the recovery of his mental balance, RL me picked up again as...

Drogn v2.0, with the name and the Edit but otherwise a normal human, thoguh in rather better shape than RL me. I quickly got bored with all that, recreated the Time Loop, and retconned everything that came after coming back from being ChtuDrogn away, thus creating me, ClassicDrogn. As to what the future may hold... well, I've heard that there's a guy who looks a lot like myself by the name of Zerro around, but haven't met him yet... I've never met anyone else who fit the description "humanoid aardvark with wings" yet either, though, that wasn't some alternate verison of myself, so he may have something to do with it.

Drogn v3.0.6 was another lame-o human who joined the crew of some sci-fi universe evacuation ship as Chief Medical Officer, then got killed when the aliens who destroyed Earth in that continuity blew up the ship. Didn't even have a suit of power armor, the loser.

SO, WHAT DOES IT ALL COME DOWN TO IN GMCA TERMS?

HotT I is basically just a costume change, except that he blocks with his forearms and flies without wings; he can't Scale though.

HotT II is exactly the same as ClassiDrogn, or rather I am the same as him.

The Serially Numbered Drogns are either dead/missing or involved in relatively normal lives, and are unlikely to show up for the GMCA except as MAYBE spectators at a match, but except for Drogn2 have no Time Loop and cannot Scale. Only 4, 9, 20, and 13 had any sort of fighting skills beyond gunplay and RL-level brawling, the pirate Drogns having been taught the Hashimoto school of martial arts ninja piracy and 13 having turned the fakey moves of Sentai into a halfway effective fighting style before he dissappeared. They would require entirely new movelists, which I for one am not going to bother with.

SixDrogn would use the same basic movelist as ClassicDrogn and Zerro, but with altered move descriptions to reflect his transforming into the most appropriate mode for whatever he's doing. His sole victory pose would be turning into the Snoopy statue. SixDrogn has the Time Loop bound into a nifty looking subcomponent behind his chest plates, and doesn't CONSCIOUSLY Scale - he does do it, though, whenever he transforms. How he thinks he goes from being a handgun to being the size of the person who can wield that handgun without Scaling I don't know, but somehow he pulls it off.

Drogana is nothing more than a change in looks (and speaking of looks, she is HOT if I may say so. Damn I wish we weren't basically the same person, not meeting any aard-babes is really starting to get me down. Humans are nice and all, but I'd like to meet someone who I can fly with without having to be Edited...)

Dr. McFeelie is a squishy, just an ordinary human with a Bottomless Black Bag of Happy Pills.

IronDrogn has no changes in the movelist as such, but is tougher and slower - kind of like Teotl, really, though the Emperor of the Lobsters is wearing armor and IronDrogn is effectively a mecha. He can Scale and has a Time Loop.

CthuDrogn doesn't kick, instead substituting tentacle attacks. As previously noted, he has black ichor instead of tentacles. IIRC Hastur is one of Chtulhu's rivals, so KiY/GQ would probably not be overly happy to see him. When high-level eldritch entities like them become unhappy, things can get... messy.

Crystal-, Evil, and X- Drogn all use basically the same movelist, with the exception of XDrogn not using any time attacks, instead having the Ten Ton Tin O' Treet to replace the Firehose of Youth and Sucker Strike instead of the Time Loop special.

Drogns v2.0 and 3.0.6 are squishies, best ignored entirely.