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     Identity: Kaimbridge M. GoldChild.

Aliai: "Scooby-Doo"; "Gomer Pyle"; "Mortimer Snerd"; "Dick Dead-Eye"; "Arnold Horshack"; "Sprinkles"; "Curly Joe DeRita"; "Jack Nicolson".
D-O-B: Tuesday 10 May 1966 (UTC). (reportedly hatched)
Occupation: Postal Worker.
Avocation: Radio monitoring and Dx-ing (receiving distant stations).
Obsession: Amateur geodesy (the inverse and direct problems).
Grand Theory: Digitology (the universe is binary).
Music: Busy, loud, richly orchestrated, spatially atmospheric, waltzy call and response, moody and bluesy quarter-beat soul (any format)——presented through heavy audio processing (hypnogogic compression).
Disposition: A strong geripedian (old/young) nature.
Accusation: Crimes against sanity.
Reward: $10,000,000.00 (payable to the accused).