Nicole's Notes:  Big "thank you"s go to Celia for inspiring me, Robin for
supporting me, Meaghan for making me laugh and Catie for letting me fly.

This will make much more sense if you've read Celia's "Keely" series, found
at:
https://www.angelfire.com/ma2/BehavioralScience/cstat/keely.html

and the rest of the Unexpected Series, found at:
https://www.angelfire.com/ma2/BehavioralScience/cstat/unexpected.html

Basically, Keely is a twentysomething bartender in Georgetown, who has seen
the ups and downs in Mac and Harm's new relationship (post-Boomerang), and
she's finally met her match with AJ, whom she met in "The Secret That I Keep."
**********************
The powder-blue wallpaper had never really seemed that bright before, Keely
mused around 4 that afternoon as she sat at her small kitchen table with a
toasted tuna sandwich.  She had risen about 3:30, grudgingly leaving the
confines of her warm bed and even more grudgingly leaving its other occupant.

But damn did she stink.

Keely took another bite of her sandwich, watching Del Waters and Kathleen
Matthews on Channel 7 as they talked about the latest District happenings.
Her normally thick hair was clipped loosely in a plastic claw, beads of water
trailing down her neck as her hair squeezed against itself and dried.  She
heard the shower shut off in her bathroom and smiled, rising from the table
to go get the sandwich she had made for AJ.

Pushing the curtain aside, he stepped into the living room.  "Hey," he said
quietly, taking the chair next to Keely's.  Stretching once, he leaned back,
crossing his legs at the ankles.  "What smells so good?"

Keely smiled, pushing the plate towards him.  "My specialty.  Tuna fish on
toast."

"Better than chipped beef," AJ commented.  "I lived on that stuff during boot
camp."  Smiling gratefully as Keely set the plate down in front of him, AJ
picked up the sandwich and took a big bite.

Keely watched him, enraptured.  He seemed more relaxed than previous
hours...not *much* more, mind you, but relaxed.  She wiped her fingers on a
napkin and stood, retreating to the kitchen to put her dish in the sink.  "I
thought I heard your pager go off while you were in the shower," she called,
rinsing the leftover tuna.

"Did it?"  AJ grabbed a napkin, wiping his hands as he darted around the
curtain and grabbed his beeper.  "Shit," he swore under his breath.  "I have
to go," AJ said as he came back to the living room, carrying his shoes and

jacket.

Keely stood still for a minute, not quite sure what to say.  Finally, she
shook herself out of it, motioning to the sandwich.  "Uh, okay...you want me
to wrap that up for you, or something?"

"Would you?" AJ asked as he shoved his feet into his running shoes.

"Sure."  Keely grabbed the plate and went back into the kitchen, rooting
around her drawers until she found the Ziploc bags.  She put the half-eaten
sandwich in, then returned to the living room, holding out the bag to him.
"You want a soda or something to wash it down with?"

"No, that's okay.  Thanks."  AJ leaned over, kissing Keely's cheek quickly.
"I'll give you a call when things are cleared up, okay?"

Keely pressed the side of her mouth against his warm cheek in return,
nodding.  "I'll see you," she said, opening the door for him.

"Bye."  With that, AJ disappeared down the hall.

Keely watched him go, a mixture of sadness and confusion taking over.  She
closed her apartment door, leaning her head against it momentarily, then
returned to her kitchen table, ostensibly to finish grading her papers.
Among the words of her students comparing two of Salinger's short stories,
her mind began to roam back to the past twenty-four hours.  "A Perfect Day
for Banana Fish" forgotten, Keely leaned against her kitchen chair and
daydreamed, with a pleasant smile on her face.

AJ strode into the bullpen, the blue vein in his forehead bulging.  "Rabb!
Mackenzie!  Get your sixes in my office, now."  He growled angrily.  Each
day, his crew got more impertinent and danced on thinner ice.

As the elevator doors opened, Keely looked around at the large, white office,
trying to figure out which way was that way.  She stood, turning in circles,
until a very tall, nice-looking man approached her.

"Can I help you, ma'am?" he asked, looking at her from clear brown eyes above
a tanned nose.

"Um, yeah, I'm looking for Admiral Chegwidden."  Keely replied, smiling
nervously.  As much as she liked AJ and didn't mind him in (or out) of
uniform, these military types sure were overpowering.

"Can I ask who you might be, ma'am?"

Keely smiled again.  "Yeah, my name is Keely O'Reilly.  I, uh, I found the
Admiral's wallet and wanted to return it to him."

The man held out his hand.  "I'll make sure he gets it, ma'am."

Keely faltered before continuing.  "I, um, I'd rather give it to him myself,
if it's not too much trouble."

The man looked at her, narrowing his eyebrows.  Before he could protest,
Keely held up her hands. "I'm not going to be long, I just have to ask him a
quick question."

The man looked back towards the end of the office and shrugged.  "I'm not
sure the Admiral can see you now, ma'am."

Keely refrained from rolling her eyes.  "Look, I'll make you a deal.  How
about if you go find out if he's busy, and if he is, I'll leave.  If he's
not, I'll be in and out in thirty seconds, okay?"

The man sighed and ushered her back towards the office in which he had been
looking. He addressed the young man who Keely had assumed was Tiner, given
the stories AJ had told her about him. "Petty Officer Tiner, Ms. O'Reilly is
here to see the Admiral."

"One moment, ma'am."  Tiner used the intercom to buzz the Admiral's office.
"Admiral Chegwidden, sir, there's a Ms. O'Reilly here to see you."

"Send her in, Tiner!" AJ's voice boomed through the little speaker.

Keely smiled at the two men.  "Thank you very much for your assistance,
gentlemen."  She walked over to the large oak door and knocked once, opening
it after a slight pause.

Keely smiled.  "Hey.  You forgot this," she said, holding out her hand with
his wallet.

AJ took his wallet quickly, shutting the door on two gaping mouths.
"Thanks," he said quietly, tucking his wallet in his back pocket.

"No problem," Keely said.  "Nice digs."

"Thanks.  I'd offer to show you around but I have too much work to do.  The
Gunny can show you out."  AJ kissed Keely softly, then turned back to his
desk.

A knock on the door interrupted them.  "Enter!" AJ bellowed.

Harm strode in.  "Admiral, I had a question on the---oh, excuse me.  I didn't
realize you were busy."  But he made no move to leave, subtly checking Keely
out, head to toe.

Keely stepped away from AJ, simply smiling.  "Harm, right?"

Extending his hand, Harm grasped hers.  "That's right.  Keely?" he offered
uncertainly.  "The bartender at O'Reilly's?"

Keely smiled, taking the offered hand.  "One and the same."

"Nice to see you again.  Do you and the, uh, Admiral know each other?" Harm
asked, nodding towards AJ.

Cutting Keely off before she could speak, AJ volunteered, "We've met, but
Keely was just on her way out, weren't you?"

Keely shot a look out of the corner of her eye and then turned back to Harm.
"Yeah.  Happy hour calls.  It was nice to see you again, Harm."  She turned
to AJ and offered her hand.  "You too, Admiral."  Heading towards the door,
she smiled again and looked over her shoulder.  "Don't be strangers, okay?"

Shaking Keely's hand with a twinge of guilt, AJ simply nodded to both her and
Harm.
**********************
Hauling ass down the parkway, AJ let the car decide where to go.  He didn't
realize where the sedan had ended up until he looked up at the sign.
*O'Reilly's.*  As if in slow motion, AJ pushed the door open and disappeared
into the smoky air.

For once, Keely's trained ear didn't hear the bell announcing a new customer.
 She leaned over the bar, laughing hysterically at Shane.  He'd been in
O'Reilly's a few times, but she'd never really paid attention to him.  But
tonight, he'd come in with a picture perfect smile, handsome features and
struck her up in conversation, the two of them debating the finer works of
Denis Johnson and his drug-induced "Jesus' Son" collection.

As his eyes adjusted to the dimness of the bar, AJ approached Keely.  Seeing
the smile on her face and hearing her laughter, the Admiral balked.  Growling
mentally, he said over the din, "Can I talk to you, Keely?"

Keely continued to laugh at Shane as she heard her name being called.
Realizing who it was, the smile quickly disappeared from her face, and she
nodded.  "Yeah, sure.  Excuse me for just a minute," she said to Shane.  She
called over her shoulder to Jack that she was taking a break, then ducked
under the bar and went to AJ's side.  "Let's go to the back," she said
quietly, pushing open the door next to the liquor counter.

Following Keely into the back, AJ's mind started whirling.  *What am I
doing?* he thought.  *I have no right to be mad, she's the one who should be
angry with me.*

Keely pushed open another door, revealing a small room with a couch and TV.
She let him pass and then shut the door, locking the handle to maintain some
privacy.  She leaned against the oak, crossing her arms.  "What's up?" she
asked, cocking her head to the side in mild annoyance.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" AJ growled.  "Who was that *boy?"

Keely's mouth dropped open in utter shock.  For a minute, she couldn't say a
thing, and when she did, her voice was dripping with anger.  "What the hell
am *I* doing?  What the fuck are you trying to pull, AJ?  You march in here
after completely humiliating me in front of your office staff, and wonder
what the hell *I'm* doing?"  She took a step forward, throwing her hands up
in the air.  "What the hell are you, my father?"

"No," AJ seethed, "I'm your *lover*."  He used the word like a weapon.  "And
I thought we were monogamous, but now I'm not so sure.  You looked awfully
cozy with that kid."  Anger and frustration blurred until AJ was literally
seeing red.

"I was fucking *talking* to him, AJ," Keely seethed.  "Talking.  Nothing
more.  And especially after the shit you pulled today, AJ, I'm allowed to
talk to other people...because my so called *lover* isn't doing much of it."

Ready to break something, AJ stared Keely down, his eyes dark and tormented.
"I'll tell you something else I'm not going to do.  I'm not going to stand
around anymore trying to be sensitive and 'share my feelings'," he spat,
"while you flaunt yourself with any Tom, Dick or Harry that comes along.  I'm
sick of being your protector when you need me, and a damned inconvenience
when you don't.  This is not how it works with me.  You do not get to make
the rules about when and I how I reveal our relationship to *my* co-workers,
and then throw it in my face that you're off flirting with someone else
because I choose not to talk about us."

Keely put her arms up in front of her, shoving him back.  "An inconvenience?
A *fucking* inconvenience? I have done *everything*," Keely growled through
livid, clenched teeth, "that you have asked me to.  When you don't want to go
out to dinner, we order Chinese.  When you don't want me to come to your
goddamn balls, I don't.  I sit at home, wondering if you've found someone
else.  I have waited and waited and *waited* for you.  I've stood by and
tried to understand and accept that you aren't going to share your life story
with me.  I did *everything* for you."  She took a deep breath, chest
heaving.  Lowering her voice, she stepped back.  "And then you waltz in here
acting like you own me, and accuse me of not giving a damn?  Simply because
someone else showed some interest?"  She shook her head, her eyes dropping.
"Maybe I was flirting.  What the hell do I know?  Maybe I was...but that does
*not* mean I was going to end up in some stranger's bed!"  She pointed to the
door behind her.  "I don't work that way, AJ, and if you gave a damn, you'd
know that."

Grabbing Keely's wrists in a tight grip, AJ stared deep into her green eyes,
trying his best not to hit her.  "I give a hell of a lot more than a damn
about you, Keely O'Reilly, which is the only reason I haven't walked out of
this bar and out of your life."  He paused, trying to control himself.
Sexually was not the only way Keely robbed him of his willpower.  "But for
every night that you sat home wondering if I had found someone else, there
were five when I was *sure* you had."  Sighing to himself, AJ continued.
"You're young, beautiful, smart and funny.  I've told you all that before.
There's no reason on earth that a hundred boys like that one out there
wouldn't want you.  I can't give you what you're looking for," he said,
almost sadly.  "I can't ever open up the way you need me to.  I'm sorry, it's
just not in me."  AJ was calm, his voice steady.  He betrayed not one single
emotion.

Keely yanked her wrists away from him, stepping to the side and sitting down
on the couch.  She leaned forward, burying her head in her hands, trying to
compose herself and her thoughts.  Finally, she looked up at him with equally
sad eyes, shaking her head.  "I know," she offered simply, her voice laden
with tears.  "And yet I'm still here."  She focused instead on the far wall
as she continued.  "There have been so many times that I've been so
frustrated with you, with your inability to tell me what's going on.  And
yet...and yet, whenever I've had the urge to flirt or whatever, you're still
there, in the back of my mind.  You're there, in my apartment, on my
clothes...I just can't get away from you, no matter how hard I try."  She
looked up at him, swallowing hard in an attempt not to try.  "And it scares
the shit out of me, and yet there's not a damn thing I can do about it."  She
rubbed her face with her hands before continuing.  "It seems to me that
everything is mounted against us.  When I went to your work today, and you
couldn't even say my name in front of Harm, I just...I don't even know, AJ,
it just tore me apart, because here we are, trying to figure out who we are
and what this is, and I'm just going in circles."

Crossing his arms, AJ finally voiced a sigh.  "I'm sorry.  I know I should
let you go, to find someone who can be what you want, but somehow I--" he
almost said 'can't'.  "I don't want to, Keely.  I like you, I like *us*.
Can't we just be whatever we are, without needing to label it and discuss it
with everyone?"
 
Keely rubbed her temples and then looked up at him again.  "I don't know,"
she replied honestly.  Taking a deep breath, she rose and stood in front of
him once more.  "I'll try," she said.  "But I can't promise anything anymore,
as much as I want to."  She sighed again, bowing her head.  She took a moment
to compose herself, then raised her head.  "Can you live with that?"

"I can if you can," AJ said.  He reached out a gentle hand, stroking Keely's
cheek.  "I--I'm sorry," he said, his voice low.  "I shouldn't have yelled at
you."

Keely smiled, turning her head to kiss his palm.  "I know," she said simply.
"Forget about it."  She sighed, a brighter, braver smile crossing her face.
"So, you wanna come help me at the bar?  We're swamped."

"I'd love to," AJ grinned slightly.  "But I have other plans."

"And what would those be?" Keely asked, her eyes narrowing in confusion.

Winking, AJ turned to leave.  "My girlfriend is coming over tonight.  I have
to pick up dinner, light two dozen candles and make a bubble bath."

Keely's mouth dropped open in a happy, shocked smile as she reached out and
grabbed his hand.  "AJ..."  She just smiled at him, and then said, "you know
you don't have to do that."

"I want to."

Keely leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.  "I get off at ten.  Think
you'll have time to pick me up before your girlfriend arrives?"

"God, I hope so.  She'd kill me if she ever found out," AJ teased.  "I'll be
back at quarter till."

Keely laughed, releasing his hand and watching him leave the bar, the smile
still on her face.  She exhaled a large breath as she headed back out to the
bar area.

"Everything okay?" Shane asked, turning in his stool from watching AJ leave.

Keely smiled again.  "Everything's wonderful.  Excuse me, won't you?"

The apartment door sprang open at AJ's touch.  The glow of at least three
dozen candles illuminated the small room, from the kitchen doorway to the
front door.  Leading Keely in with his hand over her eyes (though he didn't
know *why*, he'd already told her about the candles and bubbles), AJ escorted
her to the bed, which had a small white rose in a vase next to it, on the
nightstand.  "Okay," he said, moving his hand.  "Open."

Keely opened her eyes and smiled at the sight of her apartment, shaking her
head.  She leaned over and smelled the rose, then turned to talk to AJ when
she noticed something different about her bed.  Looking curiously at him, she
bent down and took off her duvet cover and discovered..."You found my satin
sheets."  Keely turned her head and looked at him, a grin splitting her face.
 "Someone went hunting in someone else's drawers," she said, mock-accusingly.
 

Grinning, AJ replied, "Well, yeah.  I went to KMart, too."  He pointed to the
candles.  "Aren't we impressed."

Keely laughed, nodding.  "Very.  Thank you," she said sincerely, rising up on
her toes to kiss him gently.

Wrapping his arms around Keely's waist, AJ lifted her off the ground
impulsively, his tongue parting her lips easily.

Keely met his tongue with her own and traced slowly over his, linking her
hands behind his head as she wrapped her own arms around him.  They kissed
for several minutes, until Keely smiled against his mouth.  "Didn't you say
something about a warm bath?"

Lowering her to the ground, AJ nodded.  "It's all ready, except for the
water.  I'll go start it running."  He disappeared around the corner and soon
the rush of water into the tub was audible throughout the studio.

As the sound reverberated through her apartment, Keely couldn't help but
smile, something she had been doing since AJ left the bar.  As she toed off
her shoes, untucked her shirt  from her black leggings, she thought about the
man in the other room, who had gone to such trouble for her.  Sure, he wasn't
in love with her, nor she with him; but they both cared for each other,
something she suspected neither had felt in quite some time.  She sat down on
her bed and shook her head. The nagging feeling that it would never work was
still there, but for now, she was overcome with thankfulness at the wonderful
time she was having.

In the bathroom, AJ stripped down quickly and threw his robe on.  It was much
more convenient keeping a few outfits here, since he spent at least three
nights a week in Keely's apartment.

As he came out of the bathroom, he smiled at Keely, ignoring the little voice
in his head that kept telling him it wouldn't last.  It didn't have to last,
he knew that.  It just had to be what it was: the best thing to happen to him
in a long, long time.

Keely rose, walking over to him, and began to play with the flaps of his
robe.  "Thank you," she finally said, very softly. "No one's done anything
like this for me, and it...it really means a lot, I want you to know that."

"It was nothing," AJ denied.  "Just a couple of candles.  Come on, the bath
is running."  He tugged on her hand.

Keely allowed herself to be dragged into the small bathroom, the vanilla
aroma of the candles hitting her as she stepped into the bathroom.  As she
unbuttoned the last of her shirt and let it drop to the floor, she eyed her
bathtub.  "I can't even begin to tell you how much I need a nice, warm bath
after the day I've had."

"How about a massage to go with the bath?" AJ offered, slipping into the tub
before offering a hand up for Keely.

Keely quickly disrobed, adding her leggings, bra and panties to their growing
pile of clothes.  "I'm going to apply you for sainthood," she said, climbing
into the steaming tub and relaxing against AJ's broad chest.

Chuckling, AJ laid his strong fingers on top of Keely's shoulders, squeezing
and rubbing them gently.  "Not until I'm dead," he teased.  "For now, I'd
settle for some sort of re-payment later."

Keely chuckled, her head dropping forward at his ministrations.  "I think I
can handle that," she said in a throaty whisper, closing her eyes and sighing
in contentness.

His heart started racing as Keely's voice dropped an octave.  Rubbing her
shoulders lightly, AJ dipped his head and kissed the back of her neck,
flicking his tongue over it lightly.  "I'm sorry about today," he said
quietly.  *Two apologies in one day.  You're getting soft, old man.*

Keely shook her head.  "Forget about it.  I know how you feel about revealing
our relationship to people...I shouldn't have overreacted."

Nodding to himself, AJ found it a little easier to talk when he wasn't tense
and waiting for Keely to goad him into revealing things he didn't want to
discuss.  "No, you shouldn't have...."  There was a lengthy pause.  "But I
should've told Rabb who you really were."

Keely shrugged.  "It's done." she said simply, scooting further back against
him, needing the contact.  He was so frustrating sometimes, she mused as his
hands worked the day's stress out of her.  But then again, so was she.  She
often wondered how they had stayed together so long, when it seemed the
everything was designed to keep them apart.  *Sometimes you just can't
explain it,* she finally decided.  *And sometimes you shouldn't.*

Wrapping one arm gently around Keely, AJ kept the other working the solid
knots out of her shoulders.  "How was your day, other than stressful?"

Keely laughed.  "Is there another option, other than stressful?"

"Exciting? Terrifying? Frustrating?"  He paused with a laugh.  "No, wait.
You're not allowed to use 'frustrating' until you've spent the day cleaning
up Rabb and Mackenzie's messes."

Keely laughed again, resting her hands along the bathtub's sides.
"Okay...how about exasperating?  That's a good description."  She paused,
rolling her shoulders under his welcome hands.  "Leah--the professor I TA
for--reamed me out for not watching one of the other TAs closely enough.  I
told her not to hire the girl, and now she's giving me shit for it."  She
shook her head.  "I can't wait until I'm out of this godforsaken city and
writing on some sandy tropic beach."

AJ's hands stopped dead.  "Where are you going to go?" he asked,
uncomprehending.  "Why would you leave DC?"

Keely turned halfway to face him, splashing some of the water onto the tiled
floor.  "I'm not talking about leaving tomorrow, AJ," she smiled, placing a
hand on his cheek.  "But don't you ever feel just like...getting the hell
out?  Don't you ever feel the walls closing in on you?"

*Not since I met you.*  "No," AJ said simply.  "My job is here."

Keely sighed, returning to her original position.  "I hate my job," she said
quietly, running the bubbles through her hands.  "I'm just so tired of it
all, AJ," she said, in a sad almost whisper.  "Sometimes I just wake up and
wonder what's left here for me...other than you."

"Washington has a lot to offer," AJ said quietly, resuming his massage of
Keely's shoulders and back.  "Culture, interesting people, wonderful job
opportunities...you know, bartending isn't the only thing you can do.  You're
extremely bright, Keely, you could get any job you apply for."  He almost
sounded as if he were bargaining with her to stay.

Keely said nothing for a long moment, then sighed.  "I guess it would help if
I knew what I wanted," she said finally, attempting some humor.  "One day I
want nothing more than to get the hell out of Dodge, become a hermit and
write for the rest of my life, and the next I'm seeing newborns on every side
of the street and wanting a house, a husband, a child."  She shook her head.
"I haven't the slightest clue what I'm supposed to do, and it frustrates the
hell out of me."  She paused, resting her head against his clavicle.  "I'm
sorry," she said after a pause.  "I didn't mean to rant."

"It's okay," AJ assured her, squeezing her shoulders once for emphasis.  "You
can rant.  That's what I'm here for.  Well, that and sex," he teased.  "As
far as a husband and babies..." AJ shrugged in defeat.  "I'm a little beyond
that, I'm afraid."

Keely turned and kissed him thoroughly.  "I know," she replied, resting her
forehead against his.  "We may not be together forever, and I think we both
know that.  But you're exactly what I've needed these past six months.  Don't
ever question that, all right?"  Before he could reply, she turned back into
his embrace, bringing his arms around her.

Kissing behind Keely's ear softly, AJ nodded slowly.  "I feel the same way.
You've been good for me."

Keely leaned back against his shoulder, playing with his long fingers against
her hands.  "So, dear, how was your day?" she teased.

"Not bad.  Had to bail Rabb out of an arrest again."

Keely chuckled.  "Saving the world again, huh, AJ?"

"You bet your ass."  Dipping his hand into the water, AJ squeezed Keely's
cheek.  "See?" he laughed.

Keely shook her head and laughed along with him.  "Sometimes I think you stay
with me only *because* of my ass, AJ."

Leaning forward until his lips were brushing her ear, AJ whispered to Keely.
"Shut up and kiss me."
**********************
Staring out the window, AJ couldn't reply for a moment.  "Well,
congratulations," he finally said, turning around with a bemused expression.
"I know how hard you've been working to get an offer like this.  I'm really
proud of you."

Keely smiled back, nervously shoving her hands in her pockets.  "I'm sorry to
spring this on you...I only applied for the job two days ago, and I didn't
even think I'd get it..." She paused as she recognized his "Keely, you're
babbling" look on his face.  She sighed and shuffled her feet.  "I leave for
Seattle in the morning, and I wanted to tell you in person."

He forced a little smile and crossed the room, taking Keely in his arms.
"Good luck," AJ said softly, squeezing her once, then letting her go.

Keely wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest, as she had
done so many times before.  When he pushed her away, she felt her resolve
crumbling, and tears began to fill her eyes.  But she looked up at him,
swiping angrily at her eyes, chuckling.  "I swore I wasn't going to cry," she
said, simply looking at him.  She raised a hand to his cheek, closing the
distance between them.  But instead of kissing him, she rose up on tiptoe and
kissed his forehead, repeating yet another familiar gesture.  She flattened
her feet on the floor and took her bottom lip into her mouth as she stepped
away from him.  "I had fun, AJ," she said, the tears finally escaping.
"Thank you," she said in a desperate whisper, "thank you for teaching me how
to live again."  She turned on her heel, heading towards the door, towards
her new life.
**********************
"Ma'am?  *Ma'am*?"  The insistent voice shook Keely out of her daze.  "Would
you like an aisle or a window seat?"

Keely shrugged.  "Um, aisle is fine."

The gate agent clicked her computer several times and then the printer began
to whir.  She tore off Keely's ticket and handed it to her, a fake smile
plastered on her face.  "Okay, flight 450 to Seattle is boarding out of gate
25 in about half an hour.  You're in seat 17C, and your four bags have been
checked in.  Would you like to book a return?"

Keely shook her head.  "It's one way, thanks."

The gate agent smiled and motioned to the long line behind Keely.  "Next,
please!"

Keely slung her backpack over her shoulder and headed towards the security
area.  She paused at a kiosk, smiling as she picked up a Beanie Baby with an
American flag and "Washington, DC" written on it.  She couldn't resist, and
paid for the stuffed animal.  She'd need a companion in Seattle.

Throwing the misbehaving remote onto the coffee table, AJ leaned back,
crossing his arms.  "God dammit!" he glared at the silent TV.  "Why can't
anything *fucking* work?"  He knew the television wasn't at fault--he was.
He was letting Keely get on that plane and fly out of his life because of
stupid pride.  *What's wrong with you?* he asked himself.  *You're sitting
here depressed over a woman.  That's pathetic, SeAL,* AJ chided himself.  *I
don't want her to go,* he admitted finally.  *Then don't let her,* was the
immediate answer.  "Fuck," AJ grumbled aloud as he grabbed his car keys off
the hook and opened the garage door.

Keely wandered through the massive terminal of Dulles airport, watching
people send off and welcome loved ones.  She wandered to gate 25 and sat
down, resting her head in her hands.  She was so torn inside; she felt as if
she was being yanked in a thousand different directions.  One the one hand,
she knew Seattle would be perfect for her; a professor in English lit at a
local college, plus a column in one of Washington's premiere literary
magazines.  But on the other hand, she was leaving the life she'd known for
so long, the constant in her constantly changing world.

She wiped angrily at the tears that had started to form in her eyes, and took
a shaky breath.  There was nothing left for her in DC anymore...her Uncle
Shaun was recovering from his liver trouble, Jack had taken over running the
bar, her friends were all married and pregnant...and AJ...

Keely sighed again.  AJ.  The man of a thousand faces and a thousand
emotions, throwing her for a thousand loops.  She wished he were there.

"No, you don't," she muttered under her breath, abandoning her pleather chair
in the terminal.  She smelled French fries down the corridor, and let her
nose lead her to Burger King.  Food cures all ails, even a broken heart.

"Get out of my way," AJ growled to the old lady driving fifteen miles an hour
in front of him.  Weaving dangerously, he pulled into Dulles' short-term
parking with a squeal.  Doubling his usual pace, AJ caught an elevator just
as the doors were closing and tapped his foot impatiently until they arrived
at his floor.  Running through the terminal, AJ found the flight number Keely
had given him on the manifest.  Why she'd done that, he still couldn't figure
out.  Barely keeping from breaking out into a run, AJ strode down the long
corridor towards the gate, where he hoped Keely would still be waiting.  As
he scanned the crowd, AJ couldn't see one redhead among them.  "Ten minutes
'till boarding," he murmured.  "Where *is* she?"

Keely leaned against the blue plastic chair in Burger King's dining area,
legal pad and pen in hand.  Looking up, she saw a bald man in jeans rush past
her.  She leaned over, watching him retreat.

"Holy God, he came," she said, stunned.  She looked at what she had been
writing, then furiously shoved the pad in her bag, and jumped up.  Throwing
her half eaten lunch out, she ran into the long corridor, heading towards the
gate.  She stopped just short of the man, watching his back as he scanned the
crowd for someone.  She knew it was him, she could feel it within her.

She closed her eyes for a moment, silently praying for the strength to talk
to him.  Finally, she found her voice.  "You looking for someone?"

At the sound of her voice, AJ whirled.  "Keely," he said, his voice relieved.
 "I was looking for you, kid."

Keely offered a small smile, readjusting her bag nervously.  "I was eating,"
she said, almost embarrassed.  After a pause, "I didn't think you'd come."

"I didn't think I'd come, either.  I'm not sure why I'm here."

Keely nodded, watching him wage the same inner war she was.  "To wish me
well," she finally said, swallowing around the lump in her throat.

AJ let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.  "No," he said
quietly, taking a step closer to Keely.

Keely eyed him warily, unsure of where he was going with this.  "What do you
mean?"  she finally asked softly, eyes darting around him as the gate agents
opened the boarding door and prepared for pre-board on her flight.

Moving towards her, AJ reached for Keely's hand.  "Stay," he whispered.
"Please stay."

Keely's eyes slipped shut as his hand found hers.  She finally forced them
open, tears threatening to spill over.  "Why?" she whispered back.  "Why
should I stay?"

"Because..." AJ couldn't be sure what she wanted to hear.  "Because I want
you to stay."

Keely shook her head, moving her hand to his cheek, caressing it with her
thumb.  "And that's why I can't, AJ, as much as I might want to."

"What? Why?" AJ squeezed her hand, frustrated.  "Please, Keely, I'm putting
it all out here for you.  I chased you to the damn airport," he pleaded.

Keely's chin trembled before she continued.  "You want me to stay, AJ, but
you don't need me to."  She blinked harshly as the tears finally escaped,
blurring her vision.  "Your life will go on.  I'm not a necessary part of
it," she sniffled, using the back of her hand to clear the tear tracks from
her face.  "My priorities have changed, AJ," she finally said.  "And they're
different from yours now..." she trailed off.  "I want to stay, AJ, but I
need to go."

"Keely..."

Keely shook her head, sniffling again as the gate agent called for all
passengers in rows 15 and higher.  "That's me," she finally said.  She took a
deep breath and rose on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.  "Thank you,"
she whispered into his ear as she descended.  She grabbed his hand again, and
then turned, heading towards the door.

"Keely," AJ said again.  As she turned, he stepped forward and enveloped her
in a tight hug.  Tilting his head, he brushed his lips against hers,
memorizing the taste of her.  Unable to say anything more, he turned and
walked away, the ghost of her lips still clinging to his.

Keely touched her fingers to her mouth and watched him walk away, her face
crumbling.  She was barely able to hand the ticket to the stewardess, who
gave her a sympathetic smile.  As she passed through the glass door and
headed down the jetway, a line from a favorite song came into her head:  "Put
on my blue suede shoes and boarded the plane..."

They had sung that their first night together.

As Keely made it to her seat, she smiled at the window seat's occupant.
"Excuse me, ma'am, would it be possible to switch?  I think I'm going to
sleep, and I don't want you to have to be jumping over me."

The woman smiled and nodded, rising and allowing Keely to take the seat, who
immediately rested her head against the plexi-glass.  She closed her eyes,
and allowed the silent tears to come.

Finding a seat at the emptying gate, AJ sat and stared at the US Airways logo
on the side of the plane.  The lump in his throat barely allowed him to
breathe.  If he let himself think about her...the woman on that plane...he
knew he'd cry in front of everyone in this airport, SeAL or not.  So he let
his eyes trace the paint on the metal jumbo jet, count the windows on the
plane, whatever he could.  But he knew he wouldn't be able to leave until
Keely was safely underway.

Keely opened her reddened eyes, sighing.  She touched her lips again, then
touched the window as she looked back out at Dulles International Airport.
She bent and fished out her legal pad, furiously writing as the plane pushed
back from the gate.

Watching as the glinting silver caught the sunlight, AJ pressed his hand to
his mouth, still able to feel Keely's lips there, as they'd been so many
times.  His chest tightened as he fought the tears.  As the plane took the
air a few minutes later, AJ raised his hand, waving slightly.  When he walked
away, his head was lowered, hiding the few tears that had managed to escape
his will.

As the stewardesses droned on about the illegality of tampering with,
disabling or destroying a lavatory smoke detector, Keely simply kept writing.
 About need and want, about the desire to love someone, because of and in
spite of all those annoying little tendencies...and about the need to let go.

"I learned so much from him, even if I hated to admit it.  He taught me about
the world outside of my bubble, taught me how I fit into it, about how
priorities change.  But most of all, he taught me about letting go.  Not only
of my inhibitions when it comes to what others might deem an implausibility,
but about myself, about who I am.  And even if our paths never cross again as
they did by chance over seven months ago, his will be the uneraseable change
of my life.  I took a chance on him, he took a chance on me, and we survived.
 Tattered and torn, we survived."

THE END
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