eye of fear
words ment for silence
not fully grown
perfect smile
hellish test
Broken Angel
the girl
what are you doing
back to main page
3/10/99
eye of fear
clouded by outsides
dark and swollin
round and clear
hallucinagenic
floating here
inspirations disapear
now its just a hollow spheer
shouting words you can not hear
mind is melting
from the lies
silently
wishing tears would fall
from your eyes
but your feelings
can not feel
now apon your knees
you kneel
trying hard
you cant feel
but then at last they reapear
now your strangled
chocked on fear
mind is open
to what now lyes here
a naked body
unreveled
cold
shaking on the floor
illusions gone
can you take whats given
and remain alive
or be taken by the tricks
eye of fear
shaking here
let me wisper in your ear
tell you something
the only now you can hear
see you crying
think your dying
hold you up
take your hand
bring you to a better land
little breathless
eye of fear
if you listen
to those pretenders
please remember
dont surender
4/16/99
words ment for silence
feeling dark and broken
cold and grey display
these are words
that cant be spoken
and sound the same way
words are spoken in your head
and so you write them down
when others read them silently
its a pleasing sound
but when they're blerted all aloud
they seam to draw a taunting crowd
4/16/99
not fully grown
shimmering
artificial shit
and softly spoken lies
you never know just how you look
through other peoples eyes
keep staying here
and wilting here
the image sorta glows
I can taste it on my lips
and smell it with my nose
your door is there
right next to you
you built it
by yourself
with just one tiny flaw
you forgot to mold a key
to fit the little lock
4/20/99
perfect smile
my perfect baby
exists
though
he's not near
I know
he's alive
it will always please my soul
to have this devine knowledge
in my mind
he'll always be mine
and so
I smile
4/20/99
hellish test
depression
its a hell
so hard
to penatrate
its a test
I am put through
can I make it
this time
this tangles web
of tainted reality
if I can
it will bring me
such a glamorous
beautiful
reward
of sheer bliss
and nothing
but smiles
laughter
it strains my poor brain
weakening
my muscles
my heart
my skin
my thoughts
my very being
but I come out
with a knowledge
a sence of knowing
an understanding
which brings me closer
to the truth
6/15/99
Broken Angel
your wings are torn
I'm watching as you fall
you say
I'm broken love
I'm broken
and I say I know
can I fix you
but you dont want me to tell you
your worth fixing
two teachers you once knew
one who gave you up
one who tore you down
teaching you
that you were nothing
there was nothing there to love
you were a mistake
a little boy is hurting now
this tinny child aching
now grown some
he's not sure why
he gets these sudden erg's to cry
his head slowly slouching into his lap
his hands covering his face
his smile fadded now
but the sighs melt fast
turning into anger
so he runs
away from helping hands
with devilish plans
I miss him
I wonder if
he'll ever realize
how much he's worth
before he sinks into the earth
such a beautiful creature
a tender giving soul
giving so much there's nothing left
for himself
a soft gentle face
and glowing eyes
the thoughts he thinks
about himself
make me want to cry
somewhere down this long dry road
I'm wishing he will find
that letting his insides
out
will be the way to heal
12/10/98
the girl
want to become her
she's who I need to be
have to fight this
and make it leave
need to beat it fucking senceless
and push it down
make it drown
throw it
hard away from me
become the girl I want to be
place myself in new shoes
with new self
esteam
play myself like a game
it all may seam a little lame
hard to do
hard to keep
gotta get it though
need to be
need to see it
must help myself
cant do without
I know sweetness
will become of this
and love
and lust
and liking
hard away from me
to become
the girl I see in me
6/10/98'
what are you doing
Precious love
baby doll
please deside
what you want to do
I know you care for me
but
maybe
your just not in love
I see you rarley
your words
a tender song
it plays
over and over
in my head
like theres a skip
in my heart
precious love
please deside
weather you need me
if you can feed me
with what my heart desiers
I don't want to love
like this
I want your gentle kiss
I want you to be there
I want to see there
is a reason
you say you love me
and sometimes you miss me
cry
don't leave me here
you know I love you
I'm thinking of you
I wish I could get
into your mind
then I might discover
the way you work
my foolish lover
